buttered egg noodles and chicken

i made up a new recipe last night based on what i was in the mood for.  butter, egg noddles, and grilled chicken.  i looked online thinking for sure there was a simple recipe for me, but couldn't find exactly what i wanted.  so i attempted it myself... because it was so simple.

i filled a pot with water and added a chicken bullion.  once it was boiling, i cooked 8ozs of egg noodles.

while all of that was happening, i put a lot of butter in a pan and added one costco freezer pack of salted and peppered chicken tenderloins and cooked that, making sure to scrape up all of the deliciousness on the pan.

then i removed the chicken and melted more butter (making sure not to clean out the pan at all) and added my drained egg noodles.  then i just added salt and parsley and stirred it around a bit.  i was going to add lemon but totally spaced it and didn't even remember until this morning.  i also thought about adding a little sour cream but forgot about that too.  turns out, noddles and butter and salt are super delicious on their own!  after a bit, i put noodles in a bowl and added my chicken.

so so delicious and simple and both kids and myself (honey is out of town) loved it.

9 weeks

How far along:  9 weeks  (10.30.14)

Total weight gain/loss: -2 lbs

Maternity clothes:  yes... but only because i wear maternity clothes as part of my regular wardrobe. 

Sleep:  not super consistent one way or the other.  but i have been continuing to have some pretty crazy dreams.  monday night i didnt take my unisom because i was so sick and close to throwing up.  bad move because i slept so horribly that night and apparently i was thrashing so much in my sleep that honey was wide awake by 2:30 (and consequently gave up trying to sleep and decided to start his day) and really it was just bad news.  but as long as i take it, i pretty much fall asleep within 10 minutes and sleep all the way through the morning.  to bad it does nothing for my crazy dreams though!

Best moment this week:  wednesday afternoon.  i ate some tomatoes from jodis garden and homemade bread that andrea gave me and my belly actually felt great!  my headache and hunger were dull and my nausea was extremely limited and it's the most normal i've felt in weeks! 

Movement:  negative.  but i'm sure that little kid is just moving and shaking like crazy.

Food cravings:  there have been times this week that i've enjoyed eating!  words can not express how this lifts my spirits! things i enjoyed eating this week and wished i had more of: red white and blue dippin dots and those nasty synthetic cheese nachos (both at the avs game tuesday night), tomatoes from jodi's garden (wednesday morning/afternoon), milk (it's weird to me that it's just another thing i have to force myself to consume... but there have been a few times that it's really hit the spot for me).  friday night we went to texas roadhouse and i enjoyed rolls and honey butter, my steak (but only the rarest parts), and the fried pickles.  sunday night and monday night were especially bad for me (nights are my hardest time) and tuesday morning i finally threw up (maybe because i didn't take my unisom/b6 the night before?) which settled my stomach for a time although the actual throwing up sucked.  not like anyone loves throwing up, but i'm not one of those people that's petrified of it.  it's not a big deal to me.  but tuesday morning really sucked because i hadn't had anything to eat or drink for over 13 hours and my stomach was completely empty, so it was pretty much just acid.  and it lasted for seriously four or five minutes because my stomach kept going at it since not much was coming out.  abigail was sweet about it though because, while it was happening, she went to her room and brought down a blanket for me and laid it by my feet to help me feel better.  my goal for this week is to email my doctor and maybe try zofran or something else.  the phenergan does absolutely nothing for me and while the unisom/b6 helps, i still spend most of my days in bed and many of my nights dry heaving.

Symptoms: nausea, vomiting, headaches, fatigue, crazy dreams...

Gender:  my guess is still solid that it's a girl.  i'm going to be 100% thrown if it's not.  christopher and i started talking about names.  but only girl names.  i just feel like the possibility of this being a boy is slim enough that we can think about boy names after 20 weeks, it it comes to that.  in the mean time, i'm going to be trying to convince honey to love the same girl names i do.  ; )

What I miss:  not ever feeling great.  and not feeling like a failure of a wife and mother.  

