burgundy and white game

tonight we went to colorado springs with two of my christopher's brothers and watched the avs play... against themselves... at the air force academy. not your average hockey game but it was awesome. way cool to see the avs play in such an intimate setting. i spent the whole game texting my friend, sarah cory's sister, which made my good night infinitely better.

ps- my dinner consisted of buffalo ranch sunflower seeds, sunny d, reeses, m&ms, those peanut butter cracker sandwiches, and then chick fil a and high c fruit punch on the way home. i feel naseous.

she's a real person now

i'm going to come clean a little.

maybe you remember, maybe you don't.  i tried not to write about it more than necessary because i didn't want it to come off the wrong way but, baby girl was the easiest, most angelic baby ever born.  she cried twice in her first four weeks alive.  once at the hospital getting her newborn bath and when she was three weeks old and i took her on a walk on a windy california beach.  both times were less than a minute and a half.  the only way i'd know if she was asleep or awake was if i walked in her room to check.  i would swaddle her, lay her down and leave.  "set it and forget it" always came to mind.  i'd peek in every hour or so to check on her.  around that three hour mark, if she was still sleeping, i'd wake her up to eat and play.  often though, i'd go in to find her just hanging out, wide eyed and waiting.  she could be hungry, tired, poopy, bored, overstimulated, you name it, and she wouldn't cry or fuss.  at 9 weeks old she was sleeping 12-13 hours a night without waking up.  and then she'd take three 3 hour naps during the day.  she was only awake for about an hour at a time in which i could hold her and play with her or i could just lay her down so she could watch me clean or do the dishes.  it was a very charmed life.

fast forward to now.  none of that applies anymore.  travel happened.  teething happened.  growth spurts happened.  travel happened again.  teething happened again.  packing and moving happened.  even more travel happened.  weaning happened.  molars happened.

and individuality happened.

my days are so very different now.  i know that's to be expected.  a newborn isn't like a toddler.  but everyone will lead you to believe that toddlers are easier.  i knew this wouldn't be the case for us because it was physically impossible for my newborn to get any easier, but it has still been a little difficult at times.

now, my baby fusses.  she cries.  she wakes up during the night.  her naps can be inconsistent.  she's a picky eater.  she's mobile.  she yells.  she gets into everything.  she gets hurt.  she requires constant attention.  she tests my patience.  she has opinions.

she's a real person now.

before, she was my little baby doll.  i dressed her up and posed her for picture after picture.  i fed her whatever i wanted her to eat, whenever i wanted her to eat it.  i took her wherever i wanted to go.  she slept whenever i wanted her to and for how long i wanted her to and where i wanted her to.  she stayed where i put her and played with what i gave her.  my self centered life was able to go on exactly as it always had.

these days, more is required of me.  sometimes i have to give up sleep.  sometimes i give up activities.  sometimes i give up my OCD.  sometimes i give up my physical energy.  sometimes i give up my sanity.  sometimes i have to swallow my pride and admit defeat.  sometimes i have to strategize.  just kidding.  always i have to strategize.  strategy is key.

but it's sooooo worth it.  it's fun.  and exciting.  and rewarding.  when i hear my baby wake up, i rush into her room to get her.  i jump up and down and talk in a creepy high-pitched sing song voice because i am so giddy in love with her and so excited to play.  i love my little girl like crazy.  i'm so thankful for her and that i get to be her mother.

these days, it's not so incredibly easy like it used to be.

it's soooo much better than that.

i'm spending too much time on pinterest

k.  the followup to the story is that around 11:30 or so (who knows?!?  not me!) baby girl semi woke up and realized she wasn't in her own bed.  then she woke up for real and wouldn't lay back down.  i took her up to her bed (our bedroom is on the first floor, in case you didn't know.  also, our mailbox is three houses down in the cul de sac at the end of our street), gave her a pacifier, and put her in bed.  i honestly couldn't believe it worked so easily.  thank goodness for that!

anyways, we had a great weekend and stake conference was fantastic.  so was the weather and going to the in laws for dinner this evening.

