who needs a walker when you have a diaper box?

too bad the memory on my sd card ran out because she was doing this for a good ten minutes.  through the dining room, kitchen, great room and back again.  round and round and round.

and then she had a good fifty million scream fests until i finally decided it actually IS okay to put your kid to bed in the 6 o'clock hour.  she was sooo beyond tired.  it was kind of like putting a maimed animal out of its misery.  ;-)

ps- she cries with her tongue out.  isn't it cute?  and oh my goodness her eyes!  i think her eyes get brighter every day.

a picture

i love these kids.

ordinary things are fun

it was after 9 and mom and i were anxious to get a start on our day so i went up to check on baby.  turns out she was awake but not making a peep.  when she has a pacifier, she is perfectly content to hang out in her crib all morning long.  this kid knows how to lounge.

check out my beautiful mother.  she makes me so happy.

this is us (mom) heating up the water for homemade yogurt.  i'm learning how to be wonderfully domestic.

this is mom doing a sort of shirt-curtsy pose to show how happy she is in her blow up air mattress guest room.  a much better set up than either time she came to visit me in california last year.  (air mattress on floor of living room and then a few months later on a bed but sharing a room with a newborn that had to be woken and fed every four hours).  who needs nightstands or a dresser?  this is five star treatment here at hotel hillier.

we also went to the denver botanical gardens (pictures on mom's camera), ate a delicious roast beef bacon blue cheese panini, hit up good times for a turtle spoon bender and a handspun frozen custard chocolate malt, filled our cart at walmart, made garlic chicken and homemade mac and cheese for dinner, and watched dvr'd america's got talent.  it was a fun filled day.  just ask baby.  she would know.  she only slept for 7 minutes today.

goals for tomorrow: castle rock outlets, parade of homes, normal three hour nap, PICK UP EMMY!, and the help.  now i just need to find a babysitter...

my mom is here!!!

we stopped at costco on our way home from the airport.  it was fabulous.  i spent several hundred dollars on food storage... including those oats you see over moms shoulder (for granola).  and a number of containers of giant nutella. ;-)

i'm in heaven!!!

summer is fading too fast

and we are going to die when the pool closes.

my baby can walk

i've had a million people ask me when baby started walking.  "well, she doesn't yet.  she won't even stand on her own.  as soon as i let go, she just sits down."  if i had a dollar for every time i said that.  honestly, it's really well rehearsed now.  

today at the pool the lifeguard asked me how old she was and then how old she was when she started walking.  i gave her the same spiel.

we were out on a family walk this evening enjoying the thunderstorm pre-rain weather and stopped at jodi's for a bit.  she kept saying, "she is totally walking on her own.  she doesn't need you at all."  (well yeah, i knew that.  a few weeks ago i was having her walk from me to the sofa by herself.  it was like five steps.  but then she learned the drill and wouldn't put weight on her feet anymore because she knew i would just send her off walking and let go of her waist after two feet.  so i never bothered again.)

so tonight when we got home i said, "okay, enough of this.  our baby can walk, i know she can, let's see her do it!  go sit across the room and i'll send her over to you."  and then it happened.  barely wobbly, our baby walked perfectly the six feet from me to her wonderful father.  and then he sent her back to me.  we did this probably twenty times.  we didn't get very good video of it but here is a short clip so you get the idea.

my baby can walk.

regardless, i'm pretty sure she'll still be holding my finger until she leaves for college.  and i won't even be upset about it.  it's cute.

happy birthday liza!

i spent the day teaching my child to be more like you.

thanks for being such a wonderful big sister. you let me borrow baby clothes (we get LOTS of compliments on them!), share great recipes, motivate me to keep up this blog, and call me when you need a driving companion.

i love you lots and lots and lots.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

pictures of playing

we do a lot of things during play time.

we read.

we lose our balance and fall down.  and look like this.

we climb on things.

we make this face.  frequently.

it's a blast.

