2 weeks postpartum

so technically this should have been posted on thursday, but, surprise, i forgot.

How far along: 2 weeks postpartum  (7.29.10)

Total weight gain/loss: not sure... one week ago i was down 16 lbs leaving me at a +8lbs.  but i've been eating a LOT of brownies since then... as i said, that whole "healthy eating during pregnancy" thing was going down the drain after she came out!

Maternity clothes?: no thank you!  i'm wearing my normal clothes and loving it!  my shirts are so much longer without the belly!  and i don't care that i have that spare tire look around my middle.  I STILL FEEL SKINNY so don't you tell me otherwise.

Stretch marks?: the ones around my belly button are barely visible because they aren't so stretched anymore.  the ones on my side... they look as bad as ever.  but with my pudgy tummy out front, who has time to worry about sides?!?!

Sleep: sleep is fabulous.  only two nightmares in two weeks!  and i can get four or five hours at a time.  it is SO much more restful than during pregnancy!

Best moment this week: there are so many.  but i one of my favorites was last night.  chris and i went shopping in redwood city to get him some new clothes.  towards the end, baby girl woke up and wanted to eat.  i took her to the car, got out my cute nursing cover, had a darn good feeding session, changed her diaper on the back seat, and got her situated back in her carseat (all while keeping her bow nicely in place).  i don't care what working people say about stay at home moms, but at that moment (and obviously still right now) i felt EXTREMELY accomplished.  i was handed a challenging new task and i passed the test with flying colors!  i need a plaque.

Movement: it was so weird that the first few days after she was born, i swear i could still feel her moving inside of me.  i'm sure it was probably just a contracting uterus or something like that, but let me tell you, it was creepy!  but anyways, these days, i just love watching her move when she's asleep.  she millions of facial expressions and all of the stretches... it's bliss.

Food cravings:  i call them crack brownies.  they're actually normal (or so they seem) brownies with a little powdered sugar on them but they taste like they have a whole stick of butter in every bite!  YUM!  someone in the ward brought them over.  why are people bringing so many treats when they know i'm still fat?!?!

Gender: GIRL!!!  i absolutely love the bows and polka dots and flowers and EVERYTHING PINK!  absolute heaven.

What I miss:  ummm, it's crazy that as much as i absolutely loved being pregnant... this is just so much better!

Milestones: it's been TWO WEEKS already.  holy cow.  and that i'm only taking a few painkillers a day.
Theme: i have a new life now
Extra:  i posted a comment on facebook about how my in laws left and i was going to be on my own for the first time.  i absolutely loved one of the replies i got "actually, you'll never be on your own again.  that girl is here to stay."  i've thought about it a million times since then.  i love it, i love it, i love it.

rambling

i feel like i have so much going on these days but it all revolves around me me me and how i have a baby now.  i was talking to my good friend rach yesterday about how some people post such annoying stuff on facebook all about them and their baby.  i told her i would try to avoid doing that but i made no promises for my blog.  comments and pictures on my blog won't show up in anyone's newsfeed and if they come to my blog and are annoyed with what they read, let that be a lesson to them!

anyways, back to me.  i have a baby now!

chris texted me the other day... "how do you like your new life?"

wow... crazy.  well, i love it.  i feel totally content.  instead of looking forward to 6:00pm or even better, friday at 6:00pm, i'm just loving the present.  each day and night is flying by far too fast.  i'm anxious to experience it all but i swear i get whiplash trying to keep up with it all.

as of yesterday, baby girl is two weeks old.  she is a good eater and a great sleeper and she almost never cries.  she eats about every four hours during the day and every five at night.  she has spoiled me already and i'm going to be severely sad if/when she turns into a terror.  but, i consider myself a very lucky and blessed individual so i think there might be hope.  and if not, i've enjoyed it while it's lasted!  baby girl has my eyes, nose, mouth, cheeks, appetite and love of sleep.  we are crossing our fingers that everything else comes from chris.

the tired caught me

maybe it was adrenaline or maybe that i wasn't on intense pain meds... but the first week i was wired... the next few days still doing fine.  and today, i got tired.  perfect timing since my mother in law leaves tomorrow morning.

oh my goodness, wish me luck.