how was your weekend?  what was the best part?

or the most awkward.  that sounds more fun.

now what?

my honey has a tendancy in the evenings to fall asleep in places other than our bed.  it is most often on a sofa or the floor, which is much more than i can say for my only brother walter who frequently falls asleep sitting straight up or even at the kitchen table.  when guests are present.  very noisy guests.  and more than ten of them.

anyways, i digress.  tonight my honey fell asleep in our bed (YEAY!), with his clothes on and contacts in and teeth unbrushed (BOO!), on top of the covers (BOO!), laying diagonally (BOO!), with his head at the foot of the bed (BOO!),

RIGHT NEXT TO OUR BABY!!!  (who also has her clothes on and teeth unbrushed.  luckily she does not have contacts in... but she doesn't have a fresh diaper on.)

BOO!!!!!!
so now what?!?!  normally i would just wake him up, tell him to get ready for bed, and be done with it.  but what do i do about our baby?!?!  i can't wake her up because it'll be like a power nap and she won't want to go back to sleep.  and i can't just cozy on up with them because they are taking up the entire bed with how they're sprawled and i have a thing about needing to be under the covers.  i'm that person that can't go to sleep in an unmade bed.  it needs to be in perfect order before i crawl in.

and i can't just sleep in a different bed because 1) i don't like to sleep alone and 2) i'm sure my honey would roll on top of our baby... if she hadn't already managed to fall off the bed herself.

sometimes i feel like a single mom of 2.  one very big, one very tiny.  both exceptionally precious.

ps- tonight we went on a family date to walmart and bought me a bike.  with my honey's bike already having a babyseat, we're all ready to take advantage of the millions of miles of bike trails around here!  woohoo!

i made dinner

dear liza,

thanks for the dinner idea.  i made the tortellini spinach bake in creamy lemon sauce tonight and it was delicious.  chris gave it an 8.6 and i think it was even better than that.  the cheesiness was heavenly and the sauce was so good that i was able to feed baby the spinach from it and she came back for more.  a huge success since she's refused spinach in any form for the past three weeks. anyways, it wasn't as simple as most things on my repertoire, but i think it'll go faster the second time around since i'll have made it before.  so this will go on my steadily expanding "things i can make for dinner" list.

how did you like it?

love,

your adoring littlest sister

who's counting?

someone's really good at making a mess

just me? oh well.

happy 14 months sweet girl!

i missed something

today it was in the 40's.  and raining.  i loved it.  wearing sweaters, being cozy inside, curling up with a book...  normal wintertime stuff.

but isn't fall supposed to follow summer?!?!  and did it really only last 3 days?!?!

i'm crossing my fingers our grass will turn green again with all this rain.  cross yours too and maybe it'll happen!

ps- i did zumba tonight for my first time ever.  for our relief society activity.  OH. MY. GOODNESS. it was soooo hilarious.  now i know what all the hype is about.  i equally loved it and sucked at it.  both in epic proportions.

some writing

i don't do a whole lot of writing these days.  i'm going to try to be better about that.   so here are some thoughts.

baby got a molar last week!  it's on the bottom left and when i first found it, the surrounding gums were bloody.  i'm guessing that explains some fussiness that's been going on.

i have sooooo many pictures from the past two months that i need to get facebooked and blogged.  i was planning on doing some of that during nap time today but i seemed to have spent my time picking hymns for upcoming sundays and uhhh, i'm really not sure what else i was doing during nap time.  i hate when that happens.

speaking of naps, baby's naps are anywhere between 2 hours and 3.5 hours.  it's wonderful.  we get the whole morning to play, lunch at noon, nap from 1-4, and then take a walk or play until dinnertime.  this is the life.

since the pool closed last monday, we've been hitting up story time at the library a lot more often.  we go for story time but then we just hang out.  baby explores and tries to make new friends while i look at the pictures in kids books.  i can not wait until she's old enough to love kids books.  can. not.  i secretly have a goal to read every book in the kid's section of the parker library.  my kid better love reading.

