9 weeks

How far along:  9 weeks  (10.30.14)

Total weight gain/loss: -2 lbs

Maternity clothes:  yes... but only because i wear maternity clothes as part of my regular wardrobe. 

Sleep:  not super consistent one way or the other.  but i have been continuing to have some pretty crazy dreams.  monday night i didnt take my unisom because i was so sick and close to throwing up.  bad move because i slept so horribly that night and apparently i was thrashing so much in my sleep that honey was wide awake by 2:30 (and consequently gave up trying to sleep and decided to start his day) and really it was just bad news.  but as long as i take it, i pretty much fall asleep within 10 minutes and sleep all the way through the morning.  to bad it does nothing for my crazy dreams though!

Best moment this week:  wednesday afternoon.  i ate some tomatoes from jodis garden and homemade bread that andrea gave me and my belly actually felt great!  my headache and hunger were dull and my nausea was extremely limited and it's the most normal i've felt in weeks! 

Movement:  negative.  but i'm sure that little kid is just moving and shaking like crazy.

Food cravings:  there have been times this week that i've enjoyed eating!  words can not express how this lifts my spirits! things i enjoyed eating this week and wished i had more of: red white and blue dippin dots and those nasty synthetic cheese nachos (both at the avs game tuesday night), tomatoes from jodi's garden (wednesday morning/afternoon), milk (it's weird to me that it's just another thing i have to force myself to consume... but there have been a few times that it's really hit the spot for me).  friday night we went to texas roadhouse and i enjoyed rolls and honey butter, my steak (but only the rarest parts), and the fried pickles.  sunday night and monday night were especially bad for me (nights are my hardest time) and tuesday morning i finally threw up (maybe because i didn't take my unisom/b6 the night before?) which settled my stomach for a time although the actual throwing up sucked.  not like anyone loves throwing up, but i'm not one of those people that's petrified of it.  it's not a big deal to me.  but tuesday morning really sucked because i hadn't had anything to eat or drink for over 13 hours and my stomach was completely empty, so it was pretty much just acid.  and it lasted for seriously four or five minutes because my stomach kept going at it since not much was coming out.  abigail was sweet about it though because, while it was happening, she went to her room and brought down a blanket for me and laid it by my feet to help me feel better.  my goal for this week is to email my doctor and maybe try zofran or something else.  the phenergan does absolutely nothing for me and while the unisom/b6 helps, i still spend most of my days in bed and many of my nights dry heaving.

Symptoms: nausea, vomiting, headaches, fatigue, crazy dreams...

Gender:  my guess is still solid that it's a girl.  i'm going to be 100% thrown if it's not.  christopher and i started talking about names.  but only girl names.  i just feel like the possibility of this being a boy is slim enough that we can think about boy names after 20 weeks, it it comes to that.  in the mean time, i'm going to be trying to convince honey to love the same girl names i do.  ; )

What I miss:  not ever feeling great.  and not feeling like a failure of a wife and mother.  

Milestones:  i'm pretty sure this is when an embryo turns into a fetus... so that's a pretty big accomplishment for us. 
Theme: the week of getting a belly.  it popped. 
What's different this time around:  with abigail, i always hated eating, and while i was nauseas and threw up about once or twice a week, the worst part was that i always had a horrific migraine and was STARVING.  this time, i feel like my headache and hunger isn't as bad because i'm able to find things that i can eat, even if small amounts make me feel terribly nauseas.  so, i'm really thankful it's not as bad...or i guess it's just bad in a different way.  also, still weird that my morning sickness gets progressively worse throughout the day.

Extra:  i definitely got a belly this week!  it happened fast... like within just a day or two.  i was really thin when i got pregnant this time.  my hip bones stuck out farther than my concaved stomach.  and not just when i was laying down, i mean even when i was just standing.  when i went in for my ultrasound at 6.5 weeks and laid on my back, my ribs and hip bones were jutting out so bad, the doctor even seemed a little thrown by it and commented on it.  so it was really obvious to me when all of the sudden, it hurt to lay on my stomach.  and my stomach became clearly rounded and sticks out farther than my hip bones when i'm standing... and especially if i'm sitting/reclining in bed.  at our ward trunk or treat on saturday, i was wearing my yellow and tan striped ann taylor shirt and when i came home and saw myself in the mirror, i about died because i looked like i had a spare tire around my middle.  holy crap, i hope no one was paying attention to that because it was noticeably obvious.  i looked like i'd gained at least 7-10 lbs... all in my mid section.  if anyone has been keeping an eye on my belly for signs that i'm pregnant... saturday would be an obvious confirmation for them.  sooo, now i'm sad that i haven't taken any belly pictures.  i just assumed i'd start at 12 or 13 weeks but now i've already missed the drastic changes that happened this past week.  when i showered the other day, i seriously just stared at my belly the whole time.  i am so so so thrown how it grew so fast!  pregnancy is pretty amazing like that.  i should have known it was coming though because i was showing early (like 10 weeks) with abigail and i was almost 20 lbs heavier with her at this point.  this time, it's my third, and i had no where to hide any bump.  good thing it's kind of cold here and i can hide things just fine in a hoodie.  i've wanted to tell people about this pregnancy since early on, and for some reason, i just haven't.  only a small handful of people know.  i don't know what's holding me back.  i guess i just hate the initial "i'm pregnant" part of it.  can i send out a blast email?  or just post something on my blog?  my biggest reluctance is for anyone right now trying to get pregnant... when that's me, it's insanely difficult to hear anyone announce their pregnancy.  i don't want to be that person.  

once again, i've spent the majority of each day laying in bed.  it's not like i'm in such severe nausea and stomach pain that i can't even stand up, but having a bad headache and severe hunger, and the weakness and fatigue resulting from that, and the nausea and uneasiness that come from eating... i rarely have a good enough reason to stand up.  ; )  i take abigail to preschool each tuesday and thursday, and i get groceries every 10 days or so, and i go to church on sunday.... but other than that, i pretty much just lay in bed.  and eat my food in bed.  and i sleep a ton.  i take a full unisom (sleep pill) and about 50 mg of vitamin b6 each night and i think it helps take the edge off my nausea.  but the unisom really does knock me out... and i love it.  i have crazy dreams when i sleep, and it's gotten really uncomfortable for me to roll over or lay on my stomach, but for the most part, sleep is my escape from feeling crappy all the time.  i've been a night owl my whole life, but now i hate nights because my nausea gets noticeably worse starting around 4 or 5 o'clock and leads to dry heaving between 7 and 9.  so now, i put the kids to bed anytime after 7 and then crawl into my bed immediately after.  this week, honey was gone in south dakota for two nights.  the second night, i had the kids in bed by 7:45, and i was in bed with the lights out by 7:55.  and i was asleep sometime in the 8 o'clock hour.  and... get this... i didn't fully wake up til 10:45 the next morning and didn't get out of bed til noon.  i frequently sleep for 10-12 hours... or more.  now i understand the appeal of sleeping pills!

i had an afternoon this week that i didn't feel too bad and i was able to get so much done!  i did three loads of laundry and actually folded them and put everything away!  keeping up with house responsibilities isn't something totally huge, but it does take small effort, consistently throughout the day/week and if you can't do that... basically everything falls apart.  all day, every day, i keep thinking about that story of the wife that stays in bed and tells her husband "well today, i didn't do it" because that's totally my life.  hoping that it won't be long before i wake up on a saturday and tell christopher we should take the kids on an adventure instead of just wanting to lay in bed all day and hoping that bedtime comes soon.  i suck.