7:38 am and wasting no time

"Good morning, do you want to finish the rest of our ivy and bean book?"

"Umm, sure.  Did you want to eat first?"

"Nope... [flipping through the pages]... Here we are!" 

And that's what happened at 7:38. 

33 weeks

How far along:  33 weeks  (4.16.15)

Total weight gain/loss: 26 lbs

Maternity clothes:  yes.  i've been having a lot of fun dressing the bump this week.  might as well since soon enough, my shirts will be too short and i'll be cursing the fact that it's socially necessary to wear clothes. 

Sleep:  it's really not bad, especially if i can go to sleep early and not wake up til sometime after 7:30...  my dreams this week have even been somewhat normal at times.  like not every single dream is about someone trying to kill me or not being able to talk or being suck in a foreign third world country when the government is getting overthrown by rebels... ; )  make no mistake, they're still really odd (as most dreams are), but last night, involved a few friends, and some treats like root beer and powdered donuts on a party bus. 

Best moment this week:  my favorite thing of this week has probably (if we're talking pregnancy related) just been getting dressed and going out.  and soaking up all the incredible weather we've been having.

Movement:  lots of movement... same as before.  she's started getting up in my right rib cage quite a bit, contractions are as they were, and holy cow, sometimes she gets bouncing around in there soooo crazy.  the newest development from the week is that she will really poke my belly somewhere, and i swear my skin has to have a knob sticking out three inches.  i am positively alarmed at the tiny little distance separating her hands from mine when i feel my belly with all her movement.  it's the coolest thing ever.

Food cravings:  it's not horrible, but it's never really fulfilling either.  most days are still cereal for breakfast, eggs for lunch, an apple pear (and copious amounts of chocolate and sugar in the form of various candy) for snack, and something simple for dinner.  my body wants me to constantly feed it... even if i'm not hungry, i reach for sugar of some sort.  i really should focus more on eating healthier foods.  in terms of my eating habits this pregnancy, i've been thinking only of myself and virtually never of my baby that i'm growing.  i suck.  

Symptoms: nausea in the evenings, fatigue in the afternoons, dull back pain, some headaches, and just those sorts of usual things.  nothing that really gets in the way though.

Gender:  i'm so excited for this little girl.  the good thing though is that if she came out a boy... i'd be excited for that kid too.  ; ) 

What I miss:  umm, it's getting really difficult to turn over at night.  so i am starting to miss the ease of that movement.  last night i was cuddled up with christopher but remembered that i hadn't put my phone on silent and plugged it in... so i rolled over to do that and it was so difficult to roll over that i just stayed like that.  a minute later christopher was all "are you coming back?"  ha, i wan't planning on it... because it took so much effort to roll to this side.  it just seemed excessive to roll right back.  

Milestones:  i'm big enough now that i'm constantly getting questions about my due date.  this came on suddenly, but i have a feeling that it's here to stay.
Theme: the week of "when are you due?" begins...
What's different this time around:  ehhh, i dunno, it's probably the same.  i really don't know unless i wanted to go back and reread their weekly update.

Extra:  i'm loving the bump.  seriously.  also, i feel like i write one of these updates every two days... why is time flying by so fast?!  i can't remember if i've mentioned it before, but i'm pretty settled on having our baby be a guest in our guest room.  i need to start pulling out clothing and diapers and blankets and get everything sorted through and set up as much as possible.  i didn't do that sort of stuff for abigail until i was past my due date.  with brady, i was a few weeks ahead of the game and feeling like i was totally on top of things, but it ended up being like 4 days before i had him because he came early.  HA.  so hopefully i can make things happen a little sooner this time.  i keep coming up with excuses though.  and i'm lazy.  basically, i don't want to take away from family time to get this all done, but i also am always hesitant about attempting this when the kids are around because they always want to be involved and brady is always mixing things up and then i get frustrated and give up and the project that should have taken a relatively short amount of time turns into a multiple week mess because brady has strewn things beyond repair and made the situation totally overwhelming for me.  anyways... to do list: get out baby stuff.

