mother come back to me

my mother left less than 24 hours ago.  since then, i almost didn't make it home from the airport, i woke up in the middle of the night to a whole lotta pain and realized i have a clogged milk duct, i woke up to find out that the milk duct was not a nightmare but is a reality instead, i spent an hour and a half rocking a carseat and holding a pacifier in my son's mouth with my feet trying to get him to finally fall asleep, and i am swamped in the guilt of loving my daughter more because she never cried like this and is actually singing to herself in her crib right now... at 10:42am.

the silver lining?  honey was supposed to have a business trip to wyoming today that got postponed because of the bad weather.  so instead of him being gone today from 2am to 10pm, he's only going to be gone during his normal times and will get home hopefully before 7 tonight.  i think i'm going to be really loving that when 7pm rolls around.  i mean, i'm already looking forward to it.