light at the end of the tunnel

did i mention yet how baby girl turned into jekyll and hyde last week?  sunday night/monday actually.  well, today i was able to see the light at the end of the tunnel... she was less of a menace today.  took a longer nap, ate like a 400 pound man, played on her own some, and even laughed!  oh hallelujah!

john's birthday dinner

today, honey's brother, john, turned 18 and we had a lot of fun celebrating with him tonight!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

check back later.... three of these are supposed to be videos.  and when i get more sleep and more patience with blogger, i will grant you those three wishes videos your my heart so desires.

two sundays

we have 9 to 12 church.  when you have a toddler, this is just fantastic because we have time to wake up and eat breakfast and then go to church for three hours, eat lunch at a normal time, and then have nap time from 1-4.  this is infinitely better than 1-4 church.  1-4 church is right during nap time AND it just kinda eats up your whole sunday.  having 9-12 church makes it feel like two sundays because you go to church and do that whole thing and then when you get home you have 12 more hours until you go to sleep (if your bedtime is midnight like mine may be).  i was telling this to one of my laurels when i was hanging out with her after church yesterday.  she texted me four hours later to say "i get what you mean about having two sundays.  it allll makes sense now.  i have gotten so much done and i feel like there's so much extra time."  yup!  if there was any doubt before, it is gone now.  i know i'm right because staci said so.

so you tell me, would you have been able to pack in this much stuff with anything but 9-12 church?  i attest there is just no way.

7:30 bishopric meeting
9-12 church
1:00 lunch and nap
3:00 playtime (blast those ongoing short naps!)
4:30 bbq dinner with bri and kelsey!
6:00 youth baptism
8:00 home taught
11:30 lights out

words can't express how much i love sundays.  they're positively magical.

would you rather?

i think i've made it very clear how i felt about living in california.  but just for funzies (for some reason i can't say that without thinking of my only brother walter), let's beat a dead horse.

every time i meet someone new and they find out that we moved here from california, they have to ask how i liked it out there.  i had that conversation several times, just this week.  two days ago it was with a new neighbor that just moved in down the street.  she lived in california for a while too.  the subject turned to how everyone in california thinks it's the best weather ever when in reality, it's just moderate temperatures with nearly constant clouds.  and the rainy winters.  sooo much rain.  i know it's not ALWAYS sunny here, but it's sunnier here than in california and i've seen stats that back me up on that one.  so today i was enjoying yet another day of glorious weather.  i know it's gorgeous in georgia too because i've seen (via skype) that everything there is green and in bloom.  seriously intoxicating.  anyways, i was curious what my weather would be like if we were still at stanford.  

well, let's go ahead and play a game of "would you rather."  

click to enlarge

 because i would rather be exactly right where i am right now.  i'm seeing life through sunshine lit glasses.

plumping up

after i had baby girl, i hung on to quite a few pregnancy pounds for a good six months.  and i looked pregnant for five of those months.  i was afraid to go in public without my baby because i was terrified someone would ask when i was due.  and then, since i have trouble eating when i travel, that christmas break, all of the weight just melted off.  and then some more.  and then for a whole year my appetite just seemed pretty in check that i wouldn't want to eat unless i was really hungry and everything was alright.  i was a little thinner than i'd like but it wasn't a problem.  then this past christmas came around and we were (well, honey was) getting anxious that we weren't getting pregnant.  well, it's not like i get pregnant easily in the first place and quite possibly it wasn't helping that i was so thin.  sooo i decided to put on a few pounds.  well, more like 15.  i needed to get back up to where i was when i got pregnant with baby girl.  we'd tried for over two years to get pregnant with her with no success.  i put on an extra ten pounds and BAM, got pregnant right away.  sooo i decided that was my magic weight and that's where i wanted to be.  problem was, i had zero appetite.  my stomach wasn't registering hunger... and even when it was, i didn't actually want to eat.  it's like when you're sick and you don't even want to eat your very favorite foods.  it wasn't fun.  to say the least.

