he's a saint

let me tell you, before Andrew was born, I spent plenty of time stressing about how I would handle four kids.  specifically, how I would be able to handle having four kids at home with me during the summer when two get into trouble 24/7, one is still very much a baby that just gets into everything, and one being a newborn whose personality, no one had a clue about yet. mostly, I was terrified that I might get another Brady-style devil newborn that would never give me a break and test my sanity by never giving me a moment of quiet.

well, I'm happy to report that while the first three are as predicted (except Elizabeth is harder because she has overnight left the baby stage and entered the kid stage and does stuff like go outside with Brady to walk across the street by herself to the neighbor's house to play), Andrew is an absolute angel.  he is a saint through and through.  I mean, it's not that he NEVER cries... but a typical day involves no crying.  maybe a whimper here or there if he's neglected or is having a lot of reflux at the moment, and definitely a hard cry when he's in pain (sometimes from the reflux, but mostly if Elizabeth accidentally hurts him), but typically, nothing.

I lot of my time stressing about having the kids on my own also included stressing about the days that honey would be gone at youth conference.  when he initially told me, I was all "why are they making you go to youth conference?!?!  don't they know we'll have a newborn and I'm going to be taking care of a one month old baby in addition to three other children?! during the summer when no one is in school!" and I wasn't too thrilled about it.  I was mostly scared about it.  I had visions of me staying up all night with a baby that screamed and wouldn't go to sleep.

but, don't even worry about it... I didn't get that baby.  I got Andrew.  he never tries to stay awake at night (although I frequently do because of the overwhelming frequency and noise level of his spitting up/choking/gasping for air/etc. during the night) and instead just eats quickly and is fine to go right back to sleep.

today, for whatever reason (maybe a growth spurt?), he's barely been awake.  I'd have to wake him up to feed him and he would basically just sleep eat and then fully fall back asleep.  or he would doze on and off during his wake time.  or even this evening, I actually got him to stay awake (just laying on my bed) for some awake time while I was tending to the other three with getting us all showered and fed and ready for bed and I just kept forgetting about him or getting distracted or whatever and so he just put himself to sleep.  and then a few hours later, I'd hear him sneeze and remember that I needed to tend to him but then he'd already be back to sleep.  for someone that swaddles religiously, I was mostly just baffled that he was able to sleep without his arms pinned down.  and even though it seemed like he would wake frequently and go back to sleep, I'm not sure if he was actually waking up or if it was just that newborn thing where they seem awake even though they're not.  at one point, I just decided to wake him up and change his diaper so I could feed him and put him to bed.  I changed his diaper and he fell immediately asleep again as I buttoned up his sleeper.  I watched him and waited for him to wake up again but after an hour I gave up.  I did my bed to dream feed him (he took one side and not the other) and just swaddled him and put him in his little travel bed bassinet.  with the exception of me waking him to feed him for ten or fifteen minutes (maybe three times?), he has required no attention from me in the last 15 hours.  I mean, I feel like that's even far easier than he typically is and I like to think that today was a special gift to me from Heavenly Father while my honey was at youth conference.

while Andrew snoozed the whole day away, the rest of us had a pretty good time.  I slept in till almost 9.  the kids got Elizabeth out of bed when she woke up.  I love that they can do that now.  we went outside to play around 10:30 maybe and watched the new neighbors show up at the house across the street.  I'm gonna need to stop calling it "Lucy's house" now.  Lucy and Presley came over to play around 1.  Elizabeth took a nap.  the kids read books, had a coloring contest, and played don't spill the beans... as well as a number of other made up games... until 3:45.  then we all headed outside and they ate quesadillas and snap peas on the driveway and rob and Stephanie came over and joined me (since they're temporarily homeless now), and we hung out in camp chairs on the driveway for a few hours.  at 6:30, I had the kids clean up their stuff and we all headed inside.  four showers later, we were moving slowly but making progress.

somehow I walked up the stairs and they were all just sitting there in silence... reading books.

the great coloring contest

new neighbor boy... about 8 months older than Brady I think?

he likes to blow-dry his hair

I think that's just how it is when you're relying on a 7 year old and 5 year old to do all the stuff you typically would have your husband do.  I showered Elizabeth off with me but then handed her out to Brady instead of honey (since he's not here) and had Brady dry her off.  he was unsuccessful getting a clean diaper on her (Elizabeth had turned into a feisty, disobedient little bugger all of a sudden) but with Abigail's help, they got it done and got her pjs on her too.  I stayed in the shower and told them to get themselves yogurts and some "soft bread " (that grandma sycamore's bread is so delicious) and hoped for the best.  well, it was a bit of a disaster when I got out in that they were all spinning around on the red chair and the table was a mess, but it all got straightened out (with a few strategic threats about going straight up to bed) and they got everything cleaned up.  Elizabeth had a hard time going to bed and kept crying on and off, but I had Abigail and Brady clean up upstairs and go potty and brush teeth by themselves (apparently my theme today was giving them a bunch of new responsibilities to see if they could handle any new things) and Abigail was already passed out in bed by the time I got up there.  Brady asked me a bunch of questions about... well everything... and went to sleep quickly after.

