"I wanna cry"

That's been one of Brady's most often used phrases over the last several weeks. Out of the blue a few weeks back, he started crying at naptime and bedtime. He protested naps and frequently stayed awake or only slept for 45 minutes or played for an hour or two before yelling out for me to come get him. So then I started asking him to please not cry when I put him in his crib and his response was always the same. "I wanna cry."  So I finally gave in and told him "okay, but Abigail is sleeping in her room, so try to cry quietly, okay?"  Well, that only lasted one night. After that he just started the "I wanna cry loud?"  Ha. But strangely enough, once I granted him permission, the crying became less frequent. And today I realized that he really hasn't cried for naps for bedtime and has been napping great. The funny thing is, he still uses the phrase "I wanna cry" in other applicable situations. All week long he begs to go to church. And when Sunday rolls around he says he wants to go home. When I tell him it's time for nursery, he protests and says he wants to cry. We told him that was fine. He's such a weird kid... The nursery leaders always tell us how great he is and that he's such a funny kid, but he seriously has to cry for the first few minutes every Sunday. I finally told Shawna about it. "Yeah, he always just needs to know he has the option to cry if he wants."  Maybe she can reinforce that next week and it will cut out his nursery crying. 

In other "I wanna cry" news, Abigail and I each spent way too much time crying today. I'm emotionally unstable and semi depressed when I'm pregnant and Abigail is emotionally unstable because she is an ultra dramatic four year old. Tonight we had a little talk and made a pact with each other that tomorrow would be better and we would make better choices and cry less. "And no whining" Abigail added. Yes, hopefully we can do that. Lofty goals, but if we're just hoping for an improvement over today, that shouldn't be too hard. 

So, yesterday was an amazing day and I was completely awesome at life. Today I spent large chunks of my day crying in bed. I'm a bit bipolar but I'm going to blame it on pregnancy and eventually postpartum. If I'm still crazy in six months, I'll likely blame sleep deprivation or having a newborn. If it continues beyond that point, I'll blame myself for having three kids and being an unfit mother. 

On the plus side though, we had salmon and zucchini and apple pears for dinner tonight and I have the kids baths. And my kitchen and great room are clean thanks to my kids and my honey. And I did my visiting teaching and I sent Abigail to school with cuties and Capri suns and homemade banana muffins for snackand she said everyone loved it. And I was on time picking her up. And I got granny's birthday card in the mail. And I made my kids strawberry banana smoothies and peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches to eat outside in the backyard while they gathered me piles of flowers from our yard and the weather was perfect. So mostly it was just all the crap that happened between the hours of 2:30 and 5:30 that completely sucked. But holy cow it was rough and I may have contemplated putting my kids up for adoption/which of my loved ones I could pawn them off to so I could still see them from time to time but know that someone adequate was raising them. 

So far in my life, I've found nothing better than a four year old to make me feel like a complete and utter failure. ; )  

Tonight we read the book "this plus that" and here's mine for the day... Being a mom + Abigail = refiner's fire

Crossing my fingers for a super awesome Wednesday.