the weather here is sooo nice.  some days feel like fall, some still feel like summer.  temps hovered around 70 today and it was glorious.

i love parker.  i love colorado.  i love absolutely everything about living here.  it is amazing.

my christopher and i really love weeding.  frequently we'll go on a walk around the neighborhood or just to the mailbox and when we reach our driveway again, we'll just sit ourselves down and pick weeds.  baby likes it too.  she just hangs out in her stroller and watches.  my honey likes picking weeds out of the grass.  i like pulling them up from cracks in the driveway or sidewalk, or in between rocks.  since i've already pulled up all the weeds in our driveway, sidewalk, and rocks, i sat myself on our neighbors driveway and started pulling their weeds.  baby hung out in the stroller and i picked weeds.  it was perfect.  until their 21 year old daughter came home.  that was embarrassing trying to explain why i was weeding her driveway.  i told her not to tell chris.  of course.  ; )

dvr helps me to be a better wife.  football is sooo much more bearable when you can fastforward through everything that isn't an actual play.  i enjoy football, but really, there is a lot of fluff to tolerate between plays.  right now we're watching the broncos lose.  they better turn things around or i will have a sad husband.  and so will my wonderful friend lydia.  and our husbands do not deserve to be sad.  not over football.

it is a bittersweet thing for sure, but my baby is definitely not a baby anymore.  i will have you know though that my child will continue to be my baby until i have a new baby.  i realize this could be a while (for those of you who asked, no, there is nothing to announce...i will for sure keep you posted on that should something come up) but i don't care.  i will always have a baby.  it's just a matter of which child will fill that role.  and right now, that responsibility is with my first born.

my baby can run.  and climb.

tonight i spent time trying to decide what shows i want to get into this season.  i've never had to do that before because this is the first time i've ever had a tv/channels in my adult life.  i'm a grown up now and apparently grown ups are excited about their favorite shows starting up again.  i'm just trying to get with the program.  suggestions are welcome.  feel free to email them to me if you're too ashamed to admit your laundry list in the comments section.

okay, i've been informed that's it's bedtime.

goodnight!

we miss stanford football

we had a lot of fun watching the stanford game.  byu, sadly, not as much.

like father like daughter

clapping for a good play

she really was captivated

pick and choose

it appears someone is getting a little selective about their kashi. the same someone who used to gobble it all down has decided that now she doesn't like the tiny square shaped ones. what am i supposed to do with them? put them back in the box?!

this was her reaction when i confronted her about things. she's not really budging.

separate but equal

tonight i caught my christopher telling baby girl that when the time comes, we will love her equally as much as our new baby. think he's anxious for more kids?

no pressure or anything.

the face

my baby can make a funny face. on purpose. it is absolutely hilarious. 99% of the time it is when she's in her highchair. i can tell her to make her face and she will. or i can just do it and she'll laugh and mimic it. anyways, the funniest part is that she cracks herself up. she can't even see her face but she knows she's doing something funny. how do kids learn these things?! i'm blown away. so when she started making her face while we were playing, i attempted to take pictures of it. the settings were all wrong (as you can tell from the horrible picture quality) but i didn't want to take the time to change it. the first two pictures i got were the laughing after the face was over. but the third time i finally got the face! it just looks creepy in the picture. what i really need to do is get a video of it. of her making the face, laughing, face, laughing, face, laughing, and on and on. it is priceless.

so yes, i took almost 100 pictures today and these are the three i chose to share. i'm really behind on my picture sharing. i've been watching too much gossip girl.

in other news, it went from summer to winter overnight. today was maybe the first day i can ever recall of a day in colorado where the sun didn't even make an appearance. seriously, it is sunny every day here. except for today. today was the first day in the history of colorado that it was overcast all day long. i took advantage of our 55 degree weather thought. we spent all morning at the library for story time and playing and then we came home and made zucchini bread while listening to piano music on pandora. and when it came time for baby's nap, i put her in these fleece froggy pajamas. it was such a cozy afternoon and one of those perfect moments in time. i wish i could put that moment in a freezer bag and save it for later. why can't we save our moments? there needs to be an app for that.