4.16.15 at 33 weeks

4/16/15 at 33 weeks

it's all relative

today, honey came home around one, to eat lunch and work from home the rest of the day.  he saw three camp chairs set up in the sun in our front yard and watched as we all hung out and ate tuna sandwiches and said "man, are you guys just livin' the life or what?"  it's true, we were.  but then 10 minutes later, our kids got this idea that they wanted juice (chris mixes up crystal light sometimes and shares it with the kids... so they were begging him for juice, even though he wasn't drinking it at the time) and although chris told them no and brady let it rest, abigail kept whining... so chris took off inside and headed into his office to work.  abigail was all "yeay! daddy went to get me juice!" and i'm all "no, daddy got sick of your whining and went inside to work on stuff... he's not coming back out."  ha.  

so then a little bit later, we came inside to make hummus, eat a little, and have nap time and quiet time.  as abigail sat down at the table, i put the hummus in front of her and told her i was going to cut up a bell pepper for her to eat it with.  she instantly started whining that she doesn't like red peppers and she just really wanted carrots to eat with her hummus.  so i'm all, fine, we've already got an open bag of carrots in the fridge and that saves me from needing to cut up a pepper right now.  so as i'm getting out the carrots, i explain to her that actually she DOES like red peppers and she instantly changes her mind that she wants both... carrots and peppers.  i told her one is all we're doing for lunch and here are your carrots.  and then she won't stop whining about how she wanted bell peppers no matter how many times i tell her that we're only doing one thing and she chose carrots.  i know many people would be happy to have their four year beg for hummus and carrots and then cry because they want bell peppers to, but i was not having it.  i told her she was about to lose her opportunity to eat the food she had if she didn't say thank you and start eating and she gave me a snotty "thank you" and then growled at me.  not sure where she got the growling thing from, but she's been doing that some lately and it drives me insane.  so i told her to go to her room for a few minutes, so she screamed and cried the whole way there and for at least five minutes probably.  i got her and talked to her and invited her to come downstairs with us again to eat.  

then honey came in and brady was eating his granola with milk and abigail had her hummus and carrots and i had an apple pear and everyone was wanting everyone else's food and was getting increasingly whiny about it.  they wanted honey's cheese and cookie and everyone wanted my apple pear and brady wanted the hummus and carrots even though he'd already had his fill when abigail was in her room.  i asked honey if he still thought we were living the life.  ; )

then i hurried to take brady up for nap since it was already almost 2:30.  his nap and sleep schedule has been stressing me out lately because he sleeps so long at night and takes long naps during the day (if he naps) but then i know he's getting older and probably doesn't need so much sleep anymore.  15 hours at night plus a 3 hour nap is 18 hours, which seems like a lot for a two year old.  so ideally i would put him down between 7 and 8 and he'd wake up on his own around 9am and then nap from 1-3 or something... but that's not really how that plays out and he ends up sleeping til at least 10 or 11, even when he goes to sleep at 7.  i wake him up at 9 on days that we have to take abigail to preschool... but it's so hit and miss with him when i have to wake him up before he's ready, that on days when i don't have to, it's practically impossible for me to bring myself to wake him.  several days recently, i've just let him sleep as late as he wants (hanging out in his crib til after 11 or closer to noon) and then having the kids in bed by 7pm.  it's great some days but other days it would work out better to have the morning available for us to get out and the afternoon for me to have a few hours free of my kids.  ; )  all of this is just so my future self can look back and say "man, i used to be uptight" and "glad that turned out to be nothing to stress about."  in the meantime, i'll just keep playing this by ear.  i'm so great at this experimental parenting thing.

ps- i just had such an insanely happy thought.  honey's busiest time of the year is during the time of a traditional school year... when it's cold outside and dark for most of the day.  when work and stress was picking up for him this past fall, i was stressing hardcore about how the future months would be difficult on our marriage and difficult for me as a mother, not having his support as much.  i cried myself to sleep a few nights, knowing the difficult that lied ahead.  especially when i got pregnant and knew that that would add emotional difficulty and fatigue to the situation.  i had a little talk with my honey and let me know that this was stressing me out already because i'd grown accustomed to his help and companionship and i wasn't ready to be solo again.  my honey was so sweet and wonderful and i think he really took in everything i was saying.  i don't think he would have known those things had i not been so straightforward with him about it.  i'm sure my tears helped convey that the fear was real.  well, he rocked it.  he was so awesome about being great at home, even if he'd had a rough day.  and he was so great about helping out around the house and being so sympathetic to my shortcomings as a wife and mother that were and weren't related to pregnancy.  seriously so much so, that i just realized it's really really really spring and he's going to start coming home earlier and traveling less (well, come mid may) and that basically... we made it.  i made it another winter and i never even felt like our marriage suffered (which has been a very real feeling for me in previous winters) or that our family life was really strained.  i didn't even beg him to give up his company and get a nine to five job.  ; )  so, there's my extreme gratitude, poorly portrayed in a simple paragraph.  i am so grateful.  

