Wednesday, April 26, 2017

32 weeks

How far along:32 weeks (4.26.17)

Total weight gain/loss: +23 lbs 

Maternity clothes:  just some maternity shirts still and i've worn my old navy maternity dress once. my smallest skinny jeans are great with a hair tie through the button hole. my jeans with the fringed ankle are absolutely perfect the first time i wear them after they've been washed.  after that, they slide down but still fit. I tried my favorite maternity skinnies again yesterday but they're still so big and slide all over and are constantly falling off.  i just keep thinking of 60 year old men that have a bit of a gut and their pants are always sliding off because their belly is big and they can't pull their pants up higher.  i have full sympathy for them now because that's me.  every day.  

Sleep:  it's still the same as before.  super crazy and exhausting dreams.  never feeling like my sleep is restful at all.  typically waking up feeling tired still. not sure what caused the change, but a couple weeks ago, i stopped waking up during the night.  or at least when i wake up, i'm able to just turn over and go back to sleep.  i don't chug a glass of milk and go to the bathroom. so technically, i'm sleeping through the night, but of course i'm still tired, no matter how many hours i get.  

Best moment this week:  that's definitely saturday morning.  we woke up to snow.  the kids were so excited.  an hour or two later, they got on snow gear to go build a snowman.  they came in a few minutes later requesting honey's help.  he was all "uhh, there's no snow."  i'm like "honey, they got their snow gear on themselves and they're so excited for the snow after it being so warm for so long... go out there with them and build a snowman!" eventually, a kid came in requesting that i go to the basement to get our snowman stuff (the little bucket of plastic coal, buttons, carrot nose, scarf, etc)... as i walked past a window (this was the first time i'd actually gotten out of bed), i saw that there was seriously no snow left and i started laughing.  later, chris came in with pictures of our yard (with no snow) and the tiniest little snowman (which apparently took all the snow from our yard and the neighbor's yard) and i laughed so hard that my tears kept falling in my cereal bowl and at a couple points, i was having trouble breathing.  i couldn't even tell you how long this lasted because it kept going and going and then coming back for more.  i honestly can't remember the last time i laughed so hard and for so long... i'm sure it's been years.  it was insane and incredible.  for real, one of the funniest experiences of my entire life.  not sure why, but that really did it for me.  i have such a good husband.

Movement:  still lots of kicks and punches! over the last week, it has seemed to slow down a bit (like it's not so constant), but it is still very strong and uncomfortable.  also, i feel like when he does move, it's basically a five year old kid on swim team trying to learn how to do a flip underwater at a pool wall like the olympic swimmers do. like all the sudden, everything is flailing and shifting and it feels like something is going to get lodged in my ribs at the same time as another limb might poke itself out of my lower regions. and there are the still frequent, but less noticeable soft bumps and stuff.  also, more and more contractions.  they don't feel nice.  nothing feels nice on my belly.  chris and the kids are magnets for it or for snugging or laying on me, but really, even not during contractions, it just is sensitive.  i don't really want people to be near me but brady and elizabeth pretty much think we should all be intertwined constantly so that's a struggle.  especially that elizabeth wants to sit on my belly.  or stand on it.  no, child.  just stop. 

Food cravings:  i have completely stopped even thinking about making dinner.  like i used to at least entertain the thought of making something and then i'd just sit outside and watch the kids ride bikes instead.  now, i don't even think about it and i don't feel much guilt about it either.  i'm getting way picker with my food.  raisin bran was cutting it for a long time but now it somewhat works but also just grosses me out.  lately, i've been eating two eggs over easy served on a slice of toasted grandma sycamore's bread.  and then i normally make one more egg because i'm still hungry and eat that on a slice or half slice of toast.  the kids now all like eggs over easy as well and so does chris so it's a full family affair.  it's been at least two weeks since i've made scrambled eggs or egg salad sandwiches, but i've been eating eggs over easy nearly every day.  i just eat the one main meal.  aside from that, i eat a lot of chocolate, candy, bread and butter (in various forms), and apples.  it's not the most well rounded diet, but as long as i get in that one solid meal with eggs, i feel pretty okay.  if i forget to feed myself then i get nauseous by evening.  