I can't get over Brady's questions.  asking me about if wolves eat people and do wolves come out at night and do they live near us and if they eat us will we come back alive and will we come back alive if another animal eats us and how do we get old and die and then come back alive and not be old anymore because papa was old and died and how will he not be old anymore and how does Santa get down the chimney when it's so small?  and when half of my answers were "well, that's how Heavenly Father made it happen" and "Heavenly Father knows everything" then he had to ask about if grandmas and grandpas and moms and dads know everything too.  he just asked me yesterday if grandmas and grandpas were perfect (when I said something like "well, nobody is perfect") and holy cow, that kid has a question for everything.  also, I have to figure out a good enough answer for everything he asks because I've taught my kids that mom's know everything.  tonight I tried to tell him that I didn't know if wolves like to eat people and he corrected me because "you're a mom so you know things." touché.

so, that's a random stream of my thought process story telling of the day. Abigail is getting new responsibilities since she's seven now, Brady continues to ask tons of intellectually thought provoking questions, Elizabeth says no constantly and delights in being disobedient, and Andrew is a perfect little pet rock that is easily forgotten except for his loud sneezes that remind us all that he's still there. we're all doing okay, thank goodness, and excited to spend some time with honey tomorrow.  I can't believe it's already saturday again.  how on earth did another week happen again so fast?

blows my mind.

wednesday

today was an average wednesday.  it was cold and cloudy and was supposed to snow all day (it didn't) so we stayed in and played and hung out and got stuff done.

i slept til almost 9 and had a bowl of cereal.  the kids slept late too.  abigail til 9:15 or 9:30 and brady til 10 maybe?  abigail didn't lie to me about going potty so that pretty much made my day.  she came downstairs dressed and i just sent her back up to go potty and wash hands... didn't even give her the opportunity to try to tell me a lie.  anyways, we read books in my bed until it was time to get brady up and it was a great start to our day.  we got brady up and the kids got a bath and we headed downstairs for oatmeal and leftover waffles... and an apple.  because they were still hungry.

after breakfast i made a batch of powder laundry detergent and cleaned up the kitchen while the kids played in the great room.  then i sat down and put my feet up for a ballet recital.  it was spectacular and involved a lot of pretty awesome twirls.  then abigail and brady started playing princesses so i went along with that game and eventually it was naptime.  we read more books, i put brady down, and i told abigail to have a nice quiet time.  brady only napped for less than an hour and a half but whatever.  i made the kids sandwiches and we were on with our afternoon.  brady and i played baseball in multiple rooms of our house.  that tee ball bat is wonderful... we have so much fun with that.  also, playing catch.  i love that.  brady is so so cute.  perfect age.  so perfect.

i cleaned up that trailing corner of mess in my room and did some random other stuff.  i feel like i'm constantly chipping away at a to do list of randomness around the house.  is this normal?!  or do other people just sit around all day and play with their kids?  i finally organized all my visiting teaching papers from the past several months and got them all put away in a binder. and i hung up abigail's calendar and thomas wheel in her closet.  finally.  i also vacuumed the upstairs.  i feel like vacuuming always takes forever.  the kids watched my little pony until dinner time, they cleaned up the great room, and we had stuffed pepper leftovers and once again, we all loved it... especially brady.  he eats so much.  we all headed up a little before 7 and bedtime went perfectly.

i did more cleaning and whatever until honey got home after 8 and then parked myself in bed to write this post right now with honey by my side watching suits.  anyone watch that?  sarah brazee from Tennessee?  it's a lawyer show.  i watched the first episode or two with him and liked it but he keeps watching without me so now i don't care so much because i've missed so much.

maybe tomorrow i'll actually wear something other than yoga pants and a hoodie and do something with my hair other than a ponytail.  ; )  but today was still pretty nice.  these kinds of days have their purpose.

today made me giddy

today was a simple day... but i got to the end of it and felt butterflies in my stomach and just excited about life.  why?  i couldn't figure it out for a while but then realized it was because my day was just great.

here are a few wonderful things about my day:
both kids, and myself, not waking up until 10am.  brady isn't feeling well and had a rough night.
abigail ate all of her breakfast.  and we all ate together.  like the dollhouse family.
we got out of the house by noon... with no yelling.
brady and abigail were so well behaved at walmart and brady slept for the majority of the trip.
abigail didn't whine about lunch... and ate a TON.  plus some.  and then finished off our entire tupperware of cantaloupe.
both kids went down for nap easily and their nap time overlapped for over two hours.
i was able to make dinner in peace... delicious toasted almond chicken.  and even eat dinner with honey in peace.
because honey got home before 5:30!!!
abigail took her three year old stubbornness down a few notches.  no fights today about going potty!
that girl says the darnedest things.  and loves to pray alllll by herself.
my christopher did four days of dishes and occupied the kids and fed abigail (a whooooole ton of food) in the kitchen while i took a long phone call for my calling and prepared a family home evening lesson on faith and prayer (passed off a personal progress goal with that one!)
we had so much fun as family... just talking and hanging out.  in the kitchen, in brady's room, just totally hit the spot.
both kids went to bed at the same time... again, without a problem.
i actually got to hang out in bed with my honey for a while before he fell asleep!  that neverrrr happens.
i worked on personal progress (i'm kind of obsessed right now) and read scriptures and journaled for a long time after we turned out the lights.
i'm blogging!  the day of!  this is why i blog.  to preserve these moments.  i love my life.

day three at home

friday:  weather didn't cooperate for the splash pad so we stayed home instead.  i'm really loving these stay at home days.  i don't know why i feel so much pressure to get out and do stuff.

check it out.  the happiest kid around.

you know you're doing something right when your three year old says "look at this mommy!"  it warmed my heart.

the only thing better was that she asked me to help her find the high chair and added brady to the senario.  she did this 100% on her own, with absolutely zero guidance from me.  as i said, it helped me feel like i'm not a disaster of a mom.  and i like that feeling.

someday i'll stop sneaking in to his room to take pictures of him while he sleeps.  not today though.

they can't make eye contact without laughing and smiling.

she took apart her bead bracelet from the golf tournament.  then she sat her pantsless self (they got dirty during lunch) on the fireplace and strung them all back on.  she makes me proud.

