butternut squash soup and random thoughts

i'm too tired to post pictures or stories or anything else that requires a brain.  but i'm also too ummm i don't know the word, to go to sleep because my christopher is out of town again and i always procrastinate going to sleep when he's out of town.  getting in bed?  i do that the first chance i get.  actually closing my computer and falling asleep?  i procrastinate as much as humanly possible.

anyways, i got this butternut squash that costco has and it's awesome because it's already prepped for you (click this link to read someone else's rave about it) and realized i should have used it ummm, a few days ago.  i'm not a stickler for things like that (i inherited that from my dad... my mother would have probably tossed this out) so i took it as a challenge to make a dinner out of it using only what i had on hand (we got snow last night and i pretty much never go out that first day of snow... because parking lots are still being cleared and really it's just kind of a pain) and it turned out to be much easier than anticipated!

i googled "allrecipes butternut squash" and checked out a few options before picking the most appealing (that means easiest) recipe.  it was so simple and foolproof and so delicious and only dirtied one pot (that's huge in my book) that i'm posting about it here for when i am looking for dinner ideas.  anyways, it is this butternut squash soup recipe and you should make it.  especially if your "i just can't get full off of soup" husband is out of town.

here's how i did it:

i melted a square of butter (i'm not big on measuring but it was probably the correct amount) and used it to cook the onions (i chopped up a whole onion... but i love onion and it was on the small side) while i turned on winnie the pooh on dvr for my precious two year old because the tv remote decided to act up on the day i was parenting alone, leaving no access to our awesome thomas the train dvd collection. should you be in this situation, periodically run back to the kitchen to make sure your onions don't burn.  (hint: they won't... because they're swimming in such a glorious amount of butter)  after you get the show set up, dump in your squash (don't forget to recycle the container!), water (i only used two cups instead of three), four chicken boullion cubes, pepper, marjoram (this was my first time ever cooking with it... i know that for sure because i had to open the seal on it), and let it all hang out and boil for a while... at least 20 minutes... stirring periodically while you scavenge your kitchen for stuff to snack on.  instead of dirtying a bunch of dishes and a food processor/blender, i got out my hand mixer and those beaters did just fine and left some nice small chunks of squash while making a perfectly desirable consistency for the soup.  the recipe calls for two full packages of cream cheese but i thought that was excessive because that stuff is expensive.  so i just put in what was left of the one we had opened (maybe 3 ounces?) and it was wonderful.  although that didn't stop me from adding straight up cream to my bowl. the costco HALF GALLON of cream is now a regular staple purchase for me.  it's so cheap and so sinfully delicious i just can't help myself.  seriously... i catch myself daydreaming about ways i can use it... like this soup.  also, i'm not a huge fan of oatmeal these days (although i've gone through stages where i ate it three times a day because i was that in love with it) and i've found that pouring a bit of cream on top makes it taste like dessert.  like i found a packet of some sort of flavored instant oatmeal and when i poured that cream on top it was like i was eating a cobbler with ice cream.  i used to think i wanted to lose this baby weight so i could fit into my clothes again but now i've decided that my clothes really aren't that cute and i would prefer to have curves and buy new clothes instead.  i hate shopping for clothes but when i'm eating creme brulee or anything with heavy whipping cream actually, that seems like the least of my worries.  right now food is my therapy.*  and i'm okay with that.

welcome to the brain of the add... that paragraph started as instructions for making soup and ended with my shopping habits and my physically and emotionally unhealthy addiction to cream.

anyways, my head is still a jumble so wish me luck that i can sleep tonight.  and make this soup.

*milk is always my therapy and my drug... like when i drink it, my whole body relaxes and it makes me think that must be what smokers feel like when they finally get their nicotine... so maybe it just makes sense that i've expanded my milk horizon to include straight up cream.

okay, apparently i can't sleep without getting my thoughts out so here we go...

in other news:  baby girl took a nap again today which is fabulous... she actually finished her lunch and declared that she was all done eating and was ready to take a nap (it was way before her nap time but i just went with it).  what is not fabulous is that she's woke up at 6:15 this morning.  two times in the past two weeks, she's woken up during the night (once at 11pm and once at 1am) and frequently she's been waking up early (that means anything before 9am) although never at 6:15 before!)  luckily i gave her a binky and she was okay to hang out and read books for an hour before i got up with brady and came back to get her out of her crib.  anyone have any ideas what this could be?  is it just a new phase?  or is it because she's not quite done with her molars coming in yet?  kids are mysterious.  also, having both kids awake for the day at 7:15 made this feel like the longest day ever.  it wasn't bad, it just felt like it should always be four hours ahead of what it actually was.  maybe more.  this morning actually kind of feels like it was yesterday morning... it seems just that long ago.  that's a long day.

