24 weeks and 25 weeks

How far along: 24 weeks  (3.20.10)

Total weight gain/loss: + 13 lbs.  yeay!

Maternity clothes?: loran gave me some maternity jeans that might fit later.  liza sent me some capris that actually fit right now so i'm hoping to get over being so self conscious about my ankles!

Stretch marks?: of course.  but i had a dream this week that i got stretch marks over every inch of my body.  it was disgusting.

Sleep: not fabulous.  i just go from one side to the other all night.  which isn't fun because it hurts to turn over!

Best moment this week:  mom and em coming in town!!!

Movement: i'm feeling her move throughout the day, but still not when i'm moving around.  i'm addicted to feeling her move.  after i pray at night i just prop myself up on my back and feel her moving while i drift off to sleep.  I LOVE IT!

Food cravings:  smoothies.

Gender: GIRL!!!

What I miss:  my mobility.  getting in and out of em's car yesterday was UGH!  i felt obese and elderly.

Milestones: reaching viability.  my kid has a shot if she's born early!
Theme: the week of feeling the whole deal.  big, emotional, bathroom breaks, eating, movement, dr appt, clothes not fitting...
Extra:  my sweet christopher left for china.  mom and em came to keep me company!  not really baby related but still important current events.

How far along: 25 weeks  (3.27.10)

Total weight gain/loss: i've decided the scale i use is too unreliable.  i'm going to depend mostly on doctors visits from now on.

Maternity clothes?: wore maternity clothes for the first time this week!!!  but only a shirt or two.  completely cleaned out my closet and folded and put away all of my skinny shirts/skirts and hung up all of the maternity/big clothes!

Stretch marks?: they're getting worse.  i even had a dream that every inch of my body was covered in stretch marks.  even my too small ankles!  woke up and was happy to realize that my ankles and arms have little chance of getting stretch marks.

Sleep: pretty good!  with mom and em in town i was dead tired every night and had the whole bed to myself with chris being gone!

Best moment this week: playing with mom and em.  i probably had more fun than chris... and he spent his spring break in china!

Movement: definitely getting stronger and much more active.  i love every second of it.

Food cravings:  the cream cheese orange rolls we made.  they really hit the spot! 

Gender: GIRL!!!

What I miss:  nothing.  it's just all so wonderful.

Milestones: hitting 25 weeks!  NOW i feel like i'm on the more home stretch part of pregnancy.  i actually get sad and panicky about how pregnancy is going by too fast.  i'll count on the third trimester to change that!
Theme: the week of the time warp!  fastest week of my life because i was having so much fun with mom and em.  refer to above... it's just going by too fast... especially considering the amount of time i spent dreaming/obsessing over being pregnant.
Extra:  at the grocery store i left my cart in the middle of the aisle.  i apologized and made some joking comment about always being in the way.  can't remember her exact phrasing but she said something to the extent of "girl, you just wait a little while til that belly of yours gets bigger, then you'll for sure always be in the way!" [add slightly ghetto voice]  it made my day!  i love every comment from strangers asking when i'm due or telling me congrats or anything really.... anything to remind me that i'm pregnant.  i've also discovered how unphotogenic i am these days.  although i'm in a delicate state, my camera (and em's and mom's) would have you believe i am as delicate as a charging rhinoceros.  i really don't think i'm in to that huge and lumbering stage yet, although the third trimester is quickly approaching, but in pictures i look huge/fat/thick/gross/etc.  when i actually look that way in person, THEN what will the cameras portray?!?!

on my mind

here's stuff i've been thinking about lately...

the weather here this week has been absolutely heavenly!  it has made me feel happier, prettier (yes, i admitted it, good weather makes me feel pretty), and more inclined to enjoy my job on a minute by minute basis.  i spend every second possible outside and it seems like my day goes by too fast almost!

my sweet christopher is heading to china saturday morning.  he's going on a global study trip through the business school and is going to be so busy traveling from city to city and meeting tons of important people he probably won't even remember me.  but that's okay because...

my dear mother and my blogging sister are coming tomorrow!!!  and they should get here around the time i get off work so we can [hopefully] do something fun like go to a stanford baseball game for our first night together!  they'll be here until the end of the month (when chris comes back) so we'll have plenty of time to do plenty of fun things!  unfortunately i don't get any time off work so i'll miss out on lots of stuff BUT i'm happy to have the company!

