so then a little bit later, we came inside to make hummus, eat a little, and have nap time and quiet time. as abigail sat down at the table, i put the hummus in front of her and told her i was going to cut up a bell pepper for her to eat it with. she instantly started whining that she doesn't like red peppers and she just really wanted carrots to eat with her hummus. so i'm all, fine, we've already got an open bag of carrots in the fridge and that saves me from needing to cut up a pepper right now. so as i'm getting out the carrots, i explain to her that actually she DOES like red peppers and she instantly changes her mind that she wants both... carrots and peppers. i told her one is all we're doing for lunch and here are your carrots. and then she won't stop whining about how she wanted bell peppers no matter how many times i tell her that we're only doing one thing and she chose carrots. i know many people would be happy to have their four year beg for hummus and carrots and then cry because they want bell peppers to, but i was not having it. i told her she was about to lose her opportunity to eat the food she had if she didn't say thank you and start eating and she gave me a snotty "thank you" and then growled at me. not sure where she got the growling thing from, but she's been doing that some lately and it drives me insane. so i told her to go to her room for a few minutes, so she screamed and cried the whole way there and for at least five minutes probably. i got her and talked to her and invited her to come downstairs with us again to eat.
then honey came in and brady was eating his granola with milk and abigail had her hummus and carrots and i had an apple pear and everyone was wanting everyone else's food and was getting increasingly whiny about it. they wanted honey's cheese and cookie and everyone wanted my apple pear and brady wanted the hummus and carrots even though he'd already had his fill when abigail was in her room. i asked honey if he still thought we were living the life. ; )
then i hurried to take brady up for nap since it was already almost 2:30. his nap and sleep schedule has been stressing me out lately because he sleeps so long at night and takes long naps during the day (if he naps) but then i know he's getting older and probably doesn't need so much sleep anymore. 15 hours at night plus a 3 hour nap is 18 hours, which seems like a lot for a two year old. so ideally i would put him down between 7 and 8 and he'd wake up on his own around 9am and then nap from 1-3 or something... but that's not really how that plays out and he ends up sleeping til at least 10 or 11, even when he goes to sleep at 7. i wake him up at 9 on days that we have to take abigail to preschool... but it's so hit and miss with him when i have to wake him up before he's ready, that on days when i don't have to, it's practically impossible for me to bring myself to wake him. several days recently, i've just let him sleep as late as he wants (hanging out in his crib til after 11 or closer to noon) and then having the kids in bed by 7pm. it's great some days but other days it would work out better to have the morning available for us to get out and the afternoon for me to have a few hours free of my kids. ; ) all of this is just so my future self can look back and say "man, i used to be uptight" and "glad that turned out to be nothing to stress about." in the meantime, i'll just keep playing this by ear. i'm so great at this experimental parenting thing.
ps- i just had such an insanely happy thought. honey's busiest time of the year is during the time of a traditional school year... when it's cold outside and dark for most of the day. when work and stress was picking up for him this past fall, i was stressing hardcore about how the future months would be difficult on our marriage and difficult for me as a mother, not having his support as much. i cried myself to sleep a few nights, knowing the difficult that lied ahead. especially when i got pregnant and knew that that would add emotional difficulty and fatigue to the situation. i had a little talk with my honey and let me know that this was stressing me out already because i'd grown accustomed to his help and companionship and i wasn't ready to be solo again. my honey was so sweet and wonderful and i think he really took in everything i was saying. i don't think he would have known those things had i not been so straightforward with him about it. i'm sure my tears helped convey that the fear was real. well, he rocked it. he was so awesome about being great at home, even if he'd had a rough day. and he was so great about helping out around the house and being so sympathetic to my shortcomings as a wife and mother that were and weren't related to pregnancy. seriously so much so, that i just realized it's really really really spring and he's going to start coming home earlier and traveling less (well, come mid may) and that basically... we made it. i made it another winter and i never even felt like our marriage suffered (which has been a very real feeling for me in previous winters) or that our family life was really strained. i didn't even beg him to give up his company and get a nine to five job. ; ) so, there's my extreme gratitude, poorly portrayed in a simple paragraph. i am so grateful.
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