Abigail and Brady have been super well behaved lately. They are so up on our schedule and it runs like a well oiled machine. They've been especially great about cleaning up. I love never having to clean up toys. That's a kid job.
Abigail still drives me crazy with her progression and regression. She'll be doing so great and then (yesterday and today) she'll decide to do crap like poop in her underwear and/or lie about all sorts of unnecessary stuff. Seriously kid?! You're 4.5! Get with the program!
Brady is at the cutest age ever. I seriously can't get over it. Every word he says and thing he does. It's adorable. Right down to the way he shakes his head and holds his sippy. Sadly, over the last two weeks, he's developed anxiety about going to sleep at night and for nap and doesn't want me to leave (although he's never loved sleep like Abigail who regularly begged for nap time) but it does crack me up when leaving and he's all "mommy! Come back!" Ha.
For the last two weeks, I've been experiencing varying degrees of pregnancy depression. As you could guess, it sucks. I know I experienced it in my two previous pregnancies but couldn't remember details. I looked through Abigail archives and apparently it was right at this same time. Ugh I wish I knew how long it lasted though. With Abigail, it was a lot of apathy and not wanting to get out of bed ever. I've got that this time, but the more powerful feeling is that of overwhelming guilt and feelings of worthlessness. So I lay in bed and eat all my meals in bed because I don't want to do normal aspects of life but then it adds to my guilt because I am the biggest jerk ever for not wanting to be out and playing with my kids. It's a vicious cycle. Some days are better than others, but overall, I know I'm in it and I'm trying to act accordingly and somewhat keep things in perspective.
The kids and I are heading to Atlanta on Tuesday and I'm starting to get packing anxiety. Not for the kids or their stay in Atlanta, but mostly for my pregnant self and Brazil. Honey and I leave for Brazil on Thursday. I've been experiencing more morning sickness lately (mostly the second half of the day) so I'm a little worried about that while traveling, especially in another country. But mostly I'm worried about experiencing depression on this trip and I already warned honey that he'll need to be extra supportive and love me even if I'm horrible or cry a lot. He's more concerned about the snow storm coming in on Wednesday/Thursday and if he'll even make it to Brazil. ; ) Thanks honey.
I did something scary yesterday and accomplished it 100%. I went to a car dealership yesterday by myself to look at cars. Dealerships are scary to me and I don't actually feel like a grownup yet (I'm seriously hoping this will happen someday) but it didn't make sense to drag honey and/or the kids just so I could check out different minivans to figure out what details were and weren't important to me. Well, I went myself, got a super nice helper guy, and learned a lot. It was soooo helpful and now we're well on our way to hopefully getting a minivan within a month. On a related note, I'm getting nostalgic about having to part with my lil RAV4. I mean, it was honey's car when we were dating and it was our only car until we moved to Parker. It's got a lot of memories in it.
Anyways, even this was a stretch for me. But a post is a post and we'll just call this good.
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