my electric blanket on my bed is awesome all the time but when my christopher is gone it is especially amazing because it tricks my body into thinking that someone else is in bed with me.  like when i get back in bed after feeding brady in a few hours it will be warm, even though i will be lacking a bed-mate (when was the last time you used that term?  i try to use it as frequently as possible).

nursing makes me super thirsty.  especially at night.  maybe because i'm overheating from my electric blanket but we'll just never know.  since i don't drink water, i keep milk on my nightstand.  it's not unusual for me to drink 30 - 35 ounces between midnight and 7am.  i am well hydrated.  although we already knew that because i'm drinking at least a gallon every 24 hours.  can i say again how wonderful it would be if i could tolerate water?!  i've done the math... we spend over a thousand dollars on milk each year.  ONE THOUSAND!  like a one with THREE zeros.  it is painful to me.  although i can't think of any other way i could spend $1000 that could possibly bring me more happiness than a few hundred gallons of milk.

brady really is doing so well, i have to keep reminding myself of how bad things were just last month.  gotta keep myself humble.  but seriously, even though i complain that he's a pretty terrible sleeper at night, he's great during the day and fantastic in his carseat.  i don't let him stay awake longer than 55 or 60 minutes at a time and it is perfect for him.  then he naps for a few hours and we repeat.  having a newborn for an hour at a time is completely manageable.  and the fact that he's happy during that time is just icing on the cake.

everything baby girl says is hilarious (do i say this every day?) and although it includes a lot of funny things, most of it is just her sweet baby voice and strange voice intonations (like the "goes in noses?" phrase).  just today i figured out something that i hadn't been able to put my finger on before.  she has somehow developed a southern accent in certain things that she says.  where does this come from?!  also, i'm loving it.  today she also experimented (in the way that she has the confidence of someone who has totally mastered the concept) with phrases using the word remember.  i told her "remember thomas is broken so if you want to watch something you have to watch pooh bear?" and i never heard the end of "remember abigail was crying in the crib because i was all done napping and i wanted to read skippyjonjones?" she was pointing upstairs with her tiny little pointer finger and telling me this elaborate story about what happened when she woke up from nap today.  and everything started with "remember."

okay, i really need to go to sleep... especially if brady's night is anything like last night...

nightly news

the thoughts swarming in my head

my honey has been traveling a lot lately.  way too much for my liking.  like every week... sometimes days at a time.  it has given me more appreciation for how much i need him.  i don't feel like i "needed" him as a parent until brady came along.  now i need him.  i need him to be home so i don't have to take two kids to young women with me.  i need him to listen to my day.  i need him to do the dishes that have piled up and pour a bowl of cereal for baby girl.  and i need him to just physically be there next to me.  having brady has brought us closer.

my next door neighbors that i've always been more than mildly obsessed with?  know who i'm talking about?  the ones in our ward where the husband saved my life that one time and the wife has gladly given/loaned me sugar, ketchup, cream of tartar, a bundt pan, and even $5 (yes, i showed up on their doorstep on a friday night to borrow cash so i could attend a local middle school play... why doesn't everywhere take credit card?!  like garage sales too), and the daughter that was my beehive president and is more mature than i will ever be.  and their dog, duke, that passed away last summer... i almost cried when that happened.  well, they moved.  to utah.  it just happened last week and i'm not even kidding that i've been working my way through the five stages of grief.  i'm currently in the "depression" stage and i'll let you know when i get to "acceptance" if that day ever comes.  unfortunately i'm somewhat confident it never will.  i haven't met our new neighbors yet although i have full intentions of taking over a plate of rice krispie treats (who doesn't love those?!) once it stops snowing.  and i'll give them the copy of their house key that i have.  i hope that's not awkward.

i'm compiling a list of quotes from abigail.  her speaking skills are awesome and so so cute.  and so are her mannerisms and everything else about her.  for years and years i have said that two is my favorite age.  baby girl just confirms that.  two is magical.  i'm nervous for three though... i've never been a fan of the threes.  but for the next few months, you better believe i'm going to soak up baby girl being two.  i thought i enjoyed her as a baby but honestly that was nothing.  she just keeps getting better with age.

i need to write a two month post for brady.  this will be difficult because i am still trying to figure out who the heck he is.  there has got to be a rhyme and reason to him, right?!  also, let's have a group fast that he will start sleeping longer stretches at night.  because FOR THE LOVE. BRADY!  the idea is that your nighttime sleep improves with age!  you are two months old... abigail was sleeping 12-13 hours a night at this point.  every. single. night.  i know you've got reflux but work with me here... i'm begging you.

how did i ever live with out my iphone?  seriously seriously seriously.  it is worth every single penny.

so glad the hockey lockout is over.  i really do love that sport.  i love watching games with my honey.  and it's only been a few weeks but my fantasy hockey team is currently undefeated.  and there are 14 people in the league.  call us a power couple but honey is actually the only other undefeated team in the league.  it's pretty cool.  and yes, i realize how ridiculous i sound right now.

