from the quick journal I sometimes keep in the notes app on my phone:
so focused. Vacuumed and got dressed for the gym. Stacey came from 8:30-9:30. Got Abigail to school okay and then got to the gym for 10:05 Tabata with Mollee. It was good but didn’t leave me sore at all. Played on the playground while I nursed Andrew, went by chick fil a for calendar chicken strips and birthday cookie and then ate in the car in the Costco parking lot. Got a bunch of stuff from Costco and had to unpack it all when we got home. Always takes forever. All three kids slept for quiet time while I washed my car... so filthy from the road trip out to Utah in the snow. Picked Abigail up. She played outside while I swept the garage and did some yard work. I finally finished chopping off the rest of the lilies. So glad we got rid of some of them... ashamed that it still seems so hard for me to tend to the ones that remain. Also pulled a few weeds and felt good to get that all done. It was such a non stop productive day and then when honey got home, I turned into a complete bum. I had one of those times where I got sad all of a sudden. Trying to figure out what causes those moments.
such a happy kid.
Elizabeth requested to hold Andrew. I felt like he was doing a photo shoot on the beach with his side pose he was in.
Brady's latest thing is being a catcher. backwards hat and wears Chris's hockey elbow pads on his legs to be like the big leg pads a catcher wears. he's so cute. who wouldn't love to play catcher by the light of the Christmas tree?
as you can see, Elizabeth takes a pretty passive role in "holding" Andrew.
she kept trying to keep his head looking straight so his body would wiggle less.
it didn't work.
I can't look at this picture without cracking up. her face. her hands. so interested, but so... not actually helping.
back to keeping his head in place.
I texted this to Lisa and told her that Elizabeth was just practicing for when women get the priesthood. everything about Elizabeth is so, so funny.
Abigail and I had some special one on one time reading kit in my bed by the light of the Christmas tree. she was fidgeting the whole time with Andrews stuff that was within reach. when we were done reading, Abigail showed me how she made a wide brim hat for Sophie the giraffe. that girl is so creative.
and when I was closing up shop for the night, I saw this ornament on the tree. not sure exactly when Abigail made it (maybe when Brady was playing catch and Elizabeth was "holding" Andrew?), but she put it on the tree without mentioning it. I was so impressed. she did such a great job coloring and cutting and designing it. even the part holding it on was decorated and cut... no glue or tape used... it's all cut from a single piece of paper. I'm going to have her make more.
I woke up (well, who are we kidding... it set in last night) sore from the weights class I did at the gym yesterday. Thank goodness it was yoga day today. I managed to get Abigail ready and off to school on time and the rest of us ready so we could drive straight to the gym. Dropped the kids off at the daycare and got five minutes of warm up on the treadmill and then went upstairs for yoga. It was a sub named Debra and she was telling us scripture stories and mythical stories to go along with the yoga poses and she was all about her theme of the day of heat and change. Very entertaining and a pretty good workout. Picked the kids up at 10:45 and hung out at the playground with molly for an hour or so while our kids played. The weather was beautiful although maybe a tad hot. That sun.
Got brady and Elizabeth lunch (well, brady likes to make his own sandwiches now so that part was easy) and he read books to Andrew since I was putting Andrew down for nap. I put Elizabeth down at 1 and gray got picked up at 1:10 and I was in the shower by 1:15. Woohoo! My whole nap time was spent showering and then ironing some of Chris's shirts. I'm 100% against ironing but our dryer has been sporadically not doing the wrinkle mode that keeps it tumbling. So I've accumulated a stack of wrinkled dress shirts. Tackled all seven shirts. Ironing is the biggest waste of time ever. Also, Elizabeth never napped. Hung out in her crib forever and eventually started crying so I finally got her out at 3 something and she actually was awesome reading books quietly in her room while I did ironing and put the shirts away.
At 3:55, my alarm went off for school pickup and as I told Elizabeth to get her shoes on, I smelled a dirty diaper. Got her diaper changed. Went to Andrew to get him buckled. Also had a dirty diaper. I think I was ten minutes late picking up the kids. Whoops. But I did grab three bananas and passed those to the kids while they were getting buckled and we were all able to drive straight to the library. I know we just went last night (and had a super embarrassing exit that involved three of my four children screaming), but Chris was in slc today and not getting back til 8. When he's out of town, it almost guarantees us a trip to the library.
