Sunday, November 17, 2013

Life is good

It was about this time two years ago that I was so extremely overwhelmed with the blessings in my life. I prayed long and hard every night for Heavenly Father to bless me with opportunities to serve so that I could be even just a tiny bit more worthy of the many many many blessings in my life. 

A month later, I got called as the young women president. Then a few months after that, I got pregnant with Brady. 

Both huge blessings and huge opportunities to serve. Also, hugely taxing on me. 

It's been almost a month since I was released from my calling. I won't lie, it feels as amazing as ever. I love seeing my young women in the hallways at church. I love hearing them say "sister Hillier, we miss you!" and just saying "I love you and miss you too!" without feeling the weight of their eternal salvation on my shoulders. The weight of that calling was crushing. In a blinding sort of way. But now, the fog has lifted, I can think clearly again, I feel as light as air. 

I have a new calling now... On the welcoming committee. I wanted this calling so badly. And was thrilled beyond belief when I actually got it. I'm doing as much as I can for it and am loving every second of it. But my biggest complaint?  It's not enough. Once again, I'm having those feelings come back. Those overwhelming feelings of gratitude and being so undeserving and inadequate. 

I'm reluctant to pray for those service opportunities like I did last time because that got me a hefty calling and a challenging child. ; )

But really, how am I supposed to handle this?  It quite literally keeps me awake at night.

Life is good. Way way way too good. 

Happy Sunday!  Who's excited for Monday?!  It's gonna be a great week. 


1 comment:

ok said...

I can give you something you could do to help (that wouldn't be overwhelming!)! The RSP is tasked with doing visits to sisters who are in need of compassionate service. Sometimes it is really hard to get around to everyone who needs a visit. I'm sure if you volunteered to take some of the names for visiting your RSP would LOVE you!