i spend my mornings and my days being so exhausted and then when night time comes, i have such a hard time clearing my head so i can fall asleep.  that does not serve me well in my already sleep deprived state.

i haven't been cooking much at all lately.  i have still been eating cheese eggs on toast once a day (sometimes breakfast but sometimes lunch or dinner) and other than that, my diet is mostly chocolates, creme brulee (i ran out yesterday but mark my words i'll make another batch!), and chocolate cookies from one of honey's clients.  i have never been a healthy eater but i can honestly not recall the last time i've eaten so much sugar on a daily basis.  i'm trying not to think about it.  anyone want to come cook for me?  i would gladly trade all of the chocolate in the world for a pan of lasagna.  right now, it's all about convenience.

i used to be concerned about huge world problems... like people living in third world countries, problems close to home... homeless people in atlanta, and keeping up with family and friends (i used to actually be social).  moving to parker, i started living in a bubble and while i thought about homeless people, my life was enough removed that it didn't stress me out on a daily basis (it's terrible to say but i hate that i care so much).  so my concerns turned to my calling, being a good mom, keeping in touch with close family and friends, being healthy, keeping a clean home, recycling and not using too much gas/electricity/water, and other random stuff like that.  well brady has narrowed things down even more and now i pretty much just focus on what happens within the walls of my own home.  every day i wake up and i try to be a good mom, be a good wife, and keep my house clean (it's actually impossible for me to be happy or a good wife/mother if my house is cluttered or dirty so really these are interlocked).  i have had to let go (at least for the time being) when it comes to keeping in touch with people (i have GOT to start doing better at this... especially calling my grandparents), being healthy (christopher doesn't even bother asking what's for dinner anymore.  he just comes home and pours himself a bowl of cereal and makes himself a quesadilla.), trying to do a good job at my calling (i just try to keep up with what is required), and a million other things.  i'm still stressing on a daily basis about homeless people but i try to channel that energy to being a good mom.  i'm taking a lesson from president hinckley... my mantra as of late has been, "the greatest work you will ever do will be within the walls of your own home."  and i'm taking it day by day.

It's sure crazy over here

I forgot how much newborns sleep! Brady wakes up for like five minutes to chug some milk and then it's back to sleep.

Today I played with my friend rach. We haven't lived in the same place since high school but she happened to be in Denver visiting her sister and stopped by for a bit today. And so we hung out for a much needed four hours or so. I need to be better at keeping in touch with people.

I miss baby girl. I know she's around but I never get to do normal things with her because I'm busy with Brady but mostly because I'm not allowed to lift her yet. So I can't clean her up after meals or put her down/get her up from nap. Honestly, I haven't even changed her diaper one single time since Brady was born. Okay I gotta stop now. This is gonna make me cry.

My honey had church meetings this morning, came home to get Abigail dressed and fed, took her to church, brought her home and got her fed and in bed for a nap, went back to church to help with tithing settlement, and still had the energy after dinner tonight to say "honey, do you want me to watch the kids so you can take a nap right now?" So he somehow managed not to push Abigail off a cliff (she was all sorts of annoyingly testing our patience tonight) and keep Brady asleep even when he would wake up wanting to eat (don't worry I'd fed him riiiight before I took a nap and his stomach was pretty stocked up) and do the dishes and clean the kitchen. Last time with baby he was so sleep deprived and not much help. This time I let him sleep (in the guest room) so he's rested and he lets me nap so I'm rested. We're doing this newborn thing way better the second time around. He's been an all star husband and it's only day five. Or six. Who's counting?!

I can't believe tomorrow is Christmas Eve. I feel like it snuck up on me and there's still so much stuff I had wanted to do! Maybe I'll keep celebrating through the rest of the week. Who's gonna stop me anyways?!

Baby girl loves Brady. It melts my hearts when she comes running to see him or asks if she can touch him before gentlest letting his back or head. And she gives him the sweetest kisses before nap and bed. And how cute is it when she holds up two trains and says, "Brady, this one's Thomas and this one's diesel." That may be my favorite. Although it gets me every time she refers to Brady as "this one" or "this guy." What's this guys name? And then pointing to his head saying this ones name's Brady. Today she said "Brady is crying" but I thought she said "baby" so I said "yeah the baby is crying" and she immediately responded, "Baby's name is Brady." Ohhhh okay. Thanks baby girl. Her excitement for him is positively adorable.

I cooked dinner to tonight! Not because we don't have enough food. Goodness knows our fridge is stocked with the generosity of others. But because I took chicken out of the freezer to thaw before Brady was born and then Christopher ended up not needing dinner that night or so something. And then I had a baby and realized I needed to cook that chicken before it got questionable. I made toasted almond chicken one handed while nursing a baby and I feel pretty accomplished about that!