Two minutes after we walked in, one of the librarians was walking around saying there was availability for the fairy garden making class that was about to start (I'd had Abigail on the waitlist) because people last minute didn't show up. So Abigail and Brady ran over to join that and I nursed Andrew and Elizabeth played.
After it was over and people were clearing out and cleaning up (but of course Abigail was still working hard), the kids noticed that where were actually foam crowns and orange sugar cookies and orange juice juice boxes and I decided that I was officially winning at motherhood today.
We stayed a bit longer so the kids could play and we checked out our hold books for Abigail and a whole ton of books that I'd collected for Brady. We left after 6:30 and got home closer to 7. Walking in, I started an episode of paw patrol for the kids while I nursed Andrew and put him to bed (that kid is so neglected and so patient... he's not really a pet rock anymore... I'd put him firmly in the carry on baggage category).
honey got home while the kids and I were eating dinner. Brady and I went upstairs and read a bit. I just wanted to show him the new library books I got for him and show him that even though some of them look hard... he's completely capable. I haven't told Brady yet, but we're gonna take a break from his reading lesson book for a while. we may or may not come back to it yet... I haven't decided yet. I want to see how he does with me working with him out of real books that have a much larger set of vocabulary words. I know he's capable of reading more than just the limited words in the reading lesson book.
anyway, then Brady had a meltdown when I told him I was going to put Elizabeth to bed (it was 9:00 or something and she didn't even nap at all today!) so I left him and I think he was asleep within two or three minutes. it was by the time I finished brushing Elizabeth's teeth. ha. I think school days really wear him out because he doesn't get a nap or any quiet resting time.
so once all the kids were asleep, I was so exhausted but my kitchen was a disaster. lately, I've assigned that job to Christopher, but right now is his busiest time of year and he said he wouldn't be able to get to it tonight or tomorrow morning so I went downstairs and did the pile up of dishes and started the dishwasher and cleared off the counters. it felt really good to get that accomplished but didn't feel good to see the clock say 11 and know my sleep time was dwindling. still so worth it to wake up to clean kitchen though. it makes all the difference to my day.
I'm not gonna pretend that all my days are so amazing, but I couldn't fail to record this special one. everything just came together for me and I feel so lifted up from it. thank goodness for amazing days.
today was picture day for Abigail at school. we started early and somehow managed to get her picture-ready and squeak her to school on time! woohoo!
Brady got himself dressed and on the stairs called out his typical "BASEBALL PLAYER COMING THROUGH!!!" he walked in so pleased with himself that I could hardly stand it and then climbed into bed with me and said "I dressed so cool I can't even believe it!" and it put me over the edge. he is too much.
how could you not fall in love with this guy? he's so endearing to me.
he's also really skilled and surprised me today with a new trick. I've never even seen him practice anything relating to standing on his bike seat so it totally took me by surprise that he was so proficient. he's also really good at riding with one hand and can even ride with no hands for a few seconds at a time.
Jill recommended this book to me on Thursday when we were at her house to see the baby pigs... I ordered it a few days later and it just came today while we were eating lunch outside. we did the first five lessons in 34 minutes. they only went so fast because Brady already knows his letter sounds but I thought it would be good to not skip any lessons so we're just doing them quickly instead. once things get more challenging, I've heard the lessons take at least 20 minutes and sometimes parents split them between two days and also take several days of a break in between lessons. Brady doesn't love it, but he's extremely motivated by mini marshmallows at the moment so we'll see how things progress with this. I'm working my way through reading the parent portion.
honey sent me this picture on his drive from Vegas to st. George.
our neighbor's are having sprinkler issues so we had a stream of water washing onto our driveway. Elizabeth found it and promptly took off her shoes to frolic in the little stream.
she was thrilled.
Abigail got home from school and started spinning. Brady joined her. surprisingly, no one got seriously injured.
