sunday primary program

I decided to go easy on myself and have zero showers/baths before church on sunday so we could for sure make it to church early for the primary program.  it left a bit of playtime for the kids.

the weather turned to winter all of a sudden and we've been just freezing around here.

this feisty kid cracks me up.

Brady's Sunday school teacher gave the kids a chart last week to fill in.  it had the days of the week on the left and morning/night on the top and the kids were to color in a block each time they said they're personal prayer.  Brady took this VERY seriously and only missed one morning (and asked me a million times in the days that followed if he could say an extra prayer to make up for that day... he was afraid he wouldn't get the promised treat from his teacher if every block wasn't filled in).  as we were pulling out of the driveway for church, I remembered the chart (by sheer miracle) and Brady ran in to get it.  turns out, he was the only kid in his class to bring back the chart so he got both of these little cupcake things.  after church, he excitedly ran to Abigail's classroom and said "Abigail! look what we get! because I was the only one that brought back my chart so my teacher gave me both of these so we each get one!"  it was precious.  he is soooo addicted to sweets but somehow still really good at sharing.  I honestly don't understand it because heavens knows, I do NOT share my treats that I get at church.  also, it kind of broke my heart because Abigail never shares back.  last Sunday, she'd gotten a full size Krispy Kreme donut on a plate and Brady asked so sweetly if he could have some.  nope.  not a single crumb.  so double nice of Brady to not hold a grudge because I totally did and was semi hoping he would hesitate about sharing with Abigail.  also, it was good for Christopher to see because he never believes me that Abigail never shares and Brady pretty much always does.  anyway... that focused little boy did an awesome job with his personal prayers each morning and night and an even more awesome job being selfless and giving of his cupcakes.  he makes me proud.

and both kids did great in the primary program.  and Elizabeth, sitting next to me, did great singing all the words to "choose him again" as well as a number of the other songs.  it was precious.  also, the kids invited the kids that live in the three houses next to us and Braydon and his dad actually came.  Chris was conducting the meeting and saw them in the back and texted me about it (which I actually saw because I'd forgotten to put my phone on silent, whoops) and then he happened to be sitting next to Brady on the stand for the whole program and he pointed Braydon out to Brady and Brady got SOOOO excited.  like stood up and was smiling and waving and being SO cute that a number of people in the congregation were giggling about it.  but seriously, it was adorable.  it made me so happy that they came to support him and that Brady got to see that.

Christopher bought himself a box of corn flakes yesterday morning when he stopped by Walmart to pick up French bread on the way to the hillier's to make French toast for our breakfast.  pouring himself a bowl tonight, I saw him pull out something and was all "oh, yeah, sometimes there are burnt pieces."  then he told me... nope... not burnt and not a corn flake.  it was literally a piece of shredded rubber.  don't worry, he still ate the cereal and we still have that box in our cabinet.  but, if you hear of a giant corn flakes recall over shredded rubber, let me know.  I'd love to know if this is a regular occurrence right now or what.

real stretchy.

my sweet baby.

Christopher knows I drink a lot of milk (as does anyone that knows me even just a little bit) but was so disturbed when he saw how much milk was gone from this gallon.  I think he normally just doesn't really notice how much milk I drink but he did this time because he'd just gotten a fresh gallon from the garage for his bowl of corn flakes and rubber.  checking the time stamps on my phone... he brought the milk in at 8:45 and this was what it looked like at 9:59.  it wasn't completely me because he did have that bowl of cereal.  but seriously, I just get so thirsty at night.

and I still had more after that.  I typically average about a gallon a day but when I'm nursing, it's not uncommon to finish a gallon in less than 24 hours.  I wish I liked water this much.

Is it summer yet?

