16 weeks

How far along:  16 weeks  (12.18.14)

Total weight gain/loss: +3 lbs

Maternity clothes:  yes... but only because i wear maternity clothes as part of my regular wardrobe.  dressing for sunday is already feeling limited, but my pants and shirts during the week are all still totally fine and should last for a while to come.  i wore my really skinny target skinnies the other day for the first time in months and they cut into my love handles but not so terribly that i couldn't wear them all day... just that they weren't as comfortable as my other pants i've been wearing.

Sleep:  holy cow with the crazy dreams!  i don't even try to remember them anymore... so so weird.  still taking my sleeping pill and going to bed as early as i can.  i've started being more sleepy when i wake up during the morning though and even took a nap this afternoon... which i haven't done in months and months.  it wasn't restful (airplane sleep) and left me out of it for an hour or two.  

Best moment this week:  my little outing with brady for his birthday morning.  spoiling a child and experiencing things through their eyes is wonderful.  it lifted my kind of down mood this week.  

Movement:  just the same as what's been going on.  i think some of them are probably real kicks but i can't differentiate enough to know what's real and what's not.  but it's getting exciting because i should be able to start feeling it within the next two weeks for sure!

Food cravings:  i hate eating most of the time.  i can eat scrambled eggs on toasted french bread which is nice (for a while, i couldn't handle bread because of when i overdosed on toast for a week straight) and i can eat toasted french bread with butter if it also has sister stewart's delicious blackberry jam on it.  but just looking at toasted french bread with only butter on it, makes me almost gag.  and i'm still hit and miss about other things that resemble bread so that's weird and interesting when trying to find something acceptable to eat.  i've been binging on christmas treats at christmas parties and stuff we've gotten from people.  bring on the chocolates and toffee and sees candies!  also, my most consistent "i can eat that!" food lately has been cheese.  so i've also been devouring crackers with cheese spread (only club crackers... the wheat in ritz is a no go) and the harry and david sharp white cheddar and gouda that he brought home last week.  also, the harry and david pears and apples are delightful.  tonight on brady's birthday, honey and i went to the ballet (i know, we ditched him again) and i realized i'd forgotten to eat dinner (I'd also forgotten to grab my coat), so on the way home, i was begging honey for taco bell (needed a tortilla because of the aversion to bread) but it was far away so he offered me wendy's and arby's since they were closer.  and i'm all "i could do a regular sandwich from arby's, but only if it has sauce.  and i could do french fries, but only the ones from wendy's or mc donalds, and chicken nuggets, but only from wendy's, not anywhere else... and they had to have honey mustard sauce, and i could do soft tacos or a burritto from taco bell, but only if you make them supreme because whatever i get from there has to have sour cream, lettuce, and tomatoes, or else i'll gag."  he was partially amused (i think it brought back memories for him of my pregnancy with abigail) and ultimately said i needed to make the call.  i chose taco bell.  looking back, i think wendy's would have been better.  ; )  

Symptoms: nausea and headaches every afternoon that last until i go to sleep, increased fatigue, still occasionally feelings like i'm going to faint/pass out, crazy pregnancy dreams, widespread food aversions and random cravings, pure laziness, large stomach...

Gender:  my gut still says girl, just because of my symptoms, but a boy would be great because he would have at least three boy cousins really close in age to him!  we'll have to see what liza is having...!

What I miss:  not feeling so crappy for the second half of every day!  and being able to eat food like a normal person instead of being so weird and picky about everything.

Milestones:  i hit 16 weeks!  i've been so weird about this in my head because 16 weeks (for me at least) is when things start to get real!  like i can't believe that i actually finally hit 16 weeks!
Theme: the week of feeling apathetic sometimes.  i have an on and off pity party about this.
What's different this time around:  with abigail, i still wasn't feeling great... like this time around... and started experiencing some pregnancy cravings, but still had a lot of my aversions.  also, second trimester is supposed to be the "burst of energy" that everyone loves.  with abigail, that was when the extreme fatigue set in (and didn't let up until she was born) and i'm starting to feel bits of that right now (although i hope i'm just being paranoid and looking into it too much).  today, i took a nap for the first time in months.  abigail and i were reading books in bed and i just couldn't handle it anymore and had to lay down and sleep for a bit.  also, i slept through my alarm on sunday morning and was late for church because i didn't wake up til 8:45.  it's really nothing major right now... but it's just something i haven't been experiencing until this point.  

Extra:  i'm so excited to have hit 16 weeks!  i feel like i was just at 11 weeks and these last few weeks were a bit of a blur!  i'm loving my big belly sometimes and other times, i'm hating it because it looks like a disgusting gut.  but i don't miss being skinny, i'm just ready to look a little less lush and a little more pregnant.  technically i'm still skinny, but just not my big belly.  i told my vt companion, charees, and she was all "i was wondering..."  i asked her if it was because of my big gut, but she said it was because it looked like i'd been losing weight... which must have been true because i was getting a lot bigger in my belly without putting on any lbs so it must have been pulling from my face or legs or something.  but i think i'm at a good start now to gaining weight so hopefully that'll change!  this week i've been kind of sad that i'm still feeling crappy in the evenings.  since i've been feeling almost normal in the morning, i thought that would apply to my whole day.  not the case.  i still get a horrible headache every afternoon and feel sick and hungry and depressed and apathetic.  i think it was sunday night that i looked over my calendar of events for the week and felt super depressed that i wasn't excited for anything.  they were all things that i would typically be really happy about (celebrating brady's birthday, going to the ballet with honey, celebrating christmas eve and christmas with our little family... even dental and vision appointments because i like to check those off the list) but kind of just wanted to skip.  then honey handed me three christmas cards and a pen and asked me to write in them for three friends while he would do the other friends and then he would deliver the cards and chocolate later in the week.  i handed the cards and pen back to him and told him i just couldn't do it.  and then i laid down on the sofa right there and closed my eyes and quietly cried for the next hour or so.  i know it wasn't logical, and thank goodness i realized that, but it was still hard.  the happy part was that i knew i'd feel better about life in the morning, but in that moment, making a birthday cake and wrapping presents and celebrating christmas just seemed so difficult.  luckily, for brady's actual birthday morning, i was feeling excited and great and had an awesome time with him.  but nights (and some days) are still pretty difficult.  i'm trying to get excited about costa rica right now.  i'm mostly just over christmas (i know that sounds horrible because it was my only happy thought a mere month ago) but i am excited to just hang out with the hilliers.  just gotta make sure the packing anxiety doesn't get to me too bad in the next few days.

12.19.14 at 16 weeks 1 day

12.19.14 at 16 weeks 1 day