My kids are trying to kill me

Oh my goodness, words can't express how much today sucked. Rest assured, there were some happy moments of today, but I'm practically positive that none of them included my kids. I used to like my kids. But lately? No. They are horrible. I mean, worse than horrible. I'm wondering if it's too late to back out of this whole parenthood thing. 

I spent 90% of church today trying to wipe my tears as discretely as possible. Have I told you lately how I haven't been enjoying my children? I was thiiiiis close to leaving church today (which I have never ever done) during sacrament meeting except that ishes bed my kids and run out without my purse. And I'd already been in and out at least six times and there was still at least twenty minutes late and I didn't want everyone to see my tear soaked eyes while I ran in to grab my purse and not return to church til next week. That is the only reason I stayed. Even though I told myself it was because I wanted to enjoy two hours to myself by staying at church and sending my kids to nursery and primary. Well jokes on me because brady threw too many fits and I literally was only away from him for the last twenty minutes of church. And that was because I took him to the nursery room and say "Bronwyn, I'm sorry if he screams, but I have to leave him here or I'm going to lose my marbles."  And what do us know, he didn't even cry. And he didn't even want to come home with me when I picked him up at the end. What the heck brady?!

But my real problem of the day (and most days, let's just be honest here) was Abigail. Which I won't even go into because my fingers would fall off from typing. I used to be obsessed with her when she was younger. If we were in a marriage relationship instead of a mother daughter relationship, I would be seeking out a divorce lawyer. Is there such thing as boarding school kindergarten? That offers a summer school option? That has immediate availability? I just keep talking to myself (because I'm going insane) and saying "I sure hope my mother hated me for the majority of my childhood" because that at least would give me hope for my future with Abigail. 

The plus side is that I've handled this all pretty well and haven't been a horrendous parent. Even if I do wish that someone would offer to adopt my children. 

Hallelujah that my honey gets back in town tomorrow. Hopefully I'm still alive then.