poor Andrew

Andrew didn't feel well today so we had a lot of snuggling and a doctor appointment.  

honey is out of town so we went to school spirit night at chick fil a.  Andrew's food of choice was strawberry jelly on a saltine cracker.

catching up a bit

sorry for the lack of blogging... Andrew has been such a crappy sleeper for the past several months (especially in Georgia where he was waking up every two (or less!) hours during the night... and every closet and drawer in my house is in complete disarray and my kids are just really time consuming and I've let myself take some time off from blogging.  as much as I absolutely love writing and posting pictures, it can be pretty time consuming.  thank goodness for the journal my dad gave me for Christmas... it's an every day journal and I can just write a few sentences each day and not feel guilty for not writing more.  I honestly don't know what I would do without it now... it has been such a blessing to me since I'm someone that feels stress at not keeping record of things and events.

anyway, life is good.

over the past week, Abigail has been doing better and our relationship has been going a bit better.  today was big in that I emailed her teacher that she'll be walking home from school each day with our neighbors and I talked to a number of medical professionals on the phone this morning and afternoon (our appointment was cancelled last minute by the doctor not being in the office today) about Abigail's medication and we'll be doubling the dose and hoping to see some positive results.  Abigail walked home from school today for the second time and it is honestly the best thing ever to not load the kids in the car to go pick her up.  and I feel like she's in a better mood when she gets here.

Brady, over the past week or two, has gone down hill, as has our relationship.  apparently these things are inversely related?  he's turned pretty moody and angry and sometimes belligerent.  he says it's because he isn't getting enough sleep and hasn't been napping as much as he needs to so we've been trying to make his naps more of a priority but I don't know that it's helping THAT much.  he's still wonderfully independent and all of his regular good qualities... he's just always angry at me.  I asked him about this and he says he always expects me to say no to his requests so he's just already upset even before he starts asking me a question.  it's not horrendous but it does make me pretty sad right now because I feel like I've lost a friend.

Elizabeth is opinionated and headstrong and holy cow, as hilarious as ever.  everything is her FAVORITE.  I don't think she understands that word very well and probably thinks it just means that she likes something.  literally every song she hears, she declares to be her favorite.  on Sunday, our closing song was "come along, come along" and I can't recall ever hearing that song before and, judging by the singing, or lack thereof, I think the rest of the congregation could have said the same thing.  but don't worry, just upon hearing the intro, Elizabeth is enthusiastically proclaiming that "I LIKE THIS SONG!!! IT'S MY FAVORITE SONG!!!"  also, we decided to all go as a family to Abigail's "it's great to be eight" meeting on Sunday night and Elizabeth had a lot of loud gas.  after each loud toot she's all, "I tooted!" and then proceeded to do it again.  she has an excellent sense of humor and is also developing a lot of opinions about books that she likes to read and favorite clothing/pj's/boots that she likes to wear.  right before Christmas, Elizabeth flipped a switch and went from being terrified and hating (like SCREAMING bloody murder through the whole experience) baths and showers, to being obsessed with showers and begging multiple times a day to take a shower.  Chris was cracking up the other day when he came home from work and saw us all and then was all "you've got the shower on while you just sit in bed?!" and I had to tell him that actually Elizabeth was showering.  she's also started requesting again to use the potty.  I had told her before that she for sure had to wait until after the holidays but I'm still going to try holding her off on that til she's closer to three or potty trains herself.  I can hope, right?

