oh my gosh I am dying. DYING. time is going by so so so fast. it's Wednesday already! last Wednesday, I took my last half pill of Zoloft, spent much of the day crying off and on in my bed, and texting Emmy that I hope this baby comes soon because I'm depressed and I just want to feel happy again. and then that night, I went into labor. how has it already been a week?! I don't necessarily want to freeze time because I know so many good things are to come, but what I would give to be able to relive the last six days since my precious babe was born. how did I get to be so blessed?!
Wednesday- I was sad. I spent most all of the day in bed. I felt my body start to have contractions around 7pm, figured out I was in labor around midnight, went to the hospital a little before 2am, and had a baby at 3:53am.
thursday- the whole day was spent in the hospital, cuddling my baby, eating tons of hospital room service food, and texting family and friends about the great news. I had sent Chris home around 8am that morning to relieve the babysitter and he ended up bringing the kids back that afternoon to meet Andrew. he was in the nursery getting a bath at the time, so the kids ate tons and tons of food from the nourishment rooms and had fun hanging out with Andrew when he got done under the warmer. Chris took them home, I had a pretty sleepless night because of the night nurse. the day nurse was really great and hands off, but the night nurse would come in like every thirty minutes just to see if my kid had had another diaper change or feeding or to tell me that she would plan to check on me again at whatever time (that was less than an hour away) and honestly, it was just rough. also, Andrew kept spitting up tons of amniotic fluid (apparently that's the result of a fast delivery) and so that kept me awake as well because I kept hearing him cough that up and, while he wasn't bothered, it sounded terrible and would startle me awake every time.
friday- we let the nurses at the desk know (on at least ten different occasions) that we would like to be at the top of the list for discharge. Chris took the kids to my friend Sara's house so Ella could watch them while he came to the hospital and helped with all the paperwork, instructions, and gathering of stuff for discharge. I really didn't care about having him in the hospital for any of recovery because I felt totally fine and didn't need any help, but I really, really wanted him there for the discharge process. I was with Andrew for the circumcision, hearing test, pediatrician checkup, etc. and everything just went really smoothly and efficiently. we were out of there and home by noon... even with picking the kids up from Sara's and waiting for her to get home (she'd been out running errands and I wanted her to be able to peek at Andrew). getting home, I had my neighbor, Stephanie, run over to take a family picture for us since I realized we never got one in the hospital as we have the previous times. she was on her driveway with her friend and some of our other neighbors (community garage sale day) and they all came over to see Andrew. it was a fun little homecoming. the rest of the day was spent just low key inside with my babe, feeding him and watching him sleep. and monitoring all the spit up.
Saturday- I took Abigail to a playdate at Kaitlyn's house and picked her up at noon. I stayed and talked to her mom for at least 30 minutes before I could finally pry Abigail away. I'm glad she could get in that playtime so she doesn't feel held back by this baby. while Abigail was at Kaitlyn's, Chris took Brady and Elizabeth on a walk around the neighborhood (still community garage sale) and stopped to chat with all of our friends that were out. Brady loved telling me about it when he got home. Elizabeth went down for a nap. Chris took all the kids to the pool later that evening. I was going to take Andrew on a walk up there just to watch the kids swim for a bit but I got super tired (holy cow, nursing kept instantly putting me to sleep!) and took a little nap instead. that night, honey had church visit he had to do so the kids gathered on my bed and Abigail read aliens in underpants to Andrew and we all hung out for an hour or so until Chris returned and we put kids to bed.
sunday- Father's Day! I woke up and fed Andrew and then he hung out on his boppy while I made Chris French toast for breakfast. I made some for the kids and myself as well, but we didn't eat together because Chris had to get ready for church. I helped the kids get showered and ready for church and Chris took Abigail and Brady went he went for 10:15 meetings. I got in the shower at 10 (even though Elizabeth was awake) and hurried to shower and dress while Elizabeth semi-patiently waited for me to get her out of her crib. I had her eat while I got ready, and then at 11, I put Andrew in his carseat and went to church. Chris was not thrilled that I wanted to go to church and had tried to talk me out of it on Friday night, Saturday night, and Sunday morning, but I just birthed his baby and he lets me do what I want anyway. I had promised him I would come just before the sacrament and leave before the closing prayer. we got there at 11:15 and I could feel my face getting hot and red as a I walked in. I know it's not traditional to show up to church with a three day old baby and while I know my friends at church love me and wouldn't judge in a harsh way, I do feel like all eyes were on me like "what on earth is she doing?!" but I kept my eyes down to not look around and it was fine, although awkward. most awkward is that Chris was conducting sacrament meeting and apparently he had JUST announced our baby's birth like seconds before I walked in. I didn't hear any of it (which is kind of sad because how cool that he got to announce the birth of his own son, on fathers day!), and that ended up being a huge blessing