anyways, let's come to a general consensus and also take a general poll. first, this blog is extremely boring. second, does anyone still read this?!?!

an important milestone

yesterday morning i caught this little girl destroying my closet and trying on my shoes. trying on my shoes!!! lately baby has been doing an incredible amount of new developmental tricks. she opens lids and puts them back on. she steers her push toy (and boxes). she can walk backwards. she steps into her pant legs and pushes her arms through her shirt sleeves. she attempts to put on her own shoes.

but for her to go in my closet and try on pair after pair of my own shoes?!?! that marked a very special day for me! does there exist a more significant motherly milestone?!?! indeed there does not.

i know she looks like my clone (which, oh my goodness i had another person at church tell me they could see so much of her DAD in her --- that is always a little (a lot) bittersweet for me), my mini-me, myself reincarnated but really? i want her to want to BE like me too.

for me, my mother has always been the person to be. i'm always striving to be as giving, as selfless, as humble, as honest, as hardworking, as patient, as faithful, as serving as my mother. in college i wrote a paper on how my mother was the most perfect example of honesty i'd ever seen. i wrote story after story illustrating how she went above and beyond. and how she inspired me to be honest in all things. i used to have a hard copy and a digital copy of that paper. i have since lost both. i don't think my mother ever even got the chance to read it. but honestly (no pun intended!), what does it matter? because i have her, and every day, i have more examples of her perfect honesty.

y'know that primary song, i'm trying to be like jesus? well, i'm trying to be like jesus. but i'm also trying to be like my mother. lucky for me, she's so christ-like that it's really the same thing.

i just want to be christlike enough that my little daughter will want to be like me too.

my long lost friend

today was fun

i've been feeling very lazy lately.  i think i'm just in mourning that mom and emmy aren't here anymore and i don't have any house guests to look forward to.  anyone want to come be my house guest?!

this morning we hung out at home for a bit trying on a bunch of new clothes given to me by one of my visiting teachers.  while we were playing, baby figured out how to open the puffs container of cheerios she'd been using as a shaker.  because i didn't want to discourage her creativity or accomplishments, i left them spilled on the floor and let her eat them all she want.  but eventually i gave her some breakfast too.  because i'm a good mom.  i love telling myself that.  i really believe it too.

we went to the park where i attempted to take pictures of baby running and walking and playing but really she just wanted to eat everything in sight.  and was extremely successful a little too often.

see that on her tongue?  i'm not entirely sure what that is.

see the dirt on her upper left lip?  she ate one of those dirt pebbles and dissolved in her mouth.

and of course she tasted her fair share of rocks.

and chewed on this stick for at least 45 seconds.  count it.  it's kind of a long time for one stick.

we met my honey for lunch at costa vida.  first time i've had costa vida in absolutely forever.  it was delicious although not as good as provo.  strange.  the best part though was that baby and i got to have lunch with her dad and uncle mark and uncle brian and aunt kelsey.  it was a whole lot of hillier family fun packed into one tiny table.

they were racing.  how cute is that?

she can run now.  kinda.

baby with her uncle mark

nap time then long overdue play time at kirstyn's.  honey got home and we went on a walk to the christensens... two streets away and it started pouring so we were running and laughing like crazy til we arrived on their driveway as they were closing their garage and about to pull out.  turns out, they were actually on their way to our house!  what a coincidence!  so we hung out and all eventually made our way to behind our backyard.  hayden, baby's biggest admirer, and his little brother, like to catch tadpoles, frogs, toads, grasshoppers, snakes, butterflies, and anything else alive, in the grassy area behind our house... so we all did that together.  i sooooo wish i'd had my camera on me for that impromptu adventure.  next time.

then it was dinner and bedtime.

so jealous.  she won't relax like this for me. 

and now my dear little christopher has been passed out on my lap for three hours.  i should probably get him up and to bed, huh?  i love my simple life.