Symptoms:  mild depression that's almost totally under control with zoloft, very increased fatigue (emotionally, physically, mentally, and any other way i can feel fatigue.... i have it all), still sometimes feeling like i'm going to faint/pass out when i stand up, super crazy weird dreams, sometimes waking during the night for no reason at all, growing stomach.  also, headaches amd nausea again lately, mostly in the evenings and at night but sometimes earlier in the day too.  i'm still having that back pain (unrelated to pregnancy).  it's been at least a month so far, so i'm hoping it'll be gone within another few weeks because that's how long those flair ups normally are.  but it's manageable right now so that's good.  and my contractions are continuing to be more frequent and pronounced. 

Gender:  i'm still in occasional denial and have to remind myself that this is a boy. still undecided on a first name although i have my pick and that's what keeps coming to my head when i'm thinking of or referring to this little kid. is it terrible that i just keep assuming that we won't talk about it and then chris will just go with my name? that just seems like what he'll do.  also, i keep wondering when they'll do another ultrasound (y'know, at the end to check positioning) so confirm it's a boy.  i need that confirmation.

What I miss:  still same as before... sometimes i'm just sad that i don't want to hang out with my kids more or that i don't feel as much love and affection for them as i should. also, it's kind of a time suck that i need so much sleep. i feel like i don't get much alone time because i need so much sleep and there's not time for both. i also miss having any energy.  i'm just so tired all day.  i have to use quiet time each day for myself.  like i have to definitely be in my bed and enjoy the quiet or take a nap (so so tired all the time)... i'm definitely not going to be doing anything productive.  i did randomly pick up bringing up bebe from the library maybe a week and a half ago and have actually been reading it.  it's kind of really boring, but it's just what i need because it helps me zone out to a place where i don't have to think or feel at all.  also, i like that most of the parenting endorsed in the book is what i do/how i feel.  now if only my kids were showing the great results of that!  i hate always feeling overwhelmed though.  like i don't want to think about anything post baby coming.  configuring carseats in the van or configuring bedrooms or sleeping arrangements upstairs, or anything really.  i don't even want to think about packing for our trip to utah next week or the trip to san diego immediately after that and especially not about the scheduling and planning i need to do to prep for lisa coming to watch my kids.  i AM looking forward though to after all those things are over and lisa is just staying at my house to play for a week.  i'm excited for that part.  i have so much to do though and i chose not to think about it.  i just lay in bed and read a book and try to zone out of life.  mentally and physically, i'm just incapable of everything. 

Milestones: i'm starting to get comments from people that ask me if i'm just done being pregnant or if i'm reading for my baby to just be here and all those comments make me panic hardcore because (see above), i can't handle anything. i'm really not sure how i'm going to get through the next two months with the amount of denial i have going on right now but i'm sure it'll be interesting. i need more time. and more energy and brainpower. how did i get so far that everyone is ready for me to be finished with my pregnancy?! yikes, i'm not ready for this.
Theme: the week of being tired 24/7... i neeeeed naps. although i probably only get like two or three in a week.
What's different this time around: maybe it feels like it's own pregnancy finally! i'm experiencing the severe fatigue like i did with abigail and the apathetic/depressive sorts of moods like i did with elizabeth, and i'm just watching the time fly by like it did with brady. so just taking a bit from each and this pregnancy is actually feeling uniquely different and new to me right now.

Extra: it's crazy how lazy i am. i've been craving rice krispy treats for months (because i always love them, pregnant or not), but don't ever ever make them because i just can't seem to get my act together before the rice krispies get eaten. and then i buy more and it happens again. we had a home teacher bring over rice krispy treats a month or so ago just randomly (it's the only time he's come to our house... our dutiful home teacher from before stopped coming a year ago when chris got called out of elder's quorum) and i thought "wow, heavenly father really does hear and answer our prayers... how else could these rice krispy treats just magically show up on my doorstep?!" it was great. but seriously, i need to make some.

also, i'm just so tired these days. mentally and emotionally, everything is just HARD. so is standing up for any length of time. it seems to make me light headed and out of breath and it's an uncomfortable sensation. i've been a lot more forgiving of myself this pregnancy with my eating habits and laziness. this fourth kid is just no joke... and that i'm in my 30's this time around. so, that's part of the reason for the lack of pregnancy posts/pictures. also, the apathy that comes with the depression. i'm a mess. ; )


Sunday, April 23, 2017

Let's celebrate!