Every day she asks if we can go to the pool and the beach. Not yet sweet girl. It was five degrees this morning and the ground is still covered in snow. But I promise, summer really will come. Eventually.

butternut squash soup and random thoughts

i'm too tired to post pictures or stories or anything else that requires a brain.  but i'm also too ummm i don't know the word, to go to sleep because my christopher is out of town again and i always procrastinate going to sleep when he's out of town.  getting in bed?  i do that the first chance i get.  actually closing my computer and falling asleep?  i procrastinate as much as humanly possible.

anyways, i got this butternut squash that costco has and it's awesome because it's already prepped for you (click this link to read someone else's rave about it) and realized i should have used it ummm, a few days ago.  i'm not a stickler for things like that (i inherited that from my dad... my mother would have probably tossed this out) so i took it as a challenge to make a dinner out of it using only what i had on hand (we got snow last night and i pretty much never go out that first day of snow... because parking lots are still being cleared and really it's just kind of a pain) and it turned out to be much easier than anticipated!

i googled "allrecipes butternut squash" and checked out a few options before picking the most appealing (that means easiest) recipe.  it was so simple and foolproof and so delicious and only dirtied one pot (that's huge in my book) that i'm posting about it here for when i am looking for dinner ideas.  anyways, it is this butternut squash soup recipe and you should make it.  especially if your "i just can't get full off of soup" husband is out of town.

here's how i did it:

i melted a square of butter (i'm not big on measuring but it was probably the correct amount) and used it to cook the onions (i chopped up a whole onion... but i love onion and it was on the small side) while i turned on winnie the pooh on dvr for my precious two year old because the tv remote decided to act up on the day i was parenting alone, leaving no access to our awesome thomas the train dvd collection. should you be in this situation, periodically run back to the kitchen to make sure your onions don't burn.  (hint: they won't... because they're swimming in such a glorious amount of butter)  after you get the show set up, dump in your squash (don't forget to recycle the container!), water (i only used two cups instead of three), four chicken boullion cubes, pepper, marjoram (this was my first time ever cooking with it... i know that for sure because i had to open the seal on it), and let it all hang out and boil for a while... at least 20 minutes... stirring periodically while you scavenge your kitchen for stuff to snack on.  instead of dirtying a bunch of dishes and a food processor/blender, i got out my hand mixer and those beaters did just fine and left some nice small chunks of squash while making a perfectly desirable consistency for the soup.  the recipe calls for two full packages of cream cheese but i thought that was excessive because that stuff is expensive.  so i just put in what was left of the one we had opened (maybe 3 ounces?) and it was wonderful.  although that didn't stop me from adding straight up cream to my bowl. the costco HALF GALLON of cream is now a regular staple purchase for me.  it's so cheap and so sinfully delicious i just can't help myself.  seriously... i catch myself daydreaming about ways i can use it... like this soup.  also, i'm not a huge fan of oatmeal these days (although i've gone through stages where i ate it three times a day because i was that in love with it) and i've found that pouring a bit of cream on top makes it taste like dessert.  like i found a packet of some sort of flavored instant oatmeal and when i poured that cream on top it was like i was eating a cobbler with ice cream.  i used to think i wanted to lose this baby weight so i could fit into my clothes again but now i've decided that my clothes really aren't that cute and i would prefer to have curves and buy new clothes instead.  i hate shopping for clothes but when i'm eating creme brulee or anything with heavy whipping cream actually, that seems like the least of my worries.  right now food is my therapy.*  and i'm okay with that.

welcome to the brain of the add... that paragraph started as instructions for making soup and ended with my shopping habits and my physically and emotionally unhealthy addiction to cream.

anyways, my head is still a jumble so wish me luck that i can sleep tonight.  and make this soup.

*milk is always my therapy and my drug... like when i drink it, my whole body relaxes and it makes me think that must be what smokers feel like when they finally get their nicotine... so maybe it just makes sense that i've expanded my milk horizon to include straight up cream.

okay, apparently i can't sleep without getting my thoughts out so here we go...

in other news:  baby girl took a nap again today which is fabulous... she actually finished her lunch and declared that she was all done eating and was ready to take a nap (it was way before her nap time but i just went with it).  what is not fabulous is that she's woke up at 6:15 this morning.  two times in the past two weeks, she's woken up during the night (once at 11pm and once at 1am) and frequently she's been waking up early (that means anything before 9am) although never at 6:15 before!)  luckily i gave her a binky and she was okay to hang out and read books for an hour before i got up with brady and came back to get her out of her crib.  anyone have any ideas what this could be?  is it just a new phase?  or is it because she's not quite done with her molars coming in yet?  kids are mysterious.  also, having both kids awake for the day at 7:15 made this feel like the longest day ever.  it wasn't bad, it just felt like it should always be four hours ahead of what it actually was.  maybe more.  this morning actually kind of feels like it was yesterday morning... it seems just that long ago.  that's a long day.