tiny town

kids or no kids, if you're ever in colorado, i highly reccommend it. it's in morrison. google it and go.

the best grilled cheese ever

this is my latest obsession. i've had a lot of these in the past ten days since my first. and by a lot i mean double digits. times two. try it. you will thank me. because it is heavenly.

muenster cheese, thin slices of soft pear, and strawberry preserves. and don't forget to butter the outside of your bread real nice. as i always say...

everything's better with butter.

we do fun things

sorry, no pictures yet.  i'm being lazy.  tonight we went to a rockies game.  my first one since we came back.  summer baseball games are fabulous.

and i really need to get pictures up from our family day date on saturday.  we went to tiny town and it was amazing.  i have a special thing for miniatures and this was a whole outdoor village of everything i could ever hope for and more.  i think i took over 200 pictures there.

i kid you not.

we're in it

we are definitely into the "into everything" stage. closets, cabinets, showers.

you name it, we're in it.

leading music: what not to do

i really love my calling.  go ahead and think i'm weird.  i know i do.  i one hundred million billion percent was sure i would hate it.  i thought i would have major anxiety every sunday for the rest of my life because i had to stand in front of the congregation and lead music.  well, i was anxious the first sunday, but also excited.  and ever since, it's just been a little nervous but in an excited sort of way.

every saturday morning, i meet with my friend jodi, the organist, and we go over the songs i've picked for sunday.  it calms my nerves and if there's anything weird about the song, strange time count, formatas, whatever, she can teach me the correct way to do it and then we can go over it until i know it and feel comfortable with it.  and then every sunday morning i practice all the songs a time or two on my own, normally while baby eats breakfast.  today all the songs i picked were really easy so i totally wasn't worried about a thing.

first, our ward believes in intermediate hymns.  every sunday there is either a musical number or intermediate hymn.  no one told me that we're supposed to stand for the intermediate hymns, so i just treat it like a normal one, with everyone sitting.  well today, jodi was about three measures into the intro when the bishop stood up, then his counselors, and then random members of the congregation.  it was confusing for everyone.  watching it from the stand it was the most awkward thing you've ever seen.  like a strange sort of flash mob with no moves other than standing up.  i actually started laughing and turned to jodi (still playing the intro) and whispered "oops!  was i supposed to have them stand?!?!"  you could tell she was trying not to laugh as she smiled and said "yeah, but it's okay, just lead the music"  so by the time we were two lines into the song, most of the congregation was standing and singing.  whatever.  i love my ward and feel totally comfortable in it.  so this embarrassing situation was not really embarrassing for me, just really funny.

christopher gave an excellent talk today.  it was on service.  he was the last speaker, the one directly after the intermediate hymn.  so while he walked up to the stand, i walked down to our seat, and we passed baby off in the process.  when he ended his talk, i handed baby to the family sitting directly behind us.  i probably should have arranged this with them in advance but they were fine with it anyways.  i walked up for the closing hymn, not really paying attention to anything.  the bishopric member conducting the meeting finished what he was saying and i got up for the closing hymn.  it was going great.  everything was perfect.  i was making sure to look around the congregation and not look at my hymn book too much.  then as we're finishing up the third verse i made a mental note that we only had one verse left.  at that very moment, i saw out of the corner of my eye, my bishop and one of his counselors close their hymn books.  i panicked.  "what?!  did they say we would only be singing three verses?!  i thought chris ended his talk on time."  i looked to the congregation and thought maybe i saw a person or two close their book too.  soo i thought "okay, i guess that's it.  i guess we're not singing the last verse."  so i cut everyone off for the third verse and then never lead in for the fourth.  sat i sat down jodi leaned over and said "did we forget the last verse?!"  ummm whoops.