Milestones:  i'm pretty sure this is when an embryo turns into a fetus... so that's a pretty big accomplishment for us. 
Theme: the week of getting a belly.  it popped. 
What's different this time around:  with abigail, i always hated eating, and while i was nauseas and threw up about once or twice a week, the worst part was that i always had a horrific migraine and was STARVING.  this time, i feel like my headache and hunger isn't as bad because i'm able to find things that i can eat, even if small amounts make me feel terribly nauseas.  so, i'm really thankful it's not as bad...or i guess it's just bad in a different way.  also, still weird that my morning sickness gets progressively worse throughout the day.

Extra:  i definitely got a belly this week!  it happened fast... like within just a day or two.  i was really thin when i got pregnant this time.  my hip bones stuck out farther than my concaved stomach.  and not just when i was laying down, i mean even when i was just standing.  when i went in for my ultrasound at 6.5 weeks and laid on my back, my ribs and hip bones were jutting out so bad, the doctor even seemed a little thrown by it and commented on it.  so it was really obvious to me when all of the sudden, it hurt to lay on my stomach.  and my stomach became clearly rounded and sticks out farther than my hip bones when i'm standing... and especially if i'm sitting/reclining in bed.  at our ward trunk or treat on saturday, i was wearing my yellow and tan striped ann taylor shirt and when i came home and saw myself in the mirror, i about died because i looked like i had a spare tire around my middle.  holy crap, i hope no one was paying attention to that because it was noticeably obvious.  i looked like i'd gained at least 7-10 lbs... all in my mid section.  if anyone has been keeping an eye on my belly for signs that i'm pregnant... saturday would be an obvious confirmation for them.  sooo, now i'm sad that i haven't taken any belly pictures.  i just assumed i'd start at 12 or 13 weeks but now i've already missed the drastic changes that happened this past week.  when i showered the other day, i seriously just stared at my belly the whole time.  i am so so so thrown how it grew so fast!  pregnancy is pretty amazing like that.  i should have known it was coming though because i was showing early (like 10 weeks) with abigail and i was almost 20 lbs heavier with her at this point.  this time, it's my third, and i had no where to hide any bump.  good thing it's kind of cold here and i can hide things just fine in a hoodie.  i've wanted to tell people about this pregnancy since early on, and for some reason, i just haven't.  only a small handful of people know.  i don't know what's holding me back.  i guess i just hate the initial "i'm pregnant" part of it.  can i send out a blast email?  or just post something on my blog?  my biggest reluctance is for anyone right now trying to get pregnant... when that's me, it's insanely difficult to hear anyone announce their pregnancy.  i don't want to be that person.  

once again, i've spent the majority of each day laying in bed.  it's not like i'm in such severe nausea and stomach pain that i can't even stand up, but having a bad headache and severe hunger, and the weakness and fatigue resulting from that, and the nausea and uneasiness that come from eating... i rarely have a good enough reason to stand up.  ; )  i take abigail to preschool each tuesday and thursday, and i get groceries every 10 days or so, and i go to church on sunday.... but other than that, i pretty much just lay in bed.  and eat my food in bed.  and i sleep a ton.  i take a full unisom (sleep pill) and about 50 mg of vitamin b6 each night and i think it helps take the edge off my nausea.  but the unisom really does knock me out... and i love it.  i have crazy dreams when i sleep, and it's gotten really uncomfortable for me to roll over or lay on my stomach, but for the most part, sleep is my escape from feeling crappy all the time.  i've been a night owl my whole life, but now i hate nights because my nausea gets noticeably worse starting around 4 or 5 o'clock and leads to dry heaving between 7 and 9.  so now, i put the kids to bed anytime after 7 and then crawl into my bed immediately after.  this week, honey was gone in south dakota for two nights.  the second night, i had the kids in bed by 7:45, and i was in bed with the lights out by 7:55.  and i was asleep sometime in the 8 o'clock hour.  and... get this... i didn't fully wake up til 10:45 the next morning and didn't get out of bed til noon.  i frequently sleep for 10-12 hours... or more.  now i understand the appeal of sleeping pills!

i had an afternoon this week that i didn't feel too bad and i was able to get so much done!  i did three loads of laundry and actually folded them and put everything away!  keeping up with house responsibilities isn't something totally huge, but it does take small effort, consistently throughout the day/week and if you can't do that... basically everything falls apart.  all day, every day, i keep thinking about that story of the wife that stays in bed and tells her husband "well today, i didn't do it" because that's totally my life.  hoping that it won't be long before i wake up on a saturday and tell christopher we should take the kids on an adventure instead of just wanting to lay in bed all day and hoping that bedtime comes soon.  i suck. 