in january i stepped it up a notch.  adding a pad of butter to everything i ate.  tons of cheese.  full fat yogurt.  huge spoonfuls of full fat sour cream on everything mexican.  using half and half in recipes instead of just whole milk.  soups with tons of butter and cream.  tons of carbs and full fat cream cheese.  nothing was working.

but last week i thought i noticed pants fitting a little tighter in the waist.  it was working!  i was gaining weight!  and then more recently i noticed that my stomach was sticking out.  and yesterday and today it's been sticking out a lot.  more than a lot.  what the heck?!  i only gain weight in my hips and thighs... why do i have a belly now?  who knows.  but let me just say that i in the last five days, i went from super skinny to looking five months pregnant.  and i can assure you that it is not due to a baby in my belly.

sooo riddle me this.  why do i look severely pregnant?!  and how can i transfer that "full with child" look to something a little more beyonce?  because one thing way crappier than not being able to get pregnant, is seeing your pregnant looking belly day in and day out, knowing that there's no baby inside.  

and goodness help me because i know the rumors are sure to follow.  i look halfway pregnant and my kid is going to be two in a matter of months.  in mormon world that's about as simple to put together as 2+2=4.  so, i already went ahead and told christopher tonight (and no, i'm not even joking about this) and i'll tell you too, should you hear rumors floating around that i'm with child, practice this line...

"oh, she's not... she just looks it."

because i kid you not, i've been practicing it myself.

this was taken in january in dubai... after a big breakfast.  imagine me now about ten times this big.

this was the breakfast.

in summary:  "oh, i'm not.  i just look it."

the onion

forgive me if i already posted these pictures.  pictures come in spurts and when there's some, there's a ton and when there's not a lot, there's basically none.  like right now.  so here are old pictures... of an onion.  this blog is going downhill, that's for sure.

anyways, a few weeks ago i noticed something unique about my view of the fruit bowl.  it included something new and different.

like an onion sprout!

i checked my other onion i had hiding away and found this:

 

i've resolved now to not get so behind on my onion consumption.  although i have to admit that even though it proved my lack of a hand in cooking, i felt some sort of strange success that i unknowingly grew something.  when i start getting into house plants i'll have to pull from my extensive experience of growing onions... by accident.

ps- sorry for the lack of interesting posts.  baby girl has been a bit of a challenge, leading to very few pictures and a very tired me.  last night i was in bed by 7 30.  i didn't go to sleep until 8 30, but still... i was in bed for an hour before our baby was.  that says something.  it was really great i got some extra sleep because my sleeping in baby woke up at 6 30 this morning.  so when baby's typical wakeup time rolled around at 9 30 it was a little weird to me that we'd already been awake for 3 hours.  we got in some great cuddle time but i'm really hoping for nothing earlier than 8 tomorrow.  the lack of sleep in only perpetuating her grumpiness.

yesterday's pictures

i have no idea what i've been doing this week.  seriously, i spend most days bored, but unmotivated to do anything to change it, and i haven't really had anything that i need to do errand wise but i've been staying away from playdates because every time baby threw up i always thought it was the last (hasn't been since sunday night!  woohoo!) and really, she's just been sensitive and clingy and back and forth between screaming tantrums and snuggling with her head on my shoulder.  she hasn't played with her toys in almost a week and it's weird that they're never out and i don't have to clean them up... ever.  anyways, all of that is to say that i'm bored and boring and haven't even really taken pictures... because what's there to even take pictures of?!  (good thing my dad doesn't read this blog.  he would be totally bothered that i just ended that with a preposition.  i'm sure he would also be extremely bothered by my blatant misuse of capital letters, punctuation, and made up words like "gonna.")  

so here are some pictures from yesterday.  since baby has lost interest in all toys, playing has been mostly dress up and pretend with all of my kitchen stuff.  and her sick days seem to have turned her into a tv junkie.  but we'll save thinking about that dilemma for another day.

the pink snow boots.  the only pair of her shoes that she can put on herself over her footie pjs.

 

 

and my flats work great over footies too

 

baby walked round and round and round and just all over the first floor of our house.  even though chris and i don't wear shoes on the carpet (because goodness knows it's bad enough), i let baby girl wear my shoes all over because it was making her happy.  the funny part though was that when i went to check on her i found that she had gone to play in her tent.  but not without taking off her shoes first.  precious.