small update

i'm still here.

life is going really really well.  miss abigail elise is doing so so well and is already winning awards for the world's easiest baby.  as much as i loved being pregnant, i am LOVING all of the energy that i have now and enjoy not falling asleep every time i sit down for more than two seconds.  christopher on the other hand is feeling severely sleep deprived but i'm sure he'll get over it with time.  i had a really really really rough recovery but with the help of numerous appointments and calls to doctors and nurses a lot of motrin and narcotics and the passing of time... i'm getting better little by little.  much thanks to my mom and chris and chris's mom for waiting on me hand and foot and taking care of me while i take care of abigail.  they have been lifesavers.  around here we don't do too much.  we eat, play, and sleep.  that cycle continuously repeats and i love it.  i feel such purpose in life right now and my biggest problem is being gentle with abigail when all i really want to do is smother her with hugs and kisses.  but gentle i will be...

until she can handle more vigorous affection.

a child is born

mine to be exact.

this morning at 1:08 am

8 lbs, 5.5 ounces

20.5 inches long

pictures on facebook

40 weeks

How far along: 40 weeks  (7.10.10)

Total weight gain/loss: + 24 lbs

Maternity clothes?: counting down the days til normal clothes.  i swear i wear the same few outfits over and over again.

Stretch marks?: they don't bother me so much anymore.

Sleep: more normal dreams this week.  consistently waking up to go to the bathroom once a night.

Best moment this week: mom came in town!!! 

Movement: slowing down i think.

Food cravings:  i'm loving squash and zucchini these days...  ummm, i dunno, a lot of times i just don't have an appetite so i'm happy when things look appealing.

Gender: GIRL!!!  i took a non official inventory of her wardrobe and most everything includes hot pink.  i'm in heaven.

What I miss:  i'm not quite sure about that although there's gotta be something....

Milestones: hitting my due date!  but according to chris, that's definitely NOT something we wanted.
Theme: the week of my body is getting ready for labor!
Extra:  my poor christopher.  he is DYING with every second this kid doesn't come.  i know she's getting ready though because this past week has felt so so so so different than before.  i can really feel my body preparing for labor.  the heaviness, cramping, contractions, sudden and intense backaches that extend into my legs, etc.  it's all pretty crazy because it was only a week ago that i felt totally normal, just big.  now, i feel my body gearing up for something big!  i had an appointment on wednesday.  according to the doctor i was 2 cm and 75%.  she said baby is at a -2 station.  keep on coming kid!  i have another appointment on thursday if i make it that long.  and then i think my doctor would induce me within a few days.  i didn't ask specifics on that because i really don't want to have to be induced.  i hope that's not too much wishful thinking.  technically my due date was the 9th.  i had my last day of work on thursday and picked my mom up from the airport that evening.  friday we spent all day shopping and doing some extra last minute things.  i'm pretty comfortable being pregnant, but let me just say for the record that mother and christopher are not at all happy about this baby postponing the party!!!  i used to be somewhat apprehensive about the hospital experience and recovery.  i guess i still am a little, but mostly i'm just really excited to experience the next adventure to this whole pregnancy thing!  so far, pregnancy is everything i could have hoped for and more! 

39 weeks

How far along: 39 weeks  (7.3.10)

Total weight gain/loss: + 22.5 lbs

Maternity clothes?: not so bad this week.  thank goodness for that.

Stretch marks?: they are super bad.  they've just completely taken over and chris loves commenting on my "designs."  what a sweet euphemism for something so unattractive.

Sleep: sleep is still good.  sometimes i get airplane sleep at night but i have my share of sleeping nicely through the night that makes up for it.  still some super bizarre dreams.  one of the strangest nights included four or five weird dreams in a row.  one of them was that i gave birth to a little man.  it was like a four or five year old little boy but he could talk and reason and everything like an adult.  and in all honestly, the "man" was one of my past coworkers!!!  i was talking to the boy about how he wasn't going to fit in any of the clothes i had and asking him if he was wanting me to breastfeed him (we both decided that that would be a tad too awkward).  and one other dream was especially weird too but i can't remember it too well.  i think i performed my own c-section or something like that.  i'll have to be better about writing them down before i forget them.

