Friday, September 18, 2015

Day out with Thomas

Also, we should have studied for this. 

The past two years, I've taken Abigail to say out with Thomas up in golden. The first year, she was still really into Thomas. Last year, it wasn't magical , but we probably had even more fun than the first year... If that makes any sense. Abigail has asked about it several times over the year so I figured I should just take her again. But Brady is old enough that I thought maybe he would want to come too. So, we're kinda going just to go. Not because my kids are obsessed, but just because I think they'll enjoy it anyway. 

So the past two years, I've just woken Abigail up the morning of and surprised her with it. Zero mention of it before. I was planning to do that this time until 30 minutes ago when the kids were with us and honey was all "Brady, are you excited to see Thomas tomorrow?!" So there went that. Ha. I went ahead and told the kids. Abigail was like "yeah, I know. I just heard daddy tell Brady."  So then I'm sitting with Brady while he doesn't fall asleep (because he power napped in the car when we were getting passports but that's a whooooole other painful and long story) and he's asking me, "mom, is Thomas the blue one?"  HA. Yeah, it's safe to say that he never got into trains like Abigail did. Still, I think it'll be cool. I'm mostly just nervous that Abigail will be rude and mean to Brady all day (that's just our life 24/7 around here) and make things unpleasant and difficult for us. Even bigger than that, I'm just anxious about leaving Elizabeth for so long during the day. Night time is different because she sleeps so much anyway, but this will all be daytime hours. And we're going to the Rockies game tomorrow night and leaving the kids with a babysitter so I'll see Elizabeth for maaaaybe an hour tomorrow. I know that's the norm for Christopher (on a good day), but not for me. My heart is already aching at the thought. She's my therapy these days. Just holding her helps my mood so much. I don't ever feel like I need a break from her... Just everyone else. But I guess that's why I'm doing tomorrow. Because those are the people I need to spend more quality time with. Even if it pains me to miss my baby so. 

Wish me luck with that part. I think I'll need it. 

On a somewhat related note. When I told Abigail last year, that morning, is woken up early to take a pregnancy test because I just knew I was pregnant. Even though it showed up negative (there seemed to be the faintest evaporation line though), I still knew I was pregnant. And I let myself believe that the evaporation line was the beginning of a real positive line. I didn't say a word to a single soul, but that day taking Abigail to Thomas was so special to me. Because I knew I had a little baby in me. And when I started to feel so nauseous on that drive home, I knew even more... And was pretty sure it was a girl. It was my first memory of Abigail and Elizabeth and me... Just driving home from day out with Thomas. 

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