Butter

In case there was any doubt that these are my kids...

They've started sneak-eating straight up butter when I'm not around. Once last week and then again today. It was pretty much a full stick this morning when I buttered my toast. Now? Not so much. 

Last week, they were at least dipping wheat thins in it, but this time it was just with their hands I think. My kids have gotten very michevious in the last several weeks and I'm going to have to start locking up all of the crayons, scissors, and ...butter. 

Any suggestions?

8 weeks

How far along:  8 weeks  (10.23.14)

Total weight gain/loss: -2 lbs

Maternity clothes:  yes... but only because i wear maternity clothes as part of my regular wardrobe. 

Sleep:  not awesome.  i've had two more dreams about miscarriage and a million more dreams that are so strange and detailed, it would take me years to fully write out.  i don't ever really feel like i'm asleep... it's more like i'm laying in bed, watching a movie on my bedroom ceiling.  the plus side is that i don't feel sick or have a headache while i'm asleep so even though it's not a complete escape, it offers some relief.  for that reason, i've taken up sleeping ridiculous amounts of hours.  friday night i went to bed by 9 and slept for 12 hours.  when i woke up on saturday, i had honey make us all french toast.  i ate some and then went back to bed to lay down and let it settle.  and then somehow i fell asleep and didn't wake up until 1:30.  because who doesn't need a 2.5 hour nap after they just slept for 12 hours?  i've started sometimes taking a half or whole unisom at night.  and that knocks me out wonderfully.    

Best moment this week:  mehhh.... this is will sound terrible and ungrateful but i'm not really thinking of anything in particular right now.

Movement:  nope.

Food cravings:  i hate eating.  monday, i literally had a cup and a half of milk, four slices of french bread (toasted and buttered), and some pumpkin seeds... that was it from sunday night when i went to bed, until tuesday morning when i woke up.  tuesday, i ate at least 8 slices of toasted french bread, and at least 30 ounces of milk... and even some sausage stuffed french loaf.  i was eating a lot more frequently and feeling considerably more in control.  it was very empowering. but then i threw up.  and so it begins...

Symptoms: headache, nausea, vomiting, food aversion to everything, fatigue, 

Gender:  since this pregnancy is mirroring abigail's... i'm still thinking girl.

What I miss:  having good days. i haven't been blogging lately... because i normally just blog my happy moments that i'm afraid of forgetting.  who wants to hear me talk about how i lay in bed all day and haven't done laundry in two weeks? not me.  but i do miss good days.  tuesday was a day that would have been great except for the fact that i felt crappy.  it's like i'm living my life through nausea colored glasses.  

Milestones:  i threw up.  can that be my milestone this week? it gets worse before it gets better.
Theme: the week of feeling sick 
What's different this time around:  ehhh, some days i feel like i'm feeling better than i did during abigail's pregnancy, but it's hard to know for sure because i never kept any notes on it.  but i'm pretty sure this is right on line with abigail's pregnancy... and not as easy as brady's... with him, i never threw up! 

Extra:  i pretty much just lay in bed as much as i possibly can and hope that time passes quickly until bedtime and that the days pass quickly until the next week and that hopefully everything passes quickly and that i won't be sick by mid december.

Hockey fans

A screenshot from today and a pic from a few weeks ago. 

I sure do love that we're into hockey season again! 

Hockey fans

A screenshot from today and a pic from a few weeks ago. 

I sure do love that we're into hockey season again! 