my electric blanket on my bed is awesome all the time but when my christopher is gone it is especially amazing because it tricks my body into thinking that someone else is in bed with me.  like when i get back in bed after feeding brady in a few hours it will be warm, even though i will be lacking a bed-mate (when was the last time you used that term?  i try to use it as frequently as possible).

nursing makes me super thirsty.  especially at night.  maybe because i'm overheating from my electric blanket but we'll just never know.  since i don't drink water, i keep milk on my nightstand.  it's not unusual for me to drink 30 - 35 ounces between midnight and 7am.  i am well hydrated.  although we already knew that because i'm drinking at least a gallon every 24 hours.  can i say again how wonderful it would be if i could tolerate water?!  i've done the math... we spend over a thousand dollars on milk each year.  ONE THOUSAND!  like a one with THREE zeros.  it is painful to me.  although i can't think of any other way i could spend $1000 that could possibly bring me more happiness than a few hundred gallons of milk.

brady really is doing so well, i have to keep reminding myself of how bad things were just last month.  gotta keep myself humble.  but seriously, even though i complain that he's a pretty terrible sleeper at night, he's great during the day and fantastic in his carseat.  i don't let him stay awake longer than 55 or 60 minutes at a time and it is perfect for him.  then he naps for a few hours and we repeat.  having a newborn for an hour at a time is completely manageable.  and the fact that he's happy during that time is just icing on the cake.

everything baby girl says is hilarious (do i say this every day?) and although it includes a lot of funny things, most of it is just her sweet baby voice and strange voice intonations (like the "goes in noses?" phrase).  just today i figured out something that i hadn't been able to put my finger on before.  she has somehow developed a southern accent in certain things that she says.  where does this come from?!  also, i'm loving it.  today she also experimented (in the way that she has the confidence of someone who has totally mastered the concept) with phrases using the word remember.  i told her "remember thomas is broken so if you want to watch something you have to watch pooh bear?" and i never heard the end of "remember abigail was crying in the crib because i was all done napping and i wanted to read skippyjonjones?" she was pointing upstairs with her tiny little pointer finger and telling me this elaborate story about what happened when she woke up from nap today.  and everything started with "remember."

okay, i really need to go to sleep... especially if brady's night is anything like last night...

29 weeks

How far along:  29 weeks  (10.11.12)

Total weight gain/loss: +19.5  

Maternity clothes:  i like them.  although my belly is getting big enough that my shirts all ride up which is kinda awkward.  so even though they're definitely long enough, i have to make sure they're pulled down all the way, lest ALL of the material from the shirt bunch up above my bump and leave me exposed to a draft underneath.

Sleep:  it's not incredible but it's still pretty good.  i've had some weird dreams this week.  

Best moment this week:  i'd have to say that obama throwdown last week was pretty good.  just kidding.  the best this week has got to go to wearing sweats and drinking hot chocolate all of conference weekend and just spending a lot of time with my christopher and baby girl.

Movement:  it's not as often as before... like right now i'm sitting down but he's just kicking, not going crazy.  last night i was in bed really early though and killing time online until i got tired enough to fall asleep and HOLY COW it's like he wanted to get the heck out of there.  so violent and painful!  especially super low.  it makes me squirm now just thinking about it.  it was so intense and it lasted forever.  yikes baby boy... calm down!!!  also, when my stomach gets hard and lopsided it is still 100% always on the right side that my bulge appears.  i soooo wish i could see inside my belly to watch what goes on in there!