 

hi there!

i loooove the view out our kitchen.  does anyone know when they start putting cows out to graze?   i can't wait!

and i'm not sure why but baby girl has random started to gnaw on things.  not often at all but tonight she was intent to bite through our remote.  where did this come from?  so random.

 hopefully tomorrow will be more fun.  we're going to the park with friends.  yeay for warm weather!

rockin' out

i can hear her singing just looking at this picture...   doesn't it look like she's just having a blast rocking out?  

or maybe she was just looking to get a little more comfortable by sitting down to brush her teeth.

 

i guess we'll just never know...

making new friends

when i got called into young womens i was scared to death.  there's something really intimidating to me about teenagers.  something about that teenager know it all sort of thing.  they know the latest fashions and trends and music and basically everything pop culture.  i really don't know how to describe it but it's like teenagers have a special teenagers only club where they make the rules and you don't know them.  someone tell me you know what i'm talking about because i seriously can't think how to describe it.

anyways, when i got the calling and especially when i walked into young womens the first day, i was so nervous and scared.  like the new girl walking into a new school where everyone already has their friends and basically they were doing just fine without you thank you very much.  it was like a mountain in front of me and i had major fear of rejection.  it seemed so far off, maybe even impossible, that i would be able to make new friends.  how on earth could i connect with these girls?  i'm old now.  i don't even listen to the radio or watch tv and i hate shopping and can't even remember the last time i got my hair cut, much less, styled.

well, it's been two months and...  i'm loving it.  these girls are so awesome and i love hanging out with them.  i feel like we're connecting more and maybe they're just flattering and trying to make me feel included (I DON'T CARE!  I'LL TAKE IT!) but i feel like they actually like me and enjoy being around me like i enjoy being around them.  when i went with the soccer game on saturday it was fun.  tonight when we made a few visits to some elderly women in the ward we had sooo much fun.  there was so much talking (shouting/yelling/y'know) and laughing and just.... i dunno.  i don't know how to describe it.  it was like a movie or a commercial of people having fun.  as we drove to the visits, we were all in the laurel adviser's mini van and shouting stories and making jokes and laughing.  they have such incredible enthusiasm and it's so contagious.  they're always coming up with new fun stuff we should do or try out.  i can feel it... we're clicking.

when you're starting out, it's so hard to feel anything but hopelessly overwhelmed,  but it's only been two months and i can see so much progress.  i know i have a far way to go, but i'm taking it a day at a time and i can feel myself getting there.  i'm getting to know the girls.  i'm getting more comfortable around them.  and the best part is that the more this happens the less i consciously think about it.  it's not me being yw president.  it's me just going to hang out with the girls and be their friend.  as the days pass, it feels less and less like something on my mind because it's my calling, and more and more just... natural.

i really can't describe it so i'll just go ahead and stop trying, but really, i'm just so grateful for this opportunity and full of love for these girls and happy.  so very very happy.  wish me luck that my good fortune continues!

food and recipes

here are a few things i've made this past week...

corn chowder-  i actually probably added equal parts corn, carrot, celery, and let's be honest, onion.  so i don't know if i'd call this corn chowder so much as veggie chowder but goodness knows i love anything with a roux so it was a winner.  the trick is to make sure your veggies are super tiny and super soft.  and that second stick of butter?  unnecessary.  i think paula deen must have stock in butter.

i made this coconut tres leches hot chocolate last week and quite frankly was extremely disappointed.  i was especially sad because after my sick weekend, absolutely nothing sounded good... except this!  but it seemed too thick* and too sweet and too coconutty.  i couldn't figure out how all of my favorite things (it's just milk, coconut milk, sweetened condensed milk, and cocoa powder) couldn't make something i'd love.  and since when can anything be too coconutty?  well, it can't.  i figured it out... it was just too soon for my stomach and tastebuds.  i tired it again when my appetite had come back and let me tell you... THIS IS A WINNER.