 

 

 

abigail asked if the dishes in the dishwasher were clean or dirty.  when i told her they were clean she asked if she could put them away.  not exactly how i would have arranged them but they're all in the correct place and it saved me some time.  she genuinely enjoys being helpful and i appreciate it so much.

this giant green bush?  we've tried to kill it multiple times but it keeps coming back.  at the beginning of july, honey cut it all the way to the ground.  literally cut it even with the dirt.  six weeks later and it's as tall as he is.  so he cut it down to the ground again.  grows like a weed.

 

it's a train!

i didn't ask for an explanation...

an all around success

today was a good day.  reflecting on my day i tried to figure out why it was so good.  it's a checklist of sorts that i go through pretty frequently and today i got way higher marks than i usually do.

- i showered and got out of the house before 10am.  my hair was wet, and i was wearing a t-shirt and no makeup but who cares... i showered!
- i got grocery shopping and errands done.  double points that abigail was at playgroup so i didn't have the mom guilt of dragging her through walmart for an hour while telling her "no" five million times in a row.
- on that shopping trip, i bought things i needed for the house (hangers, receipt organizer), nursed brady in the dressing room (picked the nearest item to "try on" and i'm pretty sure i didn't fool the dressing room lady with my size 18 dress), got a few fun things (a new purple nailpolish for abigail and a new pink nail polish for me as well as new mascara for me... all a dollar or less), and saved a whole ton of money on the things i bought (price matched $2 milk, $2 cheese, cheap produce, and meat on sale) and avoided getting any impulse food purchases!
- both kids napped at the same time and brady was exhausted from not getting a real nap this morning (he's at the point where he'll only nap for 45 minutes or less if we're out running errands... although sometimes it's only for 10 or 15 minutes) and slept for over 3.5 hours again.
- i was super productive during nap time.  i cleaned out my honey's side of the closet... something i've been itching to do for probably almost two years... basically ever since we moved into this house.  he might kill me when he comes home and finds out... but that's not today's problem.
- baby girl was a lot of fun today.  she's my little pal and hanging out with her helps me not feel so lonely that my honey is gone.
- i'm actually keeping up with the dishes in the kitchen and not letting them pile up like i sometimes do when my christopher is out of town.  i'm actually doing a fairly good job at keeping the house clutter at bay.
- i took one of my young women out for frozen yogurt and we had a blast.  baby girl and brady did too.  but especially baby girl.  she was laughing and squealing like crazy.  extra mom points for me for frozen yogurt and providing a friend for my child.
- i was nice to my husband, didn't complain [that much] about my baby, and was pretty patient with baby girl.
- i maintained a good mood today despite the crazy bad headache that has been plaguing me for the last twelve hours and that i didn't actually get a real meal today.
- i didn't get to talk to my sister when she called but i did talk to my mother in law when she called to check in on me and see how things were going today with brady.
- i did two loads of laundry.  i need credit for that too.

basically, at the end of the day what i really want to know is... was i a good wife?  was i a good mother?  did i work towards fulfilling my calling?  did i do something to improve my home and make it a better place for my family?  did i take care of myself (normally means meals or shower or looking nice)?  was i a good friend/family member to my loved ones?  did i serve anyone or help someone's day to be a little bit brighter?  did i work on any projects or long term goals?  was i happy?"

so even though there is a long list of stuff i didn't get to or should have done better, i am checking off today as a major success.  i mean, it only took me an hour to get brady to sleep tonight!  there is a lot to celebrate! and i am very very very blessed.

tummy time with a view

some pictures from saturday morning...

morning is brady's happiest time.  honey is never home to see it so when brady was so happy and laughing and smiling and my christopher just laid him in his crib and he went right to sleep... he couldn't get over it.  brady is a master jekyll and hyde.

i set him up with a view so he could watch dad and big sister building legos downstairs.

he enjoyed it thoroughly.

they made this road.  but of course it was actually called "tracks" and it was for trains.

and you better believe they all got a turn to puff through there!

baby simba.  kinda like this.

and then i had to kick it in gear to get ready for the temple.  our babysitter cancelled on us the day before because she got sick... and the six or seven other girls we called were unavailable.  i know i could have called at least 15 other options but i'm a little more particular now that i have a high maintenance baby.  and it would have been scary to leave him with a new babysitter while being completely inaccessible at the temple. my in laws were all going to the temple together since my brother in law, john, is leaving soon on his mission to argentina.  i told my christopher that if we couldn't find a babysitter then he should go to the temple because it's his family.  his exact response was "no you should go since you're always with the kids.  and it's your family too."  i love that guy.  i love him soooo much.  the temple was awesome and he brought the kids and met us all at texas roadhouse (ummm the company has a whole lot of credit for texas roadhouse since they buy a million dollars of gift cards for clients... if that makes sense) so we all got to hang out anyways... except for brady who slept in his carseat the whole time.  and then we went to the hilliers for games and hanging out until 10pm or something and the whole day was perfect.  start to finish just wonderful.  i'm related to some of my most very favorite people.

A good day

Today was a success. I got a shower before 10am, Abigail had an awesome time at playgroup school sassy girls club, we went to the library and got new books (we now have 95 items checked out), abigail ate lunch and had time for ten minutes of Thomas before nap, both kids napped at the same time so I had two and a half hours to myself to do laundry and cleaning, I did a million loads of laundry start to finish, Abigail and I read books together in bed again for almost two hours, Brady was pretty low key and napped alright, Abigail scarfed down her meatloaf and strawberries for dinner, and I had both kids asleep by ten (even if Brady did wake up again at ten thirty), and my teething baby stops grunting and fussing and just goes to sleep after I give him orajel! I even vacuumed my entire house! Seriously, this is major cause for celebration. Look at me! I'm awesome!

