30 weeks

How far along: 30 weeks  (5.1.10)

Total weight gain/loss: +17 lbs  ...still

Maternity clothes?: suprisingly good week finding things to wear.  so much easier to be on time to work when the first outfit fits as opposed to the fourth.

Stretch marks?: left hip is grossly disfigured.  right hip is still virgin to stretch marks.  come on... stay beautiful!  just kidding.  i give my right hip one more week.

Sleep: i don't feel like i every actually go to sleep.  i feel like i'm just watching myself sleep.  or like i'm daydreaming.  i'm totally conscious of everytime during the night that chris or i move.  it's weird.  and it leaves me very tired.  assortment of dreams this week.  sunday morning i woke up after having a traumatizing night.  i went from being inadequate at scrapbooking (i know this is true in real life but in my dream i was with the other girls in my RS and it was highly embarassing), to escaping a natural disaster at church, to being chased by soldiers and getting thrown in a concentration camp.  two nights ago i had a serious of dreams where i was always in really nice buildings and ritzy venues.  i had one dream that i went into labor and it was so easy and fun and the doctors and everyone were all joking and we were celebrating that we'd get to meet our kid early and everything and then the doctors checked for a heartbeat and couldn't find it and i started to cry and my baby came out dead and blue (literally blue like that girl in willy wonka) and i fell to the floor in hysterics.  but then i had a semi followup dream that that dream was a dream in a dream.  i dunno, it was all very confusing.  and good thing my doctor said i'm fine to sleep/lay on my back.  sometimes if i fall asleep for too long on my side i wake up with pretty intense aching in my hips.  what's that from?  just all the extra weight?  i am still counting my blessings that i can sleep through the night without needed to get up to go to the bathroom.  i LOVE that.

Best moment this week: i dunno.  it was all pretty good!  had a fun night with friends.  work was really good the past couple of days.  the weather has been pretty good.  hmm, i gotta say just hanging out with my honey.  he's been pretty funny this week.  he takes care of me and makes sure that i get a good laugh in. 

Movement:  this kid sure is squirmy.  i feel like i have worms in my stomach.  sometimes it's so uncomfortable and tickles really bad.  especially low by my hips and far to my sides.  it makes me squirm and sometimes i can't help it!  i think my favorite is when she lodges her knee or foot or something in me where i can see and feel it sticking out.  and then i can kinda guide her to a new position.  i dunno why i like it so much.  that's a weird thing to love.  one of my dreams even related to it.  i was looking in the mirror at the doctor's office when i saw the outline of my kid's arm and then head and then it was like her whole body was just hanging off the side of my stomach and i could see it clearly.  so my doctor decided to make a painless cut up my side and just grab the baby out since clearly she wanted to be out early anyways.  ha, that would be funny if birth really happened like that.  it took all of four seconds and didn't even hurt!  and my baby came out clean too... didn't need a bath or anything!

Food cravings:  FRUIT.  holy cow it hits the spot.  juicy and sweet and cool and healthy.  grapes, strawberries, blueberries, blackberries, asian pears, mango, pineapple, watermelon.  mmm.  other than that, i can easily forget to eat.  not too munchy.  and i can go long periods of time without getting hungry!  i love not being so dependent on food!

Gender: GIRL!!!  so so so happy for a girl!

What I miss: nothing.  i'm just sad about how fast this pregnancy is going by.  i'm loving it so much.  i'm totally content with being 30 weeks pregnant.

Theme:  the week of only TEN weeks to go!  holy cow!
Extra:  this week was really good overall.  i had a breakdown the other night that started because i was overwhelmed with stroller options.  chris asked me to tell him my other concerns and so we both had a good laugh about some of those (they are always pretty ridiculous) and then he tucked me in to bed and helped me fall asleep.  his support has really helped me magnify the good of this week.  i was especially thankful for that the other day when my doctor called twice and left two very concerned voicemails letting me know she was just checking up on me to make sure i was doing okay.  she also wrote me an email (this is all within the space of about six hours) voicing the same concerns and giving me the psychiatrist/therapy phone number again.  i was happy to write back and be able to honestly (and confidently) tell her that i was having a really good week and that although i know i've been really emotional and up and down with pregnancy lately, i feel confident that i can handle it all without medication and professional help and that i really appreciate her concern.  so here's another random pregnancy thing.  friday i fell down.  i can't even remember the last time i fell down.  probably at least two years ago at byu when i used to try to walk down steep sidewalks covered in several inches of solid ice.  but today i fell down and there was no ice in sight.  i was at work and i had run inside to grab a bag of dried fruit since we were on our way to the park and i thought the boys might get hungry while we were there.  on my way out the back door (we never ever go out the back door except for this one time) i turned around after shutting the sliding door and i guess i tripped on my flip flop or my jeans or something but i fell face forward down two stairs (they JUST got a new patio put in and it has a little landing outside the door and a step or two down the patio area... make sense?  probably not) and oh my goodness it hurt!  kids fall down all the time and now i know why they cry!  my hands were scraped and bleeding.  they stung so so bad.  for at least twenty minutes too!  i got cuts on my toes on both feet that bled, my left ankle got scraped and bruised.  both knees were scraped and bruised, and my right shin has an ugly scrape and is puffy and going to bruise.  and on a completely superficial note, it scratched up my toe nail polish really badly and i'm not at all happy about it.  thank goodness though that i wasn't holding a kid (we would both be in really bad shape) and thank goodness i didn't hit my stomach.  i know my kid would have been fine but i would have been paranoid about it and i bet it wouldn't have felt nice.  this was all pretty traumatic for me.  honestly, it was.  and can i just say again, it was scary and it hurt real bad.