"they look like hooker socks"

that's what he said.

when she knows we're going somewhere, she rushes to the back door.

baby can not get enough walking.  ever.

the crossed legs!  the crossed legs!  adorable.

lucky for baby though, her mother begs to differ.

who needs a walker when you have a diaper box?

too bad the memory on my sd card ran out because she was doing this for a good ten minutes.  through the dining room, kitchen, great room and back again.  round and round and round.

and then she had a good fifty million scream fests until i finally decided it actually IS okay to put your kid to bed in the 6 o'clock hour.  she was sooo beyond tired.  it was kind of like putting a maimed animal out of its misery.  ;-)

ps- she cries with her tongue out.  isn't it cute?  and oh my goodness her eyes!  i think her eyes get brighter every day.

a picture

i love these kids.

ordinary things are fun

it was after 9 and mom and i were anxious to get a start on our day so i went up to check on baby.  turns out she was awake but not making a peep.  when she has a pacifier, she is perfectly content to hang out in her crib all morning long.  this kid knows how to lounge.

check out my beautiful mother.  she makes me so happy.

this is us (mom) heating up the water for homemade yogurt.  i'm learning how to be wonderfully domestic.

this is mom doing a sort of shirt-curtsy pose to show how happy she is in her blow up air mattress guest room.  a much better set up than either time she came to visit me in california last year.  (air mattress on floor of living room and then a few months later on a bed but sharing a room with a newborn that had to be woken and fed every four hours).  who needs nightstands or a dresser?  this is five star treatment here at hotel hillier.

we also went to the denver botanical gardens (pictures on mom's camera), ate a delicious roast beef bacon blue cheese panini, hit up good times for a turtle spoon bender and a handspun frozen custard chocolate malt, filled our cart at walmart, made garlic chicken and homemade mac and cheese for dinner, and watched dvr'd america's got talent.  it was a fun filled day.  just ask baby.  she would know.  she only slept for 7 minutes today.

goals for tomorrow: castle rock outlets, parade of homes, normal three hour nap, PICK UP EMMY!, and the help.  now i just need to find a babysitter...

my mom is here!!!

we stopped at costco on our way home from the airport.  it was fabulous.  i spent several hundred dollars on food storage... including those oats you see over moms shoulder (for granola).  and a number of containers of giant nutella. ;-)

i'm in heaven!!!

summer is fading too fast

and we are going to die when the pool closes.

my baby can walk

i've had a million people ask me when baby started walking.  "well, she doesn't yet.  she won't even stand on her own.  as soon as i let go, she just sits down."  if i had a dollar for every time i said that.  honestly, it's really well rehearsed now.  

today at the pool the lifeguard asked me how old she was and then how old she was when she started walking.  i gave her the same spiel.

we were out on a family walk this evening enjoying the thunderstorm pre-rain weather and stopped at jodi's for a bit.  she kept saying, "she is totally walking on her own.  she doesn't need you at all."  (well yeah, i knew that.  a few weeks ago i was having her walk from me to the sofa by herself.  it was like five steps.  but then she learned the drill and wouldn't put weight on her feet anymore because she knew i would just send her off walking and let go of her waist after two feet.  so i never bothered again.)

so tonight when we got home i said, "okay, enough of this.  our baby can walk, i know she can, let's see her do it!  go sit across the room and i'll send her over to you."  and then it happened.  barely wobbly, our baby walked perfectly the six feet from me to her wonderful father.  and then he sent her back to me.  we did this probably twenty times.  we didn't get very good video of it but here is a short clip so you get the idea.

my baby can walk.

regardless, i'm pretty sure she'll still be holding my finger until she leaves for college.  and i won't even be upset about it.  it's cute.

happy birthday liza!

i spent the day teaching my child to be more like you.

thanks for being such a wonderful big sister. you let me borrow baby clothes (we get LOTS of compliments on them!), share great recipes, motivate me to keep up this blog, and call me when you need a driving companion.

i love you lots and lots and lots.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

pictures of playing

we do a lot of things during play time.

we read.

we lose our balance and fall down.  and look like this.

we climb on things.

we make this face.  frequently.

it's a blast.