if you give a mom two kids

we're pretty crappy about having an actually family home evening on monday nights.  we definitely spend time together as a family... but it normally doesn't include a formal spiritual lesson.  well, we actually had one a few weeks ago.  honey shared with us two mormon messages videos.  one on being a mom and one on being a dad.  it turned out to be pretty prophetic... at least for me.  especially because when i thought things were really going to pick up with brady, he sprouted a tooth and his nighttime sleep regressed, daytime sleep regressed, and fussiness increased.  if he was an only child, this really wouldn't be a problem.  and as it is, it's still not a huge deal because my life is still so blessedly easy.  but the thing is... it's frustrating to me.  it's frustrating that i used to be able to do more and that i want to do more... but there is literally not enough time in the day to do everything i would like to do and save my mental sanity.  blogging is my therapy and right now... that's what i'm doing.  between popping a binky in brady's mouth every four seconds.  dude, we both know you're gonna throw a fit the second that thing leaves your lips... so keep it in your mouth!

y'know those laura numeroff books?  if you give a mouse a cookie, if you give a moose a muffin, if you give a pig a party, if you give a dog a donut... those.  that's been my day.  around noon, brady was sleeping and it was gorgeous weather so i thought it would be fun for baby girl to play outside.  well... it took a while.  took a while to go potty, get on appropriate play clothes and shoes, get an easter treat to take outside with her, and gather up the trains she wanted to bring, and probably at least five other things i can't even remember.  it's a process.  during this time, my honey texted me with the location of the pants he needed me to fix ("hanging in the closet" still took a lot of looking) and baby girl insisted on helping me find those before going outside.  so finally she got outside and i had pants.  i set myself at the kitchen table to i could watch her play in the backyard and then i realized i didn't have the right thread.  so i came back with the right thread, got it cut to size, hadn't even gotten my needle out yet and... i hear brady waking up on the monitor.  makes sense because he naps for about 2.5 hours and it had been 2h and 23 minutes.  i just hadn't expected it to take so long to get pants and baby girl outside.

so i told abigail that i would just run upstairs to get brady and be right back.  i sat back at the kitchen table and told her again, "it'll just take a few minutes for brady to eat and then we can all go to the front yard and you can ride bikes on the driveway!"  she was very pleased.  well, when brady was mostly done eating, he started pooping.  and it went on and on and on and on.  "don't worry baby girl!  i'm just going to run to my room real quick and change brady's diaper... want to come?"  so she came.  but as soon as i unzipped his sleep sack, i knew this was a job that needed to be taken upstairs to the changing table.  it was maybe his worst blowout yet.  it was of epic proportions.  so then i had to fill up the bathtub and bathe the kid.  i got him in a fresh diaper and new clothes and he spitup and of course it got on his bath towel and new clothes and even his freshly washed hair.  got him cleaned up again and took a load of laundry downstairs while brady cried upstairs.  then i got him and went downstairs again before realizing... he's already been awake for an hour... he's going to get fussy and need to nap soon and now it's 1:30 and abigail will need to eat lunch so that she can nap too.  after explaining to baby girl that there was no time for bikes on the driveway, i got her bike from the garage and put it on the patio.  i went back inside to get brady and somehow she was riding her bike on the grass.  noooo idea how she got it down there by herself.  especially so quickly and without getting hurt.  so confused.  so we all hung out outside for five minutes and then i got her set up with her bike on the patio again and i worked on stain treating brady's clothes and getting everything in the washer.  while i was doing that, abigail decided she wanted to hang out with us instead and helped grab brady a binky because he was crying again and my hands were covered with poop and stain chemicals.  she's a great helper.  then i grabbed her a banana and a sippy and sat her at the table to eat while i took brady upstairs to nap.  that took a number of attempts and when i came back down, baby girl was already running to the stairs saying she was ready to nap.  i asked her if she finished her banana and whatever and she threw her arms up at me and said "take me to sleep!"  man, i guess she was tired because we did her whole nap routine (while periodically giving brady his binky and thankfully he eventually went to sleep) and she went right to sleep... didn't even play for a minute... or get naked.  so i came downstairs, heated up a taquito from last night, ate that, brought my sewing stuff to my bed and was pulling up the scriptures online to listen to while i was sewing when... i heard brady crying.  he frequently wakes up at the 45 minute mark but goes back to sleep right away with a binky.  not today.  after several attempts i just grabbed him out of his crib.  i couldn't help think of how my day seemed like that mormon messages video.

so i brought him downstairs to my bed and i nursed him while i watched the mormon messages video... and cried.  i guess really i just listened to the video while i looked at brady.  he was so intently looking into my eyes and he was holding my finger with his hand on my chest and was just precious and calm.  i love when nursing him is like that... not him arching his back and screaming and kicking... because we still get plenty of that too.  it was a precious moment.  elder holland's words are so encouraging.  also they made me think of what my christopher said to me on monday after i was almost in tears telling him that aside from keeping the kids alive, the only thing i'd accomplished in the entire day was a trip to walmart... which was so depressing because it took my whole morning to get ready, a ton of time while we were there, and then all afternoon to recover from the trip, kids getting late naps, and groceries not even getting completely put away.  he told me that he was impressed with what i had done that day.  that a trip to walmart was a great thing.  he said that keeping the kids alive every day is the only thing i need to accomplish every day and "everything else is just gravy."  i go back and forth on my feelings on this but i know it's at least part true.  there's too much i consider "absolutely necessary" when really, there are actually very few things (like keeping the kids alive) that fall into that category.  i constantly feel like i'm not doing enough when i know it's not for lack of trying (i helped set up, clean up, and speak at our new beginnings program when i freaking had the flu with a fever of 101 and the worst full body aches of my life).  i feel like been learning and relearning this lesson about every five or six days for the past few months, ever since brady was born.  which speaking of... he's finally asleep again... and now i can go fold that laundry in the dryer.  after that maybe throw together something edible for dinner, pick up the house a little bit, finish icing the cake i made for our neighbors (let's all pray they'll be home this time!) and maybe shower or at least get clothes, hair, and makeup done before my friend's baby shower tonight.