so i talked to the bishop afterwards.  i repented.  just kidding, i apologized.  "bishop!  i'm so sorry!  i had no idea we were supposed to stand for the intermediate hymns!  i'll start having everyone stand from now on!"  "no problem, no problem, you're doing great."  "and bishop!  i'm so sorry to have cut off the closing song a verse early.  i saw you close your hymn book and followed your cue!"  (i realize now how ridiculous this sounds but it was the truth!)  he started laughing and explained that sometimes he and one of his counselors will sneak out one verse early so they can be in the foyers to greet people as they leave the chapel.  "OHHHHH!  good to know!"

whoops.

as i said, i probably should be embarrassed except that everytime i think about this i start laughing out loud.  if i've said it once, i've said it a million times, they called ME to be the ward music chair and chorister?!?!  what a joke.  on a more serious note though, i know these men are inspired, and for that reason, if i'm called to a calling, i'm going to say yes, regardless of how incompetent i am.  maybe i would be more self conscious had i applied for this or seeked it out (seeked?  is that a word?).  but i didn't.  i was called and i accepted and already i've spent many dedicated hours to magnify this calling as best i can.  (because goodness knows i did not magnify my last).  anyways, here are two very important lessons i learned today:

1. as the chorister, you lead the music and you lead the congregation.  everyone follows your lead.  if you screw up, everyone will follow you in that screw up.  the organist, the congregation, even the bishopric.  no one in the chapel is exempt from following your screw up.

2. always follow your church leaders.  unless you are the chorister and the subject in question is singing the fourth verse.  then it is expedient NOT to follow your church leaders.  in that particular situation, proceed as if you are almighty.  because you are.

a few highlights from today

this morning i found delicious cookies on my doorstep!  

my friend jodi has been telling me about this amazing family recipe for fondent covered cookies.  well, she made them this week and true to her word, shared a few with me.

 they're like candy covered cookies.  i was taking my last bite when she called to make sure i got them.  "yes, i'm eating one at this very moment.  actually i just finished it."  "well, don't eat the other one right now.  you'll feel sick.  they give me shakes from all the sugar."  mmm, that's my kind of cookie.  and i'm really not even a cookie person.

i also gave baby coconut for the first time.  i probably shouldn't because it's sweetened but i'm trying to think of fattening things to give my baby.  she only eats fruits, veggies, and whole grains so there's not a lot of fat to be had.  i've recently started giving her full fat cheese on a pretty regular basis and eggs.  well today i noticed that coconut flakes have 4 grams of fat in each serving.  and a serving is only 2 tablespoons!  so that's what baby had for snack.  don't worry, she had pineapple and mango too, which i discovered are extra delicious when rolled in coconut.  try it.

she is the cutest baby i've ever seen.  especially with a coconut flake goatee.  the reason i even had the coconut out though was for granola.  i made my mom's homemade granola recipe for the first time and it was surprisingly quick and easy.  after years of having her mail it to me, who knew i could whip it together so nicely on my own?!  although it did help that she mailed me pecans (holy crap those are expensive if you have to buy them!) from my grandparents' farm and almonds already crushed.  anyways, it was a huge success and delightfully delicious.

i had a huge bowl of granola and yogurt for dinner tonight instead of spaghetti leftovers.  it is a rare day that i choose cold fare over a hot meal but after the granola baked and left my house smelling AMAZING, there was no fighting it.  i had to go with granola.  

so those are the pictures from today that happened to make it to my computer tonight.  and once again i'm procrastinating sleep because my honey is out of town again.  i'm just going to bite the bullet now.  wish me luck.

customer service

this is how qwest made me feel today. one more strike and they're fired.

father daughter bonding

i'm not sure who's more excited about this bike seat. oh wait, yes i am. i can't remember the last time my honey got so anxious waiting for something in the mail. and when he came home and saw this box waiting for him, he opened it and put the bike seat on his bike right away. and then insisted on taking baby for a ride... right then. she would look more pumped had it not been past her bedtime. but she still enjoyed it. and good thing, because i'm sure she's going to be spending quite a bit of time in this little green seat.

at home zoo

and the caged beast escapes!

i told you she was getting more difficult

today

one year ago

followup, just for the record.

