38 weeks

How far along:  38 weeks  (5.21.15)

Total weight gain/loss: 28.5 lbs

Maternity clothes:  yes... i prefer to wear the same few tops since they're the longest and they fit me the best.  i also wear my maternity skinnies almost every time i get dressed.  at home i normally wear a hoodie with yoga pants or sweats.  i would wear dresses or maxi skirts every day but sunny parker decided to turn eternally cloudy... like for the past three weeks and not really an end in sight.  i don't ever recall this much cloudy weather in a row... it's gotta be some sort of record.  

Sleep:  not bad.  my dreams are still more low key than the beginning of pregnancy although tuesday night i had a super weird one about sharing a house with our neighbors across the street, something about this textile store that also had bed frames and fabric backboards, and honey being devastated because john disowned the entire family.  it was strange.  i normally go to the bathroom every time i wake up, which this past week has been more than usual because i'm trying to help abigail learn to sleep without diapers... but that's a whole different story.  

Best moment this week:  sunday.  it was a good day. 

Movement:  it finally seems less aggressive this week.  it's not as constant either... much less than before, depending on the time of day.  

Food cravings:  i think the salad and fruit and lemon layer dessert that i ate for sunday dinner at the hilliers was the best meal i've tasted in a looooong time.  i have no idea if it was because i was especially hungry, but it hit the spot like i didn't even know it was possible.  i had thirds on the salad and the fruit and i helped honey and abigail eat their desserts.  even having leftover salad three times in the following 48 hours and dessert leftovers the next day, it was still delectable.  i've also been enjoying reese's pieces and chocolate chips. 

Symptoms: all the usual, but thankfully less depression than before.  i was crazy emotional during stake conference on sunday, but honestly, it was a really really good meeting and the spirit was soooo strong. also, still getting sciatic pain on my left side.  my doctor commented at my appointment tuesday that baby looked like she'd dropped some since my previous visit two weeks before and i confirmed that something must have changed because it's been within the last week and a half or so that i've been getting the increasing sciatic pain.  happily though, it's just like a strong cramp, and not the shooting pain i remember with abigail.

Gender:  my girl.

What I miss:  maybe drugs?  i've had a cold/cough for the last week and a half or so and i'm kinda over it.  on the plus side, i actually really like sleeping sitting up now.  ; )

Milestones:  i feel pretty confident that i'm going to have a baby within the next week or two.  so crazy.
Theme: the week of trying to soak up my kids and enjoy them and spend more time with them.
What's different this time around:  with all three, i've been pretty last minute getting stuff together.  hopefully i can finish stuff up within the next few days... maybe i'll even pack my hospital bag before i'm in heavy labor!

Extra:  i'm so lazy.  earlier this week i wrote out two long to do lists of things i needed to get done asap.  one list is baby related (get out moses basket, bottles and nursing stuff, pack hospital bag, etc) and one is just stuff i'd like to have done before i have a baby on my hands (paint my toenails, get everything visiting teaching related all updated, clean and organize a few hotspots around the house like the laundry room and that cabinet under my microwave)... but then i left my list on my nightstand and refused to look at it until right now.  i feel like if i'm not ready for my baby to come then my baby won't come.  and i'm just not ready to give my baby permission to come yet.  but in the meantime, maybe i'd be enjoying these last few weeks a little more if i wasn't constantly worried that all this stuff would bite me if i happened to go into labor now.  i did make pioneer woman's sour cream noodle bake (doubled the recipe and then split it between three smallish pans) for the freezer.  i'd like to make some lasagna to freeze too, but once again... lazy.  i am trying to stay relatively on top of stuff like laundry and grocery shopping (i normally try to stretch each of those to as close to ten days as i can) so that i'm not caught with an empty fridge or no clean clothes.

i've had a few productive days (yesterday i unloaded the dishwasher, did laundry, practiced piano, played with brady, went to a baby shower) and a few not so productive days, but i will say that i'm happy to report that i've been way better this past week about spending time with my kids.  even if i'm just sitting in the room while we play house (i'm the grandma that's napping in the chair or something boring like that) or snuggling while we watch pocahontas, it has felt great to blow off the things that i need to do and just sit and watch my kids instead.  it's still really recent, but i'm feeling my relationship with abigail mend and heal and improve from the broken relationship with was weeks ago.  i'm soaking up brady's adorable two year old ness and can't get over all of the funny things he says and does each day.  so i may not have a hospital bag packed, but i've been doing so much better mentally (although still crappy about calling and texting... sorry!) and i'm feeling more confident in my abilities as a mother to bring one more child into this world and that i'll have enough love and appreciation to go around.  so right now, that's my biggest focus.  thankfully, i'm feeling so grateful for my kids.