32 weeks

How far along:  32 weeks  (4.9.15)

Total weight gain/loss: 25 lbs... just as an fyi, this is more than i gained with either previous pregnancy.  whoops.

Maternity clothes:  yes... same as before.  there's this old navy maternity dress i found an loved, but it was stil $18 on sale and when i calculated the weeks that i have left... i just couldn't justify it.  but if i was due in october, i would have bought it in a heartbeat.  sooo cute and comfy.  i've gotten a number of comments over the last several weeks from people surprised that i'm still wearing regular jeans.  they're my regular jeans from before, but they were always roomy, and have a huge waist.  i have plenty of jeans that are too small in the waist to button. also, i have very low tolerance for the bella band this time around, as well as the maternity jeans from before that have the full panel.  they do not stay up and i can't handle them falling down all day.  i've got no patience for that. i'm already to the point that i wish my shirts were longer.  wondering how that will pan out in the weeks to come. 

Sleep:  i don't want to jinx anything, but it's been better as of late.  i get so tired reading on my phone in bed that i can just lay it on my nightstand and instantly fall asleep.  i keep waking up on my back still, but i think my hips are positioned enough in a way that i'm not flat on my back and my body is sufficiently tilted.

Best moment this week:  conference on saturday and sunday.  and mom and dad being in town on monday and tuesday.

Movement:  just the same as what it has been.  not too noticeable if i'm up and moving around, but she's constantly moving when i'm sitting or being calm.  i've been having a lot more contractions/baby lodging herself in a corner so i'm frequently experiencing that tight, uncomfortable feeling.

Food cravings:  i like eating just fine.  it's not euphoric, but it's not horrendous either.  so that's nice.  around 3:30 or 4, i still frequently get a headache and nausea but sometimes the nausea isn't even noticeable until after 7 or later, so that's really nice because then i can just take my pills and head to bed.  

Symptoms: not sure why, but i've been experiencing some dull lower back pain which always freaks me out that i'm getting closer to the end of this pregnancy and labor and everything, but it's not terribly inconvenient itself.  other than that, just the usual and i'm feeling pretty great.

Gender:  hopefully a girl!  i only get that one 20 week ultrasound to learn the gender, so hopefully the tech didn't make a mistake!  with abigail and with brady, it was extremely clear what they were... i didn't think the picture was as obvious this time around though so of course i worry in the back of my head that we'll be taken by surprise with a boy.  

What I miss:  not worrying if my shirt is long enough.  ; )  i think that's about it though.  i love the belly. being pregnant is so cool.

Milestones:  i have less than two months to go!
Theme: the week of contractions getting really noticeable.
What's different this time around:  with abigail, from what i remember, thing are pretty on par with previous pregnancies... except for the fact that i've gained more weight this time around.

Extra:  i had my 32 week appointment today.  it was once of those quick and pointless appointments... it was nice though because i was in and out super fast.  the np again commented on how active my baby was (especially when she kept kicking at the doppler when we were getting the heart rate) and asked what i ate for breakfast.  i confessed that i had cereal again, but it was life this time instead of captain crunch.  so she was surprised that my baby was going so crazy.  she also commented on how i was still wearing regular jeans.  i always just feel like i'm hanging out with a friend during our appointments... i have trouble remembering that she's my doctor.  i like that though.  next time i'll be meeting with dr. walker... and i'll be 36 weeks!  yikes.  hopefully i'll be able to remember to ask her my questions about early labor and what to look for and basically everything else that worries me about knowing if i'm really in labor while still making it to the hospital in time.

4.12.15 at 32 weeks, 3 days

4.12.15 at 32 weeks, 3 days

the faces of brady

and... who's so glad when daddy comes home?  this guy.