about ten minutes after i hit "publish" on that last post, baby woke up and she was NOT happy about it.  also, she had a less than stellar appetite for breakfast and lunch today and cried for five minutes when i put her down for nap this afternoon.

do you think she reads the blog?

long winded rants

my kid seriously confuses me.  i'm sure every mother says that but i just needed my turn to say it too.  baby has gotten consistently harder since she was born.  her first four weeks of life were by far the easiest for me.  the next four were also insanely easy and even the next four.  well, the past four weeks have been somewhat difficult, as were the four before that and the four before that.

i can't even attempt to fully chronicle how things have been in terms of eating, mood, sleeping, playing over the past two months but if you read baby's one year post and how scattered and disorganized it was, it should give you a small idea.  let's start with eating.  baby has been teething like crazy lately and so her eating has been all over the place.  sometimes she's just in too much pain to eat and sometimes she eats like a horse, like all of the refrigerated food is soothing her aching gums.  lately it's been more of the later.  this kid eats a ton.  why on earth is she so skinny?!?!  about a week ago she was eating in her chair for a full hour.  she had strawberries, spinach, half a roma tomato (tomatoes are definitely her favorite food by the way), a big bowl of oatmeal, some other stuff i can't remember, and then an entire peach.  talk about a bottomless pit.  within the past two days she's eaten three good sized sweet potatoes... in addition to all of the other stuff i've been feeding her.  anyways, there's no point to this paragraph other than to say that my kid eats more than i do and i can't get her to gain weight.  i'm going to start feeding her straight lard one of these days.

also, for the past fooooorrrreeeevvvvveeeeerrrrr baby has, for the most part, been waking up once a night to nurse.  she would occasionally go four of five days sleeping all the way through the night but then teething or traveling would happen and things would get screwed up again.  last friday i was on the phone with my dear friend carolyn who i go to for most of my parenting advice.  we have very similar parenting styles and she has a kid 9 months older than baby so everything is still fresh on her mind when i call her from the store about what baby spoons to buy (long and skinny so they fit in baby jars) or what kind of toothpaste to buy (flouride free because your baby will swallow it all).  we both let our kids play with golf balls and eat food they find on the floor.  she also recently taught me how to buy stuff for a crock pot roast meal which turned out beautifully.  anyways, all of this is to say that i trust her parenting advice a lot.

two weeks ago i started weaning baby.  i don't want to talk about it.  in our little family of three, one of us is really happy about the weaning process and two of us are definitely not.  take your guesses.  maybe when i'm more emotionally stable, i can explain more.  until then, send your condolences my way and give me your virtual e-shoulder to cry on.  well, baby was not taking the weaning well and immediately got very clingy, whiney, anxious, and everything else bad during the day.  after two days of that it lessened slightly and i thought it would keep getting better.  it did not.

she started waking up TWO times during the night to nurse and then not wanting to go to sleep without a pacifier as well if she couldn't fall asleep nursing.  soo many things wrong with that situation.  call me crazy but i've always loved getting up with baby during the night to nurse her.  in fact, chris has never gotten up with baby during the night.  ever.  i haven't ever let him.  call me selfish but i want that baby all to myself.  and after not seeing her for a few hours, i'm definitely ready for some snuggles.  anyways, that's once.  once is good.  twice is not good.  twice is bad.  especially when it's a baby who's wanting a binky and not going peacefully into the night.  so enter dear friend carolyn.  she counseled with me and we came to the conclusion that i should try letting my baby cry it out during the night.  i'd never done that before!  and the thought was terrifying to me.  but that night i did it.

she woke up and cried for ten minutes and stopped.  "that was easy" i thought.  six minutes later, the crying started again.  it wasn't screaming, just a sad cry.  and it went on and off for over an hour.  it would get muffled at times and stop at times and then just be low at times and i'm not sure of it all because i managed to doze a little during that time too.  morning time came and my baby still loved me.  the next night she woke up around midnight before we even went to bed.  i had christopher get her so she wouldn't see me and want to nurse for comfort.  he rocked her forever and put her in her crib.  she cried for ten minutes and was out.  that was saturday night.  and ever since then, she's been sleeping the full 12 hours with no interruption.  is this going to end in a day or two like all of the other times or was that little bit of crying it out enough to do the trick?

