Thursday

This morning I woke up to honey inviting me to the temple. He knows just what I need. 

It was a cool, overcast day. I wore my bright orange sweater today to honor uncle Gary. 

This guy gave me a ton of much needed smiles. He is such a happy guy... Unless he sad. He still has very extreme emotions. And an awesome sense of humor. 

He destroyed the library today. All of the librarians know us but for some reason are still friendly despite Brady always pulling out ins of books and movies and then screaming and crying if another kid comes in his personal space. Kid isn't social. Apparently my first born got 200% of that gene and left none for Brady. 

We stopped by a playground for a bit on the way home. Abigail is always whining, "are we going home now?  ... But I don't want to go home!!!!"  I didn't want to go home either though so we killed some time. Abigail loves the baby swing and Brady loves the slide. It would be much more convenient if they could trade those likes for a little while. 

Abigail has been super sensitive the past three days. Crying about everything. Not in a disobedient way so much as just an emotionally unstable sort of way. I keep thinking "that's how I am when I'm pregnant."  She cries because her pants/skirt are too big/small. Because her "undies aren't ready."  Because "I took a bite and it was too small."  Because "my bowl is too big and I can't reach it to eat my oatmeal."  And on and on. And then on some more. But she has been so sweet and comforting to me as I've been sad and so today we just comforted each other. She is such a good friend to me. 

After the playground and another tantrum from Abigail about needing more milk for her oatmeal (and then that some of it spilled on the table so she needed even more milk and needed a napkin to clean the table), I lost my patience with her. Then I put Brady down for a nap and climbed in my bed. Abigail came to me shortly after and just hugged me. Then we read a few books and I took a nap while she played quietly by herself. I need to get some more iron pills. I'm sick of being so tired 24/7. 

When I woke up, we got ready and dropped the kids off and went to the temple. I've cried a lot of tears on the last 36 hours. In bed, in the car, at the library, and lots and lots and lots at the temple tonight. Thanks to the sweet sister that put her arm around me tonight at the end of the session. I never even saw her face but was grateful for her kind gesture. 

I wasn't planning to go to St. George for the funeral but at the temple, I felt like I should. For me. It's out of my comfort zone because I hate leaving my kids and I'm in for a whole lot of hours in the car, and I'm sad to be missing out on stuff I have going on here in Parker. But I feel like I need to go. I'm thankful we were able to work out childcare and that I'm able to go. Hopefully all goes well. I feel more than a little bit emotionally fragile right now. 

But on a lighter note, when John came home tonight, we were just about to leave. Seeing him, Abigail says "hey! We're going... You missed out." And then kept repeating it to me about how uncle John really missed out. 

Hopefully that's what she says to me when I get back from St. George.