Squash quinoa

This morning I heard Brady coming down the stairs. Since he saw I was awake, he came to snuggle me instead of smuggling food from our kitchen. 

I went to grab some socks and he was all "yeah, I need some socks too!" and next thing I knew, this was happening. It only lasted for a bit though until he realized he wanted different socks. My colorful striped ankle socks from yesterday.  

Elizabeth woke up to eat around 6:30 this morning. She woke up several times during the morning, but thankfully kept putting herself back to sleep. After we dropped Abigail off at school, I had vaccuming and sweeping and mopping and stuff that I needed to do before my visiting teaching meeting. That went from 10 to noon and thankfully Elizabeth didn't  really wake up til 11:45. I sent Brady up to keep her company while we finished our meeting and then ran up to grab her so we could get Abigail at 12:10. Brady had pushed re tiny rocking chair over so he could reach high enough to turn on the light and then he got her a bunch of toys. He also said that he sang her songs. He is seriously the most adoring big brother ever. Words can't even scratch the surface of his love for her. Also, she totally busted out of her swaddle and leaked out of her diaper. I'll take it though since she was in her crib for 15ish hours with only the one feeding. 

We got Abigail and came home for lunch. Quesadillas. Brady barely ate any of his but it was hitting the spot for Abigail and me so we had no problem polishing everything off. And then we headed to the library. We had to grab books and movies and CDs that needed to be returned though. And in the meantime, Elizabeth got tired of waiting and fell asleep. Ha. 

We got there around 1:30 so the rush was over and we had the place to ourselves. This was the first time we'd seen the car mat and the kids loved playing with it. Brady also loved looking at the sport illustrated kids magazines that had basketball on them. He wore his basketball shirt today. 

They kept wanting to play matching games on the computer. Luckily Abigail knew how to do that for them. 

Such a happy baby. She smiles and laughs so easily. Just making eye contact sends her into a fit of smiles. 

This guy is obsessed with baseball and golf. He trades off from day to day, but for the last few days he's been all about baseball. Always asking me to play baseball with him outside. And wore his new baseball jersey that we got from the Rockies store on Saturday. When he first put it on, he took off his shorts and then put on "sunday music" on the CD player so he could dance in his baseball dress. Poor guy. So confused these days. He obviously has boy interests, but is so influenced by only being around girls. I tried to help clear the confusion and now he knows it's a shirt called a jersey. 

We got home from the library around 3:30. I know we always spend too long but I'm always dragging the kids out because they never want to leave. Coming home I was all "okay, I'll turn on a movie, throw in a load of laundry, and get started on dinner... Even though it's only 3:30."  Well, good thing I started that all at 3:30, because everything takes forever these days. Brady and I sat down to eat dinner a little before 6. I had him asleep by 7pm. Around that time, Abigail peeked in and was asking for a snack. "I made dinner and its on the stove. Brady and I already ate, but you can carefully get some for yourself to eat."  She was all for it and after Brady fell asleep, I checked downstairs and she was gobbling it up. "Mom, I filled up the whole bowl to the top! I'm still eating."  So then I put Elizabeth to bed and came down to hang out with Abigail while she finished. 

And I thought to myself how grateful I was that both kids loved dinner so much. Neither raved that it was super amazing, but they both happily finished their bowls of it. Since I don't love cooking, it's always extra great when my kids don't whine and complain about dinner. I struggle when I go through the process of making food that no one wants to eat. 

Anyways, I didn't think it was the most amazing thing ever, but there was something really satisfying about it and I ended up eating three bowls myself. Which probably defeats the purpose of a healthy dinner. Whoops. 

Pretty good for just a random Google search of "squash quinoa."  I would have looked around more for a better recipe (because I always look at a million and then choose all the best parts and make up my own recipe) except that this one satisfied my desire for quinoa (anyone else looove the texture?!) and helped me use up the zucchini and squash in my fridge.  And I had all the ingredients and it was quick and EASY. The recipe is http://www.sewletscook.com/summer-squash-quinoa/ and the only changes I made were adding some diced onion and cooking the quinoa with a can of chicken broth instead of water. Anyway, this was a win. As I said, it doesn't taste amazing and indulgent, but there's something about it that's just satisfying and refreshing and making you want more. 