Can we all just stop and celebrate for a second here? My sunday is going so well and ill be honest and admit that's typically not the case. Both kids woke up and did their things this morning (Brady's job is to stay in his bed all night and then go potty and get dressed when he wakes up and Abigail's job is to complete all the items on her magnetic chore chart, although this morning, I only had her do some because she was going to shower after breakfast instead of before) and Elizabeth slept until i woke her up at 10:30. Abigail and Brady ate and got ready and got to watch scripture bugs while I got myself and Elizabeth ready. I mean, i had time to curl my hair, paint my toes, put on a necklace, and actually do my makeup in my bathroom instead of in the car on the driveway! And we were on time for church!
and the only time I had to leave sacrament meeting was when Brady needed to go potty. Elizabeth never screamed and I never felt like I wanted to slap my children! What a win for us all!
Nursery went well too! We only had 9 kids there and it was all super chill with just LaResa and myself and our two crying kids were mostly happy and quiet! Chris even popped in twice which always makes me so happy. After church, both kids did their things (putting away church clothes, potty/hands, and getting dressed in play clothes or pjs) and got a bowl of cereal and lunch. And when honey came home in time to join us for lunch, it was even better.
At 3:30, honey left to do visits, Abigail and Brady started acripture bugs again (they're obsessed), and I put Elizabeth down for a nap and got in my bed.
And later this evening, we're going over to the Cottles for dessert and hanging out. This is pretty much as an ideal sunday as I could ever hope for. Who's in the mood to sing some praises with me?! ; )

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Elizabeth

Experimenting

In the last ten years, I think I've technologically aged about fifty years. Wish me luck trying to find a new blogging app.

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Easter Sunday

Easter Sunday, we were on time for church, honey spoke in sacrament meeting and gave maybe the best and most touching talk I've ever heard him give, the kids all found their Easter eggs (Abigail and Brady before church, Elizabeth after), ate Easter dinner (crescent rolls, asparagus, Mac n cheese, fruit kabobs, and some gross ham was served... although I think most of us chose not to eat it), and enjoyed our time together. Holidays can be rough so I'm calling this a major success.






Easter Saturday

It wouldn't be me if I wasn't finding something to complain about with blogging. Good news, I was finally able to clear up enough space on my phone to update iOS and start taking some pictures. Bad news: apparently blogger hasn't updated their app in forever so it doesn't work with any updated iOS. So now I have pictures and only a pain in the butt way to blog by using an actual browser. 

Anyway, here are some out of order pictures from Saturday. Chris did eggs with the kids and I took them to the playground twice where they played for hours while Elizabeth napped at home. We went to roadhouse for dinner and it was delicious. 







Monday, April 10, 2017

Never pictures

I never take pictures anymore. My phone memory is full. I've been trying to transfer my pictures to my computer but my laptop won't recognize my phone. I'm not sure why. So I'm at a stalemate with my phone. So annoying. And even if I somehow delete 50 pictures and free up the tiniest amount of space, I can literally take one picture before it says it's full again. So I've given up for now. So frustrating with all the cute moments during the day or sweet little seconds in time that I know I'll forget since I didn't photograph it. So, there's my vent of the day and the preventative explanation to why this post has no pictures. 

I've liked Monday's for some time now. They treat me well. My house was mostly clean when I woke up and the morning went smoothly with all three kids! 

Elizabeth had a good speech therapy lesson this morning and I love that Brady is a part of it as much as I am because he learns so much from the therapist and works on it with Elizabeth throughout the week. Like he gets her practicing her P sounds when we're in the car. And this morning, he heard her say "off" when we were taking off her pjs shirt, so he ran to the light switch and proceeded to turn it on and off slowly while saying "on" and "off" to give her a visual. I was all "why have I never thought of that?!?! He is so, so good with her. The speech therapist was working this morning on giving Elizabeth time to make requests instead of just pointing or grunting. She kept laughing at how hard it was because Brady was so automatic at interpreting her wants and needs and instantly giving her everything. I was all "don't worry, he's the only one in the family that responds to her like that... The rest of us at least ask for a please!" 

