Total weight gain/loss: + 22.5 - 23.5 lbs how does it vary so much from day to day?!
Maternity clothes: i'm less than two months away from having a baby so i've made it a goal not to purchase anything else... unless i can wear it just fine afterwards too. it will be fun to see how this plays out though because my wardrobe is very limited... and it all looks the same.
Best moment this week: well it definitely wasn't tuesday night. ummm, i'm actually really happy that abigail and i did so well this weekend while my christopher was gone. we spent sunday and monday evening with my mother in law and that was tons of fun hanging out over there. i love her to death. and she didn't even care that we invited ourselves over.
Movement: when he moves, he's really really moving! i experience a lot of calm but when he gets going it's pretty crazy. it feels like he's head down with all of the tickles i get in the front below my belly button and the bigger kicks or what feels like his back/bottom up high above my belly button. i don't think i've gotten any contractions yet but many times when i bend over, i can feel my stomach get hard and square. but it doesn't seem like a contraction because it's not equally hard all over. who knows though. time will tell.
Food cravings: i'm still just enduring it. it's really not terrible when i'm actually eating but finding the motivation to eat or cook (that's even harder) is difficult. this week i've started to notice that i'm getting full more easily but also hungry more quickly. i was having trouble remembering when this would happen. yesterday was the first day i didn't eat my usual cheese eggs for breakfast. truthfully i was so depressed and sick to my stomach that i stayed in bed til 10 am attempting to drown my sorrows in chocolate cake, m&m cookies, and egg nog. fyi- it didn't work. but i will note that i ate cheese eggs for dinner later in the day. i swear i'd eat it for every meal but i'm afraid i'd get burned out. and right now it's the only thing i for sure always look forward to. if i get burned out on this meal, i'm afraid i'd starve myself until this baby comes.
Gender: BOY! i really haven't thought about that much this week. i need to go through boy hand me downs that we have and start pulling stuff out and taking inventory.
What I miss: motivation. i want my house to be clean and picked up and organized and have delicious meals waiting for my husband when he gets home from work... but i want to enjoy doing it all like i used to. not sit in bed and feel guilty about it like i currently do.
Milestones: i'm due next month!
Theme: the week of being a single parent. my christopher was gone for most of this week and i'm celebrating that abigail and i were able to stay busy with fun activities and that i did so well physically and emotionally and everything. sometimes being pregnant can be difficult but this week it was easier than usual.Milestones: i'm due next month!
Extra: i feel really good physically. it's not like my body has no pains ever but i think it's pretty comparable to the usual back aches etc that i feel even not pregnant. mostly the struggles are just emotional although they're still bearable. the hardest thing is that i just constantly feel like i suck. i suck at my calling, i suck at serving others, i suck at keeping my house clean and organized, i suck at regularly making meals and actually eating things before i have to throw it out, and i suck at using my time wisely because i have no motivation. energy? yes. motivation? no. i am the epitome of lazy and it makes me feel so crappy about myself. i just feel guilty all the time for stuff that i know i should be doing. but instead of getting to work and making things better, i just waste my time online in attempt to forget about all the stuff i don't care about enough to actually get done. it makes me thing about the girl from confessions of a shopaholic that would just throw away her credit card bills without even opening them because she was trying to run away from it all. that's what i do.
i'm really over this hyper sensitivity to smells. last night christopher got a bowl of cereal and brought it to the bedroom to eat it so he could hang out with me (i was laying in bed... see above "no motivation") and before he was even three feet away, i could smell that it was captain crunch cereal. seriously?! since when is it normal to smell someone's cereal from three feet away?! and then when he finished i was like "what else are you eating? why does it smell fruity over there?" thinking he'd also brought some halloween candy or something. but he kept telling me he only had the cereal and nothing else. then five minutes later i realized that i had an open yogurt container sitting next to me that was left over from baby's lunch. and i hate being able to smell myself even if it's just lotion or deodorant or something it just grosses me out. and the smell of baby's hair is still gross to me too. and her feet. yesterday we were driving home from the playground and all the sudden i was hit with a nasty smell that smelled just like baby girl's sweaty feet (it was hot yesterday) and sure enough when i went to get her out of her carseat she'd taken off her shoes and was just kicking her bare feet around. we didn't have the windows down, she's still rear facing, and the air wasn't on in the car and somehow i still smelled it. i'm glad this isn't something i dealt with last pregnancy.
last time around we didn't do anything to prepare for abigail until two weeks before my due date. we went to walmart one night and bought a crib and changing table and a glider and bedding and diapers and called it good. i didn't pack my hospital bag until i was in labor, which was a full five days after my due date. we didn't do any of that "decorate the nursery" stuff either. then or ever. or ever here either. this time i keep feeling like i should prepare since we're in a house (last time we were in one apartment and about to move to another) but it's just not happening. both my kids will need bedrooms and i haven't done a thing to prepare for either! also, this time around, i want to learn some sort of relaxation techniques to help me during labor since last time it went way faster than i'd anticipated. and i've read like 50 pages of one book... that's it. i'm running out of time to learn and practice.
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| taken 11.9.12 at 33 weeks, 1 day |
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| taken 11.9.12 at 33 weeks, 1 day |
1 comment:
love your skinny jeans! especially with the rips :)
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