crying it out, climbing, and brady

crying it out.  it's worth it... every time.

sunday i wrote...

This was Brady's third night of crying it out. I've procrastinated a long time (and it deserves a post of its own) letting Brady cry it out so he can get back to falling asleep on his own instead of needing me to hold his hand. It's one of those things where it's great and it just works until it just doesn't anymore. So after almost two months... We're attempting to break the habit. Night one, I think he cried for an hour and a half. The second night was 1h10. And tonight was about 30 minutes. Writing it out, those lengths seem super long, but, thankfully, his crying hasn't been bad. It's like a semi-cry of "daddy" over and over. Hopefully it won't take long for him to be confident again in his ability to fall asleep without my assistance. 

but then i didn't ever write anything after that.  i'll try to remember what's happened since then.

the next night of crying was only 4 or 5 minutes.  the night after that was maybe 10 seconds.  i think the night after that was like 30-45 seconds.  and then maybe a night or two of 5 seconds.  and the rest of the nights have been just a huff or whimper as i kiss him goodnight but then zero crying.  every night i would give him a binky and put him in his crib as usual, lying down next to the crib and holding his hand.  but instead of laying there forever until he fell asleep, it was only for 5 or 10 minutes and then i would kiss him and tell him goodnight and shut the door behind me.  i didn't want to do cry it out for naptime because naps are typically more difficult for a number of reasons like not being as tired and knowing that everyone else is still awake and playing.  so i just chose not to do cry it out for naptime.  i only ditched him for naptime once the nighttime crying was consistently down to a few seconds.  so for the last few days, i have laid next to the crib for 10 minutes and then left.  and he's been totally fine.  tonight was the first time that i didn't lay down with him at all.  i just put him in his crib, kissed him and told him goodnight and then left.  he let out a "mommy" as i was telling him goodnight, but no crying.  i'll consider this 100% done when he shows no anxiety at all about me leaving the room.  in the mean time though, i'm kicking myself for taking so long to do cry it out... just like i anticipated being the case.  i'll probably occasionally hold his hand for a few minutes before i leave (i won't lie... i've become really attached to that quiet time when we hold hands)... probably on really difficult days where i just need that positive kid interaction, but other than that, i'm looking forward to having some extra time now that i won't be spending 2+ hours of my day laying on brady's floor.  and nap time is longer now.  because before, i would be staying 5 or 10 minutes into brady's nap and he would only sleep for maybe an hour and a half.  now, he plays for a long time before going to sleep (like an hour or so) and then sleeps for longer (at least two hours) and plays for a bit after he wakes up.  on thursday, he was in his crib for nap time for four hours... it was amazing how much i got done!  ...and i do like brady being well adjusted enough to fall asleep independently.  that part is also nice.

for the record... he's still teething.  so far, it's been 2 months and 1 week and while the top teeth have broken the skin... the bottom ones are still just hanging out... as far up as they can without breaking through.  i literally did not know that i could be physically possible for a child to take multiple months for teeth to poke through.

also, since we're already talking about brady... the kid won't stop climbing.  i mean, he's always been more of a climber than abigail when it comes to climbing on chairs and sofas and whatever.  but within the last few days, he's started climbing on my kitchen counter tops and i can't keep him away!  at first it was pretty innocent and he would push a chair over to watch me cook or to get some sippy cups to play with.  and wednesday night he pushed a chair over and started shoving cantaloupe into his mouth (i was dishing up the kids' plates for dinner and i guess he didn't want to wait) and yesterday he was climbing up to check out what there was on the counter, just scavenging for food.  today has by far been the worst though.  this morning i was getting dressed when he walked in my room with a fistful of brownie in his hand (i had a friend drop off a plate of brownies for me yesterday and i'd just left them on the counter near the microwave).  and then he did it again less than 30 minutes later.  so brady had two large brownies for breakfast.  at that point, i had him watch a youtube video of dogs on my laptop while i put the brownies in a tight fastening tupperware and hid them in a cabinet.  but then later i found him with a cookie he'd gotten out of a ziploc bag that was on top of the microwave.  the kid has a super intense sweet tooth.  this evening, chris and i could not keep him off the counter tops or out of the cabinets.  we were both busy doing other things so we only had half an eye on him... but he moves the chair and climbs up so fast it's crazy!  and he's after sweets.  he knows just how to find the skittles and sweet tarts and swedish fish.

