Wednesday, August 23, 2017

I've got goals and ambitions!

today was picture day for Abigail at school.  we started early and somehow managed to get her picture-ready and squeak her to school on time!  woohoo!

Brady got himself dressed and on the stairs called out his typical "BASEBALL PLAYER COMING THROUGH!!!"  he walked in so pleased with himself that I could hardly stand it and then climbed into bed with me and said "I dressed so cool I can't even believe it!" and it put me over the edge.  he is too much.

how could you not fall in love with this guy?  he's so endearing to me.

he's also really skilled and surprised me today with a new trick.  I've never even seen him practice anything relating to standing on his bike seat so it totally took me by surprise that he was so proficient.  he's also really good at riding with one hand and can even ride with no hands for a few seconds at a time.



Jill recommended this book to me on Thursday when we were at her house to see the baby pigs... I ordered it a few days later and it just came today while we were eating lunch outside.  we did the first five lessons in 34 minutes.  they only went so fast because Brady already knows his letter sounds but I thought it would be good to not skip any lessons so we're just doing them quickly instead.  once things get more challenging, I've heard the lessons take at least 20 minutes and sometimes parents split them between two days and also take several days of a break in between lessons.  Brady doesn't love it, but he's extremely motivated by mini marshmallows at the moment so we'll see how things progress with this.  I'm working my way through reading the parent portion.

honey sent me this picture on his drive from Vegas to st. George.

our neighbor's are having sprinkler issues so we had a stream of water washing onto our driveway.  Elizabeth found it and promptly took off her shoes to frolic in the little stream.

she was thrilled.

Abigail got home from school and started spinning.  Brady joined her. surprisingly, no one got seriously injured.






I can't remember what it was, but I made a request and this was her response.

which led to her being keenly interested in exploring her belly button.  we're all pretty easily distracted around here.

lately, I've let go of trying to have a clean house and it's amazing how much else I'm able to do during the day.  today, we spent a ton of time outside, I worked with Brady on reading lessons, I read the intro of the reading book, and I continued to listen to the audiobook of 1, 2, 3, magic which was recommended to me yesterday afternoon by the family therapist that Abigail and I met with.  Chris and I will meet with him again in two weeks and I want to have read the book and had time implementing it before I return.  luckily, our library has hoopla, which I've heard about a lot but never actually used.  I put the book on hold at the library but realized it could be a while before it became available.... but it was instantly available on hoopla, so I made an account, downloaded the app, and was listening to the audio book within minutes. today, I've just had it on play while I've been outside watching the kids or inside nursing Andrew.  I've never been into audio books, but I may have to give them a fair shot because I'm getting in so much more "reading" than what I otherwise would.  I'm over 2 hours in and have less than 5 hours to go.  but I know it's less than that because I'm listening to it at 1.5 speed.  I haven't started using it at all, but tonight with the kids, I kept thinking about how it would come in handy.  as with every other thing, I'm insecure about trying something new because it's hard for me to remember things long term.  it's one thing to parent a child with ADD... it's another thing when the parent also has ADD.  like last year, Abigail did SO well at school with the star chart her teacher did to reward good behavior.  I didn't even attempt anything like that at home because I just can't remember stuff like that.  honestly, it's hard enough for me to remember to get my kid a glass of milk if they ask while I'm cooking dinner or doing anything else in the kitchen.  sooo, wish me luck.  

I feel like I've just got a lot on my mind lately that I've had to think about... and I know it's nothing for anyone else, but for me it feels like I'm juggling ten million things.  

Brady is now in the afternoon A class at preschool for just Tuesday/thursday and his first day will be tomorrow.
my paint color is still getting considered.  HA.
I'm planning to join the rec center gym.
I'm hoping to do reading lessons with Brady during quiet time.
we checked out a tablet from the library that's loaded with math games that Brady can also do for a bit during quiet time.
I'm listening to 1, 2, 3, magic on audiobook and will implement it before our next appointment... hopefully with all three kids... Elizabeth is turning into a bit of a defiant firecracker.  
I'm slowly getting the kids on a schedule and moving up their bedtime.  tonight I got everyone in bed by 7:45 and lights out for everyone by 8.  Brady and Elizabeth were out by 8:15 and Abigail closer to 8:30 or 8:45.  progress.  

as I said... no one else would really consider this anything to juggle but for me, it's felt busy and chaotic.  I'm hoping as we stick to the schedule I've made and I power through things, it will become more mainstream and automatic for me.  one thing that has really really helped is that I quit Facebook two weeks ago.  I did this a year and a half ago (I think maybe February of 2016) and didn't get on Facebook until October when I became pregnant and was in bed 24/7.  this time, like the last, wasn't planned.  it was just one day that I decided I would skip Facebook and then it felt good so I kept doing it.  two weeks ago, my neighbor Stephanie that just moved posted on Facebook a picture illustration of the varieties of spiders and posted about how she'd just killed four spiders already that morning in her apartment.  I commented about how she better not ever post pictures like that again and then realized that that was a big mistake.  because then my notifications were filled with that photo every time someone commented, liked, replied to, etc. that photo post.  I know you can unfollow the post... which I tried to do without looking at my phone (because spider picture)... but almost reported Stephanie to Facebook by accident.  whoops.  gave up on that and decided I would just take a few days off Facebook and wait till it blew over.  but then I just decided maybe I should go on a Facebook fast for a bit.  I'd love to quit Facebook for this whole school year but I'm not committed to it because the second I tell myself I can't have something then I want it fifty times more.  right now, I'm just actively remembering and choosing to abstain from Facebook because it makes me happier.  I truly need to quit it forever, I'm just not there yet.  who wants to change my password for. me?

and now I'm off to clean my kitchen.  or go to sleep.  or maybe just eat a cookie (thanks mother! the gift that keeps on giving!!!).  it's just glorious that I've already enjoyed over an hour of silence and it's only 10pm.  woohoo!

but first... just wanted to say how grateful I am to have ambitions again.  my mentality about life right now is a complete 180 from what it was earlier this year.  reading parenting books, deciding to homeschool (and preschool) my child, spending time outdoors with my kids, choosing to join the gym... when six months ago I struggled to get out of bed, feed my children, and get myself dressed.  just thinking about any one of those things would send me into a fit of depression and overwhelm.  now, I'm back to waking up excited and just feeling frustrated that there's not enough time in the day to do everything I wish I could do.  not the opposite of wishing that I didn't have to live my day and that it could just be night time again so I could fall back asleep into unconsciousness.  it's so crazy to try to wrap my mind around the change.  someone point me to this post next time I'm pregnant, please.  ugh, I'm so not looking forward to going back to that again.  in the mean time, I'll just enjoy this ambitiousness and hope that I feel.

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