I need to start bribing this kid to stay in bed. Still doing the thing where sometimes he sneaks in bed with me, sometimes he cries as he tries to find me, sometimes just cries at the top of the stairs, and occasionally (my personal favorite) just goes to Abigail's room and falls asleep on her sofa. This was at 10:30 tonight when I was cleaning the kitchen and heard him wake up. I try to capture how adorable it is when he's stumbling and squinting and stuttering with his bed head and twisted up pjs... But it can never be captured. The pictures just look nothing like the real thing. But at least it will prompt my memory. It is one of the cutest things I witness. Baby giggles are sweet, but this melts my heart and gives me butterflies. 

Also, this one can never seem to stay on her bed. We did well today. We were friends today. She was my buddy. And she was kind and cute and sweet and everything great that a five year old should be. I don't feel that way every day, so I'm extra grateful when I do. We read lots of books before bed. Also, for my own record, I brought back the starbursts. I knew I should do this but was too stubborn and prideful until I called my parents for advice. Dad gave me lots of great advice. I took notes on my phone afterwards so I would remember it all. 

Dad also advised me to start taking alieve for my back. It seems like the disc pain I've been experiencing for the past two months is finally subsiding and I'm getting back into my just regular and typical normal day to day back pain and it's funny how excited I am about that. Blessed blessed relief. But I'm going to take the alieve and try to ice my back when I can to hopefully keep things in check. 

I feel so unproductive these days. I do a lot and I'm constantly busy, but there's always still so much to do. And with kids always needing things, normal stuff like laundry and dinner and dishes just seems to take forever. I keep hoping that someday I'll get my act together. In the meantime, I'm just appreciating the ride. 

The day Brady could have died

Brady keeps me on my toes.  Well, actually, I'm not on my toes at all. I guess Brady just highlights that I don't have my act together at all. Abigail never did this crap as a two year old, but Brady is a whole different animal. I see the stuff he gets into and all I can think is "the world is your oyster, kid. Nothing is off limits to you."  Since he sleeps in a bed now, I think he wakes up for the day around 7... But who really knows because I don't wake up til 8. But when I walk into the kitchen I see a chair pushed to the counter and I know that Brady has been there. Like this morning. But there was nothing in the kitchen... He'd already taken a huge box of graham crackers up to Abigail'a room. A few days ago, I woke up and walked around to make the bed and noticed that there was pen drawn all over the fitted sheet on the other side of the bed. I didn't notice it when I made the bed the day before so I'm pretty sure it happened that morning after honey went to work but before is woken up for the day. Also the other day, we were hanging out in the great room as a family when I noticed that Brady wasn't with us. So I panicked... Because I know enough to know that's never a good thing. I yelled to him and he came out of my bedroom. He likes to get into stuff in my bathroom (which is why everything is currently on my countertops instead of in my drawers and cabinets). As he walked out Abigail was all "mom, did you paint Brady's nails?"  Umm nope, but I guess now we know what he's been doing for the last five minutes. 

Anyways, the kid is a handful. I'll frequently find him wandering around the house with a can of Pringles or an empty ice cream cone. If I leave him alone in the kitchen, he goes for the lasagna noodles and so I find shards of those on the floor. Tonight at dinner, instead of eating, he picked up his peas one by one, piped them, and threw them all over the floor. Alllll over the floor.  We have to keep toothbrushes and toothpaste on the top shelf of the bathroom closet now and I've hidden (as best I can) pens and markers on top of our refrigerator. He turns on the tv with the remote and takes pictures with my phone after he's turned on the flashlight, turned off the wifi, and put it in airplane mode, maybe also setting an alarm or two and the timer. And he doesn't nap anymore since he's in a bed now. So I don't have that three hour chunk of time in the afternoon anymore. It's just a whole lot of sleep deprived Brady wandering around for 12-13 hours a day. 

