Wednesday, March 29, 2017

28 weeks

How far along:  28 weeks  (3.29.17)
Total weight gain/loss: +20? lbs 
Maternity clothes:  just some maternity shirts still. my smallest skinny jeans that normally fit me perfectly are starting to dig into my love handles.  I've worn them with a hair tie around the button hole a couple times. I wore my favorite maternity skinnies but they're still so big and slide all over. 
Sleep:  it's still the same as before.  super crazy and exhausting dreams.  never feeling like my sleep is restful at all.  typically waking up feeling tired still. The norm is to wake up once during the night to drink my milk and go to the bathroom. I think this is normally around 3 or 4am. 
Best moment this week:  there's not a whole lot of really happy things for me to think of, but Friday night, I was able to stand up completely straight for the first time in days and I could t stop showing Chris and telling him how amazing it was. 
Movement:  still so many kicks and punches! i can't figure out if this kid is just really active or if i've just forgotten how much babies move.  it's so strong.  also, brady and abigail like feeling the bumps and Elizabeth has taken a real liking to cuddling my belly.  
Food cravings:  it's going okay... Mostly same as before but I'm becoming more picky. I made cauliflower soup the other day but then literally was so grossed out that I told chris dinner was in the crock pot and he would need to feed himself and the kids while I stayed in my room. i still eat a lot of sweets during the morning hours of each day.  my cravings for eggs come and go.  i still like eggs on toast and i've been loving egg salad sandwiches this pregnancy and within the past two weeks, I've loved runny eggs (cooked inside the bread).
Symptoms: some mild depression (crying and anger and apathy, almost totally under control with zoloft), increased fatigue, still sometimes feeling like i'm going to faint/pass out when i stand up, super super weird dreams, sometimes waking during the night for no reason at all, growing stomach...  my skin is mostly all cleared up and i haven't been getting headaches or nausea lately.  i've been getting so much more tired though... mentally and physically.  also, unrelated to pregnancy, but i've been having pretty bad back pain again that is harder to deal with because of my big belly.  walking is painful, and walking while trying to hold elizabeth is something i can only do very minimally and not without pain... also, i can't walk fully upright while holding her so i look ridiculous in public.  also, it is very painful and difficult for me to put her in her crib because of  trying to hold her while lean over.  not pregnant, i can just support myself with my stomach on the crib rail, but being pregnant that's harder now and i try to do that above my belly.  i still half drop her in her crib every time though.  she's used to it now and it's no big deal.  sometimes the disc pain lasts weeks and sometimes just a few days... i'm hoping this time it goes away sooner rather than later.  also, my contractions are getting more frequent and pronounced.  i'm honestly dreading how bad they'll be ten weeks from now because i remember how bad they were at the end of elizabeth's pregnancy.  and this pregnancy, i started having contractions at 12ish weeks.  heaven help me, they don't feel nice.  
Gender:  i'm still in occasional denial and have to remind myself that this is a boy.  about half the time, i keep thinking ahead to summer and that i'll have a baby girl or i hear a girl name that i like and i'm all, "i should add that to my list!" before i remember that i'm having a boy. i think we're decided on the middle name (shortest conversation ever... maybe ten seconds start to finish?) but haven't decided on a first name.  chris and i each have one name that we like.  we all like each other's choice so that's good.  but we don't want to use both because the middle name will for sure be a family name.  for some reason, in my head, i've already assumed that we'll just do the name i like but i think that's because chris normally just lets me do whatever i want.  i do want to be considerate of him though because i've named the last two kids.  we'll see!
What I miss:  same as before... sometimes i'm just sad that i don't want to hang out with my kids more or that i don't feel as much love and affection for them as i should. also, it's kind of a time suck that i need so much sleep. i feel like i don't get much alone time because i need so much sleep and there's not time for both. i also miss having any energy.  i'm just so tired all day.  
Milestones:  i frequently don't know how pregnant i am.  i can't believe i'm only three months out though.  yikes.  i'm not ready for four kids at home this summer.  especially because elizabeth is still so much a baby.  i can't handle two babies yet.  
Theme: the week of being tired 24/7
What's different this time around:  maybe it feels most like brady's pregnancy right now... just because the zoloft alleviates the depression that i felt with each of the girls.  
Extra: eh.

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