Total weight gain/loss: +11ish lbs... been holding steady all week.
Maternity clothes: same as before. but i finally bought a few things this week at old navy and oh my was it so exciting to purchase maternity stuff!
Sleep: still moderate. monday morning i was having a super weird and scary dream that i kept trying to unsuccessfully wake myself up from. but then luckily honey woke me up to say goodbye. other than that my dreams haven't been scary or too crazy or vivid. lately i've been staying up super late and if i do that, then i can just go to the bathroom before i fall asleep and then i don't have to get out of bed for a bathroom break til i'm up for the day!
Best moment this week: wednesday or thursday probably? or just in general: feeling like my normal happy self.
Movement: i can't believe how little i was feeling this time last pregnancy. because honestly, this kid will stretch out real big and it feels like i'm experiencing a contraction in just the lowest part of my belly. also, all this past week, if i'm feeling a particularly uncomfortable "stretch out" then i can look down and SEE a lump or lopsidedness of my belly. makes me a little worried because he's not even very big right now and it's already frequently uncomfortable! right now as i'm typing this, i can simultaneously see and feel the kicks. it's so cool.
Food cravings: this week i've been unable to keep myself away from chocolate. frozen snickers and frozen chocolate chips have been especially awesome. also straight nutella or these chocolate toffee candies from costco. yesterday i made a goal to have no sweets before noon... and ended up not having any all day! i just ate my three big meals and had no snacking in between. it actually felt really good not to be tethered to the freezer all day (the saddest thing about frozen chocolate chips is that they lose their frozen quality within minutes of coming out of the freezer). i'm trying to focus more on filling myself up with good food instead of focusing on cutting out the bad food. and at least yesterday it worked. if i eat enough for breakfast to fill me up, i can much more easily resist snacking on sweets. fill your life (and belly) with good things and there won't be room for the rest. see? all things are spiritual. still the biggest and most consistent thing is those scrambled eggs every morning although i've had to up it an egg so i cook four now and share a third of it with baby girl. i'll let you know if i ever stop eating cheesy scrambled eggs on sliced, toasted, buttered french bread each morning. until then we'll just all assume i'm still going strong. it seriously is the highlight of my day and every single time i think, "oh my heavens this is the best thing i've ever tasted in my entire life. also, at ashley's house right now i had the most amazing chocolate milk ever and have been thinking about it every five minutes since then.
Gender: it's a BOY!!! this week i've barely even thought about that though. it just seems so normal like "yeah, that's old news... of course it's a boy. was there any other option?!"
What I miss: my patience. especially for my child. and emotional consistency.
Milestones: more than half way there! and i can see my baby move from the outside!
Theme: the week of "deep breaths. be patient!" Milestones: more than half way there! and i can see my baby move from the outside!
Extra: i had that really bad day sunday topped off with a huge breakdown that night and while i've had a post of those details written out since monday, i haven't had the guts to post it because it's so terrible. maybe eventually but not as of this very moment. anyways, tuesday morning wasn't great either but wednesday was awesome. sooo, i've realized that before i was happy pretty much no matter what. and now my happiness depends on a few things and requires me to be busy (aka, have plans, be scheduled, etc). it also helps if my house (well, at least my kitchen and great room) is clean or at least picked up. it helps if i'm wearing makeup and cute clothes and feel good about my appearance. it helps if what i'm doing is productive in any way. i mean, all of these things were things i knew before except that if they didn't happen i was still fine. now, if i'm not doing all of those things, i'm going to struggle emotionally. it's brought fear and uncertainty towards the forefront of my mind so that even when i'm happy and engaged in something i'm thinking, "okay now what can i plan for tomorrow to make sure i stay happy and don't get sad and upset." also, i don't think i've mentioned this before but it's been super prevalent for the past several months that i have superhuman smelling capabilities to rival most canines. i've been downstairs before while abigail was upstairs napping in her crib when i've smelled something off and sure enough it ends up being a dirty diaper. i don't know how many feet away that is but it's an entire flight of stairs, through our upstairs landing hallway area, through abigail's mostly closed bedroom door and then to the far side of the room where her crib is. also, people's breath but we won't really get into that. and leftovers... i hate how they normally smell disgusting when you pull them out of the fridge but luckily they always smell fabulous by the time they're finished heating up in the microwave!
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| taken 8.19.12 at 21 weeks 3 days |
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so excited you're having a boy! :)
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