Chick fil a mom valet

I wish I would have known about this yesterday! Since I was just there eating my chicken biscuit in the car in the parking lot because I didn't feel like juggling kids and food inside. 

Here's a description I found on another website... "What it is: Going out to eat with kids is always a hassle, but mom valet at Chick-Fil-A makes it a little easier.  All you do is head through the drive thru when you arrive at the restaurant.  Make your order and say that you want to use the mom valet.  They will ask you a few questions like whether you want a high chair or placemats and what condiments you want.  Then, you pay and pull around into the parking lot.  When you head into the restaurant with your kids in tow they will have all of your food set up at the table with high chair and condiments waiting for you!"

Just another reason to love chick fil a. 

Ps- am I the only one who finds myself sweating it out in the morning, wondering if I'll be in time for a chicken biscuit?!

I won't lie, I literally said a prayer on the way there that I'd be able to get a chicken biscuit. Tender mercies. 

7 weeks

How far along:  7 weeks  (10.16.14)

Total weight gain/loss: -1.5 lb

Maternity clothes:  yes... but only because i wear maternity clothes as part of my regular wardrobe. 

Sleep:  not awesome but i took a full unisom on tuesday night and slept a full 12.5 hours.  from 9:20pm til 9:50am.  not that i've been super tired during the day, but i am pretty miserable during my waking hours... so any shortening of that misery is greatly appreciated.  the next night i only took half.  ; )

Best moment this week:  my appointment on monday.  so so happy to see my little bean and see and hear a heartbeat!  everything looks healthy and right on track!  as a side note... i'm not a fan of the np i met with... dr. parker.  maybe i'll shop around for a new np instead of struggling through it like i did with brady's pregnancy.

Movement:  just the unpleasant churning in my stomach.

Food cravings:  i hate eating.  i hate that it's a necessary part of my day.  i feel my very best about 30 minutes after i eat, because the nausea and hunger are reduced.  but the thing is, i kind of have trouble even enjoying that 45 minutes to an hour of not feeling so terrible because i'm already stressing about how that's going to wear off and then i'm going to have to eat again.  eating is the worst.  but, the upside?  my food aversions aren't as extreme as my pregnancy with abigail.  sometimes i can think of something that doesn't sound atrocious, and then i rush to eat it as soon as i possibly can.  this is great if it is something i can make.  not so great when it's something i don't have available to me.  at the grocery store tuesday night, chris had the cart and the kids, and i just picked up whatever i thought i could stomach.  which included a nice variety ranging from water chestnuts to fish sticks, to hash browns, to a totinos frozen pizza.  the winner was the frozen pizza.  just thinking about fish right now makes me want to vomit.  this morning, at 10:10, i was stressing about what i'd eat for breakfast since yesterday's eggs didn't go over well.  i thought to myself, "i bet i could eat a chick fil a chicken biscuit..." and then i looked at myself (still in bathrobe from taking a shower), brady (still in pjs), and abigail (dressed, thankfully), and announced to abigail to get her shoes on because we were headed out.  i threw on clothes, put clothes for brady in my purse, and got us all in the car.  who cares that i had wet hair and no make up? i made it there by 10:29 (it's 15 minutes away) and was glad they still had chicken biscuits available.  i ate mine in the car while i told the kids to just hang on.  it didn't sit terribly well, but i wasn't gagging while i was eating it.  hallelujah!

Symptoms: nausea 

Gender:  my thoughts are still girl.  although more from the nausea and food aversions than anything else.

What I miss:  not feeling like crap 24/7.  the last few nights, i've been going to bed as early as possible, just so i can escape the headache and hunger.  

Milestones:  i feel like seeing my babe and hearing a heartbeat is a pretty big deal, is it not?
Theme: the week of a messy house
What's different this time around:  with brady, i think this was the hardest week of my morning sickness, still trying to figure out the nausea and get my body back into eating (i have trouble eating sometimes when i travel, and especially did on that napa trip), with abigail, i was full swing miserable.  this pregnancy, i think i'm somewhere in the middle.