i used to have a lot of other things on this list but i just got really tired and i actually have a lot i need to do tonight.  so oh well, at least we got three...

soft skin, veggies, and being stuck in the past

here are a few short stories for you.      short stories = stories without a point

soft skin
i'll prep you... this will sound wrong.

i like being touched.  it just feels good.  touch my hair, my arms, my back, whatever.  so i tell chris to touch me.  normally it's the really soft finger rub that tickles super bad and i love it because my mom got me hooked on it in my youth when she used to do it to me during church and before bed.  so after a busy week of taking morning showers (normally much more rushed than night showers) and not using any lotion whatsoever, today i took a leisurely shower before church and made sure to put lotion on my arms, legs, belly, and back (y'know, because my skin is stretching... i know it's not normal to use lotion on your lower back)... the first time in at least seven days.

so after church while i was making food, christopher was touching me (yeah, i know, it sounds bad every time) and asking if i had lotion on (he hates to touch me when i've put lotion on because he despises lotion) as a precaution.  i semi told him no like i always do (he really should be used to this by now) and he went on touching without noticing/caring that i was lying.  anyways, i have no idea why i'm writing all of this except that i thought it was hilarious that he kept commenting on my soft skin.  your skin is so soft!  why is it so soft?  how did you get such soft skin?  i tried to tell him it was because i finally put lotion on my poor, suffering, dry dry skin but he was kinda in denial about it.  so often he reminds me of a child.  he is so so cute.  ps- i am totally THAT wife.  the one that thinks somehow she got the most amazing husband in the whole world and wonders if all the other wives know that they got the short end of the stick.

veggies
i came home after church today and cooked some veggies.  i cut up some onion, red bell pepper, and zucchini.  threw it all in a pan with butter and garlic salt.  came back later and devoured it all.

i must have done something wrong because it all tasted way way way too good.  i mean seriously.  it was like the butter multiplied, or maybe the salt came out too fast.  i purposely made quite a bit so that there would be enough for chris to have some when he got home from his hungarian thing and so i could maybe have another serving later.  whoops.  must have forgotten about my ferocious appetite!  i ate the entire thing and all i can think about is more more more.  wow.

stuck in the past
yesterday i didn't even leave my apartment.  sure i have a cold, but really it was because i have no life.  want to know what i did in exchange for having a life?  i stayed in bed all day long embroidering and watching pride and prejudice.  sometimes i think 2010 just doesn't appeal to me enough.  sure i took breaks (i mean, i had to make a five hour movie last ten hours) but really, i just lost myself in it and it was glorious.  i was so upset when it ended and it was only 9:00 or so, so i watched the featurette.  y'know, the 20 or 30 minutes on the making of the movie.  i was sad when that ended too.  chris has another long day of studying ahead of him today (this is finals week before he heads to china) and i'm pretty sure i'm going to break out some embroidery and watch pride and prejudice again.  is two days in a row too much?  no way, i need to soak it all up while i have the time!

emilys
i talked to two emilys yesterday.  they were actually the only two people who called my phone and consequently the only people i interacted with besides my physically present but emotionally unavailable studying husband.  i talked to my dear friend emily jones for a whole 45 minutes.  she is always so busy and it was a luxury to talk in such a long stretch.  it was absolutely glorious and it made my day.  the second emily was my blogging sister.  who called to tell me stories!  she called at 11:30 and we talked til midnight.  it was a great conclusion to my day.  my favorite part of the phone call was when she told me her latest boy story.  i asked her what she thought of the guy to which she replied "well, there wasn't anything wrong with him."  (emmy, correct me since i'm sure the words aren't exact)  the funny thing is that i had been thinking throughout the story about how she just doesn't meet any guys these days that really wow her.  but really, you can't get anymore clear than that... "well, there wasn't anything wrong with him."

23 weeks

How far along: 23 weeks  (3.13.10)

Total weight gain/loss: + 14 lbs.  crap.

Maternity clothes?: not yet.  but got a few things from cami in the ward.  people are just so nice lending their clothes!

Stretch marks?: still the same ones.

