the terrible horrible no good very bad day

*i'm not quite sure why anyone actually enjoys reading my blog posts - unless they enjoy major overshare - but this is one of those posts that is unhappy and really not worth your time*

my story starts last night when my husband fell asleep on the great room floor sometime between 8 and 8:30.  this really isn't that uncommon for him to fall asleep that early or for him to fall asleep somewhere other than our bed, but this time it made me mad mad mad mad.  he was semi-awoken sometime after 11 to the sound of me yelling at our two kids who where each crying in their respective cribs.  i really love my life but it is not always rainbows and butterflies over here in the hillier home.  anyways, we all eventually went to sleep and we all slept until morning.

this morning i woke up sometime around 8:30 to the sound of abigail crying in her crib.  crying because she "spit up."  aka, her pj's and her crib and all her stuffed animals and blanket and crib bumper and everything else... soaked with some sort of mysterious clear vomit.  while i was getting her changed, she kept gag/burp/vomiting and no matter how many times i said "spit up on the blanket!" she would try to catch it in her hands, panic, and then use my hands instead.

then brady woke up.  i told abigail to lay her head on a blanket and to use that if she needed to spit up.  so i go in to get brady and he has the fullest diaper ever and is soaked head to toe.  so i get him changed and sit down to nurse him.  he'd only been nursing for a minute when abigail came in.  and then the whining started again... which meant one thing.  she came over and started spitting up.  in. my. hand.  and while my cup runneth over, so did my hand.  onto the glider.  while i was nursing brady.  so one hand is holding brady and another hand is trying to catch abigail's vomit.  i wipe it on the blanket hanging on the glider and tell her to use that to spit up.  and then brady decides actually watching this fun is way better than nursing so i put him on the floor and try to help abigail.  the next thirty minutes was abigail "spitting up" everywhere but on the millions of blankets i gave her as options and at one point, i literally tossed brady on the floor to come to her aid.  luckily he didn't cry and actually he rolled himself over to abigail and placed a comforting hand on her back while she was finally leaning over a blanket.  one plus of not having much hair is that i didn't need to hold it out of her face.  do i get optimistic points for that?

so then i stripped brady's bed, abigail's bed, and gathered up all the blankets, and stuffed animals, and that crib bumper and carried everything downstairs to the washer.  it didn't all fit but i started a load.  brady was needy, abigail was sensitive and throwing fits.  eventually i put her in front of the tv and put brady down for a nap.  i attempted to get in the shower but that didn't happen because abigail said she wanted to shower too.  but she needed to eat first so she could have a bite of cookie she saw me eating.  and during this time i stepped in a whole lot of wet carpet which was disgusting.  the clear vomit strikes again and ABIGAIL FOR THE LOVE JUST PUKE ON THE BLANKET AND NOT FOUR INCHES TO THE LEFT OF THE BLANKET ON THE CARPET!!!  so i got her watermelon  and she ate it and i gave her some cookie but she threw a massive tantrum because she wanted an entire cookie.  ummm no.  that tantrum lasted for at twenty minutes and then started up again when we got out of the shower.  now it's sometime between noon and 1 and i'm pretty sure abigail's stomach is feeling better.

the day kept going down down downhill and three loads of laundry later (and there's actually more dirty clothes in the washer just waiting for me to add more to make a full load) and scrubbing vomit and pee out of the carpet (i get that she's not feeling well but does that make you turn into a puppy and forget to go potty?!  i mean, two times in one day?!  she's only done this like three times EVER), i'm just a little bit done with today.  when my christopher texted me that he was on his way home at 5:30, i told him the plan was that i was going to bed and i would see him and abigail and brady in the morning.  and he was a-okay with that.  he knows he's in the doghouse.  he also knows i'm publicly shaming him right now.  accountability, right?!

the only bright side to my day (okay, that's a bit dramatic... there were some sweet moments mixed in my day) was taking dinner to this family in the ward that i've never met before and to one of my friends in yw.  i didn't even get to meet that one family but talked to the husband on the phone twice and he texted me again later to say thanks and the wife was texted too.  and my friend that i talked to and hung out with when i dropped the meal by... i love her to death and it made my day to spend that time with her.  i haaaaaate taking meals to people.  i'm so insecure about my cooking and what if someone doesn't like what i made and if it's too healthy or too unhealthy or not filling enough or blah blah blah and i just get so stressed about it.  but tonight?  it's superficial but it helped improve my night with the gracious thanks i received for these simple meals i made.  i most certainly was not getting the "thanks for keeping us alive another day" gratitude from my bodily-fluids-from-every-orifice children.  today was a bad bad bad day (i mean, i yelled and THREW abigail's hair bow across the kitchen because it wouldn't stay in her hair) but was saved by small and special tender mercies.

here's to tomorrow being a better day.  it'll be better, right?  it has to be...