does anyone have any suggestions for preventing this?  i know i can move all the sweets to a different location but he even climbed on the counter tonight and was all "heeeeelllllllpppppppp" and i was like "brady... what are you doing up there?!" and he's all "i want a banana."  i really just don't have anywhere else in the kitchen where i can relocate our fruit bowl.  so give me your best ideas.  preferably ones that don't involve tying our chairs to the kitchen table because i'd like to avoid that inconvenience if at all possible.  but this is spiraling out of control at an alarming speed. 

seriously. 

last day in atlanta

i woke up and got packed and ready and we were actually out the door by 11!  once again experiencing almost no travel/packing anxiety!  i truly never expected to see progress in this area of my life but for some [very unexpected and unknown] reason, it's been happening... even if it's temporary, i'll take it!  it's AMAZING!

brady saw this picture of my dad and kept saying "chase!  i want chase!"  ha.  chase is my cousin's kid... family genes run strong.

we went shopping for toilets at lowes.  my biggest regret of the trip is that mom and i didn't have more time to run errands like this or tackle any organizing projects.  i blame brady and that i had to take a 2-3 hour nap with him every afternoon instead of having that alone time with my mom.  maybe next time?

brady was sooo tired all the time (i think waking up during the night and cosleeping with me the rest of the night left him as unrested and tired as i felt.  he fell asleep as soon as we left lowes and was still out cold when we arrived at fat matt's to meet dad for lunch.

so even though people are getting arrested for this sort of stuff these days... we chanced it and left him in the car.  see that rolled down window above abigail's head?  that's brady semi photobombing the picture.  lunch was superb and abigail was well behaved and brady slept through the entire thing.

still out when we got back to the car after lunch.  don't worry... we checked on him VERY frequently while we were eating and were within earshot of him as well.

not sure how we lucked out with such pleasant weather in the middle of july but it was amazing!  so so pleasant!

we went to the atlanta botanical gardens for a few hours and it was wonderful.  all of my pictures from that are on my big camera and will have to be posted later.  like every other time, abigail wanted to be pushed in the stroller and brady wanted to be held.  we had our arms full.

we stopped in the cell phone lot to feed both kids (mostly brady) before the flight.  lots of mandarin oranges.  i had to wake brady up to eat and initially he was so upset that he wouldn't, but when he did... man, the kid downed so much food!  a full belly = a happy brady.  also, i rigged abigail's beach bag (from her wonderful aunt bekah) so she could carry her own snacks and entertainment and it worked pretty well.  abigail and brady were both really well behaved during the whole travel experience.  in the airport, on the plane, and in the denver airport.   

abigail shared a brief but precious friendship with this girl when she complimented abigail's shirt and sandals.  they sat next to each other on the train and talked about their trips.  this girl was several years older and probably four times abigail's size but neither of them cared.  i love kids' lack of prejudice in that regard.  i was sad they couldn't visit more at baggage claim.  as i said, it was a very brief friendship.

brady and i were feeling pretty amazing about how well our travel experience was going.  and he totally rocked it on the airplane and both kids got tons of compliments on their excellent behavior.  the last 30 minutes of the flight the kids were having trouble breathing from laughing so hard and i kept thinking "what? we're almost landing?! i could do another two hours if i needed to!"  that doesn't frequently happen.  ; )

i got one of our bags and they instantly sat down to rest their wearied traveled feet.

and they thought these things were the funnest things ever.

so that entertained them until christopher arrived... which took him a while due to airport traffic and once again i was thinking... we could do this for another hour if we needed to!  but luckily we didn't and that was great too.

it was a really great day.

Kids' eating analysis and food progression photos

aka: "more than you would ever wish to know about the eating habits of any child that is not your own"

every night, i ask for forgiveness for my infinite parenting fails and i pray for the ability to be a better mother to my children and know the best way that i should parent them.

my biggest struggle right now with abigail is her eating (i'm happy to report that the potty chart is still working wonders in that area of our lives) and specifically, the amount of food that she eats... or doesn't eat.  today was a really great day with the kids and i really wanted for us to end on a positive note.  i feel like the last few hours of the day are often my most difficult because i've run out of patience and energy and i really want to just "finish strong" since that's the phrase that's always in my head when i feel like i'm about to lose my temper ten minutes before bedtime.  basically, my honey is out of town and i knew i was doing dinner and cleanup and bedtime by myself and if dinner took the last of my patience, there would be none left for bedtime.

