20 weeks

How far along:  20 weeks  (8.9.12)

Total weight gain/loss: +10ish lbs... maybe 10.5

Maternity clothes:  same as before.  still wearing my regular shirts, jeans, dresses, skirts, etc. just more limited in which jeans (some are just too uncomfortable) and shirts (the bigger the belly gets, the shorter the shirt gets) and honestly, if i had maternity shirts i would have totally broken those out by now.  but since i borrowed everything last time i don't have anything this time and i'm going to try to buy as little as possible until the weather gets colder.  

Sleep:  mixed.  some days i wake up in the morning with that glorious "oh my goodness i slept through the night!"  but most nights i wake up once to go to the bathroom and half wake up in between a series of bizarre dreams.  i've barely taken naps this past week so even though my body dies inside at the thought of doing anything physical in this heat, i'm going to take it as a plus that at least my mind can take awake past 2:30 in the afternoon!

Best moment this week:  the big ultrasound maybe?!  although really, this whole week has just been a lot of fun.

Movement:  i honestly can not get over how cool it is to feel a baby moving around inside of you!  i got freaked out over the weekend though.  from a few weeks ago i have been so focused on feeling for movement that when it started (even though i was still unsure that's what it really was) i was able to feel and notice all of the kicks.  and for that first week that i was feeling movement it was all the time!  like whenever i was sitting and not just a kick here or there, it was constant!  and then this past saturday i realized i really hadn't been feeling our baby move much or at all for a day or two.  like maybe since thursday night.  sunday i was still worried about it.  i was trying to feel movement but it wasn't happening and i was grateful to have an ultrasound monday although already bracing myself for bad news.  just trying to figure out how i would answer the ultrasound tech's ominous "sooo, when was the last time you were able to feel your baby move?" question of doom.  so sunday night as i was laying down to go to sleep i prayed real hard that i would be able to feel this baby and know he was okay.  i was literally midsentence when i felt a big jab  and then a minute later another big jab.  and then that was all.  no more movement but i knew it was an answer to my prayer and i was restored with a little bit (although sadly not a lot) of faith and was grateful for that.  monday morning during our ultrasound this kid was going nuts.  i mean moving like crazy.  the tech even commented that he was moving constantly and while we were watching it on the screen christopher leaned over to me and was like "you can't feel any of this?!" to which i replied, "oh no!  i'm definitely feeling every bit of this including the stuff you don't see on the screen!  he's kicking like crazy over here right now!" as i pointed to a spot to the left of my bellybutton.  it was fun to see the screen movement coincide with what i felt in my belly!  and since, still not tons of movement but 20 weeks is still early... this time last pregnancy i was still trying to figure out what movement even felt like!  coolest thing ever... tonight honey and i took baby girl on a bike ride to a nearby playground and were hanging out, laying down on the slides when i felt some super strong jabs.  "honey, i think this is strong enough that you could feel it!  he's going crazy in here right now!" and sure enough... he felt it!  right at 20 weeks, my dear christopher first was able to feel our little boy move!  so exciting!  also, just now i felt some unusual pressure in my belly.  felt it with my hand and sure enough, i could feel our baby!  not sure if it was a head or foot or little baby bum but it was just the tiniest little knot and after a little prodding on my part, eventually it was poking back at me!  this is so fun!

Food cravings:  thankfully some of my desire to eat has died down a bit.  i don't think it's really affected my eating (i still eat a TON and lots of it is super sugary and unhealthy) but it's nice not to be pacing the house and thinking about food every second of the day.  two days this week we went out for breakfast (chick fil a and IHOP) but other than that i'm still eating my usual cheese eggs on toast.  the dinners i've made this week haven't hit the spot even though christopher has liked them and i know i've made them correctly.  honey brought home two dozen donuts saturday morning and i've been downing those like it's my job.  they're so light and airy it doesn't faze me to eat two or more in a row.  frozen chocolate (either frozen chocolate chips or frozen snickers) has been good this week too.  but all in all, it's not like last week where everything i put in my mouth tasted like the best thing ever.  

Gender:  it's a BOY!!!  as i mentioned in the big ultrasound post, i've felt inspired from the beginning that this would be a boy.  i'm excited to know we're capable of having girls and boys so i can stop stressing about being one of those families that has five or more of the same gender all in a row.  i feel such a connection to this little boy and i love him so much already.  but then again, we did practically meet face to face back in april.

What I miss:  having motivation and energy!  i'm not even huge yet but little things like bending over or going upstairs or anything at all really... well, it makes me tired just thinking about it.  i know i'm out of shape and that that's a lot of it but i do think things should improve a little when it's not in the high 90's every day.

Milestones:   i'm half way there and we found out the gender!
Theme: the week of "i can't believe it's already half way over!" and panicking about getting everything done in the next 20 weeks!
Extra:  i'm trying to be more submissive to my weight and i think it's working.  i really need to not focus on the number on the scale because honestly what i'm freaking out about is all of the sugar and crap i keep putting in my body.  i was so diligent and focused last pregnancy on nourishing my baby with healthy quality food and now i'm like "bring on the fast food and donuts!" around the clock.  i also hate that feeling i have all the time of feeling so stuffed to the brim and nauseous from overeating.  overeating does not make your tummy feel nice.  it also adds to that already prevalent lethargic feeling weighing you down.  
last time i didn't care about nesting or preparing or anything for the birth of our child.  "ehh, we just need diapers and onesies and we'll be fine."  this time i'm like "i need to get a boy nursery together, i need to potty train abigail and i need to get her in a big girl bed which means i also need to buy furniture and bedding and everything else to move her into the yellow room and i need to be an awesome mom and soak up my remaining time as just the two of us and i need to pick out a boy name and i need to buy winter maternity clothes that aren't even in the stores yet and i need to make sure i don't get fat and i need to read up on a pain management and natural birthing because last time my epidural didn't kick in til i was at a 10 and holy crap was all of that painful and i need to organize my basement and basically my whole house because there's too many closets that still have stuff that i never actually "unpacked" and even though nothing on this list is absolutely crucial (well, maybe picking a name might be) it doesn't stop me from having anxiety about it.
a highlight from my week though is that even though i wake up in the morning looking pretty normal, as soon as i eat breakfast, my stomach quadruples in size and i have a nice sized baby bump!  i know this stage where your bump is big enough to be noticed but small enough to be cute is so very limited that i have to soak it up and savor it while it lasts.  so it's been fun this week wearing fitted shirts that say "hey!  look at me!  i have a baby in here!"  it makes me feel gorgeous and confident and i want to go places more just to sport my bump in public.  ha.
also, i just looked back at my 20 week post with abigail and saw that my "best moment this week" was going to the olympics with my christopher!  i know we aren't actually physcially AT the olympics this time but we have been watching them constantly in the evenings.  what are the chances that i'd be 20 weeks along both times during the olympics?!  i thought that was a little crazy.

taken 8.13.12 at 20 weeks 4 days