I am so happy not to be pregnancy depressed anymore. Life is really really good.

ps- excuse the auto correct errors... it's a phone post.

breathe easy and thoughts in general

today's "favorite product of the day" award goes out to....

for the past few days, brady has been pretty congested.  and last night and today it was so bad he was having trouble nursing which made for a pretty sleepless night for me (i didn't even put my head on the pillow until close to 5 am) because he would only eat for two minutes at a time before giving up, falling asleep, and then deciding ten minutes later that he'd like to try that eating thing again.  and today the wheezing continued.  not only did the noisy breathing sound so sad and irritated my ocd, but it just seemed like it was getting worse and like his breathing was becoming labored.  

luckily though, today we had our "nurse come to your home" appointment and i wrote down my long list of questions.  when we got to the "my baby has sticky boogers and the bulb suction nose sucker isn't working" question, the nurse suggested these little saline drops.  "just put a few drops in his nose and it'll loosen things up and make him sneeze and you can suction everything out!" sounded too good to be true but later tonight i finally sent my honey to the store again (and laughed in his face at the "man, you keep sending me out to do all this stuff for you!" comments... even though he has been nice to take my car in to get the tires rotated and get a whole list of stuff at walmart today alone) for these little drops.  after several things from this afternoon's walmart trip not being correct (it's really hard to have someone else do your grocery shopping! -- i want SLICED french bread! the coconut milk is in the asian foods aisle! and i like spicy dijon mustard!) i prepped my honey by showing him the above google images photo of what he was looking for, told him it would be about $3.50, gave him a $1 off coupon for the product, and told him it would be in the baby/infant aisle with formula and diapers and stuff and that he could ask a store employee if he had any questions.  when he came home i asked if it went okay (he had the correct item and the receipt showed me he remembered to use the coupon!) and he mumbled something and said it was a pain to find.  it was?  you were looking in the baby aisle?  "well, not at first"  oh honey honey honey, how is it that i think you're listening to me when in all actuality, the words i'm saying never enter your ears?!  like yesterday when i asked him to bring me the baby timer and told him it was either in my purse or somewhere in the kitchen.  he came back a minute later telling me he couldn't find it and asking where he should look for it.  i was confused because i HAD told him where to look but by that time i was already on my way to the kitchen with my latched on child.  and there was the timer, sitting right at the top of my purse.  does anyone else have this issue with their husband?!  it's not like he's trying to do this because honestly, we both know it would be to his benefit, but what is it that makes husbands not hear half the stuff that comes out of a wife's mouth?!

anyways...  the moral of the story is that 1) my first kid was so easy that i feel like a new mom this time around, 2) my husband is being extremely kind and helpful to me, and 3) nurse home visits are  awesome and it makes me wish i lived in the brady bunch time when doctors always came to your home if you needed them!

remember how i was worried about being a traitor to abigail?  well i totally am...it's definitely happening.  i'm going to not elaborate, and instead give it some more days to hopefully resolve itself.  and in the mean time, i just comfort myself by knowing that she is happy as a clam (although rambunctious and defiant at times!) and could care less that i have another little kid to love and care for and blog about.  and random, but will someone tell her to please stop twirling knots in her hair and then ripping them out?  she's going bald on the back right side of her head and she honestly looks like a little boy who's older sibling used a weed whacker to chop his hair.  she's an adorable little girl but looking at her hair makes my heart hurt.

also, i was worried all through my pregnancy that i would have a difficult baby that cried all the time.  and when brady was born, he spent the first two hours of his life screaming bloody murder while he got examined and bathed and everything else.  this scared me because abigail maybe whimpered for a few seconds during her first bath at the hospital but that was all she cried for the first two weeks.  brady cried more in his first two hours than abigail cried in her first two months combined.  this had me worried.  well, i'm happy to report that he's actually getting much happier as he's had more time to adjust to life.  like, he didn't even fuss when i put all those drops in his nose and suctioned out his little baby boogers (took two seconds and provided instant relief and silent, easy breathing!)  i think that was pretty noble of him.  also, i was worried about taking a long time to learn to love him.  well, it seriously only took a day or two and now i love this kid fiercely.  i keep looking at him and thinking, "you're so perfect, it like you were made for me."  and then i remember... he was.

my running narrative

here are some more pictures and the running narrative of my life.  not my narrative of running.  we all know i don't run.  maybe someday?  i mean, i used to not cook and look at me now!  i'm a certified top chef for sure.

anyways...

