zero self discipline

i know i have zero self discipline when it comes to most things in life.  i've never been one to exercise, eat healthy, shower when i don't feel like it, wear grown up makeup, etc.  don't get me wrong, i can do hard things... but having the desire is absolutely essential.

so anyways, tonight i just spent the entire evening doing things NOT on my huge list of "things to do" and while i feel like a failure, i also don't know that i would do things differently if i had to do it again.

but really, on one count i did not fail.  chris and i ate dinner at a friend's house.  after two plates of food i was still hungry but embarrassed to ask for THIRDS on everything.  so naturally, 10 minutes later when we got home i'm thinking... i'm still hungry, what can i eat?  well first i decided to wait a little bit so see if it went away.  when it didn't i decided on something small, like cereal.  and even then i decided to hold out as long as i could.  although i distractedly ate a cookie (chris must have brought it home because i have no idea how else it would have gotten here!) dipped in milk of course, and it was worth every bite.  why finally exercise self control in this area of my life while i'm pregnant when i've never bothered to limit myself before? 

not entirely sure but i'm gonna go with it!