Sunday, December 17, 2017

what makes a best friend?

thinking of my friends, I've realized they all have characteristics from the same small list.

they're funny.  I sure do love being friends with funny people.  it's like every interaction is just a real treat.  the other day, I caught myself reading through months of text message conversation that I'd had with weed.  it just reads better than a good book.  everything was making me smile and laugh out loud all over again.  we've been friends since birth (mine, since I'm younger) and she's still the funniest person I know.

they're candid.  I love a little tmi.  when I can sit down with someone and have a conversation where almost nothing is off limits, I naturally feel so comfortable.  we can talk about our less than glittery feelings, how rarely we actually do those less desirable chores, and any bodily function or weirdness that comes up without having to redirect the conversation.  my friend Sarah that's in my ward... this is 100% her.

they're loyal.  I have another friend from birth (hi Diana!) that I'm horribly crappy at keeping in touch with.  despite that, we are friends.  I feel confident that even if we talked for five minutes a year, for the next 20+ years, I would still consider her family and be totally fine asking for a huge last minute favor or crashing at her house if I was passing through her neck of the woods.

just these three characteristics hit most every person I consider to be a close friend.  still, there's just one more category that was hard for me to pin down.  and, as weird as it sounds, it's the people that I'm not truly good friends with... people that may not even consider me a friend.  one person in particular comes to mind... we were visiting teaching companions a few years ago and she's still in my ward.  I'm sure she thinks I'm fine and nice and just another person at church, but I have such huge respect for her as a person.  she is so kind and so hardworking and never feels sorry for herself and she's so satisfied with her life and her situation in a way that I just didn't even know was possible.  I look up to her so much and I know she has no idea.  despite this... I would be willing to make huge sacrifices for her.  so... not sure exactly how to sum up the last category.

they're just good people.  if I can watch them from near or far and see their overwhelming goodness, I can't help but love them and consider them a true friend, regardless of if they even have me on their radar.

so that's it.  this was my thought process a few weeks ago while I was driving home from the gym and thinking about why some people stand the test of time or why someone can go from stranger to best friend basically overnight.  I'll have to edit this is something changes, but basically this is it.  these four things are the best indicators of who I'll consider a friend... and if they've got multiple or all of the characteristics from the list, they're likely on the very top of my best friends list.

I'm so thankful for my friends and all of the great relationships I have in my life right now.

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