on the timing because I think I would have chickened out about walking into the chapel right then if I'd heard it and known the timing was such.... if that makes any sense. anyway, sacrament was awesome. three youth speakers, my friend Mary, and Heidi (she was one of my miamaids when I was in young women's) giving her farewell talk because she's leaving on her mission soon. that was the real reason I wanted to go. she is one of a kind, crazy phenomenal. she has the quietest voice but when she speaks, it is so so powerful and captivating. I knew I didn't want to miss it, but holy cow it was even better than I'd anticipated. she spoke about Heavenly Father (that was the Father's Day theme) and it was incredible. this is when I wish I could dvr church sometimes! true to my word, I picked up Andrew and walked out of sacrament meeting after the second verse of the closing hymn and no one touched him or even got a glimpse of him. I didn't touch him or anything inside of his carseat until after I'd washed my hands at home. success. and thanks to em for the nursing cover that doubles as a perfect carseat cover. that made all the difference! getting home, I relaxed for a bit (seriously, I'd felt so awkward bringing my baby to church that I almost had to kind of unwind after getting home), fed Andrew, made the kids lunch (Chris just dropped them off and had to go back to the church to do the count), and got lasagna in the crock pot for later. when we ate dinner that night (I served it with peas and garlic bread because each of those only took four minutes and I could do them both at the same time), I was feeling so accomplished about my life. especially considering how worthless I was while pregnant when just getting out of bed was so difficult. after dinner, we all straightened up a bit before I headed out. mom's flight was delayed so I left to get her at 9 and even the drive there was so quiet and peaceful and happy and I just wanted to freeze that moment in time for a bit. my brain feels so, so happy. like I'm back in my regular body again and not living in someone else's fog. I ended up arriving at just the right moment to get mom... we always seem to get super lucky with matching up the times just right and, as always, I felt just giddy that she'd finally arrived after counting down for so long!
monday- i woke up and took care of Andrew while mom woke up and took care of Abigail and Brady and we made sure to get Elizabeth out of bed by 9 for her speech therapy. the kaiser home visit lady came right at 9:15 and ms. stacey came right after. I had the kaiser lady come to my bedroom for the visit (because that's where I've set up shop with Andrew this time... last time I set up shop with Elizabeth in the guest room) and the first thing she said when she came in was "I pulled up and walked in your house and saw your kids and I'm having deja vu! I think I was here with your last child!" I can't recognize faces so I really couldn't confirm this, but I remembered the personality of the lady last time and so within five minutes I knew it was the same lady. she was SOOO complimentary! complimentary of Andrew and his coloring and his weight gain and his temperament and of how I'd dressed him (or not dressed him... he was naked because I'd just changed his diaper and clothes but hadn't gotten around to putting anything on him) and of every single other thing you could possibly imagine. I'm big on words of affirmation so I love when people are complimentary... that always means a lot for me. they either mean what they're saying, or they're lying to me because they're trying to make me feel nice. ; ) ha. so, the appointment went really well. birth weight was 7lbs 7ozs, discharge weight was 7lbs, and his current weight was 7lbs 2.5ounces. his jaundice score was 10 (anything below 20 was great). it was also a great appointment because I felt great and had no concerns about myself or Andrew. those are always easy when you fly through all the questions and everything. she asked if I needed the postpartum depression followup call sometime and I loved that I could answer no. I'm so glad that is not a concern for me and seems to be completely out of my system now. meanwhile, stacey was playing with Elizabeth, Abigail, and Brady out in the great room so I joined them once the kaiser lady left. Elizabeth is so obsessed with Andrew. she came in my room and wouldn't leave without Andrew, so I brought Andrew out and stacey incorporated him into the speech therapy. the kids played a little bit and then had quiet time. honey came home during quiet time and then took the kids to the pool after. he fell asleep reading his book on Abigail's bed relatively early and Abigail fell asleep soon after. Brady kept getting out of his bed saying he was bored and wanted me to come stay with him. at 10pm, I sat down on Abigail's sofa with him and he was asleep within minutes. but of course I just stayed for an hour enjoying the quiet. quiet except for honey's phone occasionally beeping with texts/emails. normally I turn it to silent because I hate listening to his phone during the night. but this time I didn't because I knew he'd be sleeping upstairs and I wouldn't even hear his phone during the night so who cares. at midnight, I was in the bathroom getting ready when honey groggily came downstairs and started brushing his teeth. I thought this was weird because he'd already taken out his contacts earlier and had his glasses on but figured maybe he'd just skipped brushing his teeth earlier. but then he put on some chino shorts and I had to ask where he was going. Nate was in the ER (he's in town visiting) and Chris's dad had called to have Chris be with him and offer him a blessing. Chris was all "see you in a bit" but actually didn't get home till after 6:30am and texted at 6:45am that he was going to try to get a bit of sleep in the playroom.