so lately i've been making mental notes of my childrens' eating habits.  brady, i've noticed, prefers bland foods above flavorful foods.  he strongly prefers banana and avocado above strawberries and tomatoes.  also, i think he doesn't like the texture of cheese.  he can eat cheesy scrambled eggs or cheesy pasta noodles or grilled cheese sandwiches, but he doesn't like shredded cheese or sliced cheese when it's offered to him.  also, oatmeal is by far his very favorite food and he will eat indefinite amounts of it.  hot, cold, fresh, old, dried and crusted on his highchair... he loves it all.  the boy could live off of oatmeal.  and he's got a crazy intense sweet tooth.  concerning brady's eating habits, these things i know to be true.

abigail has been harder to read.  i'm still trying to decipher her eating habits, but one thing i've noticed is that she doesn't like to eat a large amount of any one food.  she will ask for a lot.  i hear cries of "but i want A LOOOOOOTTTTTT!!!!!" a million times a day, but really, plan to bet all your money on "won't finish" because she'll lose steam about three or four bites in.  occasionally she'll shock me and eat more or even finish what's on her plate but the typical scene is that i'll constantly remind her to "take a bite" while she'll spend an hour playing on her chair while chewing her fork or anything else inedible, and the food on her plate will just get colder and staler and soggier until she insists "I'M DONE!!!" a million times over.

ten minutes later, she wants a snack because her belly is hungry.

it's frustrating when she throws a fit because she wants "A LOT" of food because i have two options.  i can give her a lot of food and throw away basically all of it after she decides she's done.  or i can just give her a small amount of food and have her be angry and annoying the whole meal and not even finish the tiny amount i've given her.  i frequently try both and nothing works (although we have dubbed brady the "human garbage disposal" because i just dump the rest of abigail's plate onto his tray and he finishes it off) so it's a pretty no win situation.  the idea kept coming to my head "maybe she only will eat three bites of a particular food before needing to move on to a different food."  so for breakfast i'll give her a small bowl of oatmeal, a little bit of eggs, a little bit of toast... it's working better than just one food... aside from her throwing a fit about only getting small amounts of things.

randomly, tonight i decided to break out that pinterest muffin tin idea.  i was pulling a million things out of the fridge for dinner anyways because i was having taco leftovers and brady was being picky and throwing everything off of his tray.  why not put a little sampler plate for abigail?  sometimes i try to create the muffin tin concept on a plate with a bunch of different items, but typically i get lazy after four things and they all blend together.  having twelve spots stretched me to fill them all and i knew abigail would think it looked cool.  and it would look like " A LOT!"

i told her i was making her a surprise dinner and that she couldn't look and had to go away.  i started to tell her to go play in the great room but got smart and instead, asked her to clean up all of the toys.  it was a disaster since my visiting teacher had been over and i'd pulled out alllll of the toys to the center of the room so her daughter could play with them.  there was stuff everywhere and it was all mixed together.  but my all star cleaning kid had it spotless in no time.  i really like when i come home after being out and christopher has cleaned up all the toys... but i can always tell because it's kinda lazy a little bit and he doesn't really know/care where things really go.  with abigail... that girl does it right.  i mean truly exactly as i would.  for all of the power struggles i have with her about eating or going potty... i'm thankful she's awesome about cleaning everything (i mean, if i leave her clean laundry on the stairs, she'll see it and put it away without being asked) and is really good at it.  anyways, that bought me time and actually probably saved me time in the whole course of the night.

i created this masterpiece.  it could have been cooler but i only used food that i already had out of the fridge for myself and/or brady.  we prayed and then she dug in.

after a few minutes i was curious to see what she'd chosen to eat first.  corn.  she completely wiped out her corn.  then, spinach.  both spots of spinach.  then a little bit of cheese and some strawberries.  what kid eats the corn and spinach first?  i totally thought she would go for the tortilla first.

next... tortillas, then avocados, then carrots.

and then when she declared herself done and asked to be excused...  left behind was one chunk of roast beef, half of the shredded cheese, and half of the strawberries.  and trace amounts of corn and tortilla.

overall, totally not what i was expecting.  in order or amounts.  i honestly expected her to eat all of her tortilla and all of her cheese.  likely most all of her avocado and strawberries and maybe corn.  and then none of the spinach or roast beef or carrots.  it's a good thing i don't bet.