Sleep: not as great this week.  mostly due to my severe cold congestion.  but if i prop up enough pillows i can get away with sleeping on my back AND not getting too stuffed up!

Best moment this week: SEEING my belly move when baby moves! 

Movement: i'm feeling her move throughout the day, but not when i'm moving around.  but this week things have definitely become more clear.  strong kicks, rolls, punches, etc.  it's soooo exciting!

Food cravings:  whatever i think will fill me up.  banana sandwiches have been really good this week...

Gender: GIRL!!!

What I miss:  my shirts fitting over my belly.  not being gus gus 24/7.

Milestones: still gotta say the biggest thing is seeing/feeling movement from the outside of my belly.
Theme: the week of lots of movement and being HUGE.
Extra:  got several strangers congratulating me or asking when i'm due.  it is very obvious these days.  maybe a little too obvious even?!?!  chris felt our kid move a couple times this week.  he can only feel the bigger kicks so half the time i'm telling him to keep his hand there he's telling me that i'm just making things up and nothing's going on.  on another [not so] funny note with my sweet husband, he can't stop loving the fat jokes.  just yesterday he made maybe one of my favorite yet.  i was wearing a shirt that has two small holes at the bottom that came from rubbing against my belt too much.  when he saw me he exclaimed "oh no!  you're so fat you ripped your shirt!!!"  i was half way through explaining the real reason behind the holes when i busted up laughing and tried to reprimand him for being insensitive.  it really was hilarious.  finally emailed my doctor this week about how i can't seem to get full and even though i'm exercising and eating pretty well i'm still gaining weight like crazy.  she basically said "yikes, you're right, watch your carbs and i'll see you at your appointment next week."  i love my doctor but i mean, that was the most unhelpful advice ever.  i'm going to be as big as a mountain by the time this kid comes out.  good thing she won't be able to talk yet and will be incapable of making fat jokes at me like her precious father.  can't believe our kid weighs about a pound and is almost a foot long.  when i first found out we were pregnant i was always hoping our kid would make it to be 5 weeks or 6 weeks, or 1 gram (normally week 8) or 1/2 an inch.  all of those things i thought were so HUGE and such a big deal!  i can't believe our kid did it all and is now 23 weeks and like 500 grams!  all the time i think to myself "wow, i can't believe it's finally me.  it's finally happening.  it's really here!"  it leaves me speechless. 

super boring post... probably because i'm bored.

yesterday was a pretty big day for me.  i SAW my belly moving on the outside from my kid moving on the inside!  i know i know, it happens in every pregnancy but i gotta say, like everything else, i think it is the most remarkable thing ever!  so yesterdays milestones.  seeing and feeling kid move from the outside.  and it was pretty exciting that chris got to feel it too later that night.

so on a slightly related note.  feel free to laugh at me but i just gotta tell you what my latest thing is that i'm most excited about for having a kid (did that even make sense?!?!) and don't feel like you need to reply to this.  i'm most excited (at least currently) that our kid is going to be so ordinary in probably every single way possible but that i'm going to think she is the smartest, most beautiful, most precious baby that has ever been born and that when she drools or her head drops slightly to one side or she burps i'm going to be absolutely obsessed with it and think it's just incredible.  because right now, yes, i know that babies and kids are all wonderful and amazing and talented in their own ways but how many times have we been shown baby pictures of someone's new nephew, daughter, grandson, etc. where someone just can't stop going on about how cute he or she looks at exactly the precise moment that picture was taken and all you can see is a baby drooling with their head about to fall off their shoulders and their eyes slightly droppy?!?!  call me insensitive but i just look at those pictures and see a drooling baby and i don't need to see 37 pictures because to me, they all look the exact same!!!

so anyways, i know i'm totally going to be THAT mom.  the one that thinks my kid is super amazing and unique in every way and when they just give me a look i'm going to melt.  because i know that would only be the case if the kid was MINE.  so i can drool over my precious drooling kid (how many times have i said drool?!?!) and it'll just make me the happiest girl in the world.

sorry for the babbling.  just had a dream last week that chris and i were watching this normal looking kid doing normal things like rolling over and giggling and smiling and we were the two happiest people you've ever seen (because in the dream that kid was our kid) and couldn't get enough of it.  so since then i've just been thinking about how i can't wait for normal to become blissful and surreal.