Rocking my baby to sleep

Tonight, I rocked brady to sleep in his glider. And then I held him for close to an hour. It was precious and sweet and perfect and I am so grateful for that experience. My heart bursts for that boy.

princess parties, hockey, and cows

abigail is big into party planning.  so she plans these parties (which really just involves trashing the great room with who knows what and pulling out every kid sized seating in our house and gathering around the coffee table that has been filled with every single food toy we have, all perfectly arranged on plates) and then invites the two neighbor girls across the street to come to her princess party.  so then they come over, dress up, pretend to eat pretend food, and then call it good.  this time though, abigail wanted real food.  like a cake.  i bartered her down to cinnamon rolls from a can and happily, that satisfied everyone.  here're the party-goers... in all their glory...

brady got bored after the cinnamon rolls were finished and moved onto more manly things like riding his bike with abigail's minnie mouse helmet...

and getting so excited to see his daddy after work (my honey always gets calls on his way home from work if he tries to sneak out early, so often, we find his car in the garage and 30 minutes later, he'll walk around the corner, finally done with his phone call)...

and playing hockey.

also... happy day!  we have cows again!  word on the street is that they're going to finally start building town homes or something back here where the cows graze (there's a fence you can't see very well... right where that line of cows is) sometime this summer so i was worried we wouldn't get to see cows anymore.  but here they are and i love it!

springtime in colorado is wonderful!

"I wanna sing a song please, mommy"

i'd put a springtime max and ruby dvd on for the kids and then settled in my bed with my laptop to write my 31 week pregnancy post.  i was most of the way through it when brady opened the door to my bedroom.

hanging on the door handle, he said, with his sweet toddler voice "i wanna sing a song please mommy..."
me: "what?  right now?  what song do you want to sing?"
brady; "i'm a child of god"
me: "okay, come on over and snuggle up with me then."
so he ran over and i lifted him up, heaved him over my belly, and put my arm around him while he snuggled up to my belly and laid his head on my chest."

and then i sang.  i sang 'i am a child of god' and had barely finished when he instantly requested 'jesus sunbeam' so i sang that.  and then it was over.  he was all done.

"brady, should we sing another song?"
"no."
"what song do you want to sing?  i am a child of god again?"

but nope... he was finished.

that is the epitome of short and sweet.  after all the crying he's done today and him pulling abigail's hair in the car (and not letting go forever) on our way back from the airport and crying through nap tie instead of actually sleeping... it was much appreciated.

my sweetest little boy.

31 weeks

How far along:  31 weeks  (4.2.14)

Total weight gain/loss: 24 lbs?  it was 22.5 or 23 all week but after texas roadhouse last night, i'm a solid +24...

Maternity clothes:  yes... i have one pair of maternity pants and a lot of maternity shirts that i wear... that's basically it though.  i'm normally wearing regular jeans, and my undershirts are normal tanks/shade shirts.  i try to wear some sort of cardigan every day to conceal my love handles and camouflage how wide i am from front to back.  that side view... it's alarming.  

Sleep:  not awesome.same as it has been.  crazy dreams.  and i know i toss and turn a lot especially in the am hours.  i try not to look at the time, but i've gotten pretty good at judging the time by if my honey is still sleeping, in bed looking at his phone, or already left for work.  sometimes i have to get out of bed in the early hours to go to the bathroom, but i can always go back to sleep so that's pretty good.

Best moment this week:  mom and dad coming into town!  they came tuesday morning and left today at noon.  it was a really great 24 hours.

Movement:  just what it has been.  i feel like the punching is declining, but i feel little fists and elbows rolling all over when i'm driving and sitting down.  also, like before, she's most active when i'm resting, especially in the morning and at night.

Food cravings:  i really don't get excited about food, but for the most part, if i don't let myself get too hungry, then i don't feel too sick.  it's pretty normal to feel somewhat sick after 4pm, but i can normally find something my stomach can handle so it doesn't escalate or really interfere with life.  i made butternut squash the other day and i was pretty excited about it.  but as it was cooking, i'd walk into the kitchen and get grossed out by the smell.  eventually, i locked myself in my room for the night and my honey took it out of the oven for me, let it cool, and put it in the fridge for me.  i haven't gotten it out yet, but i should probably try to heat that up and feed it to my kids soon.  especially since abigail was begging me for it the whole time it was cooking... i guess it seemed more appealing to her.  i'm still eating cereal for breakfast but it's not really hitting the spot... also, i'm becoming increasingly sensitive to how it gets soggy at the end.  i can't handle that.  and one day this week, i drank some chocolate milk and it was tasting good... fifteen minutes later, i drank some more and it tasted off... and has tasted off since.  ugh, pregnancy is so weird. 

Symptoms: nausea, big belly, headaches, backaches, fatigue and laziness, weird dreams and restless sleep.