it was a happy night for me.  it really helped my mood and was a great break from preparing food for one kid that i'm in yelling matches with trying to force feed her into eating something and another kid that throws everything on the floor the second he sees something more appealing.  sometimes i can handle that but sometimes i can't.  tonight i didn't have to and it was great.  

also, in case you were wondering, natural light is important to quality photography.  because did anyone else notice that progression?  you can tell how far we were into the meal in relation to the sun setting based on how yellow our food looks from the yellow lighting above our kitchen table.  amazing huh?

does anyone have experience with doing this on a more long term basis?  how soon does the novelty fade?  and how much variety do you have from meal to meal?  nurse amanda... i'm lookin' at you.

saturday

saturday morning was supposed to be palling around (to see chris's grandma and then have lunch with my aunt libby) with mom and the kids but friday night after lisa's show, mother started feeling sick and spent the rest of the night (until morning) throwing up and feeling terrible.  sooo, we were initially hoping it was just some dinner that didn't sit right but it became apparent that it was some sort of 24 hour bug.  so saturday morning abigail and brady and i slept in til 9 or so but then discovered that mom was sick and i'm not authorized to drive the rental car (and dad was at church training all day... their reason for the visit to utah).  so then i was going over as many options as possible of how to best use our remaining hours in utah.  the thing that worked out was calling chris's aunt (see... i married into the family and just treat them as my own) and explaining the situation.  so she came by the hotel to pick up me and the kids and we all went to grandma virginia's house for a nice visit.  i am 100% in love with chris's grandma virginia (my father in law's mother) because she is absolutely adorable.  her voice is sweet and her mannerisms are sweet and she's funny (my favorite is that she always says "i'm going mental" because she's lost much of her memory) but really because she is an absolute saint.  really, everyone that knows her will tell you the same thing.  when we were deciding potential names for abigail, we were trying to figure out a way to name her after grandma virginia.  but with a name like belva virginia... it wasn't happening.  but brady's middle name is robert (for grandpa hillier) so that's our link to these precious grandparents.

anyways, grandma virginia lives alone now and can barely see.  i can only imagine how lonely that must get.  i wasn't aware she knew i was going to stop by, but when i went to her house and saw this on her calendar, my heart melted and i was so grateful that i was able to find a way to get the kids and myself over for a visit.

yes, hillier is misspelled.  and yes, that is her last name too.  i told you she's precious.

 

 

chris's aunt is always giving abigail tons of clothes and dresses and stuff and this time she brought clothes and shoes but also this minnie mouse hair set.  brady's is the curling iron.  they had fun with it while we were visiting.

now tell me this isn't the sweetest thing ever.  and see grandma virginia's shirt?  when we got out of the car abigail was freaking out because she and grandma have the same shirt.  she was talking about the sweater she was wearing in this post.  love it.

i adore this woman.  through and through.  her heart is really as pure as they come and she is one in a million.

and then we got back to the airport at 12:30, just in time to check in on my mom in the hotel room and get our stuff to the curb to wait for my aunt libby to come pick us up and take us to the airport.  the plan was for all of us to go out to lunch... but i guess hitching a ride to the airport is second place.  

this was the setup i used to single handedly get all of us and our stuff to the counter to check in.  that cheap stroller doesn't steer with one hand (especially with 100+lbs of stuff on it) so i was awkwardly squat pulling the stroller (by the carseat) and my rolling carry-on bag.  and i got plenty of audible "she's got her hands full" comments from people amused by the spectacle i was putting on.  also, i asked abigail to stand by the bag and smile.  this is what she gave me.

have no fear.  brady was doing fine under there!

and i'm so sad i missed temple square!  next time for sure.  maybe i'll even take advantage of the free shuttle!

 my honey and mark, john, and nate arrived at the other end of A, so we waited by the escalator for a minute and met up with them.  abigail was thrilled. 

honey told me all about his crazy week (because this was the first time we'd actually talked all week) as we drove home... with a quick stop by the office so he could pick up a few things.  of course both kids passed out in the car.  and going right along with tradition, brady woke up when we arrived and abigail stayed fast asleep.  i let her keep sleeping in the garage for an hour or two and finally unbuckled her and carried her up to her crib.  she woke up when i put her in but was fine once i brought up her pink nalgene sippy (ocd much?) and... slept until 9 am the following morning.  almost 16 hours straight.  this trip wore her out.  brady, on the other hand, didn't go to sleep til after ten.  and woke up at 2:30, didn't go back to sleep for 45 minutes, and then was up again by 9.  that kid.