Andrew is great.  he's been sick with the worst congestion though... like soooo horrific.  I try to nose suck him as best I can but he still nurses and sounds like he's drowning and gasping for air.  he'll take three sucks and then turn his head to the side and breath like he's catching his breath for a bit and then he'll latch on and suck three times and do it again.  like he's swimming or something.  he's still mostly happy though, thank goodness, and has actually started sleeping longer just in the last three nights.  since he was previously waking around 11:30, 2:30, 4:30, and 7:30, this is a huge improvement to have him wake just once around 4:30 or 5.  we'll see if he's maturing and really starting to sleep longer stretches or if he's just doing this because this sickness is really taking it out of him.  also, I finally broke down and bought a baby scale.  his weight percentile is less than 0.1% and he only gained 5 or 6 ounces between his 4 and 6 month appointments.  I had some huge days of stress about it and was freaking out about my milk supply and was trying to supplement with milk from my freezer (but he either wasn't hungry or didn't want milk from a bottle) and it was just not great... all of that was happening the week before Christmas.  so I took fenugreek to boost my supply and I started nursing him allllll the time.  like at least every hour or two hours throughout the day and night.  I couldn't even tell you how many feedings he was getting in a 24 hour period because I felt like I was just nursing him constantly around the clock.  but I guess it worked because my supply met his needs and I quit taking the fenugreek and he's sleeping longer at night.  I asked his doctors office if I could bring him in for just a weight check to see if my efforts were effective or not and they said there was a copay for that.  I thought that seemed stupid but we have kaiser insurance so a lot of things about it are stupid.  instead of paying the $50 copay, I bought a scale for less than 40.  I'm happy to report that he's broken 13lbs which means that he'd gained over a pound in that month since his 6 month well check... woohoo!  also, I've realized how inaccurate and varying the scale measurements can be with a wiggly baby and I'm wondering how accurate that weight was that was taken at his 6 month appointment.  anyway, he's still less than .1% but he's growing and I know he's eating a lot and peeing a lot so that gives me comfort.  also, he's super vocal and social and happy and is hitting all of his milestones and sitting up and rolling over like a rockstar.  once he gets over this cold, I'm gonna have to get him weaned from the swaddle because he keeps rolling over and getting stuck on his belly.  Abigail did that too at this age but she was a happy beached whale... Andrew is not the happiest when he gets beached.  other random things to note... Andrews cheeks are almost always flushed and he is biting on everything. I'm still in mourning that we lost our Sophie giraffe a week and a half ago when we went to the library one evening.  I've checked their lost and found twice though (they keep a log of everything) and it was never turned in... which makes me worry that maybe it fell out of the car when I made a huge goodwill run on our way to the library but also gives me hope that maybe it's just hiding somewhere in our car even though our car is clean and there's really not anywhere for it to be. ugh.  so I was resorting to Andrew's next favorite toy and that went missing at the gym last week.  we never lose baby toys and now we've lost our favorite two within just a few days of each other!  major fail.  mostly still sad about Sophie though.  for sentimental reasons but also because of that $25 price tag.  let's all pray for a late Christmas miracle that she shows up somewhere.  I have a reward out for her though and told Brady that he'll get the biggest treat ever if he finds that stinking giraffe.  Andrew's gummy little gums neeeeeed it.

man, those quick summaries get longer with each kid.  this is why blogging is so time consuming... I'm too long winded to ever be quick.

anyway...

honey has been doing well... normal work and traveling and more work and travel.  he stays busy but I try for us to at least feel like we get some hang out time every few days.  tonight I felt like we kind of hung out for a good 20 minutes or so while the kids skated in the basement and I made dinner... so that was nice.  it sounds pathetic when I write it out but honestly, we're just kind of at a busy stage of life right now and it is what it is.

I'm hanging in there!  despite the constant mess and disorganization of my house and life in general, my days are happy.  my days are mostly getting Abigail off to school, taking the other three with me to the gym for a bit, doing lunch, quiet time, Abigail's after school stuff (unpacking backpack, homework, etc.), dinner, and bedtime.  it's a good routine we have down.  we've also been trying to make more of an effort to do fun things as a family and this past Saturday was great with going to the wildlife experience, costa vida, the lone tree library, and then watching beauty and the beast as a family.  we all have a good day if we can make a plan and stay focused on our priorities.  also, because that made me think of it... I am sooooo excited about the come follow me curriculum in relief society this year and counsel meetings and whatever other changes they've made that I don't even know the names of.  but for real, so pumped about come follow me and studying conference talks and having more of a discussion during lessons.  it's been so amazing already.

two kinds of sick

when it comes to kids, I feel like there's really just two kinds of sick. the kind of sick that makes them easier, and the kind of sick that makes them more difficult.