Food cravings:  oh heavens the moment i've been waiting for has finally arrived!!!  i finally found egg nog at walmart this week and after several months of craving it (pregnancy cravings for strictly seasonal items is mighty inconvenient), i've gotta say that it really really really hit the spot!  now if only it wasn't so expensive and so fattening!  i'm thinking as long as i've got egg nog in my fridge, i'll have no problem at all packing on the pounds this last trimester.  other than that, i really enjoy food while i'm eating it but it's not like i'm thinking about it all the time.  or if i am, i want it right now.  like right now i could really go for a grilled chicken pasta of sorts with a creamy sauce (lemon, garlic, pesto... who cares!) but i'm too lazy to make it so i'll probably just end up ignoring it until i want something easier like a banana with nutella or something.  sweets are still awesome though.  cookies especially.  two times this week i had my homemade version of cafe rio pork salad and it was to die for.  mine was twice as big as my christopher's and i ate it all.  even after his "holy cow, are you really going to eat all of that?!" comment.  i'm glad i don't get offended by his almost-fat-joke-quality-comments.

Gender:  BOY!  i keep seeing boys playing together when i take abigail to the playground and ummm... they really don't make me excited to have a boy.  why are boys so rough and crude?!  and why do they bully each other even when they're friends and they're just playing?!  don't get me wrong, i've always known i wanted a boy (two actually.  and three girls too... just since we're taking requests here) but the actual logistics of raising one are not as pleasant to me.  crossing my fingers this kid is sweet.  and that he'll be surrounded by equally sweet little boy friends.  the more i see of boys age 4-7 (or actually 4 til whenever they get married), the more hesitant i am.  wish me luck.

What I miss:  definitely is that abigail can't comfortably fit on my lap.  i really really really miss this.  she can sit on my lap but she's just so far away and it's awkward and really i just feel like i can't get a good close snuggle with this giant bump in the way.
Milestones:   this is my last week before hitting the big three zero.  things are going fast!  my wonderful mother is even buying her ticket out here for when this little baby is born.  i asked her if five months was two long to stay.  i really love my mom.  add "my mother" to that list of what i miss.  even though it's not pregnancy related at all...

Theme: the week of it's cold so i must be getting closer!  this week it got really cold... like all day saturday it was 34 degrees and last friday it even snowed!  and we got flurries saturday too.  since this'll be a christmas baby, i judge how close i am based on the weather.  hot = baby is far away.  cold = we're getting closer to meeting this little bundle!
Extra:  i've been mostly happy this week.  which is excellent since my christopher has been traveling more and baby girl took a terrible turn for the worse.  the weather has been nice though and i've been staying busy with friends and playdates and errands and cleaning and stuff.  i keep losing my temper with baby girl but not that i get so upset i'm crying.  i feel bad for baby girl that i lose my temper and yell so much because i used to NEVER do that.  like i looked it up last night and i had it written down.  the first time i lost my temper and yelled at her was mid april, about a week before i got a positive pregnancy test.  hopefully soon i can go back to being a better mom again.  this weighs on my conscience something fierce.  it is really necessary to yell "it already has peanut butter on it!!!" to a cranky crying two year old?  probably not but it didn't stop me last night.  there is nothing that can truly compare you for "mom guilt."  the guilt you feel yelling at your child and the guilt you feel eating fistfuls of candy corn while pregnant.  okay... moving on... this is making me too sad.

i don't know that i've ever experienced restless leg syndrome but christopher has described it to me countless times because he experiences far too often.  anyways, my back has been aching some lately and two nights ago it was like i had restless leg syndrome in my lower back.  like a creepy crawly unsettled sort of feeling.  i tried to have christopher massage it out but he was doing a crappy job because he was half asleep and anxious not to be awake anymore (with good reason... he needed to wake up at 3am to go to wyoming so he knew he would only be getting a few hours of sleep) and it was so uncomfortable.  weirdest feeling ever.
i got the inevitable and long awaited "fat talk" from my sweet grandmother.  i called papa on saturday to wish him happy birthday and talked to grandmother after for a little bit too.  of course she asked how we were all doing and how pregnancy was going and not so casually asked/commented "you're not gaining a lot of weight are you?" ha.  i assured her that it was healthy to gain weight and that my weight gain was right on track with what the doctor ordered.  she just kept commenting though "you don't want a big baby.  so and so had a big baby.  over 8 lbs."  to which i told her that was a good healthy size and that abigail was also over 8 lbs and blah blah blah.  i wouldn't say i was teasing her but it was kinda fun to tell her that my doctor asked that i try to gain at least 30 lbs.  she audibly gasped when i told her that.  she also told me that it's really hard to lose the weight after (i didn't have a problem with it at all... it just took five months to disappear) and that i should be careful not to gain it in the first place.  oh granny, you're so precious.  somehow both of my grandmothers ended up being terribly prejudice against fat and fat people.  for granny this is especially ironic because she makes you feel like hansel and gretel any time you visit.  constantly trying to get you to eat more.  "you need a good healthy serving of chicken!"  yes, granny.  because a large portion of seconds of fried chicken is definitely "healthy."  she cracks me up.

