Her exact words

"All flights are completely booked"

Oh good, I'm so glad I just hate checked my baby's car seat so I can hold her on my lap for the entire flight while I stare at these two seats across the aisle from me. 

Especially that the stewardess just told me I need to take my sleeping baby out of the wrap for takeoff. "For safety purposes."  Oh the irony. 

This trip isn't even over yet and I am soooo done. I may never travel again. 

A few days early...

Merry Christmas! 

The day I threw away my engagement ring

Thursday was honey's office Christmas party. Not the fancy dinner one, just the potluck party at the office where everyone hangs out and makes gingerbread houses out of graham crackers. 

I had surprise house guests come in the night before (WOOHOO Rebekah stork and company!) ao I was hanging out with them Thursday morning. And there was a pancake breakfast at Abigail's school that morning that honey took Abigail too. So that worked out great that I didn't have to take her. Anyway, all of this is to say that my morning was not typical at all. 

So I said goodbye to my wonderful guests and then Brady and Elizabeth and I picked up Abigail from school and went straight to honey's work. We had a blast eating food and candy and watching everyone give their final secret Santa gifts and hanging out. Finally the party started dying down and I took Elizabeth to honey's office to feed her. While I was in there I was all, where'd I leave my phone? Oh well, no big deal, I'm sure it's in the conference room or by my purse or something. And then two seconds later I happened to look at my hand and notice that my ring finger only had on my wedding band. NOT the engagement ring with diamonds. I immediately stopped feeding Elizabeth and went to the conference room to search the floors. Everything in there was already cleaned up and I told honey my ring was missing. He was all "well it's not in here, I already checked everything super well to make sure there was no candy or crumbs left behind. So we thought "well my morning was really atypical, maybe I only put on my wedding band and just didn't notice. I frequently don't wear my rings. I remembered that Sharon took a picture of Elizabeth's skinny jeans so I ran to her office and had her zoom in on the picture. I was wearing both rings in that picture. WHAT THE HECK DID I DO AFTER THAT?!?! Then I remembered that I washed my hands after is changed Elizabeth's diaper. I hoped it didn't go down the sink but thought there was a pretty good chance it came off when I was drying my hands. I remembered specifically that I used a paper towel to dry my hands since I didn't see the hand towel. Julie started rummaging through a big trash can while I started rummaging through a small one on the other side. Then I remembered that I definitely threw it away in that big trash can because I'd made a joke about the guy that throwaway his gingerbread house immediately after giving up. ; )  At that, Julie spread out the disposable table cloth and dumped out the entire contents of the large trash can and we started sorting through it, specifically unwrapping all the paper towels. It only took a minute before I saw my ring laying there on the edge of the table cloth/pile of trash. Hallelujah!!! I shouted that I found it and put it right on my finger. Julie went directly to wash her hands and then laughed when she saw that I didn't even wash my hands or my ring before reuniting the two. Nope. No way! I have a feeling I'll be wearing my ring even more infrequently now. That will have me scared for a while to come. ; ) 

Love/hate giving gifts

i really hate giving gifts (or really anything for that matter).  it knocks at all my insecurities and it just defies logic.  like "why am i guessing at a $10 gift for you so you can guess at a $10 gift for me?  why don't we just each spend $10 on ourselves and know that we're getting exactly what we want?!  i know that's not as fun, but as i said, LOGIC.  also, i hate trying to guess what someone likes.  or what they already have.  or what they might need.  it makes me so insecure.  what if they don't like dark chocolate?  what if they think milk chocolate is boring? what if they are just into fruity candy or are on a health kick and don't want sweets in the house?  even if it's not a formal present, my insecurities are still there.  what if someone doesn't like the cookies i made?  or what if they don't don't like whatever thing i'm getting rid of and are just trying not to offend me about it?  i don't want to put someone in an awkward spot.

so through all of that... the weird thing is that i love getting stuff from other people.  i love people's hand me downs especially.  i know i could probably buy it myself and i appreciate that someone else has saved me that time and effort... but really i love the happy thoughts that things invoke when i see them.