the best though was this copycat costa vida/ cafe rio sweet pork recipe.  you can make all the parts but basically i just made the pork and then used short cuts for everything else.  ranch dressing out a bottle works fine for me!  but seriously, it was amazing.  this is going to be a staple now.  and it's cheap (like $1.75/lb) so you can get a 2 lb pork shoulder (the recommended cut for this according to my google research) for just a few dollars and it will feed several people for one meal or me for lots of meals!  the cheese and beans and tomatoes and rice and tortillas and everything else are cheap so this would make a good meal for if you have guests over.

ohhh and i made these deep south gooey butter bars.  when i first tried them i wasn't completely blown over.  and maybe that was because it was at the beginning of last week and again, my stomach just wasn't liking food yet again.  or maybe it was because these things are like crack and the more you eat them, the more you want them.  and the more you have, the more you want, and the more your body can handle them.  so at first i would eat a small bite and be done.  and by a few days later.  i could eat five times that much and still be going back for more.  i brought them to the soccer game on saturday and then yw loved them.  and ate the entire tupperware container i brought.

on the menu for tonight (if i can get my act together... i haven't even made the bed yet today) is this betty crocker beef stroganoff recipe.  i've never made beef stroganoff that didn't involve cream of mushroom soup or a box of hamburger helper... so this is kinda a big deal.

give me a link to best thing you've made lately!!!

*that coconut hot chocolate is not going to help you slim down for swimsuit season so much as it will help add some curves to get you that beach body you've always wanted.  i used whole milk and full fat coconut milk but you could use skim milk and light coconut milk if you want be more healthy.  i may even do that next time just so it's not so thick.

a long sick day

today has been long.

honey was up puking every 30 minutes last night.
7:30am this morning i went to bishop youth committee meeting and then headed back home.  couldn't take baby to church because she'd been puking.  couldn't leave her home with honey because he was still puking.
i was so sad to miss church.  first because i absolutely love it.  second because of course today was the day that practically all of our young women were there!  and literally half of the leaders were home with sick kids.
it was almost 70 degrees out today but there were 20mph winds so we couldn't go out to play.  i took baby in the yard for about 30 seconds before i got too afraid the wind would blow her up on the neighbors roof or something.
i took a much needed nap.  that was nice.  i'm in a bad cycle again staying up way too late.
baby girl was whiny and clingy all day.  i discovered i have almost zero patience for this.  i'm not used to an unpleasant child!
i was soooo happy for bedtime.  got baby in bed and finally started in on the young women stuff i had to work on.
11pm i heard baby crying.  opened the door to the scent of... you guessed it!  vomit!  all over baby girl, the crib, blankets, sheets, you name it...
i was sooo happy though that there was none in her hair (she hates baths and getting her hair washed) and none on the crib bumper since i hadn't put it back in the crib yet!  can you say "tender mercies" because i'm pretty sure that's what elder bednar was talking about.
stripped baby and the bed.  got her redressed and had her sit in the glider with some books while i got everything cleaned up and new sheets and stuff in the crib.
as i finished that up, baby puked all over herself, her books, and the glider.  i was not prepared for that.  i had a wipe on me but pretty much was just attempting to catch vomit with my bare hands.  moral: doesn't work.  don't try it.
restripped and dressed baby, cleaned the books and glider, rocked baby (ohhh she was soooo snuggly.  i was in heaven!) and put her down with a binky.
11:45pm started another giant load of pink laundry.
1:15am  crossing my fingers my honey and my baby feel better soon!

the small world of facebook

loooove when i get facebook surprises like this...

 

why yes, as a matter of fact, i did.  

WHADDUP LJ?!?!

my saturday: aka "plan R"

pictures from today.

baby girl wanted her daddy to take her outside.  so she put his socks on him.  

honey showed her this little freckle on her leg and now when you ask "where's your freckle?!"  she points to it.

she allllmost looks like a girl.

here... not so much.  i imagine when we get a son, he'll look like this.

i went to a soccer game with a car full of young women while honey took baby girl with him to coach nate's hockey game.  then i ran to the grocery store for a few things while the neighbor kids pushed baby girl around in a wagon.  when we were finally reunited after lunch, i picked baby girl up to put her down for nap and she just snuggled right into me.  this never ever happens.  so i had honey take pictures.  it was the cutest thing ever because she kept lifting her head up to kiss my neck (i kiss her neck allll the time... because how could you resist?!) and although i probably should have seen a red flag about this, i didn't... i just kept soaking it up.