{insert longing, peaceful sigh and smile}

a little old

here is a picture from the big ultrasound back on feb 4th.  it's a little blurry because it's a picture of a picture.    i can feel her moving around quite a bit these days and it really helps put my mind at ease. 

a little x rated but proof it's a girl

when i texted this picture to chris he wrote back
"looks just like her mom."

creepiest ultrasound picture i've ever seen.  she's yawning.

i know everyone is obsessed with little baby bottoms and little baby cheeks....

but for me it's the back of their necks...

 hope you like the pictures!  sorry they're so old. 

22 weeks

How far along: 22 weeks  (3.6.10)

Total weight gain/loss: +11 or 12 lbs... yikes!

Maternity clothes?: i'm gonna stop guessing on how much longer i can hold out.  i'm still surviving.

Stretch marks?: yes.  and i don't like this question just fyi.

Sleep: pretty good.  had a dream that chris and i were playing with our baby (except it was the little one year old boy i nanny for) and we were the happiest people in the world.  our kid would do normal things and we thought it was just incredible.  i was just in awe that it was OUR baby and was so overwhelmed with joy.  i like the good dreams!  ;-)

Best moment this week: eating dinner with at sarah and harry's.  i ate two huge plates of pasta and actually got full!  and then i had two of the most amazing crepes ever with nutella, powdered sugar, bananas (a little), strawberries, and whipped cream out of a can.  IT WAS HEAVENLY and i have been fantasizing about it ever since!!!

Movement: she was moving around a lot during church on sunday and this week i've been able to feel her quite a bit during the day.  only if i'm sitting down though.

Food cravings:  still sweets... and now i'll be craving crepes.  i'm scared of how fast i'm gaining weight but i LOVE loving food!  it was only less than two months ago that i despised food.  wow, it seems like forever ago!

Gender: GIRL!

What I miss: being able to bend over without looking like i'm eighty years old.

Theme:  the week of being so overwhelmingly tired.
Extra:  i have been so beyond tired this week.  friday i sat down to do some crocheting to help pass the time and keep myself awake and keep my hands busy (to keep myself from eating constantly) and i remember i was crocheting and then i stopped to stare out the window and then i was daydreaming a little and then i think i let myself close my eyes for a few seconds and then it was exactly one hour later and i didn't even know what hit me!  really, i'm terrified about how the rest of this pregnancy is going to go if i'm this tired at 22 weeks.  also equally terrified about how big my stomach is and how fast i'm gaining weight.  at the rate things are going there will be a little TOO much action between now and 40 weeks!

colorado

is where i will be tomorrow and sunday!!! chris and i are flying out tomorrow morning and flying back here sunday night so it'll be a quick trip but i'm still SOO excited!!!  i miss colorado so so much and i get to see chris's family which i'm so excited about and maybe even a friend or two even though my lovely carolyn won't be there which is the biggest let down of the century... just kidding friend, i love you anyways!

so sorry about the lack of blogging.  i've seen chris for a total of about 3 hours this week and most days haven't seen him at all and so we haven't been doing anything and life has been totally boring.

and WORDS CAN NOT DESCRIBE how tired i have been lately.

there's a reason chris calls me snoozy these days.

zero self discipline

i know i have zero self discipline when it comes to most things in life.  i've never been one to exercise, eat healthy, shower when i don't feel like it, wear grown up makeup, etc.  don't get me wrong, i can do hard things... but having the desire is absolutely essential.

so anyways, tonight i just spent the entire evening doing things NOT on my huge list of "things to do" and while i feel like a failure, i also don't know that i would do things differently if i had to do it again.

but really, on one count i did not fail.  chris and i ate dinner at a friend's house.  after two plates of food i was still hungry but embarrassed to ask for THIRDS on everything.  so naturally, 10 minutes later when we got home i'm thinking... i'm still hungry, what can i eat?  well first i decided to wait a little bit so see if it went away.  when it didn't i decided on something small, like cereal.  and even then i decided to hold out as long as i could.  although i distractedly ate a cookie (chris must have brought it home because i have no idea how else it would have gotten here!) dipped in milk of course, and it was worth every bite.  why finally exercise self control in this area of my life while i'm pregnant when i've never bothered to limit myself before? 

not entirely sure but i'm gonna go with it!