today was a snow day.  we spent the day in our pj's watching christmas movies and hanging out.  honey came home from work early and took the kids sledding out back.  he asked me to watch from the kitchen so i could come get brady when he decided he was done.  so i smiled and giggled as i watched the three of them.  it was perfect.

and as i watched them, i saw the sleds my dad got for us when he was visiting one time.

i saw abigail's pink snow pants from her cousin that my sister gave to us.

i saw the hats and gloves from klaudette.  without the gloves, the kids wouldn't have been able to go sledding at all.

and i saw my honey, always giving of his time.  coming home early and braving the 18* snowy, windy weather.

i may be the worst gift giver on the planet... but i do have a grateful heart.

Sunday successes!

Today was wonderful. I went to sleep around 3am, but didn't wake up at all until 8. And I woke up next to Brady which is always pretty cute because he comes in after daylight and snuggles up to me to get another hour or two of sleep. 

I woke up to the sound of Elizabeth and fed her and put her back in her crib. Honey came home and we hung out while he made/ate eggs and I put chicken in the crock pot. 

I got ready for church and left for choir practice while honey bathed and fed the kids and got them ready. I was on time/early for choir practice at 10:20 and hung out with Shannon and Rebecca while we practiced. And I convinced Katherine to sit next to me for the Christmas program so I could listen to her sing and I would be a stronger singer as a result of hearing her sing out part. I'm semi obsessed with Katherine. She's incredible for a million reasons, but today I admired her part in playing prelude music on the organ, the regular hymns on the organ, singing in a duet, singing in the regular choir, singing in the double quartet, playing the piano accompaniment for another song, and then doing the organ again for the closing song that was with the choir, congregation, and the piano as well. I just kept watching her feet. She knows how to do all the organ songs with her feet! It's insane to watch! She also homeschools her kids and composed her own music, but nbd. I wish I was better friends with her. I'll make that one of my 2016 goals. ; ) 

Anyway, the Christmas program was fantastic, especially joy to the world with everyone and the organ and piano. 

Second hour, I ended up talking to Farah in the hallway after I changed Elizabeth's diaper. It started as a chat about visiting teaching changes but then turned into a real heart to heart about motherhood. I'm so greatful for that conversation we had. 

Third hour RS was nice even though Elizabeth was still awake. She's such a trooper. I finally fed her and put her to bed around 2:30, but I didn't swaddled her and she woke up 30 minutes later. But I left her in her crib with a binky forever and it didn't even matter. I helped Abigail and Brady with random stuff and made teriyaki chicken and fried rice and stir fry veggies for dinner for bri and Kelsey and added some of honey's amazing brownies for dessert. I hope they liked it. I didn't have time to eat any today but I can't wait to eat it for lunch tomorrow. I was right on time to drop it by their house at 5 and visit for a bit before meeting honey and Abigail and Brady at the church for the 5:30 fireside on improving scripture study. Alexis was hilarious and I learned a lot. I got all the kids to bed while honey cleaned up the kitchen and great room. He has seriously been over the top helpful lately. Taking initiative in cleaning up and helping out around the house. Like he'll just do a bunch of dishes and clean the kitchen and run the dishwasher and then have it unloaded before I even know it. I appreciate it so much. 

I had some wonderful quiet moments to myself in Abigail's room after the kids drifted off and was still in time to snuggle honey before he fell asleep. It's been a great Sunday... Hopefully indicative of a super great week to come! Brady's birthday and celebrating Christmas and other stuff too!  Lots to look forward to! 

In other [very random] news... I'd like to move to Thomasville Georgia. I'm just working on convincing my honey. ; ) the house on lovers lane is calling my name. 