first of all i just want to say thank you for all of the kind words i receive each week when i post a baby bump picture.  i don't even care if you're just saying things insincerely just to be nice, i appreciate it.  last pregnancy i was too self conscious.  not necessarily of my body but of my face.  i get pregnancy face and i haaaate it.  know what i mean by pregnancy face?!  there's just something about it that makes you look frumpy and tired and out of it when in all actuality you should look normal.  it's like when you get a cold.  there's just something different.  and then terrible people (you know who they are) stop to ask you if you're okay because you "look tired."  i try to look somewhat presentable when i take a bump shot but it's never great.  but i do keep your compliments in my heart for days like yesterday when i stay at home cleaning and my bump shot looks more like this...

frumpy belly bump, taken 10.5.12 at 28 weeks and 1 day

 yesterday i spent an insane amount of time going through baby girl's clothes and shoes.  stuff that's too big, too small, out of season, etc.  categorizing everything, labeling, and packing it away for future use.  a true testament to how slowly my child grows...

this box contains every article of clothing she has outgrown in her lifetime so far. i even finally packed away that newborn size dress she worn as a shirt this summer!  it's okay, she's only 27 months old.

conference today has been amazing.  for first session i'd have to say that my favorite talks were the first and the last.  although i missed the first part of president uchtdorf's talk because direct tv decided it couldn't work when the sun wasn't shining.

i'm anxious to you tube it and see what i missed!

after morning session was over, honey decided to take baby girl on a little bike ride.  she'd been cooped up inside for 48 hours from the cold weather and my sheer laziness so we thought it was worth it to battle the 34* weather.  she was adorable all bundled up.  good thing she doesn't know yet how to be embarrassed.

paparazzi shot.  maybe she does know how to be ashamed after all.

i can't help it.  i love how her hat's ear flaps push together her cheeks to accentuate the precious moments look. is that what i'm thinking of?

i should have timed how long they were gone but baby girl ran to me in bed bearing gifts of autumn leaves and honey came in with a resounding "IT'S FREEZING OUT THERE!!!"

thanks baby girl.  for tucking those up so nicely under my sweat pants clad bum.

the cheeks!  ps- baby girl was watching elmo and abby yesterday and has told me at least ten times since then that she wants freckles.  me too baby girl but we weren't blessed with those.  oh how the "my body" wish list starts young!

the plus side to flurries outside invading your fall.

second session of conference brought us many words of wisdom... and a package from sawah for little baby boy hillier!

so fun and exciting!!!

john deere!!!

this blanket is perhaps the bounciest blanket i have ever experienced!  all of those squares are like cloud packed pillows.  and the fabric is so soft!  the whole back of it is the bumpy minky and if little baby boy ever thinks about drooling on this i might cry a little.  it's amazing!  thanks sawah!!!  i love you!

month of pictures

except that it's really only like three days of pictures with the first group being a month ago today and the last group being today and the picture in the middle being sometime in between.  apparently i forgot about that camera in my nightstand.  whoops.

soooo flash back to june 8th, 2012 when we were gardening/raking dead leaves from the lawn.

 

we took out the rock pile around our trees and replaced it with grass.  raising little grass seedlings is almost as challenging as raising a child.  although it happens faster.

she stands at the curb and waits for us to come hold her hand so we can cross the street together.  it's precious.

we believe in child labor.

but don't call cps on us... she's okay with it.

ADORES her daddy.

this made me laugh out loud.  she's really got a sense of humor and knows how to be funny and appreciate funny things.

what a good helper.

oh hi there.

 

i'm in love.

i love her little maycock nose and her tiny mouth and her little baby neck and her tiny arms and her wispy baby hair and pretty much every single thing about her i just can't get enough of.

baby running.  she falls down a lot.  constant scrapes on her knees.  although even if it draws blood she probably cries less than half the time.  tougher than i'd be.

 

my handsome husband.

and remember when i wrote about having to cut baby's hair which was really just clipping out a bad knot?  well, this is the picture from it.

too bad it happened again a week later.  crossing my fingers this doesn't become a regular thing...

and then tonight i got out the camera because honey (ps- tonight my honey and i were talking and baby was trying to get our attention and she did.  because eventually we noticed her saying "HOOOONEY!!!  HOOONEY!!!" over and over again.  oh dear.) and baby girl were having such a great time jumping on the bed.  baby girl loves jumping and she's discovered that it's infinitely more fun to jump on beds.  honey piled up our pillows and just started tossing baby on top.  she couldn't get enough of it.

