the first time frontier failed me. and royally.

yesterday was kind of horrific.  it would have been a bad day for me except it was all so ridiculous i couldn't help but laugh.  seriously.  i couldn't make this stuff up if i tried.

it started out great.  this week is hillier family fun in branson missouri.  every year my honey's family goes on a christmas trip and we get to go with them!  we've been to cancun twice (in 2008 and 2010) and grand cayman once.  this year they decided to switch things up and go to branson missouri which is a show town in the middle of nowhere.  it's like a senior citizens/family version of vegas.

anyways, our flight was at 11 or something and we didn't have to leave our house til 9:15 so we spent the morning getting ready and everything was going really great.  baby slept in while showered and got packed.  i guess i'm getting better at packing because after i'd packed everything for myself and for baby i still had a third of my suitcase available and half of baby's bag available.  and i was even bringing a weeks worth of diapers for her and packing for cold weather!  i was amazed.  this never happens.  normally i have to sit on my bags to get them closed.  actually, my suitcase zippers are all broken because of that.  i should ask for a new carryon bag for christmas but i'm a little nostaligic about this one.  it's been all over the world with me.

anyways, kirstyn picked us up and dropped us off at the airport.  we went through security just fine.  got to the gate.  life was good.

waiting.

and then it got messy.  chris's grandparents flight was delayed for three hours because of "computer issues."  it was supposed to come to denver and they were on the denver to branson missouri flight with us but they obviously weren't going to make the connection.  this is bad because there is only one flight a day from denver to branson.

then, i asked the frontier lady at the desk for a plastic bag for our carseat (they normally offer me one when i get a gate check tag but this time didn't) and the lady said they didn't have any.  she had no people skills and didn't seem easy to please so i went to a different frontier desk to ask a nicer looking lady.  she didn't have any but she called frontier check in to see if someone could bring me one.  apparently they were swamped and wouldn't be able to before we had to board.  but she said "well, let me take a look at your flight and see if i can get your daughter a seat.  she can ride in her carseat and then you don't have to worry about not having a bag.  GREAT!  THANKS FRONTIER KAREN!  I LOVE YOU!  so she's doing that when considerate karen says "i just need to check and make sure i'm okay to do this for you."  she talks to someone named bonnie who tells her "i'm working on something, don't mess with the seats."  karen looks sad, gets off the phone and tells me i'll need to go talk to bonnie about getting a seat for my baby.  then she points to bonnie.  the initial lady i talked to with no people skills.  greeeaaaattttt, now bonnie knows i went behind her back.

i talk to bonnie.  hey, karen said my daughter could probably have a seat for her carseat.  bonnie says "no, that won't work, we don't have two seats together.  i'm trying to work on getting a family together that currently has scatter seats"  so i tell her, actually i'm flying with a larger group so we could split up and sit individually so i could sit with my daughter and this family could sit together.  just tell me where the open seat is and we'll make it work."  then she switches it up on me and says, no, there isn't ANY free seat.  i tell her there for sure HAS to be free seats because i know people not able to make the flight.  and she says, oh, but they for sure will make the flight.  and i say, is this the two people coming from salt lake?  and she says "no, we already took them off the list because there is absolutely no way they'll make it (she'd just told my mother in law there was a good chance they'd get on the flight with us and not to worry).  so i bring up that since two of our party (the grandparents) aren't going to make it on this flight because they're plane is so delayed, can my baby have one of those available seats.  she just keeps saying "nonononononoblahblahblahblahnononono all of the seats are full and there are zero seats for your baby."   okay bonnie, whatever.

i walk off, tell chris.  he goes to bonnie and tells her to make a phonecall and get us a carseat bag.  she makes a fake phonecall, literally picks up the phone and pretends to talk to someone.  chris calls her out on it, she denies it, chris gets frustrated and leaves.  he goes to customer service and finds a carseat bag, puts our carseat in it and then carries this giant thing up to evil bonnie to show her that he was right and she was wrong and why did she lie to him blah blah blah.  kind of embarassing but kind of funny.  my mother in law said my honey gets that quality from her.  ; )

so we think that's the end of the story?  we are wrong.  everyone has boarded the plane and there are at least TEN to FIFTEEN empty seats on this plane!!!  THREE of them together, in the same row as my mother in law!  i was so mad i wanted to storm off that plane and punch evil bonnie or at least have her look around at the fifteen open seats that my kid's carseat could have occupied.  SERIOUSLY?!?!