Anyways, Sunday morning I woke up to my alarm. Emmy had texted me something about beautiful piano music blasting through her home and sunshine pouring in and basically it was just the most peaceful thing ever. I heard aniGil and Brady upstairs playing and laughing and squealing and yelling... Along with the typical banging and clanging and crashing of toys and miniature bodies doing who knows what. I texted back something about "me too. So peaceful over here."  Then I tried to close my eyes for a minute more because I was exhausted. Brady had been up at least twice during the night and I had gotten up with Elizabeth around 5:30 maybe. And I hadn't even gone to sleep til super later anyway. So yeah, trying to at least ease in to the waking up thing. Then I hear Brady screaming and crying. This is normal. I can't even emphasize how typical this is. I assumed that he was being obnoxious and and Abigail probably hit him or bit him. I did my usual thing and waited. No matter where I am, if Brady is crying, he sniffs me out like a bloodhound. He will always find me if he is in any sort of distress. So he comes down the stairs screaming and into my room. Abigail follows down a minute later. Since Brady is still screaming too hard for me to figure out what happened, I ask Abigail. Normal the answer begins with "well Brady..." And then includes some sort about Brady being obnoxious and Abigail physically beating him up. Well then you can imagine my surprise when the first words out of her mouth were "Brady just fell out on the roof."

What the heck?!?!  So of course I ran up to her room. The screen was in place because Abigail fixed it already, but apparently the right half of the screen popped out and Brady slipped through. It's hard to know exactly what happened because I'm getting my facts from a five year old and a two year old, but it sounds like Brady was standing on the room a little ways out and they are both very clear that he climbed back in. Thank goodness there was roof right there. And that it wasn't steep roof. And that, even though it's only a couple of feet, it was enough that Brady didn't just roll or slide off. Christopher was at ward council so he wasn't around for this but I was super freaked out. Eventually we went to church for wars conference. The sacrament meeting testimonies centered around miracles. Kind of like the one that had just happened at the Hillier home that morning when my two year old fell out of a window but managed not to fall off the roof and tumble one story down into some dirt and rocks. 

All of ward conference was excellent. I felt like it was just for me. From recognizing miracles to repentance and forgiveness. I was overwhelmed with the attention I was receiving in that way. 

After church we ate and then I had to take a nap. I was so exhausted and, while church was just what I needed, it was mentally and emotionally exhausting in that way and I needed to sleep. I napped for a few hours and woke up feeling so much better. Honey had played with the kids. Then he got them dinner and put them to bed. I somewhat helped a little bit mostly let him do it. He's good at knowing when I need a break. Also good at paying it forward when he's going to be out of town. Getting in his time with the kids and giving me a break so I can start fresh when he's gone. 

It was a really great Sunday. But probably the greatest part is that Brady only fell out of a window and not off of the roof. I'm hoping that eventually I can be less freaked out by this and more "oh HA HA, Brady, remember when you were two and you and Abigail were playing a mattress sliding game with her mattress propped up on the loveseat and "YOU FELL OUT OF THE WINDOW?!  Yes, that was funny." And then we'll tell other stories about he drew on our sheets and painted his nails and took credit cards out of our wallets and ate mass amounts of cookies before 8am and is obsessed with sports but always asks for "spray" and sunscreen because he loves perfume and lotion. 

Words can't express how funny he is. He is hilarious and intelligent and ambitious. He's super articulate and creative and compassionate. He makes me feel like a disheveled mess of a mother, but I love him to pieces. 

Lots of little pieces that resemble smashed peas tossed on my kitchen floor. 

Took too long

Monday 8.17.15

Brady has always reminded me of a dog. He runs and walks like a puppy and his face lights up like a puppy, and he's inquisitive and naughty like a puppy. But this morning... He reminded me of a cat. He just recently learned of these warm, bright spots on our floor and calls them "the hot."  "Mom, I wanna lay in the hot?"  That's how he asks most questions. He knows he's supposed to address me and he knows he's supposed to inflect his voice like a question, but he doesn't quite grasp yet how to switch up the words. It's so cute though. 

His love for Elizabeth knows no bounds. I can get him to do most anything I want by linking it to Elizabeth. "Brady, Elizabeth wants you to throw away her diaper for her/clean up your toys/put on your shoes so we can leave/use your inside voice because that yelling is too loud..." and on and on. I try not to take advantage of that too much, and I dread when he finally realizes that Elizabeth probably doesn't care if he cleans up his toys, but in the mean time... it's a great thing to have in my back pocket whenever he doesn't listen the first three times.  

Ironically, I was laughing about this picture I found scrolling through facebook while I was laying on a blanket outside and when I looked down, at least two or three tiny spiders were crawling all over my blanket. Ha. In the moment, I really did care that they were tiny and I was grateful for it! 

