i've got a lot to learn

i want five kids.  possibly six, but at least five.  even after the past two weeks.  which is crazy because i am not doing this two kid thing gracefully in the least.

i've already mentioned that i'm constantly covered in a variety of bodily fluids and even when i do actually shower and get dressed, i wear the same three scoop neck shirts and tanks over and over again because when brady decides he needs to eat it was ten minutes ago dangit and what's taking you so long?!  so naturally i feel gorgeous.  not at all like a poorly dressed cow giving out milk on demand.  not. at. all.

my first kid never cried as a newborn and very very rarely as a baby and she has remained an unusually easy child.  my second kid is quite the opposite.  on the rare occasion that he's awake but not eating or crying, he's either grunting, fussing, or some other combination of noises that don't even have a name.

and as if the introduction of a crying newborn was not enough to get used to, it has also coincided with the injection of some radioactive substance into what used to be my angelic toddler, giving her obscene amounts of physical energy while making her insanely clumsy as well.  she has sustained more major head injuries in the last two weeks than i can even keep track of.  although that fall at costco yesterday bashing her head flat into the cement floor yielded a really great nap.  and yes, i know you're supposed to keep your kid awake after stuff like that to check for signs of a concussion but i just threw her in bed and relished in the, now infrequent, occasion that i would have three uninterrupted hours of not constantly contemplating tossing my daughter out of window.  i'd already spent much of the morning encouraging her to run away with a stranger so i took this as an improvement in my day.

so while my kids are frequently simultaneously crying and demanding my attention, my mother keeps laughing at my comments and questions asking if it's too late to go back on this motherhood thing and start a career instead.  i wonder at what point she'll start getting worried for her grandkids.  i know it hasn't happened already because i still get the sense she's in my camp more than theirs.  did i mention she'd been in town less than two hours before she suggested possibly changing her ticket to leave early.  well, should i go ahead and tell you that she arrived tuesday and by wednesday morning she'd changed her flight?  she says it because she wants to make it to salt lake for a wedding but we all know the real reason.  

they're not as angelic as they seem.