Extra:  i'm not gonna lie, i was counting down the days til my appointment because i was excited to see my babe, but maybe just as much because i was anxious to get some drugs in me that would make me like eating a little more and help me not feel so crappy.  big disappointment.  the doctor gave me generic phenergan and i've taken it a few times, not noticing much of any difference.  i do hate the nausea, but worse than that is that eating makes me want to gag and cry.  it didn't occur to me that phenergan wouldn't do anything for my aversion to food.  i tried to get vitamin b6 at walmart tuesday night (because i've heard good things about that too), but they were out of pretty much every b vitamin.  so, i just continue to struggle through it.  speaking of... i feel like crap all day, every day.  i can experience an hour or two during the day where i feel a little better... but for the most part, it's very unenjoyable.  so i lay in bed for hours on end while the kids take out every toy, puzzle piece, etc. that we have.  they've even drawn on the walls and windows with pen and crayon.  thankfully, that all came off super easy, but seriously?!?!  since when did i become the mother that neglects her children enough that they color pen on the bathroom walls and crayon all over abigail's windows?!  apparently sometime mid october 2014.  my house has been such a disaster.  and i don't even care most of the time because i feel so crappy.  the feeling is like when you're getting over the stomach flu and you hate eating but you're starving and your body is weak... combined with fast sunday... for those same reasons... and a constant headache/migraine that can't be shaken.  it's fine for a normal person because it only lasts 24-36 hours.  weeks on end though and i'm already wearing thin.  lucy came over yesterday and i was still in my bathrobe... at 2:30 in the afternoon.  and i hadn't showered in days.  puzzle pieces and flash cards and toys completely covered our great room but luckily abigail took the blame for that mess.  then the girls came into the kitchen (i was sitting on that little brown chair sipping milk and nibbling on tater tots) to ask if they could go to lucy's.  then lucy looks at the floor and is all "why are there tater tots on your floor?" so i tell her it's because brady had some in a bowl but he dropped it (true story... the bowl was still there next to the tater tots) and she giggled and shrugged it off with an "ohhh".  but then she looked up.  and all around.  and was all "wow... your kitchen is r e a l l y messy!" and all i could say was "yeah."  the floor was covered in toys and dried up scrambled eggs from that morning.  there was a broom in the corner where i'd swept up a pile before breakfast but never cleaned it up (moving my head in elevation is terrible), the kitchen table had just as many dried up scrambled eggs, but also all of our dirty breakfast plates and cups.  the sink was full of dirty dishes and they extended all down the counter.  the island was also covered.  actually, every surface in our kitchen was tainted.  my honey is wonderful though.  somehow, he just knew (although he's been coming home to this filth so it's not too hard to see the need) and came home at 3:00.  at the time, abigail was at lucy's and i was laying on brady's bedroom floor (still in my bathrobe, of course) while he cried in his crib and refused to lay down for nap.  honey just walked right in.  he hugged me, and kissed me, and layed next to me on the floor and held me.  then he told brady to go to sleep and left us.  he went straight downstairs and started on the dishes.  i eventually gave up on brady and left him in his crib crying.  when i got to the kitchen, honey just said, "it's okay... go get him... he can go to bed early tonight." so i turned around and went back upstairs.  even the landing at the top of our stairs was covered in toys and dress up clothes.  i got brady out of his crib and i was already crying.  i felt like such a failure, but at the same time, so so grateful.  my honey did huge amounts of dishes, finished unloading the only half unloaded dishwasher from three days before, and loaded all the new dishes and washed all of the big dishes by hand, and wiped all the counter tops, and swept the floors, and took out the trash, and everything else.  all in between taking phone calls and working from home.  all without saying anything to me.  no huge announcement about how awesome he was or how i should owe him big or how on earth do i keep letting the house get so messy every day.  just quiet service.  i told him about how i haven't showered in days, and i feel so crappy.  he carved a pumpkin with abigail and spent such quality time with her, he took brady on a jog so i could have some alone time since abigail was at lucy's, he didn't say anything about how he was eating cereal for dinner... again.  i told him weeks ago when i was starting to feel sick, that he would need to prep himself a bit for some changes and pick up the slack for me.  he sure took it to heart because he's been doing a whole lot of that lately.  i feel so bad for the guy, but so overwhelmed with gratitude.