then i heard the flight was only an hour long and i was like "y'know what, who cares, it's an hour, and it's nap time, my kid will sleep."  well, the flight was much longer than one hour.  maybe even more than two and a half hours.  because we got to branson and apparently there was only a half mile of visibility (as had been the case all day) and they needed at least a whole mile of visibility to land.  my question: WHY DID WE TAKE OFF IF WE KNEW WE COULDN'T LAND?!?!  anyways, we circled in the air for-ev-er before they flew us to kansas city. then we landed and waited for two hours for buses to come get us.

getting on the bus.  john's skateboard backpack held baby's stroller nicely.

then we drove OVER FOUR HOURS on a bus (with a twenty minute break... great, because we totally wanted to lengthen this experience!) to branson.  we were in the very back of the bus.  i was sitting next to baby and her carseat (which was not secured in any way... why don't buses believe in seatbelts?!?!) and my honey was sitting behind me next to a guy our age that fought in the war and has post traumatic stress disorder.  my honey normally doesn't talk much but he was loving this guy.  one of honey's best friends growing up went to kuwait and was sent home home with PSTD and schizophrenia.  so honey really knew how to handle this guy.  they talked the whole four hours and it was hilarious.  he told so many stories about the cambodian mafia and being tortured and being in foreign prisons but you never really know what's real and what's not.  honey and i both majored in psychology so this was all very interesting to us instead of scary or intimidating.  the guy told chris he was part norwegian and part cherokee so chris started chanting with him.  it was just the two of them but they got a pretty good "branson" chant going for a while.  ;-)

so as i said, we were at the very back of the bus where it was super bumpy and pretty hot.  baby had already taken two interrupted naps during the day but was getting really tipsy (surefire sign she's tired) and cuddly so i was held her.  and then wouldn't you know it, but just ten minutes from the end of the bus ride, she spit up a little on my shirt sleeve.  poor baby, so i turned around to tell chris and then it was like that scene from sixth sense.  projectile vomit. vomit, vomit, vomit over and over and EVERYWHERE.  it COMPLETELY covered the front of my shirt and the bottom half of my hair.  SOAKING wet.  and i had no extra shirt with me and since we were in a bus, and my bag was down underneath and also since we were in a bus, there was no sink or running water in the bathroom.  just some prepackaged moist towelettes, which did nothing for my situation.  the situation was completely hopeless.  i stepped out of the bathroom (apparently everyone had been hiding their noses under their shirts to avoid the overwhelming aroma of nasty milk baby vomit) and asked chris's two younger brothers if they wanted to give me their shirt (who cares that it was freezing cold and pouring rain outside?!?!) and luckily the older of the two (john) had a giant sweatshirt i could have.  so i took off my soaking wet shirt and put the sweatshirt on.  but that did nothing for my hair which looked like i'd dipped it in chunky confetti cupcake batter.  so i just had to pull it back and wrap the dry hair around the wet hair to contain the vomit in one super nasty bun on the top of my head.

finally, the bus stopped and we got off and waited in the airport baggage claim area (suuuper tiny airport, it was deserted except for the two busloads of people).  turns out, baby girl was also pretty covered in puke but it had mostly dried and contained no chunks... still smelled disgusting though.  we got our rental cars and lugged everything through the rain and got them all loaded with our bags and carseat and everything.  we were off!

chris's parents and two brothers were in one car and honey, baby, and me were in the other.  we were on our way to the hotel (30 minute drive or so) but had to stop for food.  sonic was the only option.  i don't handle large quantities of fast food very well late at night.  especially while traveling.  i always have a hard time eating when i travel.  we drive through the slowest sonic on the planet, get our food and head to the grocery store across the street.  baby fell asleep in the car (fabulous, a third nap, and at 10:30 at night... will she sleep tonight?) so honey stayed with her and i went to help gather groceries for the week.  the place was void of any other customers and we were still gathering groceries when the store closed at 11.  the grumpy cashier was anxious for us to get out of there.

k, to the hotel we go!  check in, pull around, lug all of our bags and the million bags of groceries (food for the week for 12 people!) through the pouring rain and up to our room.  home sweet home... kinda, but it really felt like it.  we unloaded the groceries, tried to get baby to eat (still wouldn't.  apparently she has trouble eating while traveling too!), gave her a bath, and got her in bed.  then honey went to bed.  then i showered and washed off all of the crusted vomit, blow dried my hair (i cant sleep with wet hair) and remembered baby's spit up clothes.  i didn't want them to stain so i washed them, by hand, in the bathroom sink and hung them to dry.

dried crusty hair (with chunks), right before i got in the shower

at 2:02 am i got in bed and went to sleep.