Our family picture

The Hilliers haven't all been in the same place at the same time during 2015 to take a family photo, so we're all doing our own and meshing them together in a collage. After church, we took our part. Honey set up our spot and a ladder (as our tripod) and I clicked our self timer button. Even though it was after church and the kids were all hungry and Elizabeth was crazy tired, everyone cooperated super well. It was the most painless family photo I can recall in a long time. I appreciated honey's positive attitude. Also, it put me in a good mood that we just so happened to come up on the spot with clothing options (the colors were red for girls, black for boys, and whatever for kids) and kid placement for the photo. Hallelujah for that. 

This is Elizabeth's sultry face. 

I've been having Emmy send updates from the farm. It kills me not to be there. I have a whole lotta love hate going on with the updates. I wish I was there. 

After choir practice, I walked out of the church and was blown away by this beautiful sunset. 

I should have just had Abigail do her homework and then taken the kids up for bed, but I suggested we play this little Book of Mormon chutes and ladders type game and I'm glad (I think) that I did. Abigail was so into it and Brady really liked it. And it made me think of my childhood and honey was doing a great job moving it all along. It was a sweet, sweet moment. 

I haven't even into Christmas at all this year. So it helps me to hang out by the tree and listen to Christmas music as often as I can. 

Doctor appointments and avs game

Papa

I'm not really ready to write about it yet, but just felt like I needed to mention it.  Papa passed away thanksgiving evening. My heart hurts and I try not to actually think about it. I won't lie, I'm still very much in denial and I think I will be for a while to come.  

I'm an empty shell

No paragraphs for you. 

Ugh. What is my deal?!  Today was a sad day for me. I've been having a hard time adjusting to normal life since I got back from Georgia. I know that a lot of times this is totally normal for me after trips. Because I thrive being around other people and it's hard to leave that. But this time, it's like I left my heart in Georgia and the only thing here in Colorado is an empty shell of myself. Thursday and Friday I was able to stay kinda busy with stuff like laundry or whatever, but I didn't have that drive that I frequently do to charge through things and get everything in order. I've had very little patience for my kids and especially their fighting. They each thrived on their own (chris and I were texting back and forth about how Abigail/Brady were so easy going and well behaved) and it's been hard to go back to them being best friends that can't get along. Abigail is back to her hitlerish nazi dictator act that she always has with Brady and barks orders and declares everyone around her "the meanest" when she doesn't get her way and Brady wants my attention all the time so I have guilt for wanting to check out and not spend any quality time with him. Elizabeth is perfect, as always, thank goodness... But I'm just too tired to do anything with her. Too often, I worry if she's going to go brain dead or if her muscles are going to whither away because I don't spend enough time stimulating her in any way. She sleeps all the time and then I make her laugh like crazy when I change her diapers or her clothes. Beyond that, she is too easily ignored... So, guilt. Also, as honey put it earlier today "our house is a pig sty! What happened?!?!  I had this place spic and span when you came home!"  It's true. I gave up and stopped doing dishes and putting away stuff from our trip and I haven't asked the kids to clean up anything and really I've just wanted to lay in bed as much as possible. I don't know exactly why. I have guesses, but I still think I'm pathetic for feeling so affected. I'm sad that I'm not in Georgia with my family. And I'm feeling my normal guilt that I'm the reason for every bad choice and imperfection I see in my kids. But also, my brain feels clouded. My heart aches for grandmother. I can't get my mind off her (not like I want to) and I just think so myself how helpless I am to get and how far away I am. I worry about the future and how things will play out. Also, I don't know that I've really expressed this out loud before, but as much as I love the beautiful example of granny and papa's marriage... It's discouraging to me that my marriage will never live up to that. I know I'm ridiculous but I can't help it. I'm getting so overwhelmed and distracted and frustrated. Today I had my husband and two kids next to me in bed and everyone was being crazy and I had a headache and it seriously took everything in me not to smack them all and kick them out of my room. Instead I pride myself from that tangle of bodies and took a breather in the kitchen, but seriously... It was frustrating. It still is. I spent most of the morning in bed looking at cheap car seats and boosters online that will be somewhat easy to bring with us to panama instead of our giant car seats. Thank goodness for Christopher taking Brady with him and doing our grocery shopping since we were out of milk but I couldn't even face the thought of a full grocery shopping trip. I think my honey knows I'm not feeling my best emotionally right now. After the kids were in bed and I was holding sleeping Elizabeth forever (because that truly always helps me feel better), he cleaned up downstairs. When I walked down, I noticed that the great room was clean... And the dishes were all done... And the groceries were all out away... And the counter clutter was tidied up. I don't think I was a nice or fun person to be around today, but somehow he just kept giving. Abigail took an hour of tears (about every item of clothing I suggested) to get dressed. Honey brought up that that never happened while he was taking care of her and it must be something in my strategy. I explained to him that his strategy works if you only have one kid... But I have three. I told him maybe we should think about giving away two of our children and not making any more. He went upstairs to help abigail while brady and I got in the car. See? Just kept on giving. I took Abigail and Brady to "yes virginia, there is a Santa Claus"! with Klaudette and Hallie (Kelsey had her baby this morning!) and it was ehhhh (basically just an elaborate dance recital), but honey and Elizabeth joined us after for dinner at August moon and it really helped my mood. Really it was just a headache brain fog sort of day and I'm hoping tomorrow is better. I'm hoping the days get better as time passes... But right now I'm either actively doing something and  hanging out with people... or I'm just depressed and only want to lay in bed. Someone just reassure me that granny will be okay. I just want her to be happy. 