I can't remember what it was, but I made a request and this was her response.
which led to her being keenly interested in exploring her belly button. we're all pretty easily distracted around here.
lately, I've let go of trying to have a clean house and it's amazing how much else I'm able to do during the day. today, we spent a ton of time outside, I worked with Brady on reading lessons, I read the intro of the reading book, and I continued to listen to the audiobook of 1, 2, 3, magic which was recommended to me yesterday afternoon by the family therapist that Abigail and I met with. Chris and I will meet with him again in two weeks and I want to have read the book and had time implementing it before I return. luckily, our library has hoopla, which I've heard about a lot but never actually used. I put the book on hold at the library but realized it could be a while before it became available.... but it was instantly available on hoopla, so I made an account, downloaded the app, and was listening to the audio book within minutes. today, I've just had it on play while I've been outside watching the kids or inside nursing Andrew. I've never been into audio books, but I may have to give them a fair shot because I'm getting in so much more "reading" than what I otherwise would. I'm over 2 hours in and have less than 5 hours to go. but I know it's less than that because I'm listening to it at 1.5 speed. I haven't started using it at all, but tonight with the kids, I kept thinking about how it would come in handy. as with every other thing, I'm insecure about trying something new because it's hard for me to remember things long term. it's one thing to parent a child with ADD... it's another thing when the parent also has ADD. like last year, Abigail did SO well at school with the star chart her teacher did to reward good behavior. I didn't even attempt anything like that at home because I just can't remember stuff like that. honestly, it's hard enough for me to remember to get my kid a glass of milk if they ask while I'm cooking dinner or doing anything else in the kitchen. sooo, wish me luck.
I feel like I've just got a lot on my mind lately that I've had to think about... and I know it's nothing for anyone else, but for me it feels like I'm juggling ten million things.
Brady is now in the afternoon A class at preschool for just Tuesday/thursday and his first day will be tomorrow.
my paint color is still getting considered. HA.
I'm planning to join the rec center gym.
I'm hoping to do reading lessons with Brady during quiet time.
we checked out a tablet from the library that's loaded with math games that Brady can also do for a bit during quiet time.
I'm listening to 1, 2, 3, magic on audiobook and will implement it before our next appointment... hopefully with all three kids... Elizabeth is turning into a bit of a defiant firecracker.
I'm slowly getting the kids on a schedule and moving up their bedtime. tonight I got everyone in bed by 7:45 and lights out for everyone by 8. Brady and Elizabeth were out by 8:15 and Abigail closer to 8:30 or 8:45. progress.
as I said... no one else would really consider this anything to juggle but for me, it's felt busy and chaotic. I'm hoping as we stick to the schedule I've made and I power through things, it will become more mainstream and automatic for me. one thing that has really really helped is that I quit Facebook two weeks ago. I did this a year and a half ago (I think maybe February of 2016) and didn't get on Facebook until October when I became pregnant and was in bed 24/7. this time, like the last, wasn't planned. it was just one day that I decided I would skip Facebook and then it felt good so I kept doing it. two weeks ago, my neighbor Stephanie that just moved posted on Facebook a picture illustration of the varieties of spiders and posted about how she'd just killed four spiders already that morning in her apartment. I commented about how she better not ever post pictures like that again and then realized that that was a big mistake. because then my notifications were filled with that photo every time someone commented, liked, replied to, etc. that photo post. I know you can unfollow the post... which I tried to do without looking at my phone (because spider picture)... but almost reported Stephanie to Facebook by accident. whoops. gave up on that and decided I would just take a few days off Facebook and wait till it blew over. but then I just decided maybe I should go on a Facebook fast for a bit. I'd love to quit Facebook for this whole school year but I'm not committed to it because the second I tell myself I can't have something then I want it fifty times more. right now, I'm just actively remembering and choosing to abstain from Facebook because it makes me happier. I truly need to quit it forever, I'm just not there yet. who wants to change my password for. me?
and now I'm off to clean my kitchen. or go to sleep. or maybe just eat a cookie (thanks mother! the gift that keeps on giving!!!). it's just glorious that I've already enjoyed over an hour of silence and it's only 10pm. woohoo!
but first... just wanted to say how grateful I am to have ambitions again. my mentality about life right now is a complete 180 from what it was earlier this year. reading parenting books, deciding to homeschool (and preschool) my child, spending time outdoors with my kids, choosing to join the gym... when six months ago I struggled to get out of bed, feed my children, and get myself dressed. just thinking about any one of those things would send me into a fit of depression and overwhelm. now, I'm back to waking up excited and just feeling frustrated that there's not enough time in the day to do everything I wish I could do. not the opposite of wishing that I didn't have to live my day and that it could just be night time again so I could fall back asleep into unconsciousness. it's so crazy to try to wrap my mind around the change. someone point me to this post next time I'm pregnant, please. ugh, I'm so not looking forward to going back to that again. in the mean time, I'll just enjoy this ambitiousness and hope that I feel.