i'm still eating eggs for breakfast every morning and drinking a lot of milk.  i went to costco and picked up eight gallons of milk and five dozen eggs.  among other things.  like flax seed.  i decided that consuming flax seed while i'm pregnant will reduce my "mom guilt" so if you have excellent recipes or ideas for incorporating flax seed... send 'em my way!

and now it's winter

i posted yesterday about what a gorgeous fall day it was.  and then last night it snowed.  baby girl slept in super late (she has been waking up between 8 and 9 for the last two weeks though!) so i didn't get out of bed in time to see it.  there was a little ice still left in the shade of my front yard but mostly i just went off of pictures that my friends posted on facebook of their front yards (tarin, yours was excellent!).  it's been in the 30's all day so to celebrate, baby girl anld i have stayed in our pj's (well, sweats for me) all day and hanging around the house.

when i woke up, our house was 60 degrees.  sadly, i still haven't turned on the heat yet.  because i am stubborn.  and cheap.  but it was freezing when i got out of bed this morning.  and when i went upstairs to get baby out of her crib... well, she was naked except that she kept her diaper on.  since she was in footie pj's for the first time in 6+ months, i guess she thought it'd be fun to unzip them and take them off.

how appropriate that last night i deemed it cold enough for baby to wear fleece footies (instead of her normal cotton, 2 piece pj's) and chose the one with snowmen on it.  because i'm sure she just felt the excitement in her bones that she got to ring in our first snow while wearing her snowman pj's.

we checked out a book from the library earlier this week (if i'm honest, we have about 45 items checked out from the library - just kidding it's exactly 50... i got curious and just checked online) called "white" and it tells a story and highlights things that are white (mittens, snow, bunny, milk, marshmallows, ice) as it tells about two kids and their step dad going ice skating and making hot chocolate.  well, baby girl is really in to telling me that marshmallows are white.  clouds are white.  snow is white.  and on and on.  at least i know she's learning from it, right?

i think it might be time to break out our electric blanket.  my honey groaned last night when i told him that but i think it's just because he knows i love that thing almost as much as i love him and baby girl.  and milk.  "milk is white."

and another simple video

here's yet another random and pointless video of a typical snipit from life around here.  my "whoa!" at the beginning of the video is because that watering can was super full and baby girl just heaved it up and started walking with it.  i underestimated my little child's muscle power.  but now i know.

and at the end of the video when she's pointing to honey watering the lawn, she's saying "that's daddy's milk."  meaning that chris is using the hose to water the lawn.  i know it's typical for toddlers to generalize when they label something, but count on my child to use to the term "milk" to describe ALL liquid.  we're working on it.  

just like how we're working on on the "cheese" situation.  "cheese" can describe any cheese (cheddar, mozzarella, provolone, muenster, colby jack, blends, you name it) shredded, sliced, or spreadable.  normally the confusion is solved by just standing by the cheese drawer and showing her all the options so that she can tell me which type she wants.  but it has gotten trickier.  because over the last several weeks, baby girl has decided that "cheese" also stands for butter (which i found out today that she likes to eat plain... thinly sliced.  this really is my child), cream cheese (also eaten plain... cut in cubes or slices), and sour cream (eated plain... spoonful by enormous spoonful).  sour cream is actually baby girl's favorite food right now.  she never refuses it and never leaves any on her tray.  we are currently buying the full fat sour cream in the 3 lb tubs at costco and going through them easily.  between the two of us for dinner, we probably went through two cups of sour cream.  one cup for baby, one for me.  