when we got home, i started the search for my keys, which i'd put in a "safe place" during the trip.  emptying out my purse looking for my keys, i found the rest of my ruby snap cookie and was just savoring a bite when...

i got this text.

fyi, i did NOT text her a picture of my mouth.

 but really, i am soooo craving another maris right now.  apparently you can buy the frozen dough balls and bake them yourself... which is what lisa was eating.  a little less expensive... and you can eat it hot.  mmmm.  

 

 

and then i called lisa up on the phone and made her talk to me for an hour.  because i missed her so badly.  and because i have a hard time returning home from trips.  it's always extremely bittersweet for me.  and christopher wasn't there to comfort me (when we got home and i was looking for my keys, he realized he left his ipad on the plane in the pocket of the seat back in front of him.  so he had to call the airline and go back to pick it up.  annoying mistake but thankfully it wasn't lost for good!

so that's a wrap!  this took way too long but 24 hours after our return... and my whole three day trip is documented!  now i can relive it whenever i want!  i'm already trying to figure out when i can sneak away to utah again... who knew it could be so insanely fun out there?!?!  i'm in love.

provo!

after ruby snap, we headed straight down to provo.  we had great intentions to visit my friend sawah, drive around provo, eat at the creamery, and walk around campus. all those things happened except campus.  we were finishing up at the creamery when we looked at our watches to see how much time we had to spend on campus... zero time.  we got in the car and drove straight up to the airport to get dad.  we'll have to walk around campus next time, but at least we got in the most important things!  like sawah!

on the way down i got this text from my cousin ginny and mom and i about died laughing.  then we kept hearing whisperings from abigail in the back seat where two people were having a conversation about going to daffodil's house.

the new tabernacle temple

 

playing with joshua!

sawah and brady

we went to a park across the street.  abigail struck up conversation in this gazebo with this sweet old lady with a walker.  the lady later asked me if i used peroxide or lemon juice to lighten abigail's hair.  apparently her mom did that to her when she was younger.  i'm pretty sure abigail's hair would be straight up white if i did that.

love birds.  anyone else singing the sound of music in their head right now?  gazebos will do that to you.

 

 

i know it's horrible picture quality because i had to zoom in and lighten it a ton but how awesome is this hugging pose?!  abigail is full out straddle squatting to hug joshua goodbye.  

and then at my request, she kissed him too.  it was so amazingly awkward.  his hands?  i love it.

us

my old apartment in liberty square.  that spring things with christopher started to get more official.

our old house.  we bought it when we were engaged, lived there the first year we were married, rented it out for a few years after we moved, and then eventually sold it while we were living in california.  it's so crazy to me that if chris had continued with his med school route, we could still be living there.  i can't even imagine living there with two kids but holy cow do i miss that house.  

the lawn and those broken mismatched blinds make it look kind junky (and that they park a car where there used to be manicured grass) but it was the cutest house ever.  so quaint and charming.  i still love it to death.

the hill.  there is so much new construction.  it makes everything else look so, so old.  i got so nostalgic driving around provo.  sawah, remember when that hill was covered in ice and we were on our hands and knees trying to climb it to get to church?  and we kept sliding down and dropping our scriptures?  felt like one of those obstacle course tv shows that make the contestants look ridiculous.

the bell tower.  where my honey and i got engaged.  it was a friday night and just a week before christmas and the view and the lights were gorgeous.  and right on cue, after i said yes, little snowflakes started falling all around us.  it was perfect.

creamery on ninth.  home of the most delicious hamburger ever.  and the chocolate milk that i lived on for three years of my life.

and as if i wasn't feeling sick enough from eating a million ruby snap cookies for breakfast and splitting a cheeseburger and fries for lunch, i had to get ice cream.  apparently a "single scoop" is actually two scoops so i ordered that and had them do vanilla in a cup for abigail (she was adamant about "WHITE ICE CREAM!" ... where's the fun in that?!) and i got coconut ice cream with chocolate swirl and crushed almonds.  it was delish.

then of course both kids fell asleep in the car on the way up to salt lake to get dad from the airport.  sleep deprived children.