6 weeks

How far along:  6 weeks  (10.9.14)

Total weight gain/loss: -1 lb

Maternity clothes:  yes... but only because i wear maternity clothes as part of my regular wardrobe.  i know it's strange, but yes, i regularly shop the maternity section for clothes to wear when i'm not pregnant.

Sleep:  not awesome.  i'm waking up several times a night, and even though i'm able to go back to sleep easily, it just feels very choppy and interrupted.  also, i'm having dreams every night and it's exhausting because i never actually feel like i'm sleeping.  also, i had my first bad pregnancy/miscarriage dream.  i was plagued with them throughout my pregnancy with abigail and luckily spared with brady's.  but i had a dream that i went in for my appointment, and we actually saw multiple babies (they were all stuck together but outside of my body?! it was like those red chilis you see hanging decoratively in the dessert, but with flesh colored gummy bears... because that's how babies look this early) but the flicker to signify a heartbeat wasn't obvious and was only barely visible in one or two of the gummy bear babies.  so the doctor and the nurse told me i was going to have a miscarriage and that i should go ahead and have surgery to get that show on the road and i was panicking and telling them that i wanted to wait and let things happen naturally and how could they even be so sure?! and then i put my head down on the counter there and just started bawling and thinking "of course... it was too perfect and too good to be true!" and then i woke up and holy cow was i so glad to still be pregnant.  my mantra so far this pregnancy has been basically that i'm pregnant right now, and for that, i am eternally grateful.

Best moment this week:  mom and dad coming to visit! and mom waiting on me hand and foot.  i've been feeling so crappy and it has been a lifesaver to have happy faces to keep me distracted and do my cooking and dishes and cleaning and childcare!  especially since chris has been out of town so much for work!  also, when i was at the grocery store on monday afternoon/evening, i got a phone call from my doctor's office saying that they wanted to reschedule my first appointment for much sooner than previously planned because my beta hcg numbers are so high.  woohoo!  

Movement:  just that constant and unpleasant churning of my upset stomach...

Food cravings:  i hate eating.  hate hate hate hate makes me want to cry and curl up in the fetal position and go to sleep and not wake up.  the nausea has been steadily getting worse.  within the last few days, i've gotten to the point that i can't eat food without gagging and taking slow, deep breaths with my eyes closed.  i am starving constantly and even when i'm able to force feed myself a normal amount of food that would typically satisfy me for breakfast or dinner or whatever, it doesn't even make a dent on my hunger.  super annoying and defeating.  i have found though that i feel my best about 30 minutes after i eat.  i feel super sick and nauseous before i eat and while i eat and after i eat, but once that settles down (i have to lay down while it all settles), then i'm at this little sweet spot where the food has taken the edge off my hunger and nausea and headache.  not great by any means, but it's as good as it gets right now. 

Symptoms: nausea (and the gagging, etc. that goes with it) and a literally constant horrendous headache that is with me every single minute of the day, even when i wake up during the night), lightheadedness. my constant lower backache has subsided pretty dramatically, and even though i'm really feeling it right now, because i've been sitting for over an hour in the same position, it's not really noticeable during the day.  probably because i'm too busy moaning about my hunger and nausea and headache.  also, weird, but i'd have to say another symptom of mine currently is burping.  i have no idea how i'm inhaling so much air but i burp frequently!  which i hate because every time i burp, i feel like i'm going to vomit.  which is always frightening... especially in public.  

Gender:  my gut and symptoms are all girl.  after my terrible morning sickness with abigail and my very manageable morning sickness with brady, i told honey i only wanted boys from here on out.  this time, it seems like i'm getting another girl.  

What I miss:  not feeling so crappy all the time.  i pretty much just lay down in fetal position all day and try to distract myself with random internet articles to take my mind off of how crappy i feel and how messy my house is getting with my constant neglect.