I mean, most people are familiar with how kids are crankier or up at night or crying a lot when they don't feel well, but we don't as often get to experience some of those most prime experiences of parenting when the sick kid is just calm and humble and sleepy and cuddly.  that's how Abigail was earlier this year when I had to take her to the ER for what we thought was appendicitis.  it also makes me think of one time when Abigail was little (she's never been cuddly) and she climbed in my lap and fell asleep on me while I was watching general conference or something.  both times were so obvious.

last night though, I chalked it up to Andrew just being really tired and worn out from being awake for the whole ward Christmas party.  he fell asleep with no problem without a binky (normally he falls asleep with a binky for daytime naps but not during any night wakings) and just seemed soooo extra calm.  during the night, he slept for extra long and I even heard him cry a bit up settle himself back to sleep which isn't terribly common.  I thought maybe something might be up but he's typically just an easy going baby so it wasn't a dramatic difference from his norm.  but make no mistake, he's got his first stomach bug.  he threw up once during the night and then first thing in the morning before I got him up.  then he threw up when I was about to put him down for nap (standing on exact spot of crunchy carpet that is left from when Elizabeth threw up there on Wednesday) and it luckily was all contained on the two of us and my bathroom sink (since I sprinted there).  then I got him all changed and cleaned up and reswaddled and was standing in Chris's office about to put him down for nap and it happened AGAIN and luckily I made it to my bathroom sink again and so neither of us got messy at all.  so third time was the charm... I finally put Andrew down and he instantly fell asleep without a binky and without a peep.

so we'll see how the next 24 hours play out.  I'm hoping it can all get out of his system today since tomorrow is Brady's birthday.  cross your fingers for that one!  in the mean time, my biggest goals and accomplishments revolve around keeping vomit out of our carpet* and preferably in a sink.

*on Tuesday night/wednesday morning, Elizabeth was throwing up in her crib.  upon waking for the day, I knew she was still sick, even though she was acting mostly normal.  but that's a hard combo... to have a mobile playing kid that could throw up at any moment.  it's not like she was laying on the sofa for hours on end where I could just surround her with towels and blankets.  I left her in the kitchen while I went to chris's office (we have Andrew's little travel bed in there for the time being) to put Andrew down for a nap and Elizabeth came in fussing and crying and I couldn't understand what she was saying until she started burping and looking like she was about to throw up.  but at that point, what could I do with a nursing baby in my arms?!  so, we have a big patch of crusty carpet still. and that's exactly where I was standing (about to put Andrew down for a nap) when he started burping and I sprinted to the hardwood and then again to my bathroom sink.  and then SOMEHOW it happened the next time I went to put him down again... standing on that very spot and hearing the burping start.  so I'm starting to wonder if that spot is cursed.  seriously... what're the odds?

holiday party at boondocks

I went to my Friday barbell class and then my Christopher was texting me about how it was his Friday to get together with his sushi group (some guys from church that all work in the same general vicinity and get together for a sushi lunch one Friday a month) so I texted him a picture of my calf raises I was doing and told him he better keep up. neither of us are big on exercise but the tables have turned for the time being.

back when Elizabeth didn't have her own helmet, I would let her wear this hat while she rode her bike.  she still calls it a helmet.  this is the best age... I really do miss when they start dropping these weird quirks.  (like how she thinks multiple items are always "three")

also, for the first time, Elizabeth was able to open the door from the garage to the kitchen.  this is going to be so useful for helping her not get trapped in the garage!

we've been doing reading lessons again with the plan to finish by Brady's birthday.  cross your fingers for us!