During dinner, I bribed the kids with pennies. I set out three pennies and told the kids that whoever was being a good listener during dinner would get to toss a penny in the water. This was big motivation for them and after we fibished, they each took their penny over to the fountain. Hallie threw hers in immediately. Brady tossed his in a little later. And Abigail chucked hers as hard as she could, hoping to get it inside of the fish's mouth. 

See those people sitting at the table in the right corner of the photo? Well Abigail's penny flew over the fish and right to their table. We all had a good laugh. Then we repositioned Abigail (as you can see below), so she could try again, but with no one in her line of fire. That girl. It's always something. 

Christmas fun

Elizabeth is great. She slept all night and didn't wake up til 7. But I was exhausted from dealing with Brady all night so I fed her and put her back to bed and she slept until 11:30. The girl is a gem. 

I had a rough time with my kids today. Not my baby, because she is perfection, but my older kids. I was annoyed with Brady for having so much energy and being so whiny after being up so much during the night and with Abigail for being so distracted and not getting ready for school. At least I got a shower this morning because when I got Abigail from school, she was on one (as usual) and hit Brady twice and was throwing bit fits. I put Elizabeth down for a nap, put out applesauce and turkey sandwiches for Abigail and Brady to eat for lunch, and I got myself to bed for a nap. A long nap. Thank goodness for that. They made a huge mess but it was worth it. 

I called and talked to granny while I watched Abigail and Brady dance in front of the Christmas tree to Christmas music. It was the highlight of my day. 

Our Christmas party tonight was really nice. The food was excellent and the music and songs were wonderful. Our nonmember friends came and Abigail loved playing with their daughter, Alex. On the way home though, she asked why the party wasn't fun. Ha. At least the rest of us enjoyed it. 

When we got home, chris took the kids inside and Elizabeth and I went to shaylee's for a Christmas themed girls night. We got there an hour late because it started at 7:30, but it didn't wind down til midnight so there was plenty of fun to be had. But thank goodness for that nap earlier. 

I'm out of milk because I hate grocery shopping now and am procrastinating it. First thing tomorrow, I gotta suck it up and make it happen. I neeeeed to figure out my grocery shopping plan going forward. 

Our Christmas plans

On the way to school today, Abigail informed Brady and me that we would be going to Panda Express for Christmas. Thinking it was a school fundraiser spirit night or something coming up, I asked who she heard that from.  

"I don't know. I just know it."  

Ohhh. Then some realization set in. 

"Abigail? Are we taking a trip there on an airplane?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah, I think you mean panama."

Catching up

Well, since it's been something like ten days since I've written, here's a lame catchup post. 

