5 weeks

How far along:  5 weeks  (10.2.14)

Total weight gain/loss: -1.5 lbs - my official starting weight this pregnancy is 115

Maternity clothes:  yes... but only because i wear maternity clothes as part of my regular wardrobe.  i know it's strange, but yes, i regularly shop the maternity section for clothes to wear when i'm not pregnant.

Sleep:  not awesome but not terrible.  i've had some vivid dreams.  and some of those times when i know i'm sleeping but it feels like i'm awake.  i call this "airplane sleep" because it's about the same feeling and quality that i get when i try to sleep on a plane.  i've also had trouble sleeping if i wake up early in the morning.  it's like christmas day and i'm just anxious and excited and can't go back to sleep.

Best moment this week:  finding out!  and enjoying saturday (when i got the ghost line and then spent the day with abigail at day out with thomas) when i knew and was excited but it was my secret alone.  and telling my honey... he's so excited!

Movement:  it's a long way off.  

Food cravings:  so far, it's hit or miss with food.  at day out with thomas, i looooved the brat and was craving alllll of the carnival food but kept getting full easily.  sunday morning, nothing sounded good, but i had a banana for breakfast and did okay with minimal food during the day.  we went to an open house and ate there, but the rest of the night i felt pretty nauseous in my stomach and my throat.  any time i burped, i was scared i would throw up a little in my mouth.  gross, i know. the last couple days, i just haven't wanted to eat at all... which isn't terribly different from my norm.  but i'm trying to eat at least two meals a day so i can avoid getting a migraine and throwing myself into a downward spiral of doom.   

Symptoms: acne (although it's been improving), nausea, lightheadedness, constant lower backache (which is at its worst when i am sitting or laying down)

Gender:  my honey and i talked about this and neither of us have a preference.  but after i got a positive test, i went to my bed to kneel down and pray and couldn't stop praying as if this baby was a little girl.  with brady, i was positive of the gender, but this time, not so much.  but my symptoms so far seem to be mostly mirroring how they were with my pregnancy with abigail.

What I miss:  being able to focus on anything else.  ; )  pregnancy consumes my mind and it's all i want to think about.  not awesome though, because it makes time pass sooooo slowly.  and i've kind of got other things i need to focus on during the day.  but it is exciting.  every second of the day, i'm excited.  it's like it's constantly christmas eve.  

Milestones:  i got a positive pregnancy test!
Theme: the week of obsessing about pregnancy, pregnancy test lines, and miscarriage
What's different this time around:  with abigail, i felt sick instantly at 4 weeks, 3 days.  with brady, i felt 100% fine until 6 weeks.  this is just sort of in between.

Extra:  i emailed my doctor, dr. walker, tuesday afternoon and admitted that i'm freaking out about miscarriage.  since it's a new doctor for me, i briefly filled her in on my pregnancy history, infertility history, and miscarriage history.  and then i told her i haven't had any red flags other than paranoia.  bless her heart, she responded within a few hours and said she'd put in the lab orders for me for a beta check for wednesday and friday and asked if that would help at all to ease my anxiety.  i think i almost wept tears of joy at her compassion for my paranoia.  crossing my fingers the numbers come back high and doubling!