 

 

if you're ever next to baby girl when you hear her say "i jump" then turn around and catch her!  because "i jump" really just means "i trustfall" and it looks just like this.

 other randoms as of late...

baby girl's shoe fetish is still fierce and showing no signs of letting up.  she has taken to wearing shoes all around the house now.  she's not allowed to wear shoes on the bed or our sofas and if she's wearing my shoes or honey's she has to take them off before getting in her highchair because they won't fit through the holes.  sooo, she'll hop on the bed/sofa/whatever, slip off her shoes, drop them on the floor and hang out.  when she climbs off to get milk from the kitchen or something, she sits down, puts her shoes on, and runs off to do whatever before coming back and repeating the process.  today at church my friend danielle was picking up her little boy from nursery and couldn't find his shoes.  she and the nursery leaders were looking all over before they finally found them.  on baby girl's feet.  on any given day at home she'll wear at least seven different pairs of shoes.  and that's just at home.  it's tough to say if she likes babies or shoes more.

baby girl loves the pool.  also called the baby pool but mostly referred to as the baby beach.  she talks about it all day long and constantly requests to go there.  "baby beach?  i want baby beach."  so i say "sorry baby girl, we can't go right now because it's too hot/sunday/nighttime/etc."  and then she proceeds to ask for the pool instead.  good try baby girl but we can't do that either.

baby girl looooves nap time and bed time.  she's also started requesting naps all. the. time.  i normally feed her lunch right before nap so now she thinks that she can ask for a nap after every meal and snack.  so sometimes our days look like this.  wake up and get out of bed.  eat breakfast.  done with breakfast.  "nap?  i want nap."  hmmm.  what to do when your kid is throwing a massive tantrum because you won't let them take a nap at 9:30, 11:30, or any other time of the morning?!  nap time is at 2.  you can have a nap at 1:30 if you're particularly devilish but don't try it.

baby girl's vocabulary is still exploding.  communication with her these days is so easy that it's getting more difficult for me to notice when she says new words and phrases.  tonight she heard the garage door and exclaimed "daddy's home!" as she ran to the door.  it wasn't until my honey walked in that i realized that's the first time she's said that.  normally she'll just say "daddy!" or "there's daddy!" so this was definitely new.  other frequent and useful words include on and off... who would have guessed?!  if she wants to, she'll pick up on new words the first time she hears it like one time when my christopher referred to her little toys/figurines as "guys" when he said "go pick up your guys."  it stuck hardcore.  now it's always "i want guys."  "there's more guys."  and "it's guys' nap" as she lays them all on their backs on the sofa.  when we were eating popcorn several weeks ago she picked up that it was called popcorn and was constantly requesting more pop.  tonight she saw a picture of homemade bagels online (sawah, we were looking at all of your facebook mobile uploads because baby girl saw the picture on my newsfeed of joshua eating and requested to see more baby eat.  and then we scrolled through a million pictures of yours... literally a million) and commented "cake!  that's more cake!" which is pretty impressive because she is very rarely in contact with cake.  on the opposite note.  there are certain things she refuses to say.  she will not say "sorry" "night night" or "thank you."  she still blows a kiss for thank you (her version of the sign language) maybe out of pure laziness?  who knows because although she won't say "thank you" she will say "no thank you" because i've started requiring that.  when i offer her things i prompt her that the answer is either "yes please" or "no thank you" although tonight she started saying "no please" so i guess we still have a ways to go.  she's also randomly said stuff like "excuse me" as she pushed past chris to get through a small space and a million other random things that always surprise me when they happen.  it just blows my mind how many sentence combinations she uses and the number of new words she says every day.

and as somewhat mentioned above... she thinks the only purpose of a laptop is to look at pictures of babies. so we both enjoy spending our time online browsing blogs and facebook albums.  she also thinks the only purpose of a blackberry is to watch clifford.  "i want more woof."  ironically, she's pretty bored with the ipad but maybe that's because we only have random boring free kid apps on there.  any recommendations for FREE apps she might like?  leave a comment and i'll pass them along to my honey.  although it's not suuuper urgent because she only sees it during sacrament at church and she's also fine without it.  today she was an angel and i was smothering her with kisses for that whole first hour.  i love my kid all the time but i really do love her more when she's wonderfully behaved.  and she doesn't care about my cell phone.  rarely she'll request to see baby pictures on my phone but they're so small and i'm so lazy that i normally just say no and she moves on to the next thing.

pregnancy posts will start happening soon.  i need to get on that for my sake because i have so much going on in my head that i need to get out.  i visited my dear friend, used-to-be-pregnant chelsey in the hospital saturday night and it got me so insanely excited to have a baby.  with baby girl, my recovery experience in and out of the hospital with pure absolute misery... my own personal version of hell.  and when i went to visit chelsey she just looked so happy.  she was friends with the nurses, her room was really nice, she was moving around just great, she looked super cute (of course) and happy and it just gave me hope that maybe my experience this time around won't be like my first.  soooo, thank you all for the congratulations and well wishes... we are beyond excited and loving every minute of this thing we call the present.

thoughts on my mind

things have been pretty busy around here and i've got a bunch of stuff i need to post, mainly for liza the food stuff i've been making, but i'm having trouble finding the motivation and brainpower to do so.  so instead, here's a whole bunch of nothingness.

first, i don't know that i've ever purchased anything from pottery barn.  ever.  but i get their catalogs (um, i just tried to spell that catologues... see?  brain power gone) in the mail practically every other day and i love looking at the pictures.  because they're pretty and glossy and they give me inspiration and guidance on certain decorating decisions i'm deliberating (like right now trying to figure out a bed frame and new bedding) and y'know what i'm absolutely loving about their stuff this season?!  that it is all monogrammed with my initials!

