making new friends

when i got called into young womens i was scared to death.  there's something really intimidating to me about teenagers.  something about that teenager know it all sort of thing.  they know the latest fashions and trends and music and basically everything pop culture.  i really don't know how to describe it but it's like teenagers have a special teenagers only club where they make the rules and you don't know them.  someone tell me you know what i'm talking about because i seriously can't think how to describe it.

anyways, when i got the calling and especially when i walked into young womens the first day, i was so nervous and scared.  like the new girl walking into a new school where everyone already has their friends and basically they were doing just fine without you thank you very much.  it was like a mountain in front of me and i had major fear of rejection.  it seemed so far off, maybe even impossible, that i would be able to make new friends.  how on earth could i connect with these girls?  i'm old now.  i don't even listen to the radio or watch tv and i hate shopping and can't even remember the last time i got my hair cut, much less, styled.

well, it's been two months and...  i'm loving it.  these girls are so awesome and i love hanging out with them.  i feel like we're connecting more and maybe they're just flattering and trying to make me feel included (I DON'T CARE!  I'LL TAKE IT!) but i feel like they actually like me and enjoy being around me like i enjoy being around them.  when i went with the soccer game on saturday it was fun.  tonight when we made a few visits to some elderly women in the ward we had sooo much fun.  there was so much talking (shouting/yelling/y'know) and laughing and just.... i dunno.  i don't know how to describe it.  it was like a movie or a commercial of people having fun.  as we drove to the visits, we were all in the laurel adviser's mini van and shouting stories and making jokes and laughing.  they have such incredible enthusiasm and it's so contagious.  they're always coming up with new fun stuff we should do or try out.  i can feel it... we're clicking.

when you're starting out, it's so hard to feel anything but hopelessly overwhelmed,  but it's only been two months and i can see so much progress.  i know i have a far way to go, but i'm taking it a day at a time and i can feel myself getting there.  i'm getting to know the girls.  i'm getting more comfortable around them.  and the best part is that the more this happens the less i consciously think about it.  it's not me being yw president.  it's me just going to hang out with the girls and be their friend.  as the days pass, it feels less and less like something on my mind because it's my calling, and more and more just... natural.

i really can't describe it so i'll just go ahead and stop trying, but really, i'm just so grateful for this opportunity and full of love for these girls and happy.  so very very happy.  wish me luck that my good fortune continues!