i feel like she has the the power to just make a decision on what she wants to do.  like crying in her crib.  her whole life (all one year of it), she's gone through days or weeks of no crying before naps/bed and days and weeks of needing to cry for five, ten, fifteen minutes before dozing off.  for the past several weeks at least it's been mostly crying before bed and naps.  especially the last two with this whole weaning thing.  ever since i started weaning her, she'll cry from the minute we go in her room.  i can't even read a story with her and it makes prayers a little irreverent.  but then last night i took her in, same as before.  she started to fuss and i sat down with her to nurse her (i still do occasionally) and she nursed for a few minutes and then was fine.  i put my shirt down and instead of throwing a fit, she snuggled against me.  then we read a book together... peacefully.  she turned the pages and tried to read too.  i held her while we said a long prayer together and i held her again.  i wanted to cry.  who knew i'd missed a happy bedtime routine so much?!?!  then i put her in her crib, waved night night and walked out.  and i didn't hear a peep until 8:30 this morning.  nap time today was also happy.  story time and cuddles and waving goodbye.  i couldn't believe it.  and then tonight as well.  seriously?!?!   i mean really, it's like she finally decided not to have a huge screaming fit before bed and naps and decided to be sweet instead.  what else could have caused the night and day change like that with seriously no warning at all.

i can't figure this kid out.  i'm not sure that i want to either.  i just hope she continues to get happier.  we've had some rough times lately.

the most terrifying experience of my life

let me tell you about what happened on monday.  i wasn't going to post this but when i told my mother the story she told me it needed to be recorded and then my shameless brother walter heard it through the grapevine and made mention of it on my facebook wall so i figured all was lost anyways.  i guess i really don't care who knows, as long as it's not my honey.  but he doesn't read this, so no worries there.

monday morning, baby and i went to our neighborhood pool with new friend kirstyn and her daughter.  when we got home, i put baby on the floor to play and then went to roll the pack n play over to block off the stairs.  hiding right underneath it was the most gigantic spider i have ever seen outside of a zoo!  i about died!  i had a major panic attack.  i'm actually getting the sweats right now just thinking about it.  i don't like bugs or spiders or snakes of any sort under any condition but spiders are the worst and having something surprise me in my own home like that is more than i can bear.  i felt violated and terrified.

if my honey was home i would have just had him dispose of it, as was clearly discussed in our prenuptial agreement.  you think i'm kidding?  i am not.  nothing is written but it was a verbal agreement and i remember it vividly as if it was last night.  i told my dear christopher that if we were going to be married (this conversation actually took place before we were engaged... because some things you just need to agree upon before furthering your relationship), one of the things i required of my future husband was that he take care of any bug, insect, spider, creature, dead or alive, and dispose of it properly (that means, flushing it down the toilet.  it can not remain within the walls of our home) without any hesitation or complaining.  for the past five years he has done a phenomenal job in this regard and it has never been a real problem... until this past year.  since i'm home during the day when he's gone, i've had to do some solo pest control out of sheer necessity and my duty as a mother to protect my young from [eating] these leggy pests.

well, i knew i couldn't take care of it myself but i did entertain the idea for a bit.  there was no way the situation would wait until my hero of a husband got home from work.  i brainstormed.  i called my honey at work and explained the problem.  i wish i could have recorded that phone call.  he was nice although audibly annoyed that i called him at work to tell him i found a spider.  honestly, i'm not sure what i was expecting.  it's not like he could kill it through the phone.  and he wasn't going to come home on his lunch break to take care of it for me.  he told me to put a trash can over it.  i told him it had moved against the wall.  he told me bye.  i called kirstyn.  as if she would want to reload her kid in a carseat to drive back to my house to kill a spider.  i didn't care.  that's what friends are for.  but she didn't even answer.  i was paralyzed with fear.  so i went to the garage and put on his pair of tennis shoes.  i walked back in the kitchen and looked more than twenty feet away to wear the spider was still hanging out.  i went back to the garage and got a trashcan.  i took it back to the spot twenty feet away.  there was just no way.  i went back to the garage and took the shoes off.