So then I fed Elizabeth breakfast (I let her sleep in and by the time I finished getting her dressed and changing her diaper, the therapist was here) and we headed outside with Brady. Brady was so anxious to get riding his bike. He only balanced on it for an hour or two on Friday and did one or two times of pedaling down the street... And Saturday he grasped it for real and became totally comfortable with it... And today is the day I finally became comfortable about it and I don't get nervous about him crashing or something. He wanted to ride yesterday (it was his first request to me when he came to my room in the morning), but I told him it was Sunday and he needed to shower and get a suit on... So no riding on Sunday. Anyway, he's good. He still has a hard time going uphill, but I think he'll get better as he works those muscles more. Elizabeth pushed her doll stroller. Both of them took turns riding the tricycle. Brady played golf. He also took Elizabeth on an Easter egg hunt to collect all the scattered golf balls and put them in her stroller. I can't believe Easter is on Sunday. That snuck up on me. 

We went in around noon or so and made lunch. Scrambled eggs on biscuits. It was delish. I can't get enough scrambled eggs. Or just eggs in general. I think the kids went down for nap and quiet time between 1:30 and 2 and both slept until I woke them up at 4 and 4:30. I spent quiet time in bed working through pages and pages of registration papers for Brady for preschool this fall. I totally procrastinated that one. 

At 4:30, Elizabeth was in her crib, Abigail and Brady were both watching one episode of paw patrol, and I was snuggled in my bed with a bowl of lucky charms. That's when I remembered that Abigail had gotten off the wait list and was signed up for the art class at the library that was starting riiiight then ugh. I got us all to the library as fast as I could and while Abigail had missed the book/reading part, she had plenty of time for the art part and spent the next 45 minutes carefully finger painting two large pictures. Which I would show you, but, no memory. 

We got home by 6, the kids rode bikes for a bit, I made taco salads, and we all ate. The kids must have all been starving from not having eaten for six hours because dinner was like a never ending marathon and Chris could it believe it when we finished off the rest of our Costco bag of frozen corn and the kids were still begging for more. Elizabeth went on to also have cherry tomatoes, part of Abigail's leftover lunch sandwich, and a bowl of cereal. I mean, she missed part of book time upstairs because her dinner lasted so long. 

Chris and the kids watched some of the Rockies game after dinner and I loved that chris was explaining to them the rules of the game. Maybe eventually they'll stop calling everything a goal. The kids had a few blow ups and tantrums, but eventually everyone got to sleep. 

It was a good, good day. 


Saturday, April 8, 2017

Brady can ride!

Technically, he could do this yesterday, but I'd say today it was really official. Brady can ride a bike without training wheels! Dad lowered the seat on this tiny bike we got from my friend Janel, and after a bit of just tip toe riding and balancing on it, he was set to tackle pedaling too! He went back and forth a bit about being scared and asking me to hold on, but it didn't take long before he was yelling at Chris to "let go! Let go!" And then he was fine just starting and stopping on his own. Just like Abigail, conquering it in a day and a half, just a few months after turning four. 

Woohoo! Now I just need to get him swimming! 