I got the flu. I still have a sore throat and cough from it. Nothing super noticeable though. It just seems normal now. ; )

I turned 30. I went to breakfast at chick fil a with Brady and Elizabeth and then went to lunch at salt grass with Klaudette and Kelsey and the kids. Chris and the kids and I drove to Laramie in the snow and watched mark's hockey game. They won and it was great. 

Saturday in Laramie was a blast. We had an awesome breakfast, hung out (me and Elizabeth)/ swam (everyone else) at the pool, saw the peanuts movie, ate lunch at mccallister's (or something like that... Panara-ish place), watched the byu football game in the hotel lobby, and went to marks other hockey game. They were losing badly and we left after the second period. We survived a white knuckle drive for the first 40 minutes with crazy blowing snow and the rest of the drive was fine. Got home around midnight and crashed. 

Sunday- so so so so so crazy tired. Sang in the choir, Elizabeth had another doll assail blowout during sacrament meeting, church was great, RS was awesome (Tracie taught on being grateful for miracles or something), chris had visits, I napped, I went to an emergency prep fireside, got kids to bed, and did five loads of laundry, cleaned, and packed until 5:30am. Brady woke up sometime in there and maybe Elizabeth? I can't remember. I was exhausted beyond belief and stumbled around in a daze. Got Abigail to school, Klaudette came to tend kids while I helped in Abigail's classroom. I realized I forgot to pack her a snack and apologized. She forgave me. Came home and Klaudette had changed Elizabeth's leaked out diaper. Whoops, thanks. I guess I should have changed that during the night. I kept trying to pack and realized that all the kids clothes I had laid out for Abigail, she had put away thinking it was clean laundry and that she was helping me out. So frustrating but so sweet. She and Brady also put away all of his clothes too. Kept frantically packing and getting everything ready. It's so much harder to pack during wintertime than summer. Also hard to be doing laundry (because I had to throw in another load) and pack instead of packing when everything is already clean and put away. 

Eventually we left for the airport. I was having so much travel and packing anxiety, I had horribly sweaty hands and was taking deep breaths the whole drive. Also almost started crying. Still not sure why it was so bad, but when we were almost there, our flight got delayed and I felt at ease. Also, Abigail wheeled Chris's bag the whole way from the car to the counter. She was that extra set of hands that we needed and offered without being asked. It was such a huge blessing and answer to my prayers. 

The airport was super empty like it was when we flew last year for thanksgiving. Our flight took off an hour late. The kids were all perfect on the flight. Super easy. We got in late. 12:30 maybe? Waited for our bags forever. Got home late. Slept in on Tuesday and then mom was looking at nursing homes. Afternoon was hanging out a bit. Chris took Marta downtown to join dad for the dikembe mutumbo reception and mom and the kids and I walked around the block. We ate and then left for the gardens. We drove two cars on fun back roads and neighborhoods and arrived at the same one as Walter and Liza. All of us started the fun with lights at the gardens and dad and chris joined later. It was wonderful weather. Crowded, but so fun. Got home late. Abigail crashed but Brady was wide awake until 12:30 or so? He wasn't tired or in the mood to sleep. Crazy kid. 

Brady woke up around 8:30. I woke up around 9:30, and Abigail slept until almost noon. Literally 11:50. Ha. All day was mom and dad on phone calls with the hospital doctors, social workers, hospice care, nursing home reps, etc. set up hospice care for papa as we were just told this morning to expect two to three weeks or less. I'm so glad to be here in Atlanta right now and that I didn't wait until Christmas to come. I'll see papa and granny when I go to the farm this weekend. 