seriously, how am i supposed to have five kids when i already feel like such a failure with two?  i need another pep talk with my dear weed.  although i did talk to her a bit last night... it may have been about nasty cherry vanilla coke concoctions, bad math and losing two cents on a deal, quick trip, racism, and a husband carrying his amputee wife into a QT... among other things.  maybe i'm only hanging in here because of that phone call and talking to my sister emmy and skyping with my wonderful carolyn.  yes, sara snow, it's the little things.

and one last thing because i can't figure it out for the life of me.... how do moms with toddlers get bored?!  like all those mom's that pin ideas of things to do with their toddlers because i guess they've got just so much time on their hands?!  i was totally bored when abigail was a little baby... but not now.  i've gotta be missing something because i can't even seem to get my kids outside for a few minutes... much less make super cool forts and creatures out of cotton balls and pipe cleaners and homemade playdough.  ohhhh, someday.

Sick and poop

today was rough.  sunday morning i woke up with a sore throat.  monday morning it was worse.  by monday night i was kind of dying.  then i finally got in bed around 11 and was able to soak up some sweet sleep.  for an hour.  not sure if it's the teething or if brady has what i have but he woke up a midnight, two, five, seven, and then for the day at 9:30.  baby girl woke up for the day at 8:15.  so between my multiple nightmares about our new beginnings program (in one of the dreams, i got there and had forgotten to make the banana muffins that were apparently oh so crucial to the refreshment table), the crazy full body aches, and then the alternating chills/sweats and that time i couldn't fall back asleep for 45 minutes?  i woke up feeling great.  or maybe i woke up feeling like death.  like i got beat up on the side of a road and a good samaritan never came for me.

so my day included wearing my down puffycoat constantly and spending as much time as possible in my bed with my electric blanket turned on high.  when i worked, i never called in sick.  like seriously never.  a few times i remember getting sent home for throwing up on the job, but i never called in sick.  at my nanny job interview in california they asked me how many sick days i took at my previous job and i didn't even understand the question.  they had to explain it to me before i answered that i never took any time off unless it was cleared in advance.  all day today i kept thinking to myself, "this is worthy of calling in sick.  i might die."

and we had our young womens new beginning program tonight (side note: HOLY COW why does it take so. many. hours. to plan something that lasts for 45 minutes?!  sooo much planning and prep and setup, etc.  so glad that it went well and is out of the way now!) and i had to be there because i was part of the program.  and that dream about forgetting to bring was i was supposed to for the refreshment table?  actually true (except it wasn't banana muffins) and i had to drag both kids to the store today in the cold rain so i could get stuff to make the treat.  i bet people thought i was a crappy mom for dressing myself in a puffy coat and fur boots while my kid was wearing a long sleeved tee.  glad no one asked about it because i probably would have yelled/croaked "I'M COLDER THAN I'VE EVER BEEN IN MY LIFE!!!  IF I OWNED A SNOW SUIT, I WOULD BE WEARING THAT RIGHT NOW TOO!"

anyways, it's 10:45 and somehow i survived.  all day i just kept thinking "thank goodness i'm not throwing up.  coughing, sneezing, sore throat, full body aches, and chills all suck... but thank goodness i'm not throwing up too.  especially because i felt too sick to eat anything... so that would have been a pain.

want to know my silver lining of the day?  it's about poop so if you don't like hearing about poop you should probably say goodbye now.

well when brady was down for his morning nap, i convinced baby girl to cuddle in bed with me and bring me books to read to her.  i had the electric blanket turned on high and if i wasn't too cold and didn't move then my body wouldn't hurt so bad (ohmyheavens i don't know if i've ever gotten the aches this bad in my life).  at one point i realized that baby girl hadn't gone potty in a long time so i sent her to the bathroom to do that and i crossed my fingers for the best (sometimes it's tricky for her when she's wearing her footie pj's) while i stayed in my warm bed.  i'm not sure what happened but she came back naked holding two pairs of wet underwear and telling me that TWO undies got wet.  seriously really confused about that.  so i told her to put those in the washer and go upstairs and get some clean undies.  she did that and came back just fine.  so then she's just hanging out in my bedroom talking to me while i'm still in bed, and she looks up at me and says all matter-of-fact...

"I'm gonna go get new Thomas undies cause I'm gonna poop in these."
What?!

you'll have to understand that for the last year or so of her life, she has pooped exclusively in a diaper, in her crib.  never ever ever poops around anyone.  never gonna poop at the park or costco or a friend's house or while she's playing with her toys.  n-e-v-e-r.  apparently she needs her privacy.  so i told her that poop goes in the potty and she should bring me another book.  then i thought to myself, she's pretty legit these days and i'm going to feel like an idiot if she actually poops in her underwear.

so then I dragged myself out of bed to accompany her to the bathroom. Sure enough, she just sat right on the potty and did her thing.

a picture of my sweet girl with her precious little poop nugget.  just kidding, it's a dark chocolate truffle*.

and then she told me she wanted a truffle and i happily obliged.  and then we called christopher at work so baby girl could share the great news.  the best part was just seeing how she was so proud of herself. it made my heart melt.