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

28 weeks

How far along:  28 weeks  (3.29.17)
Total weight gain/loss: +20? lbs 
Maternity clothes:  just some maternity shirts still. my smallest skinny jeans that normally fit me perfectly are starting to dig into my love handles.  I've worn them with a hair tie around the button hole a couple times. I wore my favorite maternity skinnies but they're still so big and slide all over. 
Sleep:  it's still the same as before.  super crazy and exhausting dreams.  never feeling like my sleep is restful at all.  typically waking up feeling tired still. The norm is to wake up once during the night to drink my milk and go to the bathroom. I think this is normally around 3 or 4am. 
Best moment this week:  there's not a whole lot of really happy things for me to think of, but Friday night, I was able to stand up completely straight for the first time in days and I could t stop showing Chris and telling him how amazing it was. 
Movement:  still so many kicks and punches! i can't figure out if this kid is just really active or if i've just forgotten how much babies move.  it's so strong.  also, brady and abigail like feeling the bumps and Elizabeth has taken a real liking to cuddling my belly.  
Food cravings:  it's going okay... Mostly same as before but I'm becoming more picky. I made cauliflower soup the other day but then literally was so grossed out that I told chris dinner was in the crock pot and he would need to feed himself and the kids while I stayed in my room. i still eat a lot of sweets during the morning hours of each day.  my cravings for eggs come and go.  i still like eggs on toast and i've been loving egg salad sandwiches this pregnancy and within the past two weeks, I've loved runny eggs (cooked inside the bread).
Symptoms: some mild depression (crying and anger and apathy, almost totally under control with zoloft), increased fatigue, still sometimes feeling like i'm going to faint/pass out when i stand up, super super weird dreams, sometimes waking during the night for no reason at all, growing stomach...  my skin is mostly all cleared up and i haven't been getting headaches or nausea lately.  i've been getting so much more tired though... mentally and physically.  also, unrelated to pregnancy, but i've been having pretty bad back pain again that is harder to deal with because of my big belly.  walking is painful, and walking while trying to hold elizabeth is something i can only do very minimally and not without pain... also, i can't walk fully upright while holding her so i look ridiculous in public.  also, it is very painful and difficult for me to put her in her crib because of  trying to hold her while lean over.  not pregnant, i can just support myself with my stomach on the crib rail, but being pregnant that's harder now and i try to do that above my belly.  i still half drop her in her crib every time though.  she's used to it now and it's no big deal.  sometimes the disc pain lasts weeks and sometimes just a few days... i'm hoping this time it goes away sooner rather than later.  also, my contractions are getting more frequent and pronounced.  i'm honestly dreading how bad they'll be ten weeks from now because i remember how bad they were at the end of elizabeth's pregnancy.  and this pregnancy, i started having contractions at 12ish weeks.  heaven help me, they don't feel nice.  
Gender:  i'm still in occasional denial and have to remind myself that this is a boy.  about half the time, i keep thinking ahead to summer and that i'll have a baby girl or i hear a girl name that i like and i'm all, "i should add that to my list!" before i remember that i'm having a boy. i think we're decided on the middle name (shortest conversation ever... maybe ten seconds start to finish?) but haven't decided on a first name.  chris and i each have one name that we like.  we all like each other's choice so that's good.  but we don't want to use both because the middle name will for sure be a family name.  for some reason, in my head, i've already assumed that we'll just do the name i like but i think that's because chris normally just lets me do whatever i want.  i do want to be considerate of him though because i've named the last two kids.  we'll see!
What I miss:  same as before... sometimes i'm just sad that i don't want to hang out with my kids more or that i don't feel as much love and affection for them as i should. also, it's kind of a time suck that i need so much sleep. i feel like i don't get much alone time because i need so much sleep and there's not time for both. i also miss having any energy.  i'm just so tired all day.  
Milestones:  i frequently don't know how pregnant i am.  i can't believe i'm only three months out though.  yikes.  i'm not ready for four kids at home this summer.  especially because elizabeth is still so much a baby.  i can't handle two babies yet.  
Theme: the week of being tired 24/7
What's different this time around:  maybe it feels most like brady's pregnancy right now... just because the zoloft alleviates the depression that i felt with each of the girls.  
Extra: eh.

Sunday, March 26, 2017

Catching up on spring break

The first day of spring break was actually st. Patrick's day because that Friday was a teacher work day. We went to the library for story time. The kids were sooo excited to check out everyone wearing green. It was pretty cute. 

We went to volleyball with Abigail and then stopped by the hackings. Their house closed and they came into town to pack up the very last of their things and hand over keys and such. So we stopped to say goodbye. I'm so happy for Shaylee but so so sad that she's gone. 

We went to the Pepsi center for the Harlem globetrotters. Chris and I thought it was kind of obnoxious and a little lame, but of course the kids thought it was absolutely hilarious and amazing so we'll still call it a success. Our seats were way up high, but we were in a suite so it was heaven with Elizabeth. I always tell Chris how sporting events with her feel like sacrament meeting to me so this was nice that she could do her own thing and I didn't have to worry about her at all. 