I needed a break from Brady. He consumes my days and my nights and is so demanding of my time and attention. I told him I needed five minutes of alone time. So I went to play the piano and I played one song just one time. And when I came out, Brady had gotten into my lasagna noodles again. Seriously kid? PLAY WITH TOYS!!!  Why is that such a strange concept to my kids?!  I mean, toys, that's why we have them. 

Also, food is for eating. Abigail will whine about how hungry she is but then just play at the table instead of eating. This time I told her to clean up while I made food. Well it took me two minutes but it took her about 45 minutes. Then the kids finally sat down to eat and they just giggle and play the whole time. Brady ate too and was done with his whole plate and Abigail's plate still looked barely touched. Except for the fork and napkin part...  That was at least another 45 minutes. Those nasty looking avocados? They were green when I cut them. I finally just took her plate away and send them to bed. 

I had Brady asleep by 7 and then Abigail was still procrastinating cleaning her room because she wanted to read books with me. But she can only read books when there's enough time so that didn't make sense. She took over an hour to finally clean up her room (which could have taken between 1 and 3 minutes. So, at 4:30, Abigail said she was hungry and wanted to eat and I told her to pick up toys while I got dinner on a plate for her. And she wasn't actually in bed til 9:00 or something? I'm no expert, but that's a little long for how little we attempted to accomplish. 

After kids were asleep, I used this Melissa and Doug toy box to straighten up this drawer. Why make a toy organizer with no lid?  Oh well. 

Sunday socks and sleepiness

8.16.15

Sometimes I wake up and check my camera roll just for fun. Just to see what Brady may have photographed while I was sleeping. Like this picture of Elizabeth on her monitor. 

Presley is always wearing socks and ballet flats. I texted this picture to Stephanie and told her that I blamed Presley's trendsetting ways for Abigail requesting to wear this getup to church. I convinced her that her sparkly sandals would be a better choice. 

Brady stole my phone during church. Christopher was feeling sick to his stomach so he stayed home and I left sleeping Elizabeth with him. After all the trouble she gave the babysitter, she slept for over ten hours and then, because I was tired and have a cold, I fed her and out her back to sleep at 7:30am. When I came home at 12:30 after sacrament meeting, Christopher and Elizabeth were both asleep in their own beds and I had to wake her up. Seriously kid, you're such a great sleeper and you couldn't do any of that for your very first babysitter?!  Maybe next time. 

Anyway, sacrament was just me and Abigail and Brady and so we sat on the second row of the overflow. Same spot as last time when I was pregnant and honey was out of town and I almost cited during the whole three hours of church thankfully this was not a repeat of that. The speakers were great, especially lee wright. I just loved it. 

Brady is so sleep deprived these days. I mean, I am too, but all day long he's burrowing into me and then rolling around on my lap like a rotisserie chicken just trying to get comfortable. I wish he would just go back to sleeping so he's not such a hot mess 24/7. Anyways, he started falling asleep on me at like 5:15 so I had to wake him up. 

It's his own fault though. Anyone have any tips? He can't handle being alone in his bed. He needs me to be there when he falls asleep at night, and all of the times he wakes up during the night. I'm not a fan but I'm trying to be compassionate. But seriously, he went from 16ish hours of sleep per 24 hour period to around 10 hours of very broken sleep. It's taking a toll on him. He's about as emotionally stable as a pogo stick   And considering he's a two year old that has always been really needy and high maintenance, this isn't great. 

I'm actually sitting by him at this very moment. Because he was so exhausted that I put him to bed at 7pm and the he woke up at 11 crying for me. I expect him to do this at least four more times tonight. He's trying to kill me. Very slowly. 