*did anyone actually believe that?  happy april fools... second.

living at church

between last night and today i feel like the church building has been my home away from home.

last night was our ward christmas party.  the young women were put in charge of decorations so even though the party was from 5:30 to 7:30, i was there from 4:00 til 8:30 or so.

then this morning was like many others.  christopher had bishopric meeting from 6 to 7:30 so when he got home, i went to ward council.  and it went more than 30 minutes late today so i was there from 7:45 (it starts at 7:30 but i'm always late because i have to wait for christopher to get home before i can leave) to 9:20 before heading home to grab breakfast and get abigail up and fed and dressed and then it's back to church for 10:20 sacrament meeting.  and then we had tithing settlement afterwards and of course they were running behind so we didn't leave until 2:20 and then  my christopher had to stick around to help out with tithing settlement so i took baby girl home.  and she was really on one when we got home so it took forever to get her fed and down for nap.  and then i had about 15 minutes to sit down and check email and whatever before my christopher got home at 4:00 and it was time for me to go back to the church for a THIRD time for ward choir.  but because we share our building with three other wards, we had to wait to use the chapel and didn't even get started til after 4:30 and then we went over every single song and i didn't get home til 6:20 and all i wanted to do was crawl in bed.  who else made four round trips to church in a 24 hour period?  i couldn't help but think to myself how nice it would be if they could make faster progress on our new church building being built IN our neighborhood.  i'm super excited for that.  too bad it's probably more than a year away...

all that being said though, this sunday was a very good one.  one of those sundays where all three hours of church are awesome and even though i was nodding off during sunday school (soooo tired lately), i felt like my mind was clear and i was able to really pay attention and learn about what the teacher was teaching!  and the christmas songs we're singing in choir are beautiful.  and abigail and christopher and i had a great time tonight switching and setting up rooms upstairs.  it was productive family togetherness at its finest.

what a happy sunday indeed!

honey's home!

after being out of town more often than not for the past couple of weeks... my honey is back in town!

this morning was good.  baby slept late and i had to wake her up at 10 so she wouldn't miss baby school/sassy girls club this morning.  she had an awesome time and made a little indian thankful hat.  then we went to the playground with jodi and elle.  the weather could not have been more pleasant.  it was heavenly and we stayed until 1:30.  headed home for lunch and nap.  baby girl woke up in a good mood and things were going well until they weren't.

so thank goodness for honey coming home and saving the day.  he made me feel better about our avocado disappointment, the clean kitchen efforts that kept getting thwarted by a cry baby, my achey back and blistered hands, and fifty times over, that cry baby that went through probably half a roll of "tissue" (toilet paper).

luckily my christopher was fine eating cottage cheese and a microwave quesadilla and chips and salsa and rootbeer and goodness knows what else.  and luckily he was happy to put baby girl to bed while i took a hot shower.

i feel better about life now.

pictures to be added in a future post

oh my heavens i seriously don't even know where to begin.  last i blogged it was about 4am on a friday morning and i was manually changing the scheduling of my post so that it looked like i'd written it at a decent time on a thursday night.  atlanta was insanely busy.  first it was wedding prep.  then wedding and baby blessing.  then i stayed up til 4 30am that one night after my friends left.  and for a day or two i slept in because i was so exhausted.  but then i panicked at my dwindling amount of time left with my mom.  sorry, that sounded a little morbid.  she's not dying... i just won't see her again til the end of december when she comes out to take care of me after i have a baby.  i am happy to report that my mother is alive and well.  anyways though... i continued staying up late at night hanging out with my parents and then getting online to edit pictures, blog, etc. but i started setting my alarm for 7:30 in the morning so that i could get up and ready and have a few hours with my mom before abigail woke up.  i'll make a little note right here and say that even though we were in atlanta for nine days... she never adjusted to east coast time.  oh well.  it has make our transition back to MST a complete non issue but i can write more about that later.  the point is... i was getting like four hours of sleep at night (although sometimes a little more) and not taking any naps to compensate.  i'm sure my mother is gasping and reprimanding me in her head right now while my sisters are thinking about what poor choices i make.  ; )  love you too!

so i felt like i was running around with my head cut off trying to get my parents' house in order since my ADD and OCD had simultaneously taken over their house.  it was so much fun and so satisfying though.  friday morning was crazy busy.  my dad wanted everything i've ever owned out of their house.  i really didn't have a lot of stuff but it was random keepsake stuff from childhood through high school and it didn't make sense for it to stay in a bedroom closet anymore when they needed that space for guest rooms.  so i sorted through a million (well, maybe like 18) years of stuff and categorized it and helped my dad pack it in giant boxes so bring out to me when they come for the baby blessing in february.  it ended up being only three boxes which is perfect because they get one free checked bag when they fly delta so mom can bring one when she comes after little boy is born and then they can each bring another when they come for the blessing.  excelente.  also, mom and i tied up a bunch of loose ends on organizing stuff and i wrote long to do lists for my dad and my mom which made us all laugh a little bit at the roll reversal.  i was a disorganized slob growing up so it's still strange to them that i turned into their ocd child.  i mean, my tried and true method for cleaning my room was to shove all of my junk into a pile against the wall and then cover it neatly with a perfectly draped bath towel.  and if you don't believe me, i have a number of friends that would be more than happy to testify i'm sure.

then when my childhood stuff was packed away, my parents' house in order, and my bag and baby girl's bag for our trip packed (basically a few unused outfits and nine days of dirty clothes because who has time to do laundry?!), we headed out around 2:30pm... only a few minutes late!  we met dad at the varsity for an oh so delicious lunch and then mom took us to the airport.  and although the flight was far from miserable, it was by no means fantastic.  i wasn't the patient enthusiastic mom that wanted to play games and entertain my child.  i was the sleep deprived mom begging my child to "FOR THE LOVE PLEASE JUST GO TO SLEEP!!!" because we hadn't had time for a nap earlier in the day (varsity gets priority) and my child was also sleep deprived (ummm our flight didn't take off til after 6 pm and lasted three hours and so she was going a VERY long time being awake) and majorly grumpy.  well... i am sad to report that although she'd been begging for a nap in the car on the way to the airport (i told her no, that she had to stay awake until we got on the plane), she passed her happy time and progressed to the over-tired wired stage and DID NOT NAP ON THE PLANE.  so when honey picked us up from the airport, baby girl had been awake for between 11 and 12 hours.  and i know some kids are okay with that but my kid is one that spends 3-4 hours in her crib every afternoon for nap time.  she needs her beauty sleep.