Tuesday- so when I woke up and saw that, I texted mom to have her bring kids downstairs quietly as soon as they woke up (she'd heard the garage at 6:30 and thought Chris was leaving for work... not knowing he was just getting home from the ER). the kids watched paw patrol and we didn't get Elizabeth out of bed till after 10:30. for several weeks, she was waking regularly at 8:15 so I'm kind of out of the habit of looking at the clock and making sure she's up by 9:30. it was fine though. the kids ate and played and did quiet time after lunch. honey ended up staying home all day (with a t-shirt, basketball shorts, and glasses.... it REALLY threw our kids off. ha!) and I loved having him around. after quiet time, he sprayed spider spray around the house for us (I can't believe we made it till this late in the summer without having him do that AND without having had a scary spider encounter yet) and then took Abigail and Brady to the pool. mom and I were going to work in the basement but kept getting interrupted with things. at 5, noodles and co. dropped off a meal to us that was ordered by one of honey's clients (they had sent an email all "we thought this might be better than sending flowers" and I was thrilled at their logical thinking) and I was all "dangit, I should have planned this better since honey and the kids just left for the pool!" but then I got this genius idea to take it all to the pool (it came in throw away containers and had plenty of disposable plates, napkins, utensils, etc.) for a little picnic. Chris was naturally hesitant about me bringing Andrew to the pool but I promised he would stay in his carseat the whole time and it would be fine. so, we loaded up the stroller with all our food and stuff and walked up to the pool. it was hot and perfect for swimming but very pleasant sitting at our table in the shade. we had Mac and cheese and a green salad. they sent a dessert tray with oversized snickerdoodles and chocolate chip cookies and Rice Krispie treats but I left it at home for us to enjoy when we got back. so we hung out at the pool from 5:30-7:30 or so and had a pleasant walk home (because Chris took Abigail and Brady in his car and we all know that taking those two crazies out of the equation really quiets things down around these parts). we fed the kids again because, as Abigail said, "but we didn't eat dinner yet! that was just a snack!" and Chris took them up for bed. meanwhile, mom and I watched the end of the rockies game and it was awesome. Chris even came down after a big play and had to rewind and watch it himself. it was great. mom fed Andrew a bottle on the sofa (he ate four ounces!) and then went to bed while I went up to stay with Brady for a bit. I pumped a bottle before bed (almost 7 ounces thank goodness... so at least I'm staying ahead of the game with this hungry little hippo) and then got good sleep during the night. this kid is seriously a dream. when he wakes during the night, it only takes 20 minutes to feed him on one side, burp him, and put him back. I don't unswaddle him or change his diaper or need to coax him back to sleep so it goes really fast and I can do it without fully waking myself up. I think his longest sleep stretch in the last couple of nights has been five hours, but Tuesday night he slept for two 3.5 hour stretches and that was great too. hallelujah thats he's a repeat Abigail and not a repeat Brady! I think my main complaint with this kid is that he falls asleep within minutes of nursing, fills up before he's even finished one side, and takes a little while to burp sometimes. but that should all resolve with time and age. in the mean time, we do cluster feedings on one side while he takes power naps as I attempt to burp him. and really, he does nurse at least some on both sides a good chunk of the time. he's more than I could have hoped for.
Wednesday- I can't believe that today is my due date! it didn't strike me until I was at my optometrist appointment this morning and I had to sign and date something. of course the optometrist charged me way more than it was supposed to be and Chris wasn't happy about it so he was already on the phone with them working it out before I had even gotten home. he's my hero. also, ugh about all the dishonest medical offices out there that always charge you more than what they should... can we not all just be friends here?! when I got home, I got a terrible headache. mom took care of the kids and watched them play outside, got them lunch, put them down for naps/quiet time... I sat in my bed with Andrew forever. mostly typing out this journaling record of my first week with him. honey came and worked from home for the afternoon. I took a shower and somehow all of our kids were done with quiet time by 2:15. Brady had taken a short nap, Elizabeth had pooped and probably not ever fallen asleep, and Abigail heard the gig was up and decided to join the "quiet time is over" party. ha. Chris took the kids to the playground (to meet up with their cousins and uncle Nate who was in town visiting) at 5, and then shortly after, mom and I made our plan for the evening. I fed Andrew (or at least made my very best attempt on the sleepy guy) and we took off at 6:15. we stopped by CVS for mom to buy cheap diapers, hit up sprouts, made our way through the chickfila drive through for some calendar card ice cream, and then conquered Costco from 7:15 to 8. Brian dropped Nate off with us at 8:10 and we took him to the airport. dropped him off in the west terminal and looped around to pick dad up in the east terminal. our plan for timing on everything was working out to the minute and ultimately, we even picked dad up at 9pm sharp! I don't think I've ever had timing work out so perfectly before! sooooo happy to see dad and have him in town! I always feel bad that he misses so much work to come out and spend time with me, but I didn't even compel him to come this time and I feel extra special that he decided all on his own to come out to see Andrew and help with a few house projects. I couldn't ask for a better dad. I stayed up til a little after midnight I think, constantly thinking, I can't believe exactly a week ago I was also in this kitchen, texting Lisa, trying to figure out if I was truly in labor. and when I woke up during the night to feed Andrew, I looked at the clock at 3:17 and was all "I was in such terrible pain, in the height of transition, during my labor this time a week ago. that feels like it's been yesterday and forever ago." I feel like I've known Andrew forever and already can't imagine our family without him. and then I rolled over and went back to sleep.
it's been a wonderful week.
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