You know who else used to be killing me (and maybe still is) slowly? Elizabeth. The girl still won't take a binky. I've only been trying allll the time since she was two days old. I'm getting over it though. She'll semi chew on it and honestly, she's so happy that she doesn't need one. The real problem is that she's sooo finicky with taking a bottle. I started giving her a bottle when she was 8 (I think) days old. She took it fine. I mean, that's pretty normal because newborns normally take a bottle, regular infants are iffy, but brand new babies take bottles... They don't know any better. So then I kept giving her a bottle every five days. And it was always just "fine" and never "fantastic."  But being an optimist, I assumed it would keep getting better and more regular. Not the case. Sometimes she's need a lot of encouragement, sometimes she wouldn't. Sometimes it could be freshly pumped, sometimes it had to be hotter than fresh, and sometimes it could be room temperature. There was no pattern, but as time went on, there were increasing instances where she would just never latch and after a million attempts, I'd just throw out the milk and try again in a few days. Last week I tried a time or two and she wouldn't take it. Saturday afternoon I tried desperately for 45 minutes to get her to latch. She wouldn't. It took that long to get her to drink a half an ounce. And most of that was probably what I squirted into her mouth, the rest was from her biting on the bottle, never sucking it. So, that night, I picked up our little twelve year old babysitter (who has never babysat for us before) and informed her that I'd be leaving her with a five year old, a clingy two year old, and a newborn that doesn't take a bottle. Ha. 

I won't lie, my night out was stressful. I'm glad I did it, even though I kept repeating in my head "this isn't worth it... This soooo isn't worth it."  It's hard to get out. It's so much work to prep the house and the kids and everything for a babysitter to come and put them to bed. Luckily abigail and Brady did well (Brady was weepy when I brought the babysitter inside to show her around, but then stRted playing with her and never noticed us leave and never cared even later), but Elizabeth woke up after less than an hour and a half. 

Baseball Saturday

We were all up before 8 this morning. Abigail and Brady played upstairs. Eventually honey made waffles while I put Elizabeth down for her morning nap. Honey left for his softball tournament that started at 10 and we were going to follow right behind him. Except that Abigail took forever to clean her room (because instead of taking two minutes to clean it, she procrastinates for an hour and then takes two minutes to clean it) and Brady cuddled and fell asleep next to me on the sofa. So honeys team lost their first game so their second was at 11. That meant that I woke up Brady and Elizabeth and pulled Abigail from her room (where she was playing quietly by herself because that's what she does when she's procrastinating) and it was painful for me. 

But we all went to the game and it was great. Abigail and Brady hung out in the dugout with Christopher. They won their game. Elizabeth was angelic as usual and hung out in her car seat the whole time (wide awake, but it was too sunny for me to hold her) thank goodness. Instead of staying for the 1 o'clock game, the kids and I headed home. 

We hung out and I called mom. I can't get enough of talking to her. It brings me so much joy and comfort even though I think I bore her to tears and waste her time. I'm thankful she puts up with me so politely. Eventually honey came home. I put Elizabeth down for a nap at 2:30 and as I came downstairs, honey was all "so what's the plan? What do you want to do?" And we decided to go spend our Rockies money (it comes with the season tickets and can only be used on concessions and Rockies gear at certain stores... So we end up buying a lot of Rockies clothes even though we're not actually real fans) and walk around the temple grounds. As we started walking towards the temple I asked Abigail "do you know what we do at the temple?" wondering if she would say "get married."  She's all "well, we don't poop in our undies at the temple."  

Correct.  That, among other things. 

And then we went to hacienda Colorado to use a gift card we've had forever. I've had in my head that I don't like hacienda, but honestly, I enjoyed eating there tonight. I liked the outdoor area where we ate and I liked the chips and salsa and the server was great and our food was really good. We had the kids share a $4 kid burrito and it was huge. Like at least as big or bigger than our adult entrees. Rice and beans and queso and everything too. So that was great because both kids were all "I LOVE IT!!!" And downed it. Seriously. Check out Abigail's plate. 

His hands. So cute. He didn't like touching the cold. 

Also, so smoky and hazy. Honey and I were talking about it on the way home, so it was funny when I opened up my weather app and it said this (while it was still trying to figure out that I was back in Parker and not in englewood anymore). Not sunny or cloudy or rainy. Just "smoke."  

And honey out the kids to bed yet again (because I keep running out of my patience and energy by 6:30 or so) while I put Elizabeth down and took a shower. 

Hoping tonight includes a whole lot of restful sleep and not a whole lot of Brady. ; ) 

Powder laundry detergent

Because I don't want just a little bit or a whole ton and I can never remember what I did last time to make the right amount. Here's what I'd like to try for next time! 

2 bars fels-naptha

3-4 cups washing soda

3-4 cups baking soda

3-4 cups borax

1 cup oxiclean

Will hopefully perfectly add up to a full can of powder! 