life is good with sour cream.  and with baby girl.

why am i still awake?

well it's because my honey is out of town and i hate going to sleep without him.  so i procrastinate going to sleep.  to help me do that, i edited pictures from july (with the exception of the first half from the beach and atlanta and baby's birthday party) and posted them on facebook.  i also killed time doing a number of other mindless things online before i went into a daze about how much i'm obsessed with my child and how i am doing a terrible job of recording the little things.  like how she got her SIXTH tooth right after she turned one.  she got her bottom two and then her top two and then the top one to the (my) left and now the one on the right!  yikes that's a lot of teeth.  my new bff kirstyn has a little girl six months older than baby.  kirstyn's kid has at least 14 teeth and wears a size 6 shoe!  will my baby grow 8 teeth and 4 shoe sizes in the next six months?!?!  i am so not ready for this.

today i woke up early to go to the dmv to get a colorado license.  which i never did the last time i lived here.  y'know how i hate the post office with all my heart?  well i hate the dmv like i hate the post office, although because colorado is so wonderful, i really haven't had a terrible experience with either of those yet in this state.  but that doesn't mean they're not evil.  anyways, the dmv is dmb.  i mean dumb.

so i rewarded myself with chick fil a for breakfast.  i got the chicken minis for the first time.  verdict: not as good as the regular chicken biscuit.  but you have to try new things just in case it could be better.  like the time i tried a chili slaw dog at the varisty and i'll never go back to just a regular chili dog.  oh my goodness i could totally go for some onion rings right now.  what i wouldn't give to be able to eat at the varisty more than 2 times a year...

so after we picked up breakfast we headed to the park to play with new bff kirstyn and another girl in our ward.  we headed home for lunch and naptime.  for the both of us.  then we met up with kirstyn again at the outlets.  i live ten miles and seven right turns from the outlets.  literally all i make it right turns to get there.  i was thinking about it on my way home and i decided it was pretty cool.  i got a $5 dress for baby for next summer and two tops for me from banana.

we each had a fabulous dinner, baby went to bed, and then i spent the next fifty hours being lonely and avoiding sleep.

ps- my kid is getting a little too attached to sleeping with a binky.  i know i can blame it on teething but i still don't like it.  and when on earth with this oral stage fade?!?!  we have about fifty near death experiences a day with all of the inedible objects and choking hazards she tries to eat.  i need to be able to relax... this is taking years off my life.

pps- i started giving baby whole milk a few weeks ago and she absolutely loves it but she won't chug it out of a sippy cup.  any ideas on how to get her to drink more throughout the day without having it be a "grazing" sort of thing?

let there be light

we should be sleeping right now.

many months ago when our refrigerator light went out i thought to myself how incredibly annoying that was and how was i to possible endure such a thing for one more second. i resolved to put in a fix it request and kept forgetting. sometime back in february/march i renewed my resolve. well, may came around and i decided it was just time to get it done. i took five minutes and submitted it online.

today, i put my baby down for her morning nap at 10. she wasn't too tired so she didn't fall asleep til 10:20. i may have fallen asleep at 10:30. at 11:15 there is someone frantically trying to bang the door down possibly to announce the british are coming or that the second coming is there. something major must be coming with that kind of knock.

nope, i tiptoe downstairs as the repair guy has let himself in. "oh, sorry" he tells me, probably realizing there is a sleeping baby upstairs. as i turn around (knowing the inevitable) baby starts to cry. of course. that's why i'm already on my way to her room. i had barely gotten her out of her crib when i heard the front door slam again. dude, if you're gonna be that fast repairing a fridge light, just get in and out. don't bother knocking.

this is not a current picture.  i'm sure it's about as old as my baby.  but don't let that bother you.  my fridge looks like this pretty much all the time if i can help it.  we don't run low.

so there you go. we have light. and i am ready for my day of rest.