cue the sad music of baby girl having a negligent mother.  honey texted me while we were at the varsity and asked if we wanted to go to the rockies game that night after we got in because it was the special fireworks show and he could get company tickets for us.  in my sleep deprived state (and because i've never been good at math) i calculated wrong and didn't realize until we were at the game that it was going to be a REALLY late night.  well, she napped for five or ten minutes after we left the airport but before we parked for the game.  we're too cheap to pay for parking so we park next to a starbucks a really long walk from coors field.  honey had a gift card so he got some dinner and i got a caramel apple spice.  it was delicious.  the last time i had one of those was at least three or four years ago.  last time he had a starbucks gift card.  ha.  got to the game during the 5th inning i think.  kinda watched the game.  not too exciting and the rockies lost badly.  of course.  baby girl was super tired and if we gave her a binky, she would curl up on our laps.  it was fun to snuggle.  she even snuggled with some people down the row from us but that's a story for another post.

the fireworks were awesome.  the music was good and it was all really well choreographed.  they only do a fireworks show on the 4th of july and then a random game at the end of season so it was great that we got to  go.  baby fell right asleep on the way home.  then i pulled her out of her carseat, put on a fresh diaper and pj's and laid that tired little muffin in bed at just a little before midnight.  which was almost 2am atlanta time with a baby with no nap.  friday when this was happening i was like "there is no freaking way i could ever post this on my blog" but then here i am... no edit.  so now the secret is out.  i deprive my child of naps for the varsity and i keep her up past her bedtime for baseball and fireworks.  i've always been a selfish mom though.  just read through the archives of when baby girl was a newborn.  then i when to bed and crashed.  it felt sooooo good.

then i got a text at some obscene hour of the morning about yw responsibilities.  then i woke up again at 9 30, threw on clothes and went to our yw volleyball game.  then saturday was just really productive.  honey and baby and i had an awesome time as just the three of us.  nap time happened and instead of napping i did fifty million loads of laundry for all of the clothes we've all worn in the past two weeks and stain treated all of honey's work shirts and baby girl's clothes that had food on them because for the love she would goof off non stop during meal times if my mom was present.  and then we went on a long walk to a playground in another neighborhood and the weather was perfect and all was right in the world.  and then it was bedtime.  and baby girl got two baths that day.  and one knot.  that i was able to get out with minimal damage.  i'm getting so good at those things!

and then i crashed again and it's amazing how heavenly sleep is when you've been missing it.  and then i was cursing ward council when my alarm went off at 5:55am this morning.  SHOOT ME.  but once i got up and going i was fine.  ward council was actually really good because bishop shared a lot of his notes from his meeting with elder holland who gave a special thing for bishops and stake presidencies (ps- i totally missed lunch with elder holland on friday... kinda bummed although let's face it, eating lunch at the varsity with my parents was probably my first choice anyways... but i still love you elder holland!) and then sacrament was really good and baby girl was so sweet and cuddly.  but then i was nodding off during sunday school which was a little embarrassing.  then i got bad news about duke, the dog next door, and then was running around church pulling together bishopric members so coordinate a setting apart and i swear it can't be normal to work up a sweat at church but somehow this happens to me every single sunday.  third hour i took the laurels to relief society because our laurel adviser is out of town and there was no way i was finding the time to pull together a decent lesson for the girls.  after church i came home and wanted to die but there just wasn't enough time.

we ate lunch, we cleaned up, put baby down and at 2, my laurels came over for a presidency meeting.  then they left at 4.  then i was answering emails and such.  then at 4 30 i was nodding off on the sofa thinking "it's too late in the day for a full nap because i don't want to be up all night... but i could just close my eyes for 30 or 45 mins" until i was snapped awake with the thought of "CRAP!  the missionaries are going to be here for dinner in less than an hour and i still have to pull together dinner and dessert!"  so i made a pasta salad and rice krispies and since i lack the ability to multi-task, i burned the rice krispie treat butter twice and UGH why does cooking stress me out so much?!  luckily my honey was so nice to do the dishes after church and sweep the kitchen after he woke up from his nap and grilled hamburgers and hotdogs for the missionaries.  still, it was a tender mercy that the missionaries called to ask for a ride because of a flat tire so i sent honey to pick them up and that bought me more time to get everything pulled together.

dinner was great though.  it tasted excellent, baby girl was a million percent perfectly behaved (why couldn't she have shared some of that with her grumpy plane ride self?!) and after the missionaries left i put away the extra food and the three of us had fun relaxing and playing and hanging out on the driveway.  the rest of the night was low key and honey put baby girl down early since she seemed super tired still (she went down for nap at 1:50 or so and was sleeping when i went in at 6pm to wake her up).  and now i'm emptying my mind on this insanely long and tedious and boring post that only i will ever read or look back on.  but that's kind of my point of the blog anyways so oh well.

i need things to slow down a bit but tomorrow morning i'm getting visit taught at 10, i need to go shopping, i need to do my own visiting teaching, and i need to reschedule my doctors appointment and glucose test because i think it's my turn to teach baby school this week.  oh, and the person that's in charge of planning our mutual activity for tuesday is MIA and i have about fifty things on my to do list.  my calling is just sliiiiiightly overwhelming to me at the moment.

so that's why i haven't been blogging.