Gender:  girl!  after my parents leave next week (they're stopping by again after conference), i'll hopefully get out and sort through the bins of girl clothes that i have and start to get some of that stuff out and probably hung up in the guest closet.  i'd rather tackle that now, while i semi have energy and motivation for it instead of leaving it for the end when i may have nothing left in me.  and brady ended up coming early, and i'd just barely done all the prep the week before so i kind of felt like i was cutting things a bit closer than i probably should have.

What I miss:  not too much.  it's so cool being pregnant.

Milestones:  i'm kind of freaking out... single digit weeks to go!
Theme: the week of experiencing it all and loving it.
What's different this time around:  i think as of right now... there are few differences between this pregnancy and my pregnancy with abigail... 

Extra:  when i woke up this morning, literally my first thought upon opening my eyes was "CRAP! it's thursday! i'm 31 weeks already!" followed by a few more crap crap, how did this happen, maybe i'm mistaken, crap i'm not.  so it's safe to say that i'm still freaking out about how fast pregnancy is going.  i'll be totally fine to go past my due date, but i'm planning for this baby to come at the end of may... just in case.  honey said he's not going to be traveling at all after may 13th or something... three weeks before my due date.  so i feel good about that, because brady was born 11 days early, and my honey was supposed to go out of town at 9 days before my due date... i think that trip ended up getting canceled or rescheduled or maybe he sent someone else instead.  anyways, i told him that this time around, we needed more of a buffer.  especially since my labor with brady was less than 3 hours.  even if he's in colorado... that's not necessarily enough time to get back for the actual birth.  which is another thought i've been stressing.  i wish i knew how long this labor would be lasting and how much time i'll have.  last time was a little close for comfort and i would really really like to have a hospital birth instead of some roadside delivery.  also, i know i need to start practicing some hypnobirthing breathing (and train my honey on how to coach me through breathing if i start hyperventilating again) but i'm still in denial/dragging my feet because i would just like to enjoy pregnancy more without having to worry about the whole baby part yet.  

anyways, it's all going well right now.  i'm enjoying pregnancy, despite the odd symptoms and inconveniences.  i was at old navy today and the cashier girl asked if i was having another girl (based on the clothes i was buying) and said something like "i think i saw you in here a few months ago and you were not showing nearly as much as you are now" or something like that that was phrased nicely but really meant "holy cow you've gotten really huge really fast!"  she probably remembers from when i went in in january after finding out this kid is a girl since that was the most recent time i was there.  anyways, i remember her because there's only two or three cashiers that i ever see working there.  but i'm sure she gets a million and one customers coming through. so now i'm just a little self conscious that i'm so memorable with my pregnant belly and two rambunctious children... ha.

4.8.15 at 31 weeks, 6 days

4.8.15 at 31 weeks, 6 days

pictures from a day

just another day in the life...

brady woke up with a nasty diaper and horrible rash... he'd just had a bath the night before though, so we just did a quick soak in the sink.  why do my kids love drinking out of a spray bottle?

after all the tears of the diaper rash drama, this kid was happy as could be and ready to go.

but check out the bedhead.  both of my kids have always gotten such crazy bedhead.  is this normal or is it that they have to cram their heads into something for them to sleep soundly?

i spritzed him a bit to try to tame things.  this kid hates getting his hair done.

i love that these two are bff.  it's so precious.

although they make five times the mess when they're together... it's like their creative juices combine.

this is why it's crucial to move furniture when you clean and vacuum.  i'm not sure if this stuff all got pushed under here accidentally or if abigail has squirrel like hoarding tendencies.

also, here is a real question that i've been pondering deeply for the past several weeks... when is the best time to vacuum?  i've got two young kids so that rules out the hours from 7pm to 10/11am when they're sleeping... as well as that three hour chunk in the afternoon when brady naps.  during the awake times, there are always toys somewhere on the floor because they're playing, which makes it difficult to vacuum... but i can't just put all the toys away and have them watch a show while i vacuum because it's too loud for them to hear.  also, they're both somewhat averse to loud noises so they don't necessarily want to play in the playroom (hardwood floors) for 30 minutes all alone while i vacuum the whole house.  seriously, anyone have a good answer to this?  the current thing we've been doing is that i vacuum when chris is home and is able to play with the kids outside or in the playroom or feed them dinner downstairs while i vacuum upstairs and then he gets, them ready for bed upstairs while i vacuum the main floor.  i know it's not the end of the world, but it is annoying.  any suggestions or is this just our best option for the time being?

an ordinary day

we got groceries at walmart, ate a little picnic in our front yard, and colored with sidewalk chalk.  so obviously it deserved a blog post.