Wednesday, June 7, 2017

38 weeks

How far along:  38 weeks  (6.7.17)
Total weight gain/loss: +24.5 lbs 
Maternity clothes:  maternity shirts and a couple maternity dresses. Everything else is just my normal stuff that I make work. My jeans with the fringe on the ankles still fit perfectly except that when the denim gets loose they slide down, but as far as my waist goes, they're just right. My skinniest skinnies are most comfortable with a hair through them but I can button them when necessary. 
Sleep:  it's still the same as before.  super crazy and exhausting dreams.  Within the last week or so, I’ve been waking up in the morning around when honey does (anytime between 4:30 and 6) and I have to have milk and go to the bathroom before I put on my eye mask and attempt to fall asleep again in my fully bright bedroom.  Also within the last week, I haven’t been as crazy tired in need of naps.  Which is weird because I’ve been more busy during the day and staying up pretty late at night.  Like at least midnight a lot of times.
Best moment this week:  that's maybe anytime I’ve been productive and feeling accomplished and also maybe just Saturday.  I took the kids to the library for a few hours and then spent almost the entire rest of the day hanging out outside and watching them play (except for an hour or so where I had to go in to nap).  Sometime around 5 o clock, I set up my camp chair on our neighbor’s driveway (so Elizabeth would stop crossing the street back and forth from their house to ours) and actually ended up staying there until 9:30 that night. They brought their camp chairs to hang out and later brought their fire pit to do smores and really it was just a ton of fun.  And then I made a quick scramble to Sarah’s house to pick up Andrew’s church keys and hurry to get into the church and print/make copies of the sacrament program for Sunday morning.  Honey and Brady (they were at a soccer game) got home at 10, right around when I did.  The day worked out really well.  Everything you could hope for for a summer Saturday of perfect weather.
Movement:  still lots of kicks and rolls  and jabs and everything else.  I tend to get contractions most when I bend over or pick something up and normally for an hour or two each night.  I feel like my contractions with Elizabeth at this point in pregnancy were much more frequent and painful so I’m hoping my body is still getting ready for a baby and that I’m not gonna go super late or anything.  I mean, these contractions don’t always feel real nice, but I remember with Elizabeth that they were consistently pretty rough to deal with for weeks leading up to her birth.
Food cravings:  i have gotten to the point where I don’t really hate eating, but it is a time and energy suck and I avoid it when possible.  I normally skip dinner at night (I hate sitting down to dinner with my kids… someday I hope to not hate it) and if I’m super hungry before bed, I might make myself eggs or just some toast or something small.  Or maybe just have some chocolate milk.  One day I basically only ate rice Krispy treats.  They’re practically the same as a granola bar though so I didn’t feel too bad.  Another day, I lived mostly off of chocolate milk.  Last night I didn’t eat dinner and this morning didn’t eat lunch, but at 2 o’clock, I made and ate two eggs over easy on toast.  I also still eat as much candy as I want but I haven’t been wanting it so much lately.
Symptoms:  mild depression that's almost totally under control with zoloft, very increased fatigue (emotionally, physically, mentally, and any other way i can feel fatigue.... i have it all), very rarely feeling like i'm going to faint/pass out when i stand up, super crazy weird dreams, sometimes waking during the early morning to go to the bathroom, growing stomach.  also, sometimes headaches and nausea again lately but not often… I’ve taken the b-6 and unisom each night before bed this entire pregnancy.  
Gender:  i am reeeeeaaaaallllllyyyyy hoping this is still a boy.  I asked my doctor to double check at my 36 week appointment when she got out the ultrasound to determine that baby was head down.  Well, baby was in a position (and wouldn’t move) that she couldn’t get a clear shot.  She tried for quite and while and was really jabbing that thing all over my belly but never had any luck and ultimately said “well! It may just be a surprise!”  Ha.  Thanks.  I still want the name I want but we won’t officially announce anything this after this kid is out.  Another reason I hope this isn’t a girl… we didn’t discuss girl names at all.  
What I miss:  mostly I miss being able to live my life without my belly knocking into things a million times a day.  It’s painful and inconvenient.  I hit it on counter tops and door frames and kids heads (especially at church) and the stupid doors to our washer and dryer and side view mirrors of cars in parking lots and chairs when I’m trying to squeeze through an area or even clean up around my kitchen table.  I don’t remember this happening so much before but it’s crazy annoying.  And painful.  Also, walking up stairs just about kills me every time.  I know I’ve never been an in shape sort of person, but holy cow, walking up the stairs leaves me completely out of breath and with my thighs burning and my whole body just needing to lay down and rest for a few minutes.  The 25 extra pounds doesn’t really feel noticeable unless it’s hot outside or I’m battling a flight of stairs… then it’s the death of me.  Like a weighted sand vest that I’ve got on 24/7.
Milestones:  i'm at 38 weeks! I’m one week into full term and two weeks out from my due date.  So I’ve got some stuff left to do this week and then I told the kid he’s welcome to come anytime next week.  
Theme: the week of finally making a long to do list and trying to get it done.
What's different this time around:  maybe my memory is wrong, but I feel like this is the most of a nesting urge that I’ve ever had.  I don’t care too much about getting anything ready for the baby, but I do want my house to be in order.  I’m waiting until later in summer to figure out the kids’ bedroom configuration… once I know more how this kid’s sleeping habits and temperament should be factored in.  
Extra: I'm weaning off of the Zoloft.  A week or two ago, I counted how many pills I had left and decided that I would ration the remaining pills and wean myself instead of getting another refill.  So, I kept taking a full pill until there were only four left.  Yesterday, I cut the remaining four in half and so today, and the next seven days, I’ll take a half pill each morning and then when they’re out, I’ll be done! I’m hoping for no ill side effects or anything and my doctors and a couple other’s I’ve spoken with have said I’ll be totally fine with this weaning schedule because I was only taking a small 25mg dose anyway.  That’s another reason I’d like for the kid to come next week… if I go past my due date, I’m worried about going to struggle with the depression before this baby comes out.  I’m counting on me being happy after this kid is born like I have been with the other three.  I’ve never had postpartum depression before and I’m thinking I’d like to continue that trend.  
I’ve been trying to look through my hypnobirthing book a bit this time.  It’s the same one I used to prepare for Brady and Elizabeth’s births but I seem to procrastinate more and more each pregnancy and I just picked it up from the library on Saturday.  I’ve read a bit of it but not much.  I’ve also been reading drug free birth stories online but I don’t feel like they’re really helping me prepare like they have in the past.  I know, as Chris has said, “you’ve done this three times already” but it’s still nerve wracking.  Pushing a baby out of your body.  Because I don’t know the timing or necessarily how it will progress.  And it’s easy to forget the pain until you’re in the thick of it again.  I’d prefer not to get an epidural (because the first time when I did, ignorance was bliss, but since then, I’ve heard too many people’s stories about bad, lasting side effects of their epidural) but I’m not 100% against it.  So much like last time with Elizabeth except this time I think I’m slightly more against it.  Last time I went ahead and filled out the paperwork and got the IV and everything so I was right ready for it but then just never felt like I needed it.  This time I think I just don’t want an IV.  I’ll have to ask on my hospital tour tomorrow night if the IV/heplock can be optional.  Ugh.  I need to write down all my questions for that.  Ignorance really is bliss.  I feel like I just get more and more nervous each time I have a kid.  It’ll all be just fine, right?!  No need to worry?  whew.  Deep breaths… we’ve done this before… no big deal. 

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