plumping up

after i had baby girl, i hung on to quite a few pregnancy pounds for a good six months.  and i looked pregnant for five of those months.  i was afraid to go in public without my baby because i was terrified someone would ask when i was due.  and then, since i have trouble eating when i travel, that christmas break, all of the weight just melted off.  and then some more.  and then for a whole year my appetite just seemed pretty in check that i wouldn't want to eat unless i was really hungry and everything was alright.  i was a little thinner than i'd like but it wasn't a problem.  then this past christmas came around and we were (well, honey was) getting anxious that we weren't getting pregnant.  well, it's not like i get pregnant easily in the first place and quite possibly it wasn't helping that i was so thin.  sooo i decided to put on a few pounds.  well, more like 15.  i needed to get back up to where i was when i got pregnant with baby girl.  we'd tried for over two years to get pregnant with her with no success.  i put on an extra ten pounds and BAM, got pregnant right away.  sooo i decided that was my magic weight and that's where i wanted to be.  problem was, i had zero appetite.  my stomach wasn't registering hunger... and even when it was, i didn't actually want to eat.  it's like when you're sick and you don't even want to eat your very favorite foods.  it wasn't fun.  to say the least.

in january i stepped it up a notch.  adding a pad of butter to everything i ate.  tons of cheese.  full fat yogurt.  huge spoonfuls of full fat sour cream on everything mexican.  using half and half in recipes instead of just whole milk.  soups with tons of butter and cream.  tons of carbs and full fat cream cheese.  nothing was working.

but last week i thought i noticed pants fitting a little tighter in the waist.  it was working!  i was gaining weight!  and then more recently i noticed that my stomach was sticking out.  and yesterday and today it's been sticking out a lot.  more than a lot.  what the heck?!  i only gain weight in my hips and thighs... why do i have a belly now?  who knows.  but let me just say that i in the last five days, i went from super skinny to looking five months pregnant.  and i can assure you that it is not due to a baby in my belly.

sooo riddle me this.  why do i look severely pregnant?!  and how can i transfer that "full with child" look to something a little more beyonce?  because one thing way crappier than not being able to get pregnant, is seeing your pregnant looking belly day in and day out, knowing that there's no baby inside.  

and goodness help me because i know the rumors are sure to follow.  i look halfway pregnant and my kid is going to be two in a matter of months.  in mormon world that's about as simple to put together as 2+2=4.  so, i already went ahead and told christopher tonight (and no, i'm not even joking about this) and i'll tell you too, should you hear rumors floating around that i'm with child, practice this line...

"oh, she's not... she just looks it."

because i kid you not, i've been practicing it myself.

this was taken in january in dubai... after a big breakfast.  imagine me now about ten times this big.

this was the breakfast.

in summary:  "oh, i'm not.  i just look it."