so sleepy

best three minutes of my life

we had an awesome date night planned for tonight.  honey and baby and i were going to go to dinner and a nuggets game with my brother and sister in law and honey's client's family.  they were bringing their little girl who's a few months older than baby girl and all week that kid has been so excited to play with baby.  so basically, it was going to be a pretty awesome night.  

dinner reservations were in denver at 5 so at 4, i went up to baby's room to wake her up.  i opened the door to find her awake and standing in her crib.  when i got closer, i saw and smelled vomit.  and when i got even another bit closer, i realized that she was still puking.  faaabbbbulous.  no time to clean it up, so i changed baby's clothes and we were out the door.  this was the third random vomit incident this week and i just kept trying to think of what new food i could be feeding baby that would cause her upset tummy.  i figured it couldn't be too bad (like what i had last weekend) because she never seemed upset or in any discomfort at all.  i asked honey if i should stay home with her.  he said something along the lines of "naaaahhhhh.  the client's little girl is soooo excited to see baby girl and plus, i'm sure she's fine now.  there's no way she's going to puke again tonight.  still, i threw in a change of clothes for her and we were on our way to pick up bri and kelsey.  everything was good and we were all super excited for our night... until three minutes after we left their house when they said from the back seat "uhhh, abigail is throwing up."  "she's throwing up so much it looks like she's having trouble catching her breath."  "she's still throwing up.  it just keeps coming."  wonderful.  so i decided i should probably stay home with baby.  honey wanted to leave her with a babysitter because once again, "there's no way she's going to throw up again tonight!" but i didn't want to chance it.

so that's how my night when from plan A, far down the alphabet to somewhere around plan QRSSTUV or something.  i spent the next five ours doing several loads of laundry.  a load of pinks, a load of crib bumper and carseat cover, and a load of whites to make sure that mattress cover got good and clean.

i have to laugh when things say "wash with like colors" because honestly, what's the other option?!?!
i looove pink laundry.

punishment... put behind bars.

well what would you know but elmo saves the day again.  

i made my own contraption for how to wash the non detachable straps.

dinner: two saltines and a sippy of milk

typical

not in the mood to be photographed

after washing my crib bumper "with like colors" i hung it to dry.  first time i've ever washed it and let me tell you... it's a pain.  and i haven't even had to tie those millions of ties back on yet.

i think she was having bad flashbacks of when i used to take pictures of her in this chair every day.  she's glad i gave up on that.

looks so naked without the bumper.  poor baby girl won't be able to burrow into it tonight.

my make shift bumper.  

and i set the other end up just like i normally do.  y'know... for consistency.

reading pride and prejudice.  her favorite page is "two rich gentlemen" because mr. darcy and mr. bingly have a hunting dog with them and baby likes to make it bark.

  

so that's the story of how my super awesome saturday went from a 10 down to something below a 10.  but if i'm completely honest, i still really loved my night tonight.  it wasn't a nice dinner or nuggets game as a family with friends.  but it was hanging out with my baby... taking care of her because i'm her mom.  it felt like an honor.  like only i could do that job the very best.  granted, she didn't barf anymore and she acted completely happy and fine but still... i felt special that our baby needed to spend the night at home and that i was the one that got the honors of going with her.

if i've said it once, i've said it a million times... when it comes to my baby girl, i find that even my most frustrating/disappointing/annoying/whatever days/nights are infinitely better than even my very very very best days/nights before i had her.  and i'm not just saying that.  it's the truth.  like i never got to experience real happiness before i had her.  the good thing though is that i never knew that until after.  ;-)

and uhh, not to end on a downer but my poor christopher got home from the game tonight not feeling too hot and within about 10 minutes i was listening to what sounded like honey barfing up everything he's eaten in the last four years.  sooo at least he'll hopefully get to sleep off a good chunk of it tonight, but still... how bout you send a few prayers his way?