Milestones:  i got high and doubling hcg numbers! i've got a healthy pregnancy going on here!!!
Theme: the week of mom saving my life and my sanity.  we started her trip with fun and by the end, i was moaning on the sofa while she swept and mopped my kitchen floor.  
What's different this time around:  with abigail, i was well into the sickness and migraines at this point.  with brady, i felt 100% fine until 6 weeks and then tanked hard (the day before and day of walter's wedding and then for the following week when we were on the meritain trip in napa), and this time... i'm quickly catching up with abigail's pregnancy.  

Extra:  i'm happy to report that my beta hcg numbers came back great.  over 3100, and then over 7200, 48 hours later.  according to everything online, those numbers are really high for how far along i am.  christopher got excited at the possibility of twins. but i am hoping and confident that there is just one baby in there.  i'm loving that steph is only one week behind me and we're having fun riding this roller coaster together!  i'm so excited that she's pregnant (it's her first) but also so excited that we get to be pregnant at the same time and the little cousins can be best friends since she's due exactly a week after me and they'll be so close in age!

Knee elbows

"Mom, these reach all the way to my knee elbows."

Yes, they sure do. 

Long Friday

Friday morning, I actually slept in til 8:15 or 8:30 or something!  It was wonderful!  I've been waking up this week at 6:40 and haven't been able to go back to sleep. But Friday I woke up at 6:40, and next thing I knew, two hours had passed!  What a wonderful surprise!

The kids and I leisurely are breakfast and got ready and then headed out. We stopped by kaiser for a minute and then went to pick Nate up from school to take him to the airport. John met us in the parking lot to bring us Nate's wallet that he's forgotten and I realized that I'd left Nate's boarding pass at home! Really sad because Chris spent an extra thirty minutes last night driving to the office to pick it up and I'd been so worried I'd forget it so I immediately walked out to the garage and put it on the front seat of my car. What I hadn't counted on was going to the church Thursday night to do visiting teaching stuff. So those papers got set down onto obit Nate's boarding pass and then all shuffled with them... ending up on our kitchen counter. Whoooops. Nate just laughed about it. I'm glad he didn't mind having to reprint it at a kiosk. We talked hockey the whole way to the airport. Real hockey and our fantasy teams (since we're both in Chris's fantasy hockey league). I don't get a lot of one on one time like that with Nate. It was a lot of fun. 

After Nate was safely delivered to the airport, the kids and I drove the 45 or so minutes to the airport to hit up the distribution center. The kids were delighted, as always, with the fountain. 

That morning, I'd posted on our ward fb page that I was looking for a jogging stroller to borrow for Saturday and the first reply was from a friend of mine who said that her mom had one I could borrow and it was sitting on her front porch so I was welcome to swing by anytime. The downside was that she lives in highlands ranch. The upside was that it was like three minutes away from the temple. Perfect!  And it was a double which was a welcome surprise since I said single or double would work. After using google maps so much, my phone was at 4% and about to die, but luckily I made it home without it dying. And without getting lost. 

At that point, I'd been dragging the kids around for almost four hours and they were anxious to just play. So when we got home, I didn't try to feed them and brady had already napped in his car seat on the way to the airport, and I just let them play. They were in heaven. Doing who knows what in the play room while I hung out downstairs. It completely melts my heart how well they play together. And that baby girl has clued into the fact that I always put Brady down for nap after we get home from preschool or the library or morning errands or whatever it is. She's always like "Noooo!!!  Don't put him down for nap! I just want to play with him!" So when we got close to home she was all "Does Brady have to go to sleep when we get home? He already napped..."  It was precious. Anyways, they were happily playing upstairs for a nice, good chunk of time without any help from me. 

Eventually we went to Walmart. We only got the staples (French bread, bananas, milk, diapers on sale) but it took us forever. I have no idea how it took so long. But that always seems to be the case. 