Dad made the quick decision to go to the farm to help care for and transition papa and granny. It stole my heart how he recognized a need and jumped into action so quickly. He has his family gathered for thanksgiving and he left it all at the drop of a hat to care for his elderly in laws. Abigail cried when she hugged dad goodbye because she just wanted him to stay. It broke my heart but I told dad it just means that he needs to come visit us soon. ; ) Chris took the kids to the airport park this afternoon for a bit. Liza and the kids came over. Kids all played. Walter and bekah and the boys came over. We all hung out and ate dinner and made ice cream. It's not the thanksgiving I'd imagined at all. Not carefree. Not roasting marshmallows in the backyard or drinking dad's wassail and eating popcorn while we all gather in the den to play games. But we're spending time together, we're figuring out what is best for papa and granny, and we're all enjoying being with one another. On that note, I can never get enough of being with my mother. It's a good thing I met chris and got married, because otherwise, I'd totally be that thirty year old living with her parents. I just love it here and even tonight, I kept going back to talk to mom. Eventually she told me to go to bed because she wanted to get to sleep. Whoops. ; ) 

Tomorrow is thanksgiving! How did that happen already?!  Elizabeth will be six months old on Saturday. How did that happen already too?! Papa is 95 and finishing out his time with us. How did that happen already?!  

Everything is so wonderful but so fast. I'm just trying to soak it up before it passes me by. It's a struggle but I guess we just do the best we can. 

But seriously. Super speed. Everything is always in super speed. Which is a good thing when I can't wait to get to the farm! 

Give or take

The original forecast a few days said it would snow on Thursday. Then it changed and said it would be sunny on Thursday but that it would snow on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday... Y'know, every day EXCEPT Thursday. And now, it says it will only snow on Saturday. So, should we recap? It'll snow basically every day next week except that it won't actually snow. 

Maybe I'll follow up and tell you if anything actually happened. 

When I went from sore throat to almost dead

Friday 11.13.15

Both kids got up bright and early. My Thursday morning sore throat was much worse than the previous morning, but still doable. The kids had time to play trains a bit before breakfast. Still, no kid has said a thing about the rest of their toys disappearing (to the basement). They do say, however, "do we have time to play trains more before bed?" and "if we hurry in the morning, can we play trains before it's time to go to school?!"

Sibling bonding. 

Brady said he wanted to play with Marshall again. So Marshall came over at ten. He's the youngest in his family and is intrigued by Elizabeth. "Where's the baby?!" 

I started going downhill with feeling sick. My whole body got achey and I started experiencing the chills. We needed to get out of the house. I needed the kids to be in an environment where they could be completely independent of me. We dropped Marshall at his house on the way to the library and then I died.  At 2:30.  I couldn't believe it was still so early in the day. Going downhill super fast. So cold. So achey. My ankles were even sore. 

When we got home, I gave Abigail and Brady leftover pasta and put frozen on. And then I climbed in bed. With Elizabeth. Pictures are deceiving. Because I wasn't feeling smiley. I think I was smiling at Elizabeth's reaction to seeing her fact in the front camera. Brady has low attention span to tv that isn't sports. Also, he's like a magnet for me. And for Elizabeth. And especially for the two of us together. 

Honey finally got home sometime after six and fed the kids more. Meanwhile Elizabeth put herself to sleep because she was getting ignored. 

I helped put kids to bed. After spending 20 minutes giving myself a pep talk. Finally I took Elizabeth to bed. I think I was asleep by 8:30.  Brady was awake (for the first time) by 9. He woke up and/or snuck into our bed so many times I lost count. Elizabeth usually wakes up once, but this time woke up none. I had the craziest dreams, was so horribly achey, and alternated between freezing cold and burning lava hot. One of the times, I woke up and realized I was soaked and had sweated through everything I was wearing. I stripped down and got dry clothes and climbed back into bed only to discover that all my sheets were also wet and cold. Thank goodness for our king bed that I had room to sleep with honey on his side. Brady was awake by six. And both kids and me by 7.

Hooray!  

Free cafe rio

Saturday 11.14.15

After our less than restful night, I stayed in bed until 1:30 pm, only getting out briefly to pump a bottle (she only ate one side because she slept all night... That's why I actually like that she still wakes up once) and carry Elizabeth upstairs to put her in her crib. Seriously, I couldn't make myself get out of bed. Even though I was feeling improved from the night before. 