Brady is making great strides on drawing people.  this is a picture of Abigail, himself, and Elizabeth.

we went to a holiday party for one of honey's clients.  this is the first year they've had it at boondocks.  the environment was definitely easier with kids in tow (the past few years, it's been at moe's and they have bar height tables/chairs) because it was in it's own private room with bowling lanes and tables, but I won't lie.... the food was nothing to write home about.

the Santa, as always, was legit.  execept that he listened to Brady's request and told him he could probably make that happen and when I asked what he asked for, he was all "it's so loud in here, I can never hear."  COME ON, SANTA!  luckily Brady told me later.  ; )

elizabeth sat on his lap but refused to make eye contact.  it was subtle enough that I'm sure people were confused why I was laughing.

this was the closest she got.  later in the night, Santa was handing out teddy bears and Elizabeth went back to get one.  apparently she walked up and saw him and just busted out crying.  then she ran up juuuuust far enough, grabbed the bear, and ran away.  I was so confused when she came back and looked like she'd recently been crying and why Julie also looked like she'd been crying from laughing.  that girl.  always something.

I think this is our first year of no crying since Brady was born.  Abigail has never cried with Santa, and Brady did every year until he could pass that torch to Elizabeth.  Elizabeth was peer pressured into not crying this time and Andrew was just fine.

Elizabeth was devouring everything from cauliflower and cucumbers and celery (I don't know that I've ever just given her a stick of celery before... I don't like it... but she stole one from Brady's plate and went to town on it) to onion rings and French fries and honey's pizza to my pastas and garlic bread.  and of course orange soda and purple soda and popsicles.  watch your plate when she's around... she will almost never ask permission first.

it was a fun night.  it was also fun that I saw a girl there that I knew.  she goes to the same weight class that I go to on Wednesday mornings, and I've seen her around Parker before, at the library mostly, but this was the first time that we formally met.  so that was exciting to make a new friend!

Brady/norah, Elizabeth/me, homemade pizza

Abigail's hair is like fine thread.  and while she sleeps, rumpelstiltskin, weaves it into this.

every morning, a new 3-D creation greets me.  it's like cotton candy gone bad.

we're in December! so we kept the December page and sent the rest of the calendar to the recycle bin.  but how cute it is that Brady crosses off each day.  he calls it his chart.  I basically turned 2017 into a to do list when I gave him this calendar.  that kid.

I went to the barbell class and then listened/read scriptures while I stretched afterward.

this is Sarah.  I'm a bad friend so I took this picture of her.  she organized a girls night for my birthday and bought me pizza and I just sit on a park bench and take pictures of her looking like a crazy person.  and then she took Brady to Costco with her and Norah and kept him until 4pm.  she is a good friend.

and so lovable.

Norah pushing Brady...

Brady pushing Norah...

while Sarah and I Marco polo'd Marissa.  it was a beautiful moment.

Elizabeth was SO SAD that Brady got to go to Costco with Norah and eat samples and she had to come home with me so I let her ride in Brady's carseat.  the whole way home she's all "so fun!!!"  ha.

I mean seriously, look at that face.  pure joy.

our neighbors have those blow up Christmas decorations on their lawn and they look so nice from 4pm-6am but then when the sun rises, it's like there was a massacre at the North Pole.

Abigail was at school, Brady at Costco with Sarah and Norah, and Andrew asleep in his carseat... so Elizabeth and I had so one on one time and it was AMAZING.  oh my gosh, she is such a funny kid.  she started saying "oh goodness!" out of the blue and only sometimes says it in the correct context so that was fun.  also, she loves acting like a grown up or like she always knows what's going on.  and she's a ham for the camera.  and she was thrilled that we shared a banana and Nutella (if you haven't already... microwave a little bowl of it and it's basically chocolate fondue) together at the start of our lunch.  when she's not driving me crazy, she is seriously the best ever.  so entertaining.