When we got home, honey was just finishing cleaning out disaster of a kitchen. I mean, it was t r a a h e d. Dirty dishes all over, papers, food containers, shoes and food all over the floor, and even some toys and books for good measure.  But when we walked in the door, it was perfect. Everything put away, wiped down, swept up... And the subs of the dishwasher running. I love that sound! Honey fed the kids while I put groceries away and cleaned up Abigail's bedroom (and then had a talk with her about keeping her room tidy since she's been slacking, although I felt very hypocritical, and with good reason. Ha) and then we put both of the kids to bed and watched some utopia and the byu game and went to bed for our first night this season with our electric blanket. It was amazing!!!

The day seemed forever long, but in a good way. And it was a great start to our weekend! 

5 weeks

How far along:  5 weeks  (10.2.14)

Total weight gain/loss: -1.5 lbs - my official starting weight this pregnancy is 115

Maternity clothes:  yes... but only because i wear maternity clothes as part of my regular wardrobe.  i know it's strange, but yes, i regularly shop the maternity section for clothes to wear when i'm not pregnant.

Sleep:  not awesome but not terrible.  i've had some vivid dreams.  and some of those times when i know i'm sleeping but it feels like i'm awake.  i call this "airplane sleep" because it's about the same feeling and quality that i get when i try to sleep on a plane.  i've also had trouble sleeping if i wake up early in the morning.  it's like christmas day and i'm just anxious and excited and can't go back to sleep.

Best moment this week:  finding out!  and enjoying saturday (when i got the ghost line and then spent the day with abigail at day out with thomas) when i knew and was excited but it was my secret alone.  and telling my honey... he's so excited!

Movement:  it's a long way off.  

Food cravings:  so far, it's hit or miss with food.  at day out with thomas, i looooved the brat and was craving alllll of the carnival food but kept getting full easily.  sunday morning, nothing sounded good, but i had a banana for breakfast and did okay with minimal food during the day.  we went to an open house and ate there, but the rest of the night i felt pretty nauseous in my stomach and my throat.  any time i burped, i was scared i would throw up a little in my mouth.  gross, i know. the last couple days, i just haven't wanted to eat at all... which isn't terribly different from my norm.  but i'm trying to eat at least two meals a day so i can avoid getting a migraine and throwing myself into a downward spiral of doom.   

Symptoms: acne (although it's been improving), nausea, lightheadedness, constant lower backache (which is at its worst when i am sitting or laying down)

Gender:  my honey and i talked about this and neither of us have a preference.  but after i got a positive test, i went to my bed to kneel down and pray and couldn't stop praying as if this baby was a little girl.  with brady, i was positive of the gender, but this time, not so much.  but my symptoms so far seem to be mostly mirroring how they were with my pregnancy with abigail.

What I miss:  being able to focus on anything else.  ; )  pregnancy consumes my mind and it's all i want to think about.  not awesome though, because it makes time pass sooooo slowly.  and i've kind of got other things i need to focus on during the day.  but it is exciting.  every second of the day, i'm excited.  it's like it's constantly christmas eve.  

Milestones:  i got a positive pregnancy test!
Theme: the week of obsessing about pregnancy, pregnancy test lines, and miscarriage
What's different this time around:  with abigail, i felt sick instantly at 4 weeks, 3 days.  with brady, i felt 100% fine until 6 weeks.  this is just sort of in between.

Extra:  i emailed my doctor, dr. walker, tuesday afternoon and admitted that i'm freaking out about miscarriage.  since it's a new doctor for me, i briefly filled her in on my pregnancy history, infertility history, and miscarriage history.  and then i told her i haven't had any red flags other than paranoia.  bless her heart, she responded within a few hours and said she'd put in the lab orders for me for a beta check for wednesday and friday and asked if that would help at all to ease my anxiety.  i think i almost wept tears of joy at her compassion for my paranoia.  crossing my fingers the numbers come back high and doubling!

True love

I sooo love my honey. 

I literally laughed out loud. 

Ps- I did some research online... It was the Toscana. Fresh Mozzarella, San Marzano Tomato Sauce, Topped with Arugula, Prosciutto di Parma, Gran Cru, Grape Tomatoes, EVOO. No wonder he was confused... I don't even know all of these things. 

Pps- honey prefers a classic pepperoni.