Best moment this week: packages on my door step!!!  to settle my anxiety, our carseat finally came!  and i got two bebe au lait nursing covers and a rainforest jumparoo from my friend amber, whose daughter, kailee, was my favorite little girl at the daycare in colorado.  and i got a much bigger than i expected package from my cousin marianne!  she said she was going to send me "belly laughs" so i was eagerly awaiting a little package.  but it was a BIG box!  it had belly laughs, and a bunch of hand me down clothes, and some baby girl outfits she picked out herself and i'm in love with the little polka dot pants... they have a giant flower on the bum.  honestly, they're the cutest thing ever.  so that was all a lot of fun and i read belly laughs all in one sitting.  it's definitely a book i'll recommend to my pregnant friends!

Movement: i thought movement was supposed to slow down a bit but especially these last few days she's been especially active.  i can tell she's real cramped in there because even her gentle jabs can be pretty uncomfortable.

Food cravings:  i haven't really liked food much the past week or two and it's getting worse.  it semi reminds me of first trimester because i'm always hungry but i don't want to eat.  so i'm getting headaches more often as a result of that.  but NOTHING could be as bad as those first few months!

Gender: GIRL!!!  i do have enough gender neutral clothes and clothes with blue that we'd be fine either way though... well, that's a lie.  we'd be fine on the clothes front although emotionally i'm not sure i'd be fine with a boy at this point.  ;-)

What I miss:  the non itchy belly... still.

Milestones: now, when people ask me when i'm due i can just say "friday!" instead of giving them the countdown.
Theme: the week of realizing i'm still in denial.  i honestly feel like pregnant is just my new way of life.  it's weird to me that things will change and eventually i'll be non-pregnant and have a child.  will it ever click?  i mean, i still haven't even brought myself to pack a hospital bag yet...
Extra:  my belly still drives me nuts.  a number of times, i've woken up during the night because i'm frantically scratching my belly and i'm so tired that i fall asleep again while i'm still scratching!  as a result, i now have little scabs (gross, i know) speckling my belly because i've scratched my skin so raw.  i look like a kid with eczema.  it still helps to ice my belly when the itching just get's so bad.  i just use whatever i can find out of the freezer.  otter pops (still connected to one another) work best.  using two loaves of frozen bread is okay temporarily but doesn't hold it's chill too long.  i fell asleep a few days ago clutching two loaves to my belly and woke up a few hours later to completely thawed bread.  to a much lesser degree than earlier in pregnancy, i'm experiencing the apathy and overall "down" feeling accompanied by a little irritability.  as long as it's not bad like before, i can totally deal.  chris has been really great about it.  i really wish i could experience that whole nesting thing it seems like everyone gets.  i have the anxiety of wanting things clean and organized and prepared, but i just don't have enough energy for it.  i get to overwhelmed physically and emotionally.  so i find myself worrying about the super important stuff that i know won't get done unless i do it myself (like painting my toes) and chris makes fun of me, rightfully, for it all.  official due date is friday july 9... just days away!!!

dear sawah

 dear sawah,
months ago you asked if i was going to my beach family reunion this summer.  i sadly had to explain that i would miss it for the very first time in my 24 years of life because i would be a full nine months big.  every time i've thought about missing it i've been close to tears... so sad i won't be there to partake of the family tradition this year.  i remember wondering why you were asking me about it.  maybe you were just really thoughtful and in tune with my emotions to know it would be traumatizing for me.  no, when i asked you, your answer assured me that was not the case.  ;-)  you just wanted to see how giant i would look in a swimsuit.  well, here you go.  i crammed my giant self into my swimsuit and went swimming on saturday almost as a tribute to the beach reunion i was missing since i knew my family would be driving to ocean isle at the exact time i was swimming at the stanford pool.  anyways, i had chris take a picture for you.  and just as a fun comparison, i added what this swimsuit looked like on me a short nine and a half months ago...

okay

okay

and OKAY.  say, "wooowww, she's really let herself go.  poor chris."
 ps- i swear my arms have NOT gotten that fat (although i will admit that i AM that pale)...  it's just an unflattering picture.
LOVE YOU SAWAH!