$50 bar soap

well, my old initials.  for carrie elise maycock.  i guess now i'm cmh for carrie maycock hillier but whatever.  pottery barn is sporting my old initials and for some reason it's just one of those little things that makes me smile.  cMe all over everything!  check out their monogram shop online and see for yourself.  but don't buy anything.  because it is ridiculously expensive and poor quality.  anyways, it cracks me up.   ps- i want to find something similar to this bedding... i think.

we have a huge master closet but there's not enough room to organize all of our clothes because it's just a rod and a shelf... terribly inefficient.  i dream of one of those super awesome built in closet systems like look like this

and sometimes i find pictures of closet systems looking like this.

and i can't help but laugh at the picture because honestly, who spends hundreds of dollars on a closet dedicated to two dresses, two pairs of shoes, a pair of pants, one blazer, a purse, a box, and a blanket?  not me.  the only time those things should be together alone is in a suitcase.

today we set up the furniture where we want it in the guest room... it's just lacking a mattress.  which it won't have until we can find a king bed/bedding (see above) we like so that we can move our queen bed upstairs.

i have got to be the most indecisive person ever.  our house looks like we just moved in because i can seem to get enough of an opinion on rugs, pillows, art for the walls, or anything else.  i do, however, feel 100% certain that i need chandeliers in my master closet although i'm having trouble convincing my christopher that that is a necessary purchase.

i've had home stuff on my mind lately, can you tell?

lately, i've been a crazy combination of excited and wanting to accomplish things but unmotivated, tired, and overwhelmed as well.  and it's taking a toll on my calling and making me feel really behind/not on top of things but i as i mentioned before, i just can't seem to gather the brainpower to overcome it all.

tonight we were supposed to have a cozy little movie date night after baby went to sleep.  honey redboxed extremely loud and incredibly close and i was excited about it exclaiming "yeay!  i've been wanting to see that!"  well after half a second of it i said, "umm, just kidding, i don't think this is the movie i was thinking of and actually, i think i'll have my laptop out while we watch it so i don't get scared or spooked" which morphed into "actually, if you don't mind, i think i'll just hang out with my computer in bed while you watch the movie because it sounds super creepy."  so we're having a great movie date night... in different rooms.  although i can somewhat hear it and i'm really glad i'm not watching it.

i bought this dress tonight.

honey and i maaay have gotten into a little disagreement about this dress concerning the modesty issue.  it's definitely long enough and not too tight, and contrary to what that picture would have you believe, the front is not revealing (although that could have more to do with my umm body type than anything else).  the issue came up in... THE SLEEVES.  first, i'm going to have to wear it around the house a bit and see if my g's are noticeable through the arm hole (i haaate when the arm holes are too big for my arms) but mainly, my honey is convinced that this dress is sleeveless.  i told him they're cap sleeves (now that i've seen the website description i have a proven source!) but he strongly disagreed and said that if you asked 10 people about this dress, 10 people would say there are no sleeves.  i would LOVE to hear if anyone regards this as sleeveless.  it's cut the exact same as my downeast shirts.  anyways, thoughts?  and don't tell me it's not a good color on me because i got it super marked down and that was the only color available.  so i don't want your thoughts on that part of it, got it?

and now it's time to retrieve my passed out honey from the sofa and go to sleep!

today's commentary, yesterday's pictures

there's not a whole lot to say about today.  it involved conference, a shower (literally- not baby or bridal), cornbread, laundry, straightening up, family bonding, and more conference.  although none of those are in order.

anyways, i took pictures (of course) of stuff that means nothing in particular but they're still on the memory card sooo, here're some randoms from yesterday.  we spent the whole morning from 10:30 to 1:30 at ashley's where baby girl had a blast with elsie and beau.  when we got home, baby girl's feet were a little disgusting with dirt and sand from the backyard - side note: ashley said that built in sandbox they put in was the worst decision of her life and they are taking it out asap.  ha.  - so i stripped her and let her hang out in the kitchen sink for a little while and basically gave her a mini shower with the kitchen faucet sprayer.  she hates baths so although this involved a lot of frantic "all done! all done! all done!" there were actually no tears!  there were also no bath towels but as it turns out, a hand towel is the perfect size for a little baby girl!

and i kinda cracked myself up by wrapping it around her like a grownup.  she wasn't amused at all but was grossly interested in her tevas instead.  which were also thoroughly washed.

 

 

this is what i get for attempting to use a point and shoot in low/no light situations.  sad.