The real reason I blog

It's because my blog is my very favorite blog to read. And if I don't write it, I can't read it. 

There, I said it. 

Elizabeth's appt and the pool

This guy was first up this morning. He was all "there you are, mom!"  Ha. 

Apparently tangled runs in the family. Or at least nappy. 

"Thank you do my pockets mom" ...or something like that. I love when he says thank you and sorry (normally when he's accidentally bonked someone in his craziness) without any prompting. 

We took Abigail to school and he whined the whole way home (as he has done every day so far). I got a video but can't post it from my phone. It's just "I want my Abigail" on repeat in a few different forms. We made a smoothie and hung out a bit before it was time to take Elizabeth to her appointment. Brady and Abigail love peeling the bananas for my smoothies but Brady didn't like this morning that they were cold. Why have I never thought to put my smoothie bananas in the fridge so they're cold when I need them?!  He was so cute. 

Of course he was super excited to take Elizabeth to her appointment. Also super into everything while we were there. I had a concerned parent in the waiting area tell me that he's pulled out the outlet cover and was trying to stick it back in the outlet. I pretended to act proactive until he was called back. 

When it was our turn, Brady was climbing all over, spinning in the chair, pounding on the computer keyboard, rolling around on the table with that paper stuff, and then literally throwing the printouts they gave me all over the room. 

And Elizabeth was just doing her thing. Pure sweetness. The sad news is that I've suspected for a few days that she might have reflux and, after I talked to the doctor, she also agreed. Now I'm torn about medicating her. I hate to give her medicine when she doesn't seem super bothered by it, but it is getting in the way of her taking a full feeling and, even though she's not screaming about it, that doesn't mean she's not bothered and experiencing discomfort and pain. Looking back on it, I think Abigail also had reflux. Also didn't cry, but the fact that both of us were a hot mess after most every feeding...  She would squirm and kick and arch her back and be so frantic and sometimes only nurse for ten seconds a side before she would refuse. Elizabeth nurses longer than that, but frequently won't finish the first side and then either refuses the second side completely or will only nurse for a minute. I'm going to give it a week and then email the doctor if I want her to prescribe some medicine. Also, she occasionally does the arm thing that Brady used to do... Which we found out was from his severe reflux. So... we'll see how this all plays out. 

And more pictures of Brady's antics. 

Elizabeth is something like 96th percentile for her height. Maybe I'll get around to a formal 2 month post for her. Her weight was 11lbs and 1.5 ounces... a little about 20th. Technically, she's 2.5 months right now....

We stopped by Walmart for milk on our way back. We did our shopping on Tuesday but there was literally no skim milk. They must have missed a delivery or something because the entire store was stocked of everything... Except skim milk. So today we ran in and I just bee lined it to the milk and had the cashier ring up six gallons and we were off. Brady almost fell asleep on the way to Abigail's school but I kept him awake. Ha. 

We went to the pool at 1 with Jodi and Elle and Traci and Emma and Charbel and her two boys. Our four little kindergarteners are all in the same class. Once they left, my two were bored. We stayed a bit longer and headed home. 

I won't lie... I was a bit bored too. Hence a million pictures of Elizabeth. Because I'm so in love with her. She had a blowout while we were there and several bouts of fussiness and all out cried for several minutes as we were packing up to leave. As chris said this evening "why is she just getting reflux now?!" 

Brady kept kicking and splashing so much that he would continually fuss about it. Which was funny because he was the one doing it to himself. 

And Abigail was ready to go home. The weather was so wonderfully pleasant for Elizabeth and me, especially under our umbrella. But I think with the wind, it felt really cold for Abigail. 

The rest of the night was just whatever.  The kids were in bed by 8 and I had Christopher sit with Brady while I talked to Abigail for over half an hour. I need to make that an every night thing. We need that for our relationship right now. Also, I think it's really helping her memory and getting her more willing and confident at recalling information. 

Let's hope tonight that Brady does better than last night. I went to bed after 1, Brady was up constantly between 2:30 and 5:30, and Elizabeth was up at 6:30 to eat and then Brady came downstairs by 8. I should have gone to bed two hours ago but I have such a hard time winding down. Did I ever mention that unisom is not approved for nursing mothers?  I was sooooo sad when I discovered that. I'm gonna need to look into other sleeping pill options.