24 hours - a day in the life

let's type up the last 24 hours of my life so i can get my mind off of the second most traumatic experience of my life.  in case you'd forgotten... the gold medal for traumatic experiences still goes to this one that happened last summer.

last night at 11:30 i prayed and read my scriptures and instead of just going to sleep, i got on the internet instead.
12:30 am still on the internet and it hit me like a ton of bricks "where on earth did this massive headache come from?!" and then two minutes later i realized this was definitely a migraine.  and that i suddenly felt intensely sick to my stomach.  turned off the computer and eventually fell asleep.
4:00am on the dot, woke up with my stomach clenching painfully.  made my way to the bathroom and threw up times five.  felt so much better but still not great at all.  brushed my teeth and went back to bed.
5:00am on the dot woke up again with the urgent need to throw up and literally ran to the bathroom (good thing i'd left the light on from the previous time!) and threw up a few more times.  i normally don't really mind throwing up... i'm not one of those people that hates it.  but this time i was hating it.  it hurt my pregnant belly and my oh my how it burned my throat.  brushed my teeth and rinsed out my mouth a million times and went back to bed.
7:30am felt like i could probably throw up but went back to bed instead.
8:00 woke up with a still really bad headache and not feeling great but not feeling like i'm going to die either.  while i was showering i was wondering if i maybe had just eaten something that didn't sit right.  then as my head was still in intense pain and i kept getting out of breath and lightheaded like crazy and was still dealing with an empty queasy stomach, i realized that the throwing up must have been because of the migraines.  it's been forever since i threw up from having a migraine.  like at least two years i'm guessing.
10:20 tiptoed up to baby girl's room and wished i had my camera to take a picture of her sweetly sleeping self.  no time to get it so i just woke her up instead.  it took her a minute or two... she must have been super tired.  diaper and clothes and a few bites of oatmeal before we were out the door.
10:30 got to jodi's to drop off baby girl.  panicked because she wasn't there.
10:40 jodi got there.  thank goodness!
11:00 got to my in laws.
11:15 to 12:30 ate lunch with elder perry and my in laws.  that man loves his ipad.  also, he's even taller in person.
1:00 made it to jodi's
2:00 arrived home and ate lunch
2:30 baby down for nap
5:00 i woke up from my nap.  first one i've taken in a while.
6:30 went upstairs to get baby girl up.  she was already awake but still just playing happily in her crib.
7:00 got to the quilt place... won a prize!  somehow i knew they would pick my raffle number.  sixth sense?
7:30 left quilt place and went to old navy and ross.  got two pairs of infant shoes for fifty cents each that were originally $10.  who pays that much for old navy baby shoes?!  nothing was on sale in the maternity section this time.  ross had some stuff though so i left there $50 lighter.  honey is going to have to start staying in town because i seem to shop and spend more money while he's away...
10:15pm got home and ate dinner
10:45 put baby girl to bed
11:00 walked into my bedroom to find a gigantic spider on the floor by my bed.  immediately broke into a full body sweat.  i'd just been thinking how wonderful it's been that i haven't seen a spider in like two months and here's a huge one the first night my christopher is out of town.  it wasn't as big as the enormous wolf spider from that one time last summer but it was huge and gangly and tall.  so i called my friend across the street (they stay awake late so i knew they wouldn't be asleep) and told her to send her husband over.  the spider crawled under the bed in the two minutes before he got here but with the help of a flashlight, a broom, and a roll of paper towels... we (he) got that sucker taken care of.  i'm still so jumpy but there were a few major tender mercies about this experience, namely that i happened to be fully clothed when this happened.  what would i have done if i was in my g's when i saw this and couldn't get past the spider to get clothes on before i called someone over?!  anyways... now i'm going to go back to being jumpy about seeing spiders and i hate that.  i need therapy.
11:45 and i still have this awesome headache that will not let up.  ugh... crossing my fingers for some restful sleep and some not too scary dreams.  is it tuesday night yet?!

come on baby girl... time to go next door to ross.

and just when i thought she might be following me... i looked back to find her mounting this dog.

but we still left happy.  thank you old navy for your complimentary balloon and bouncy ball.

another happy day

today was so fun.

i had an awesome doctors appointment this morning and baby girl was absolutely divine.  it was so much more enjoyable than normal bringing my little buddy along for companionship.  i can't wait for her to come with me again next time.  the appointment was so quick that we got back to parker around 11 and had nothing else planned for the morning.  so instead of going home we went to the library to hit up the last ten minutes of story time.  we got there at 11:20 and enjoyed a book, a dance, and a song.  and a stamp.  my how baby girl loves getting stamps on her hands.  it's adorable.  and then in walked jodi and elle!  we hadn't even planned to meet up with them so it was such a fun surprise and we ended up hanging out at the library while the girls wandered and played for over an hour.  went home, ate lunch, took a nap.  baby girl didn't get up from nap til after 6:15 or so.  she's been doing that lately where i think she plays for a while before and after the time that she's actually sleeping and total she'll spend over four hours in her crib.  sometimes just the three or 3.5 but it's not unusual for it to be 4.5 which honestly is kinda a lot of down time to have at once.  i need more energy so i can actually be productive.  anyways, we at dinner and hung out for a bit before honey declared it a movie night.  we watched the second part of toy story three (we'd already seen the first part at a movies in the park thing we went to a few weeks ago) that we had dvr'd and it was insanely fun.  we set up tons of soft blankets and pillows on the floor of the great room and brought out our big down comforter and turned out all the lights and snuggled up.  we had the windows open so there was a chill in the air and it felt so good to be cozy under the covers.  like a little fall preview.  baby girl loved narrating the movie for us.  baby!  dog!  running!  dancing!  jump!  bonk!  except with more complete thoughts and sentences.  it hit the spot so perfectly.  what a wonderful thing to do as a family before honey leaves town til next week!

i can't say it enough... life is just so happy.

baby girl thought this was the coolest thing ever and loved rolling around and wrapping herself up in that blue fleece blanket.

honey always seemed to look like he was on the verge of falling asleep.

"fun" doesn't always look flattering.  sadly.