Wednesday, June 14, 2017

39 weeks

How far along:  39 weeks  (6.14.17)
Total weight gain/loss: +22.5 lbs 
Maternity clothes:  mostly maternity dresses at this point.  I can’t remember the last time I put on pants.  So honestly, I just alternate between the two gray maternity dresses I have and I’m comfortable and still look put together.
Sleep:  it's different.  I’ve been staying up super late (after midnight every night, but sometimes later) and not really getting too tired for naps in the afternoon. Also, I don’t wake up during the night and tend to sleep all the way through until 8:45.  
Best moment this week:  that's a tough one.  For the most part, things are pretty even keel.  Sometimes I’m unhappy or angry, but most of the time I’m doing just fine.  Not thriving, not dying.  ; )
Movement:  still lots of kicks and rolls  and jabs and everything else.  I tend to get contractions most when I bend over or pick something up.  The last few days, I feel like my contractions have definitely been more pronounced than they were before.  Also, they tend to happen on the hour, or :20, or :40.  They’re not consistently 20 minutes apart, all day long, but when I take note of them, that’s when they’re most likely to be.  
Food cravings:  i have gotten pretty used to not really eating.  Many days, I won’t have anything (other than milk) until 2:30 or so.  On Monday, I ate some oatmeal at 11am and then didn’t have anything else until 6:30 or 7 when we ate dinner.  It’s pretty normal for me to just have one main meal of the day (the time is not consistent) and other than that, just snacking on small stuff (like a frozen gogurt or a slice or two of apple if I’m cutting them up for the kids already) and drinking milk.
Symptoms:  mild depression, very increased fatigue (emotionally, physically, mentally, and any other way i can feel fatigue.... i have it all), sometimes feeling like i'm going to faint/pass out when i stand up, super crazy weird dreams, growing stomach.  also, sometimes headaches and nausea again lately but not often… I’ve taken the b-6 and unisom each night before bed this entire pregnancy.  
Gender:  I am planning on a boy!
What I miss:  same as before... I miss being able to live my life without my belly knocking into things a million times a day.  It’s painful and inconvenient.  I hit it on counter tops and door frames and kids heads (especially at church) and the stupid doors to our washer and dryer and side view mirrors of cars in parking lots and chairs when I’m trying to squeeze through an area or even clean up around my kitchen table.  I don’t remember this happening so much before but it’s crazy annoying.  And painful.  Also, walking up stairs just about kills me every time.  I know I’ve never been an in shape sort of person, but holy cow, walking up the stairs leaves me completely out of breath and with my thighs burning and my whole body just needing to lay down and rest for a few minutes.  The 25 extra pounds doesn’t really feel noticeable unless it’s hot outside or I’m battling a flight of stairs… then it’s the death of me.  Like a weighted sand vest that I’ve got on 24/7.
Milestones:  i'm at 39 weeks! I feel like my house and whatever is ready enough for this kid to come although mentally, I have a hard time actually thinking that I’ll be bringing a baby home soon.  So weird that I can’t picture it really.  I feel like I’m ready for this baby to come, but looking internally, there’s something that feels like it’s not quiet ready or it’s dragging its feet and holding back.  I honestly can’t describe it but it’s semi like an out of body experience that I’m witnessing it.  I can tell that my body is getting closer to labor though.  I don’t feel uncomfortable (thank goodness for that! I’ve been shocked at how very normal my body feels… way better than it did a month and two months ago), but I’ve noticed more contractions and a backache that comes and goes that I haven’t experienced in a long time.
Theme: the week of just staying up on all the chores while I wait for a baby!
What's different this time around:  maybe my memory is wrong, but I feel like this is the most of a nesting urge that I’ve ever had.  I don’t care too much about getting anything ready for the baby, but I do want my house to be in order.  
Extra: I'm thankful that I haven’t experienced any major ill effects of weaning from the Zoloft.  I mean, maybe headaches or something, but nothing so noticeable or out of the ordinary that I can specifically attribute it to the Zoloft. It hasn’t been a nightmare like when I was starting to take it.  I have noticed that my patience with my kids is diminishing.  It became obvious to me several days after I’d started weaning when Chris commented to me (in a gentle and loving way) that I always sounded irritated with our kids 24/7 and explained it a little.  He made another comment the following day and then even sent me a text the next morning on Sunday before church and said something like “let’s try for a positive and happy day today, okay?”  At that point, I realized that maybe I owed him a bit of an explanation and let him know that my emotions only get more difficult as my due date approaches but also that I’d be only taking a half pill of the Zoloft lately, even though a full dose wouldn’t even be enough to help me at this point.  Double rough.  He was very understanding.  I think it helped him to hear a little bit of the reasoning behind my (somewhat quick) decline in behavior.
Same as in previous pregnancies, I think my least favorite part about reaching the end of pregnancy is that everyone assumes you’re uncomfortable and anxious to have the baby and so they’re always making comments like “you’re still here?!” “When’s that baby gonna come?!” “Man, are you soooo DONE already?!” and on and on.  No, I’m perfectly fine for this baby to keep cooking and I’m thankful for the time to prepare for his arrival.  The only thing that makes me anxious to have a baby is that I don’t want him to be soooo crazy young when we fly to Atlanta next month.  But I think that’s it.  

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