i put on my flip flops and marched to my next door neighbor's house, knocked on the door, and prayed someone would be home and that they would have no fear of spiders.  this family is a wonderful family that is in our ward.  the husband used to be bishop but now he's in the stake presidency.  he travels a lot for work and is rarely home.  the wife doesn't seem like the spider loving type and neither do their two daughters.  no one was answering.  i prayed for a miracle and started to walk away.

then it happened!  the husband answered the door!  i have never been so relieved in my life!!!  i told him i had two favors.  "#1, i need you to come kill a spider for me" [he laughs] "you can laugh all you want, i don't care, but i neeeed you to kill that spider." [he says okay and we start to walk over to my house] "and #2, you have to promise not to tell chris.  he would be so ashamed and embarassed."  so we walked over,  the spider had moved a bit but wasn't hard to find.  he admitted that he was surprised it was a very good sized spider and asked for a paper towel.  i gave him a whole role.  he went over and cleaned it up like it was a smudge on a mirror.  i thanked him with all my heart and told him i required that spiders be flushed.  but we both decided it would not be wise to flush such a giant wad of paper towels.

so being the gentleman that he is, he carried that wad of paper towels, complete with dead spider and all, back to his house, while he asked me how i developed such a terrible fear of spiders.  good question because i used to play with them when i was in elementary school and by the time i was in fifth grade, i couldn't even briefly look at a picture of ants, much less a spider or a snake or roach.  yuck roaches.  so throughout the whole experienced i thanked him as if he had just risked his life to save my first born from a burning building.  i honestly think this was more impressive because really, i can deal with flames.  i wish i could repay him.  i told him i'm going to do his yard work and weeding and that i'm excessively grateful, but that there's a good chance this won't be the last time i call for a favor of this nature.

i have since asked serveral people if i can call them should i ever experience a similar situation.  i also went to walmart last night and bought the biggest size of spider spray you've ever seen.  it comes with a money back guarantee and says it's supposed to work for 9 months.  i had asked my dear honey if we could call the exterminator and he said no.  so this is the best i've got.  because it's been a few days and i'm still jumpy and cautious and breaking out in sweats every time i see a chocolate chip on the floor.  i've also decided i need to get pregnant ASAP with a boy so that i can raise him to do this sort of stuff for me.  and then i will home school him and keep him by my side until he goes to college.  and by that point we'll be so filthy rich i'll have a whole staff of help including chefs and maids and chauffeurs and bug killers that will continually monitor my home and make sure anything with less than two legs or more than four is not allowed.  i thought about just moving to an apartment in the city but that plan was less appealing for me.  i'll let you know how things go with that.

needless to say, it's been a little bit tense around here.

hello?

that's all i've been hearing all day long.  from my sweet little girl who endlessly grabs for my phone, presses the buttons and holds it over her shoulder eagerly waiting for a response.  it. is. adorable.

speaking of adorable.  she is so adorable that every single time we go out in public, i have people stop to tell me how gorgeous she is.  no kidding, multiple people every time we go out shopping.  today i had six or seven.  two at goodwill and four or five at walmart.  i'm used to it so it doesn't bother me.  except when people touch my baby.  ummm keep your hands to yourself!  one woman at goodwill put both of her hands on baby's cheeks.  hands on face!  i about died and i think she saw it in my eyes.  anyways.  now i'm a little more guarded.

what do i need to do to prevent this?  give off strange body language?  shower even more rarely than i already do?  suggestions welcome.