I sent Chris to get the car for us because our kids were "so tired" and "too hot" to walk all the way there. It felt like summer. 

She is so precious. 

We went to glenwood springs after church. Drove there Sunday and did the adventure park all day on Monday. Chris liked this thing that went out over a huge cliff. The rest of us preferred the alpine coaster. It was crazy fun. 



We went in the Kings row cave and the fairy cave. Both were great. Elizabeth fell asleep in the ferry cave and finished her nap in the stroller when we got out. 

This guy. 

Tuesday, we did the hot springs in glenwood springs. We stayed for maybe seven hours or something? My favorite was the hot tub feeling one. Elizabeth fell asleep while I was sitting in there holding her. That girl was such a champ about napping/having to skip her naps. We got in the car and drove straight home with no stops which was delightful considering we stopped fifty million times on the way there on Sunday. 

Elizabeth loves paw patrol. Also, none of us know why or how she got on a pair of Abigail's paw patrol undies. 

I pretty much eat straight sugar all day these days because I'm lazy, but I did make and eat this delicious tomato cucumber quinoa salad. I'm not opposed to eating healthier, I'm just so lazy about it. 

Christopher took brady to the avs game Thursday night. 


Friday we went to the line tree library and across he street to Costa visa for lunch with honey. 

Saturday, we went to volleyball with Abigail, our neighbor's one year old birthday party, and I went to the women's broadcast with Julie. 