Honey delivered this sweet little bundle to me and  then took Abigail and Brady to breakfast at kneaders with some friends of ours. 

Abigail's hair is so fine that it tangles like a spool of thread. Suggestions? I only bathe the kids once a week so my favorite hairstyle for Abigail is the messy bun. It's quick and easy and Abigail loves that we don't have to painfully brush out her hair. 

As a result, she growing one crazy dredlock out of the top of her head. I tackled part of this mess before finally giving her another messy bun and sending her off to breakfast. ; ) 

Oh, there you are. I forgot you were still here. I should probably unswaddle you now. 

Honey took the kids to sports authority, aka "the golf store" and Brady loved it but hated coming home. He emptied this colander of food toys by saying "here's some cheese" and flinging the cheese at Chris's head, and on and on. I thought it was hilarious. 

I took this picture when I walked past their room. Well Abigail's room but they both sleep there. It looks like a quilt made of books. Also, Abigail's diaper leaked out on her bed but I felt too sick to wash her sheets and do laundry so I had the brilliant idea to have her sleep on the crib mattress and move Brady to the sofa. With a fitted mattress pad and crib sheet. It works well. 

My friend Sarah is cheaper than I am. She alerted everyone in our ward fb group of free cafe rio (a meal for you and a guest) for the first 250 people that signed up. I signed up for two so we wouldn't have to share ours with the kids (pork burrito for them). It was delish. Not as good as costa vida, but still great. Woohoo for celebrating the grand opening of cafe rio in castle rock! 

Abigail was so cute when she was making Elizabeth laugh. 

Brady was acting mostly normal but kinda sick and had a snotty nose. He was crying at dinner because his lips were so chapped he couldn't eat. The poor boy. Also, honey started on his spiraling downhill decent and felt horrible at cafe rio until his three ibuprofen and two DayQuil kicked in. He took two naps this morning before 1:30. Two. 

On our way home, honey and I were lamenting that it was only 3:39, which was not late enough for all of us to go to bed. We killed an hour at the park and actually enjoyed ourselves. Honey listened to his favorite songs on repeat and I talked to him, repeated everything ("I got the gist of what you were saying..." "No, you didn't. If you got the gist, you would have known that I bought them.") three times, and watched our kids and their little mannerisms. It was great. Also, we played this game where we swing our kids in the baby swings and then honey throws snowballs at them while I record it all on video. See that one headed for Abigail? 

Sliding down the slide. They do everything together. 

Also, have I mentioned before that I feel like I have twins? It's like Abigail and Brady are the same age. All day, every day, I think to myself "it's like they're twins!" Which is crazy because they are 2.5 years apart. In Abigail's defense, I do think Brady seems advanced for his age in terms of... most everything. 

See that snowball in the sky? 

We came home and had some hot chocolate. And all five of us hung out in bed before we headed upstairs for the night. 

Also, Brady woke up with the goopiest eye today. So much thick, green, goop stuck in his eyelashes that he couldn't open that left eye. No signs of redness and my research online told me this. What did people do before the Internet? Would I have been clueless and forced to take my kid to the doctor? 

All kids were asleep by 6:45 or so. It's 9:15 right now and Brady has already woken up three times, crying inconsolably. I gave him painkiller (which he screamed about) and wiped his nose and eye. I also held his hand while he fell asleep.  This always takes me back to summer/fall 2014 when I did that for every map and at bedtime. 

So, in summary, I still feel horrible, but honey has the man flu and "doesn't want to get the kids sick", so I'm probably gonna just be loving life for the next 48 hours or so. ; ) 

In honey's defense, I think he genuinely just doesn't understand the role of being a mom and caring for the sick while being sick and the details of how all of that works. Also, I know he's going to suck it up tomorrow and go to church and do the million things he has to sowing out even appearing sick because that's just the kind of person he is. 

I'll say home with Brady and Elizabeth and try to steal a nap somewhere in there.