 

 

so on that half naked note, happy conference weekend to you!  

some thoughts about food

this morning for visiting teaching we went out to gotcha yogurt.  one of those self serve yogurt places.  i love that kind so i can get exactly what and how much i want.  what a genius idea.  my base was girl scout samoa ice cream.  delish.

i am rocking out to blasting josh groban - you raise me up - on pandora.  baby is even singing and dancing.  she loves it too.

that time in the evening when i'm supposed to prepare dinner?  my least favorite time of day.  that's right now by the way.  i just texted chris and asked him if he wanted to eat leftovers.  "sure."  i love that guy.

a girl scout just came by my door selling girl scout cookies.  i'm so glad they still go door to door.  i've been holding out for the door to door girls... which is why i haven't bought any from my friends (aka as friends' daughters).  what can i say?  i'm traditional.

i'm also "that neighbor" because i answered the door barefoot in my pink fluffy bathrobe at 5:30 in the evening to do this.  and then had to wait out there like that while the girl ran home to get some change.  she brought back 12 quarters.  ;-)

honey just got home.  his first words?  "honey's wearing her bath robe?"  ha.  second words?  "man, honey's really rocking out in here!"  that time it was a piano pachelbel variation thing.  loved it.

yesterday at walmart i bought 11 bananas thinking that would last us a few days.  we already had our two for yesterday and two for today.  so now we have about three more days of bananas left.

today was such gorgeous weather.  we went to the playground and did slides, swings, and seesaws oh my.  it was wonderful.

i didn't make dinner last night either.  whoops.  i'll do tomorrow for sure.  hold me to it.

down on the farm

this will be short because emmy is sleeping and i'm typing on a keyboard with an extremely loud spacebar.  today baby girl and i picked my hasn't-blogged-in-a-while-sister emmy up from the airport and came straight to the farm (where my precious grandparents live).  we had a grand old time and now they are both fast asleep and looking so very peaceful.

my baby has developed a fear of and hatred for bath time.  any suggestions?  she doesn't like getting her hair washed... and now she's smart enough to know that that comes after the play/splash/rubberduckywatertoys time... so that's not good.  so since she's wised up she now screams all through bath time instead of just at the end.  this has got to be remedied.  she is the problem with having an insanely easy newborn.  things can only get harder.  and they have.  every day is more difficult than the last.  yikes.

my honey went to a hockey game tonight.  he sure knows how to live it up while i'm gone and it kinda makes me a little bit sad.  i need him to mourn and mope my absence.

and sadly, although i took some cute ones, there are no pictures because i'm on my grandparents computer.

goodnight!

it's noteworthy to me

i know there are bigger things that have happened (like halloween), and about 150 pictures from the past week or two that have still yet to be blogged, but it will all have to wait.  because tonight i am loving three things in particular.

1. this kid's eating preferences.  

just the other day someone asked me if she'll eat anything i give her.  the answer?  yes.  but she has to be in the mood for it.  she can go for days hating something and then she'll decide she needs to eat only that thing for her entire meal.  

like how for the past four days she was wanting nothing to do with tomatoes and then this afternoon when i asked her if she wanted tomato (like i have for every meal....) she said "yes" and i was sure it was a fluke.  no fluke.  that gal devoured the entire tomato like a wayward surfer during shark week.  

and today, i was cutting up sweet potatoes and apples to steam (steaming is my very favorite thing these days... how i lived without a steamer for 25 years i'll just never know.  it is a lazy person's dream!) and my child, the begger starts grunting in that pre-meltdown sort of manner.  so i give her a slice of apple.  no go.  i try five more times.  still no go.  i ask her if she wants the sweet potato.  "yes." [signs "please"] and then i explain to her that it's not cooked and she'll have to wait.  wrong answer.  so finally i just give her a chunk of sweet potato.  well, long story short, she happily gnaws on it for the next 20 minutes and screams every time i try to take it away.  seriously kid?  raw sweet potato?

anyways, the other day (one of the many i had her in her bunny costume!) i made her peas and she would not have them.  what'd she want?  the frozen ones straight from the package.  i even tried to fake her out like i was pulling the cooked peas from the package but once she touched it she knew.  only cold, frozen peas would do.  she knew exactly what she wanted.  yikes

oh the little pinchers!

frozen

2. remember when i told you about how my sweet grandmother bitterly betrayed me?

well, like mother like daughter, because yesterday i got this in the mail.  or should i say, abigail hillier got this in the mail.  there is something wrong when my one year old gets more mail than i do.

seriously?  again?

i didn't even get a shout out

3.  have no fear.  the war zone is gone.  my bathroom is back to it's orderly, spartan, everyday state.

and in case you were wondering, i was awake from 3-4am this morning.  my honey woke up early for a 9am business meeting in wyoming.  the best part... he was back by 7.  the less than best part?  he's been passed out on our sofa since 8 pm.  it's a little strange to me how often he's out before our baby.  only a little though.