Friday, March 17, 2017

26 weeks

How far along:  26 weeks  (3.15.17)
Total weight gain/loss: +17.5 lbs 
Maternity clothes:  just some maternity shirts still. my smallest skinny jeans that normally fit me perfectly are starting to dig into my love handles.  last night i was sitting with brady in his bed while he fell asleep and i unbuttoned and unzipped my pants and it felt so great.  my other jeans that i wear are all just big on me so it's annoying having them slide down all day but that's just what i'll have to transition to i guess.  
Sleep:  it's still the same as before.  super crazy and exhausting dreams.  never feeling like my sleep is restful at all.  typically waking up feeling exhausted.  also, this is totally random, but maybe my happiest 20 seconds of every day happens in the middle of the night when i wake up.  i sit up in bed and then chug the glass of milk that i have on my nightstand.  it hits the spot in a way that i don't think i could ever convey.  it is so insanely amazing.  then i lay back down and go to sleep.  or go to the bathroom and then go back to sleep.  i can sleep through the night without going to the bathroom, but if i wake up or have to get out of bed for any reason, i normally just go ahead and go.  the daylight saving change has been helpful.  my kids and i can sleep in past 6:15 now! i'd gotten so used to not setting my alarm in the mornings that on thursday, we all slept in and brady didn't wake me up til 9:06 or something... y'know, when abigail is already supposed to be at school.  whoops.  
Best moment this week:  there's not really anything sticking out to me.  we've had great weather though and that's been awesome.  
Movement:  still so many kicks and punches! i can't figure out if this kid is just really active or if i've just forgotten how much babies move.  it's so strong.  also, brady loves feeling the bumps.  
Food cravings:  it's going well. i eat a lot of sweets during the morning hours of each day.  i indulge in all the sugar i want, always starting the day with a cookie or chocolate truffle or even just skittles or something.  as the day goes on, i normally just snack.  sometimes i sit down and eat a real meal if something sounds good or if i'm really hungry, but most days i'd say is just sweets and snacking.  my cravings for eggs come and go.  i still like eggs on toast and i've been loving egg salad sandwiches this pregnancy.  also, i made eggs overeasy in toast last night and it was delicious.  hallelujah that eggs are dirt cheap at costco.  like $4, give or take, for a 5 dozen pack.  
Symptoms: some mild depression (crying and anger and apathy, almost totally under control with zoloft), increased fatigue, still sometimes feeling like i'm going to faint/pass out when i stand up, super super weird dreams, sometimes waking during the night for no reason at all, growing stomach...  my skin is mostly all cleared up and i haven't been getting headaches or nausea lately.  i've been getting so much more tired though... mentally and physically.  also, unrelated to pregnancy, but i've been having pretty bad back pain again that is harder to deal with because of my big belly.  walking is painful, and walking while trying to hold elizabeth is something i can only do very minimally and not without pain... also, i can't walk fully upright while holding her so i look ridiculous in public.  also, it is very painful and difficult for me to put her in her crib because of  trying to hold her while lean over.  not pregnant, i can just support myself with my stomach on the crib rail, but being pregnant that's harder now and i try to do that above my belly.  i still half drop her in her crib every time though.  she's used to it now and it's no big deal.  sometimes the disc pain lasts weeks and sometimes just a few days... i'm hoping this time it goes away sooner rather than later.  also, my contractions are getting more frequent and pronounced.  i'm honestly dreading how bad they'll be ten weeks from now because i remember how bad they were at the end of elizabeth's pregnancy.  and this pregnancy, i started having contractions at 12ish weeks.  heaven help me, they don't feel nice.  
Gender:  i'm still in occasional denial and have to remind myself that this is a boy.  about half the time, i keep thinking ahead to summer and that i'll have a baby girl or i hear a girl name that i like and i'm all, "i should add that to my list!" before i remember that i'm having a boy. i think we're decided on the middle name (shortest conversation ever... maybe ten seconds start to finish?) but haven't decided on a first name.  chris and i each have one name that we like.  we all like each other's choice so that's good.  but we don't want to use both because the middle name will for sure be a family name.  for some reason, in my head, i've already assumed that we'll just do the name i like but i think that's because chris normally just lets me do whatever i want.  i do want to be considerate of him though because i've named the last two kids.  we'll see!
What I miss:  same as before... sometimes i'm just sad that i don't want to hang out with my kids more or that i don't feel as much love and affection for them as i should. also, it's kind of a time suck that i need so much sleep. i feel like i don't get much alone time because i need so much sleep and there's not time for both. i also miss having any energy.  i'm just so tired all day.  
Milestones:  i frequently don't know how pregnant i am.  i can't believe i'm only three months out though.  yikes.  i'm not ready for four kids at home this summer.  especially because elizabeth is still so much a baby.  i can't handle two babies yet.  
Theme: the week of being tired 24/7
What's different this time around:  
maybe it feels most like brady's pregnancy right now... just because the zoloft alleviates the depression that i felt with each of the girls.  
Extra:  it's so great to be on zoloft right now and not be depressed. i can't pretend i'm doing awesome (as chris said just a few days ago... something along the lines of "look at you! you're a mess!" concerning my ability to function at parenting and keeping house, etc.), but honestly, my house is generally clean most all of the time, i don't hate my children, we always have food to eat, and i get dressed every day.  i had to remind christopher how i was doing in january when i really was a mess.  i explained to him that this is just because i'm pregnant and eventually i won't be like this anymore.  it comforted me to know that he didn't remember me being like this is any of my previous pregnancies.  ; )  also, the more i think about this being a boy, the more i feel like i'd be okay just having five kids.  six was always a possibility if brady didn't have a brother yet, but if four is two and two, i think i'm fine with just one more.  that way i still have the opportunity to nurse a baby two more times but i only need to endure morning sickness one more time.  that seems manageable.  

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Catchup

Abigail was the star of the week so I got to go in and have lunch with her on Friday. We kind of had a huge blowup before school that maybe had me in tears but of course she's forgiven me so fast because when I showed up at school, her teacher told me that Abigail had mentioned multiple times how excited she was for me to have lunch with her. She wanted me to do her hair like this so I hurried in the few minutes that lunch was ending. Also, it was fun staying to volunteer. I love doing sight words with the kids. 

Janel brought her kids over (we trade for volunteering at our kids' schools) and the kids discovered how fun it was to dig in the dirt. Makes me cringe but it made them so happy for so long. 


We went to the library. Elizabeth is obsessed with paw patrol. 

It was so windy after church that I thought Elizabeth might blow over. It was seriously close at times. Made me sing that pioneer children song in my head a little bit. 

Basketball and babies

These are a few of our favorite things. 

(Sometimes the babies are invisible)

Abigail's art

Some of Abigail's creations and things from the past six months or so.