so then I put Elizabeth down for a nap around 1 and then Andrew woke up and then I semi put Andrew down for a nap and he fell asleep while I was in the shower at 1:45 and I spent some time prepping grapefruit for dinner and making pizza dough in my blender and blogging and then picked up Brady (and my mod pizza that I left in Sarah's car last night!) and then got Abigail from school.  we had a good after school time which typically doesn't happen.  the kids helped me make little pizzas.  we made four small pizzas... two cheese, two pepperoni and Elizabeth saying peppy-oni made me want to serve that for dinner every night.  she is getting so vocal with expressing what's on her mind.  during dinner, honey got a few calls/emails that wrapped him up with work and occupied him till 8:00.  and then left him in a rough mood for the rest of the night after that.  I don't want to sound ungrateful because he's got an amazing job, but man, it consumes him.  so then the kids all went crazy at 7 when I asked them to get ready for bed.  why does this happen?! they'd been so calm and listening to that point and they instantly got soooo hyper and silly.  I know I'm a terrible mother but I pretty much hate the sound of my kids' laughter.  It almost always is when they're supposed to be doing something like getting ready for bed but they're just messing around instead.  I really shouldn't care except that I told them to get ready at 7 so we could have plenty of time to read Christmas books before bed... but they messed around for 45 minutes and Abigail barely scraped by to get ready... we had 7 minutes and used that time for one picture book, prayers, and one scripture story... during that 7 minutes, Brady finally decided to clean his room and finished two seconds after I announced to Abigail that it was lights out.  then he went ballistic because he missed his chance and I thought to myself for the millionth time... "this is why I hate the sound of my kids' laughter.  it's just a precursor to THIS."  ugh... anyway.  eventually all the kids were asleep and my kitchen was semi cleaned and I gave myself a pat on the back for surviving one more day.

but seriously... that time with Elizabeth today was pure gold.

on a roll

from the quick journal I sometimes keep in the notes app on my phone:

so focused. Vacuumed and got dressed for the gym. Stacey came from 8:30-9:30. Got Abigail to school okay and then got to the gym for 10:05 Tabata with Mollee. It was good but didn’t leave me sore at all. Played on the playground while I nursed Andrew, went by chick fil a for calendar chicken strips and birthday cookie and then ate in the car in the Costco parking lot. Got a bunch of stuff from Costco and had to unpack it all when we got home. Always takes forever. All three kids slept for quiet time while I washed my car... so filthy from the road trip out to Utah in the snow. Picked Abigail up. She played outside while I swept the garage and did some yard work. I finally finished chopping off the rest of the lilies. So glad we got rid of some of them... ashamed that it still seems so hard for me to tend to the ones that remain. Also pulled a few weeds and felt good to get that all done. It was such a non stop productive day and then when honey got home, I turned into a complete bum. I had one of those times where I got sad all of a sudden. Trying to figure out what causes those moments. 

such a happy kid.

Elizabeth requested to hold Andrew.  I felt like he was doing a photo shoot on the beach with his side pose he was in.

Brady's latest thing is being a catcher.  backwards hat and wears Chris's hockey elbow pads on his legs to be like the big leg pads a catcher wears.  he's so cute.  who wouldn't love to play catcher by the light of the Christmas tree?

as you can see, Elizabeth takes a pretty passive role in "holding" Andrew.

she kept trying to keep his head looking straight so his body would wiggle less.

it didn't work.

I can't look at this picture without cracking up.  her face.  her hands.  so interested, but so... not actually helping.

back to keeping his head in place.

I texted this to Lisa and told her that Elizabeth was just practicing for when women get the priesthood.  everything about Elizabeth is so, so funny.

Abigail and I had some special one on one time reading kit in my bed by the light of the Christmas tree.  she was fidgeting the whole time with Andrews stuff that was within reach.  when we were done reading, Abigail showed me how she made a wide brim hat for Sophie the giraffe.  that girl is so creative.

and when I was closing up shop for the night, I saw this ornament on the tree.  not sure exactly when Abigail made it (maybe when Brady was playing catch and Elizabeth was "holding" Andrew?), but she put it on the tree without mentioning it.  I was so impressed.  she did such a great job coloring and cutting and designing it.  even the part holding it on was decorated and cut... no glue or tape used... it's all cut from a single piece of paper.  I'm going to have her make more.

it was a really good day.